My Fault (Culpable Book 1)

I was desperate. I couldn’t take the pressure a minute more. That fear burning me inside was so intense that I wanted to tear my own heart out to keep it from aching. There had to be something I could do; we couldn’t just let that bastard take the money and maybe not even give us Noah back. Surely there was something I wasn’t thinking of, some detail, but I couldn’t imagine what. Dawn was an hour away, and I didn’t know if I could hold out without going to look for her in town myself. My house was full of people, and not one of them seemed to know what to do next. Some said my father should go hand over the money on his own with the police following close behind. But what if Noah’s bastard father caught on and decided to do something to her? He was sick in the head; he’d crossed a continent just to kidnap his daughter and ask for a ransom. There was probably nothing he wasn’t capable of.

I got up from the chair in my father’s office and went upstairs. I needed to be close to something Noah had touched, smell her clothes, be in her room. I was so scared, I would have given my own life to know she was all right.

When I opened the door, I saw her mother. Her eyes were swollen from so much crying, and she was hugging one of the sweatshirts Noah had put on a million times. It had the Dodgers’ logo on it. I didn’t know why the hell she had it, she wasn’t even from here, but that was just Noah: strange, perfect. And dammit, I loved her. If anything happened to her, I wasn’t sure how I could go on living.

Raffaella looked over from the window where she was standing, and for a second, her eyes lit up.

“I know what you’ve been hiding from me,” she said without any feeling whatsoever. I stopped, unsure how to reply. “I don’t know what your feelings for her are, Nicholas, but Noah is my life. She’s suffered a lot. She doesn’t deserve what’s happening.” She brought a hand to her mouth to silence her sobs. “It’s been years since I’ve seen her as happy as she’s been these past few days. And now…all I know is you had something to do with that, and I want to thank you for it.”

I shook my head, sitting on the foot of the bed in despair. I couldn’t hear those words, I couldn’t, not knowing it had all been my fault… I had taken her to the races; it was my fault she’d met Ronnie, but what I couldn’t understand was how her father and that asshole had gotten together and plotted to kidnap the love of my life.

“Noah was always very mature, ever since she was a little girl. She saw things a person should never see, and she never backed down from anybody. With you, she seemed like a different person.”

Emotions began flooding over me. Fear, sorrow, desolation. I’d never felt so miserable in my whole life. My eyes grew moist, and all I could do was let the tears flow down my cheeks.

Raffaella helped me up and wrapped her arms around me. Her hug felt strong—the hug of a mother. Raffaella might have made mistakes in the past, but she loved her daughter and would never abandon her. For the first time in my life, I felt like I had a family.

She let me go, still holding Noah’s sweatshirt, and stepped back.

I made a promise to her.

“I swear to you I won’t let anything happen to her. I’m going to find her.” I said this as calmly as I could.

She nodded as I turned around and walked to my room.

Where are you, Noah?

I paced back and forth while my thoughts assailed me. Not until I saw the miniature car Noah had given me for my birthday did it hit me. I grabbed it and looked at the note.

I’m sorry about your car, for real. Someday, I’ll buy you a new one. Happy birthday. Noah.

Buy me a new one… Technically, the car was still mine. It was registered in my name; I still had the title.

When that hit me, I couldn’t believe it. I turned and ran down to my father’s office. He was in his chair talking to the police and his security chief, Steve.

I couldn’t help feeling excited. If I was right, we were going to be able to find out where Noah was.

“Dad,” I said as I went in. He and Steve turned to me. They looked tired after a sleepless night, but both where alert and tense, ready for whatever had to happen.

“What is it?” my father said.

“I think I know how we can find her,” I said, praying I wasn’t wrong. “Around a month and a half ago, I lost my car in a bet. It’s a black Ferrari. I bought it two years ago.”

My father grimaced.

“Nicholas, I don’t have time for your bullshit right now,” he replied, but I ignored him.

“Ronnie took the car,” I continued, looking now at Steve. “The car’s got a tracking chip the insurance company installed when I bought it. If we can find the car…”

It was silent for a few seconds.

“Then we find Noah,” Steve said, finishing my sentence.