Marriage For One

The next few days I spent at the hospital were hard. More tests and doctor visits resumed, and I felt like I was about to lose my mind. I’d never appreciated the outdoors as much as I did in that hospital room.

The only good moments came at night, with Jack.

I wasn’t sure if I was feeling extra vulnerable because of the surgery and my sickness, but what I was starting to feel for him seemed like it was tripling every night we spent together in that spacious hospital room I couldn’t possibly have afforded on my own.

It was the second or third night, I was having trouble sleeping because of all the mouth breathing I had to do, and I just couldn’t get comfortable with the fact that I couldn’t breathe through my nose.

The room was dark when he spoke, and the world outside my room was quiet other than the footsteps of the nurses walking by to check on patients every now and then.

“You’re not sleeping,” Jack said quietly. It wasn’t a question.

I had my back to him because I wanted him to get some sleep and not have to worry about me. He worried about me quite a lot, and just realizing that fact had made me so extremely happy. I rolled over slowly, making sure I wasn’t lying completely on my side and my head was tilted toward the ceiling.

It wasn’t completely dark in the room, not with all the city lights and the light slipping in underneath the door from the hallway, but it wasn’t as clear as day either. He was lying on the couch, his legs crossed at the ankles. He was wearing pants and a thin, navy blue sweater, which were his casual clothes. I didn’t know why he didn’t wear something more comfortable.

“No,” I replied. “But I’m trying.”

“Do you need anything?”

“No. Thank you. Are you okay there?”

“I’m fine. Try to go to sleep.”

We were silent for a long time. I was staring up at the ceiling when he spoke again.

“It started snowing.”

I rolled my head and looked out the window. Sure enough, you could make out the white flurries flying around. It looked beautiful, and if it held, the city would be covered in white. Winter in NYC was my favorite time of the year, and Christmas would arrive soon—not that I’d be up and running then, but still…Christmas was coming.

“First snow…it’s beautiful. I wish we could go outside and actually feel it. I love snow.”

“There will be more.”

“Jack? Can I ask for something?”

“Of course.”

Before I could even say what I wanted, he was up and by my side. I looked up at him in the dark. I couldn’t make out his features clearly, but I was sure he looked amazing. He always did. He was always so put together, and more than that, there was something about the way he carried himself, so confident and aloof. It pulled you in and kept hold of you. The fact that he looked like a movie star—a really grumpy one—was just an added bonus.

“Do you need water?”

He ran his fingers through my hair and waited for me to answer. He’d been doing that a lot the last few days, which was why I didn’t think he’d turn me down when I made my next request.

“Could you lie with me?” His fingers stilled in my hair. “I know it wouldn’t be comfortable, but just for a little while.”

“Are you cold?”

“Nope.”

Before he could say no, I scooted back to give him a little space. Thanks to the private room, the bed wasn’t as small as the usual hospital beds. Without another word, he lay down next to me.

I turned to my side.

“You’re supposed to lie on your back, not on your side.”

“Thank you for reminding me, doctor, but the back of my head is tingling, and I can barely feel my head. I’ll just stay like this for a few minutes, that’s all.”

He finally turned his head to look at me. “How are you feeling?”

“Better. I don’t have much pain, which is surprising. The headaches aren’t so bad either. I think I could go home.”

I noticed his lips moving up an inch. “Not so fast. We’re here for a few more days.”

So that didn’t work.

“You haven’t been going to work.”

“And?”

“Can you take so many days off like this?”

“I can do whatever I want.”

“But don’t you have clients and whatever stuff that you need to get back to?

“Are you trying to get rid of me, Rose?”

I scooted closer to him and pushed my hand under my cheek. “Nope.” I didn’t want to get rid of him at all. I pulled on the cover he was lying on top of, and as soon as he moved to the side and it was clear, I threw it over him, leaning over and making sure he was covered.

“What’s going on here?”

“Just so you won’t be cold,” I muttered, securing him to my side. It was more like Just so you can’t leave.

He turned to his side as well, staring straight into my soul.

“What’s going on?” he repeated, softer.

“Please tell me this is real,” I whispered. “What I’m starting to feel for you…what I think we have. Please tell me it’s real and I’m not just imagining it.”

My right hand was resting on my hip then a second later it was resting on his broad chest, our fingers linked together. “You’re not imagining it.”

“Do you think it’s smart?”

“You and I?”

I nodded.

“Who cares about being smart. We’re already married so…there is no reason why we shouldn’t go there.”

“Right?” I agreed, perking up. “I was thinking the same thing. It’d be a waste of a marriage.”

“And if you don’t think it’s working or you don’t think I’m what you want, it’ll go back to what it was.”

“Same goes for you, of course. Sometimes I can be an acquired taste. I know that.”

He chuckled, and it warmed something inside me. He let go of my hand and cupped my cheek. The hairs on my arms stood up, and I could do nothing but close the distance between us, needing to get closer to him. Only a few inches were left between us.

