Make Me

"Shall I stop?" the deep, smoky voice entered my ears violently, not letting me ignore it in the slightest. By back was against a cold, hard surface, yet my fingers twirled around something incredibly soft and dark. Hair, soft as a cat's fur. A voice, that speaks so politely, yet slyly, knowing the answers to all the question it asks. I heard myself just as if I was a third person in the room, moaning and struggling to keep my voice in my throat, but my fingers, curled around those soft locks, said something completely else. Pushing down the head they were holding, I growled: "Don't you dare"

***

The morning felt cruel and painful. My head was hurting badly, my stomach felt like giving out everything it had, but also wanting to eat, and it confused me more than anything. Fuck. I hate hangovers.

I could barely remember the last night, but a faint memory of getting in a fight in the bar, and so Jude brought me home. Things could've turned out worse I guess. I slowly sat up in my bed, looking at my side. I was still in time to get to my first lecture. Carefully standing on my feet, I stretched a little and made my way to the living room. Jude sat there, on the couch, with a cup in his hand, and a book in the other.

"Good morning... You got up pretty early" my comment caught his attention and he glanced in my direction with curiosity. He studied my face for a while then gave me a sly, but barely noticeable smile.

"I figured you'll sleep in... " he answered, his voice deeper than usual, and a little more... husky, a little raspy. I raised an eyebrow at him while I walked up to the counter to make myself a coffee.

"You sound deeper"

"My throat hurts a little, that's all" his voice held a strange amusement as if he had his own personal inner joke about the situation, but didn't tell me about it...

That's strange though. I didn't think demons could catch a cold or so. As my coffee was finally ready, I turned to him, scanning him a little concerned.

He seemed quite alright like usually, his posture perfect and proud, yet elegant like a cat. I have a weird feeling that he is holding back something from me, but I didn't comment, just sipped on my drink and made my way to the bathroom. My neck was bruised, that jerk choked me if I remember correctly. What a dick really.

I washed my face, and I felt a little fresher, and despite my hangover, I somehow was more in my element, like the feeling when you finally eat the food you were craving but don't overeat yourself, so you just feel fulfilled and satisfied. Ah... I don't recall ever feeling that good in my skin really. I got my clothes off and had a quick shower, washing my hair, while whistling... I didn't even realize I was doing it until I heard myself. What the hell, am I in a good spirit today? Stepping out of the shower, I got a towel around my waist, when my whole body froze, staring at my reflection... Deep purple bitemarks ran through from my chest, down my stomach, only stopping at the line where my boxer was supposed to be... I slowly let go of the towel, to scan my body further, when I noticed one as well on my inner thigh... What the hell had happened?

I quickly got dressed, trying to find the memories that had gone away with last night, but everything was so blurry. I could only faintly remember, smells, and noises. A deep... a deep voice.

As I got back to the living room, I cautiously glanced at Jude a few times... No, if we had done it, he would brag about it non-stop, to tease me... But then who?

"Yesterday... after the fight. You brought me straight home?" I asked kindly, as if I was just trying to chat, while I got a jumper on. As I looked in his direction, I caught him giving me an interesting look.

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"Yes, I did." he replied, his voice once again, deep and raspy as if he just woke up "Why do you ask? You look a little red as well, are you alright?" tilting his head to the side, I just smiled awkwardly, trying not to give away my problem. It couldn't have been him, could it? I would never let him... not even when I'm drunk, there is no way.

"It's nothing really... I was just wondering." he gave me an all-knowing smirk, probably just to drive me insane with theories, before he got up and offered me my coat. Maybe I was just thinking too much to it, but I had a strong feeling, he knew exactly what was on my mind... he always knew somehow. Just from the light, good mood I woke up in, despite the hangover, I can tell I probably got laid but... With whom? And if it's not Veronica, did I cheat on her? I didn't get off with that bad excuse of a man in the bathroom, did I? No, my standards are not that low, and again, I'm not gay even when I'm drunk. But I'm almost certain it was a man... all the memories I have left, are filled with a deep voice... low and throaty. We made our way to school almost completely silent, though my mind was racing, trying to figure out who left the bite marks on me. The easiest solution would have been to ask Jude because he was probably around me when I got off with someone from the bar... but I was too ashamed to do so.

"Jude, Seth!" rang the familiar voice through the hallway. Veronica stormed to us, hugging me from behind, and guilt slowly sank to the pit of my stomach. I'm a terrible person.

"Hi dear... What's up?" I turned to her with a half-smile hating myself more with every second I kept pretending everything was alright.

"I was so worried... you really do get in fights when you are drunk, don't you? I wish you'd sometimes not pick on a whole group of guys" she traced her fingers through the small wound on my upper lip and shook her head.

"We got home safe after all..." Jude commented "And everything went... quite alright" those words were mocking my lack of knowledge of the previous day, and it irritated me to the core. So vague yet so suggestive, I was going insane over it. Finally, getting to our lecture, I could focus on something else than a probable hook-up that I had with someone. The professor went on and on, and it was hard to keep awake with my hangover still lingering. The more I tried to think only about art, the less I could, and my mind went back to the experiences that I didn't even know if I had.

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"Avoiding that silly 2-minute silence, while no one dares to approach someone to pair up with them, everyone will be in the team-project with the person right next to them" the professor announced, breaking my train of thought. since the lecture hall was managed in a way that one desk had two chairs with it, everyone quite knew who their partner will be, but I just froze. Fuck. I don't want to work with Jude... He'll probably not help me at all.

"The person on the left will be the model, and the person on the right will do the drawing. Remember, I want one drawing for each of these feelings." he pointed at the chalkboard, and I wrote them all down. Anger, Sorrow, Desire, Joy. Great, I'm sure Jude will have no problem flashing a few poses for me, especially because I have always wanted to draw him, but now I'll have an excuse without him misunderstanding it. It turns out this project isn't so bad! "I can see you are planning all sorts of things dear, but I'm afraid, you are on the left..." Jude's humming voice broke me from my thoughts, and for a second, I didn't even realize that he was right.

"Yeah but... you don't want to draw anyway, do you?"

"I'll manage something" he gave me an almost threatening grin and I felt a shiver run down my spine. Fuck... I must pair up with someone else, Jude will surely make it as embarrassing as it gets for me. I don't even know if he can draw! "It turns me on when you are this terrified..." he chuckled, and stood from his place, leaving me to the hard decision of either killing myself here or letting him do it for me, in a form of an art project. Anger... Desire... Joy? How am I even supposed to make faces and poses, when he is watching me!?