My Fault (Culpable Book 1)

I didn’t think all those dark feelings would catch up to me when I left the school, but they did. I couldn’t stop thinking about how that girl I loved so much had been tortured, almost killed. For that reason, I went straight to my father’s office. I wanted to know his thoughts about all this, but especially what could be done after finding out the woman I loved had been beaten and mistreated for years.

I reached Leister Enterprises and headed straight for the top floor. Janine, my father’s secretary, had known me her whole life; it had been her job to buy me birthday presents and take me to my friends’ parties. She’d gone to my soccer games when my father was too busy working. She’d even chewed me out when I’d had bad grades on my report card. Janine was a kind of mother to me, but I’d never opened my heart to her. I’d never opened my heart to any woman until Noah showed up. But still, Janine and I were close.

“Nicholas, what are you doing here?” she asked with a smile. She was a thin woman over sixty. My father held on to her because she was as hardworking and loyal as they came, and it wasn’t easy dealing with my father at work. I knew—I was interning at his practice.

“Hey, Janine, I need to talk to Dad. Is he in a meeting?” I asked, trying to keep myself from bursting in.

“No, you can go ahead. He’s looking over this afternoon’s case.” I headed straight back and opened the door without knocking. My father’s dark-blue eyes looked up from his documents and straight at me.

“What are you doing here?” he asked me sternly. He never said hello; that was a habit of his.

“I’m here to talk to you about Noah. And about Raffaella, to be precise.” I stood there in front of his luxurious desk, hoping he’d be sincere with me for once in his life. “Do you know about what her bastard ex-husband did?”

After staring at me a moment, my father pushed aside his documents, stood, walked to the bar, and poured himself a glass of cognac.

“How’d you find out?” he asked.

So he knew. That didn’t particularly surprise me. That wasn’t the kind of thing you could keep hidden too long.

“Noah freaks out if she’s in a room with the lights off. The other day she almost had a panic attack. When she calmed down, she told me.” The memory of what those fuckers had done to her enraged me, but I kept calm. “Dad, do you know what that son of a bitch did? Noah almost died… A piece of glass stabbed her in the stomach. She might not even be able to have kids.”

“I know,” he said, sitting down with an expression of grief on his face.

“You do?” I started pacing angrily through the room. “Her own mother left her alone with an abuser! Raffaella’s as much to blame as he is,” I shouted in impotent rage.

“Nicholas, I’m not going to let you talk about my wife that way. You have no idea what she’s been through or how much she regrets leaving her daughter there… She didn’t have a life like ours. She didn’t have money or anyone to help her fight for her child. She suffered that man’s abuse for years. Her body is a map of scars… So I won’t let you—”

“Noah was a little girl, Dad!” I interrupted him. “For God’s sake! She had to jump out a window! He should be dead, that son of a bitch!”

“Nicholas, sit down. There’s something you need to know.” He motioned at the chair in front of him.

Instead of sitting down, I stood behind it. As he brought his drink to his lips, I wished he’d poured one for me.

“A month ago, he got paroled,” he said. My body tensed as my brain tried to assimilate those words. “It’s been six years since they sentenced him. If Raffaella had pressed charges for abuse earlier, he might have gotten more time, but he was only sentenced for his crimes against Noah… She was hurt, but the worst of it was when she jumped out the window and a shard of glass injured her. He wasn’t blamed for that. It seems he had friends in high places and got his sentence reduced. What I’m trying to tell you is, he’s out, and Raffaella’s scared he’ll try to get in touch with her. I found out not long ago, and I was angry. She should have told me before. We need to keep our eyes open for anything strange… I don’t think he’ll try anything, but I’m worried still. Raffaella’s terrified. She’s been having nightmares every night, and she doesn’t want Noah to know he’s gotten out. You need to keep the secret.”

“How can he be out? You can’t do anything?” I asked, feeling deeply unsettled. That madman could be trying to hunt down his wife and daughter that very moment, and I didn’t know how Noah would react if she saw the man from her nightmares again.

“I tried to get a judge to file a restraining order, but since we don’t have any evidence of him trying anything, it’s been impossible. Probably we’re overthinking it. He’s in another country. I doubt he would come all the way to America. Still, we should keep on our toes, especially for Ella’s sake…”

“Agreed. You take care of your wife, and I’ll take care of Noah,” I said, serving myself a drink from the bar.

I could feel him staring into me from behind.

“Son…please tell me you haven’t hooked up with your stepsister,” he said, closing his eyes.

Shit…was it that obvious?

“I just want to take care of her, Dad,” I said, downing my drink in one go.

“Look, I don’t know what you two have got going on, and I don’t want to know, but please, I beg you, don’t do anything idiotic. It’s hard enough to keep Raffaella from losing her mind with what’s going on. The last thing I need is to learn you’re hot for your stepsister.”

I hated him treating our relationship so blithely.

“I’m not hot for her, Dad… I love her. And I promise you, I won’t let anyone lay a finger on her.”

He nodded.

“Be careful, Nicholas.”

I left the office, and just as I did, my phone rang: Noah.

“What’s up?” I asked. She was supposed to be in class. What the hell was she doing calling me?

“Nick…you’ve got to come get me,” she said in a strange voice.

“Why? Are you okay?” I asked, getting in the elevator and going down.