“I’m the one who is an acquired taste in this relationship, and we both know that,” he said.

Gently, I laid my head on his shoulder, but then he lifted his arm so I could lie on his chest. We settled in better after that.

He moved his hand under the covers and came out with something between his fingers.

My heart jumped in my chest when I saw what he had for me. “My ring!”

“I thought I should hold on to it until you were feeling better,” he explained.

“I’m good. I’m okay.” I held up my hand between us, impatient for him to put it back on. His fingertips slid along my ring finger and he pushed it back until it was securely in place. I stared at it for a little while in the dark.

I closed my eyes and let out a deep breath from my mouth. “How do you feel about Thursdays?”

“How should I feel about them?”

“Like pizza, maybe? We can do pasta on Mondays and pizza on Thursdays.”

“We can argue about the toppings.”

“Sounds fun to me.”

“Good. Now go to sleep.”

With a smile on my face, I snuggled in closer. “I have a good feeling about this, Jack Hawthorne. I have a really good feeling about this.”

I smiled even bigger when he whispered, “It’ll work. I promise you, Rose.”

Jack and I, we were made in a crappy hospital bed, whispering our secrets, dreams and promises to each other. We were holding each other close as if what we had, what we were forming and building would be taken away from us with the sunlight.

Four days after the surgery, they finally took out the packing in my nose, and to say it was an experience would be an understatement. I’m not ashamed to admit that I cried for a solid ten minutes after it was done as Jack let me hold on to him tightly in our room and told me to stop crying. Everything seemed to be catching up with me, and then when they took out the damn thing—which I’d thought was only a few inches in but actually reached all the way up to my forehead, if not higher—I couldn’t keep it together any longer. I hadn’t cried since the surgery, so I supposed I was due.

The nights with Jack continued to be the only highlights of my day. I was secretly hoping we’d get to sleep in the same bed when we went back to his apartment, because I was already getting used to feeling his body and touch right next to mine.

When I had first met and married this man, I hadn’t understood him, but he had surprised me at every turn from day one. I couldn’t believe I’d thought the man lying next to me was cold and detached. He had proven otherwise with his actions countless times.

With all of that in my mind, I was feeling surprisingly torn about leaving the hospital, feeling afraid things would change once we got back to the real world as Dr. Martin gave me his last warnings on the day I was set to be discharged.

“You’re on bed rest for two weeks, Rose.”

“Can I get back to work after that?”

“You have a cafe, right?” he asked.

“Yes. I won’t work too much, but I’d like to get back out there as quickly as I can.”

“Fine. You can go back to work, but you can’t work like you used to. Don’t overdo it. Sit down and look over things, and only a few hours at first. Listen to your body—if it tells you it’s tired, you stop doing whatever you’re doing. No heavy lifting, nothing more than a few pounds. No sneezing whatsoever. No sex, no alcohol. You have to take it easy.”

I only latched onto one thing. “No sex?” I could feel Jack’s eyes burning into me, but I maintained eye contact with the good doctor.

“Yes, no sex for quite a while.”

“What’s quite a while exactly?” I pushed, probably surprising everyone in the room.

“At least three months. No alcohol for at least three months either, and no plane rides, because that kind of pressure can undo our work. Anything that can create pressure in your skull is to be avoided.”

“Okay. No sex for three months.”

Dr. Martin let out a loud laugh, and I couldn’t help but smile back at him.

“I want to see you back here next week, and in another two weeks, we’ll take out the stitches in your stomach.” He turned his attention to Jack. “You have my private number if anything happens or if you have any questions, and don’t hesitate to call me. I’ll see you two next week.”

The doctor left and we were alone once again. Jack turned to me with a scowl on his face.

“I’m sorry,” I started before he could say anything. “I know you can’t keep your hands off of me, so this is gonna be tough for us. After all the sex we’ve had so far in our marriage, three months will feel like an eternity. I hope you can survive.”

“Smartass,” he muttered. Shaking his head, he went to the little closet and took out my bag so I could change into my clothes. I slid down from the edge of the bed and took it from him, but only after I leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. There was something about being able to kiss him when there was no one around that appealed to me. He thought I was being ridiculous, but I didn’t see him try to stop me even once. He always put his hand around my waist, holding me to him for longer. I was pretty sure he liked it too.

“How do you not sneeze, by the way?” I asked while rummaging around in my bag without looking down into it, trying to find some socks to wear.

“I have no idea, but you’re not allowed to sneeze, so I suggest you figure it out fast.”

After an hour of sitting around and signing stuff, we finally walked out of the hospital and straight into the cold. The sidewalks were muddy and wet with melted snow, but the air…God, finally being hospital-free and outside, holding Jack’s hand all the way to the car…it was indescribable.

After saying a quick hello to Raymond, the first thing I asked him to do was take me to Around the Corner.