My Hot Alpha

I stood on the path waving them off. They were finally gone. Leaving to set up life together in another pack. I chewed the inside of my cheek as I swallowed the lump in my throat.

I didn't cry and I wasn't going to. This was the best thing for Carter and Alanna. A fresh start, time to build a life and family of their own.

Jake's hand slipped into mine and it took everything in me not to pull away. We hadn't talked much, not the conversation we needed to have anyway. I felt deflated, part of me wanted to give up. I was sick to death of feeling this way. "Are you okay?". He asked.

"I'm going to head home". I spoke.

"Then we'll go home".

"We need to talk Jake".

"I know and I promised we would".

"We should say goodbye to your mom". Everyone had already headed back inside to enjoy the rest of the party.

"She'll know we've went home. I'll call her later".

He didn't let go of my hand and as much as I wanted to stay mad, I didn't have the energy to. I was done. I was tired of always feeling left in the dark. I thought everything was falling into place. I thought once we mated it would be different, but nothing changed. I was still none the wiser about the world I had been thrust into.

Reaching our house, I wasn't ready to go inside yet. The sun was setting, the air around us becoming cool nighttime approaching. I loved watching the sun rise but it sure was beautiful when it was setting for the night.

"I'm sorry". He squeezed my hand gently. "I'll do better I promise. I'll teach you; I'll show you. I'll help you connect with your wolf".

"Do you not think I'm strong enough?". I asked. "Do you not think I'll be able to gain back control?".

"Of course, I think you're strong enough it's just-...". He paused. "I don't want anything to happen to you".

"Is something going to happen to me?".

"I'm just worried. I worry about you all the time. If something did happen to you, I'd never be able to forgive myself".

"Nothing is going to happen to me". I grabbed a hold of his other hand. "But I can't keep doing this. Do you know how useless I feel or how stupid I feel being left in the dark all the time. I know nothing about this lifestyle, and no one will tell me anything because you won't let them".

"Alanna had no issues telling you".

"Jake".

"I'm sorry. Things will get better I promise".

"I'm going to see my dad tomorrow and I think it's best that I go by myself".

"No". He frowned. "We're going to the cabin tomorrow; we're going to chill out for a few days and then we're going to see your family".

"I think a few days a part is exactly what we need right now".

"Don't do this". His grip on my hands tightened. "Please Leah".

"I have to". I whispered.

"You're leaving me".

"What, no". A sigh fell from my lips. "I love you and only you, but I think a few days apart will help us".

"No, it won't. You should be here with me. We can sort this, work on what you want. I'll do better".

"I need this, and I need you to let me go".

His grip on my hands loosened as he put some space between us.

"You really want this?".

I nodded. I didn't want it to be like this, but I had had enough. We needed the space, and I needed a few days to myself.

"Two days and that's it. I'll drive you there and I'll pick you back up when it's time to come home".

"If you drive me there you won't leave".

"Fine Leah whatever you want now come on its freezing out here".

..

I must say I was expecting more. A heated argument at least but when we got inside, he planked himself in front of the tv and didn't say anything else to me.

I headed upstairs for a quick shower and to change into my pjs. I couldn't wait to get this dress off. Recently the only thing I felt comfortable in was sweats or leggings.

When I went back downstairs, he was sat in the same position only now he had a beer in his hand and a bowl of chips in his lap. A football game playing on the tv.

I wasn't even sure if he was talking to me, but I wasn't changing my mind about going. I wasn't getting made to feel guilty or let him talk me out of it. I had to remind myself I was doing this for us. A few days apart wasn't going to kill us.

I went into the kitchen to fix myself some tea and a snack. I was stood in front of the fridge trying to decide what to eat when his arms snaked around my waist his head resting against my shoulder.