“It’s just… They suspended me for the rest of the day.”

I smiled as I picked her up out front of the school. She ran over to my car, so adorable I couldn’t help but kiss her even before she told me anything about what had happened.

“You threw a strawberry shake at her head?” I asked, cackling. “For real?”

“I don’t know what happened,” she admitted. “But I don’t care, either. She deserved it. Don’t judge me. I had something inside me I had to let out.” She put on her seat belt, and I pulled out, laughing.

“You think anyone will be home?” I asked a minute later.

“Probably. Why?”

“Because I want to make love to you so bad right now, I think I’m going to explode.” I wanted her with an intensity that frightened me. I put a hand on her thigh and started pushing up her skirt. Her skin was soft.

“Two can play at that game, right?” she said, and it took all the self-control I had not to crash into the car in front of me. Noah undid her seat belt and came close. Her hand rested on my knee while she planted her lips on my neck.

“Come on, now, Freckles,” I said when I felt her tongue on my ear. “I can’t drive and do this at the same time.”

“You started it.” Her hand glided up my leg while she nibbled at my neck and jaw.

I stopped her hand when it got to what it was looking for.

“Get out,” I ordered her, eyes burning with desire.

“I think I’ll pass. The last time you told me that, you left me standing in the middle of the road.”

“Get out or I’ll do you right here,” I threatened her.

She returned to her seat. When I saw she wasn’t listening, I got out myself, walked around to her door, and pulled her out.

“You’re not thinking of doing it here?” she asked, looking at the cliff and the seaside behind us.

I ignored her and pushed her into the door of the car, forcing her to wrap her legs around me.

She arched her back and closed her eyes. I kissed her ear, her jaw, anywhere there was bare skin. I wanted to see her, and with one hand I unbuttoned her shirt completely.

“Did I tell you how much this uniform turns me on?” I said as I kissed her breasts.

“You and every other guy on earth,” she sighed.

Noah and her sarcastic sense of humor. I squeezed her tighter, and she sighed louder now. Fortunately, we were alone.

“Now I’m going to make you mine again,” I said, looking her in the eye.

“You are mine, and I’m yours,” she said, returning my stare. “I love you, Nick.”

“And I love you, Precious,” I said, sinking into her and enjoying how she responded to me. “I love you like crazy,” I said, as I clutched her tightly and we attained the most profound pleasure known.

We spent the rest of the day at the beach, lying on the sand and getting to know each other better.

“Who gave you your first kiss?” she asked, lying on her belly with her head resting on her hands. She was young; she was beautiful. I had to struggle not to touch her every second.

“You, obviously,” I responded, watching the wind tousle her hair and the sun redden her cheeks, making her freckles more visible.

She rolled her eyes.

“I’m serious,” she said, ignoring a lock of hair that kept blowing into her eyes. I stretched my hand out and tucked it behind her ear.

“You really want to know?” I asked. “Fine, but you’re going to laugh… It was Jenna.”

“No!” Her eyes widened like saucers. “No way! Are you serious?”

“We were kids, she was my neighbor and only friend, and we just wanted to see what it felt like… I thought it was weird, she thought it was gross, and she said she’d never do it again.”

Noah cracked up. I was happy to know it hadn’t bothered her. That kiss had meant nothing to me: Jenna was my friend, one of my only true friends.

“What about you?” I asked her, uncomfortable, not wanting to imagine Noah in any other guy’s arms.

“Well, when I did it I wasn’t that little, so I didn’t swear I’d never do it again… Actually, I liked it.”

“So who was it with then?” My attitude was a little more serious than I would have liked, but she either ignored or didn’t notice my tone.

“It was with the lifeguard from the public pool… He was super hot, and we hooked up in the emergency room.”

I grabbed her and pulled her on top of me.

“So you liked it, huh?” I said, trapping her so she couldn’t move.

“I loved it,” she admitted, and I realized she was making fun of me.

“You like torturing me?”

“Honestly, I think it’s hilarious, yeah,” she admitted, smiling and making me kiss her until we were both out of breath.

“I’m going to have to teach you what it means to actually torture someone,” I said, bringing my lips close to hers but without touching. I slipped my hand down her leg, watching the desire grow inside her. When my fingers were in the pit of her knee, I stopped and then brought them back up her thigh while my other hand unbuttoned her shirt and I kissed the soft skin of her stomach.

Then I stood up, leaving her there with her cheeks flushed, dying from unfulfilled longings. It took her a few seconds to realize what I was doing. She looked at me like an abandoned dog.

“What the hell?” she asked, exasperated.

“Like this, you’ll think twice before you try to make me jealous again.” It was almost impossible not to finish what we’d started, but I wouldn’t; I was having too much fun.

Slack-jawed, she started buttoning her shirt again.

“You’re the same dickhead you always were,” she grumbled, getting up, grabbing he blanket, and walking off to the car. I chuckled as I admired her long legs and her hair flapping in the wind.

Before she could make it there, I brought her back and kissed her deeply. I couldn’t stay apart from her any longer; a few minutes was my maximum. I rubbed my lips against hers, but she kept her mouth closed, hesitant, not letting me slip my tongue in until I’d licked and venerated her. When she gave in, I responded with the best kiss ever…a kiss worthy of remembering, not like that kiss from that idiot lifeguard.