Love is Weakness. [1]

Kacey was right. This is day four without her and I'm sick. I keep throwing up all the food I eat and my tempature is even higher then normal. Wolfs don't get sick, wolfs can cure. But after letting my wolf take control for hours I am still not healed. I need to see her again, just to heal.

Are we finally going to take her home?

No, she will not come with me. I will come close to her, so I will be cured. This must work. I'll only have to be around her so our bond can be fed. I'll do that every three times and in the meanwhile I will find a way to get me rid of her. I have heard the stories of mates rejecting eachother, but those are old stories. Almost legends. I must speak with the eldest wolf there is. I must find him and ask him how I can reject her.

No! I want her. You will not take her away from me. My wolf growls dangerously at me.

A flash of pain curses through my head, temporarly taking my vision. I know this is hard, but a Luna is having a weakness. And losing that weakness wil make you lose yourself. I mindlink Duncan to come see me.

Anything wrong, Alpha?

I growl. Why always with the questions? Maybe I have gone too soft. Maybe I haven't been paying enough time to show them who the Alpha is. They have gotten too confident because their Moon Curse is broken.

Get here now. I send to him dripping through my Alpha dominance. Within minutes Duncan walks into my house. It takes him some time to find me. This room, the living room is now my favorite one. These books are now my favorite books. Tho, I don't want a Luna hearing her say she loved it made me feel happy for a moment.

'What's wrong, Alpha?' Duncan asks while he sits next to me. The moment his eyes fly up to me concern flashes his eyes. I know I look terrible. I haven't been sleeping nor eating. Everything is hard. My wolf has been distant to me due to my choice of not accepting Anastacia as my Luna, as his mate. Eventhough she has no wolf.

'I need to find a way to break the Mate link. In the meantime I need to see Stacia every three days so I won't get sick. I need you to go get her and bring her here.' I leave no room for questions. Eventhough I am at a weak state I know I am still stronger then Duncan. He knows too, he asks no questions and gets up immediatly. For a minute he looks at me as if he is going to speak but he decides against it. Good, so I won't have to fight my Beta today. Suddenly I'm nervous. What would she think? I didn't tell Duncan how he should bring her here, I just told him he has to. I know he will just pick her up or drag her along if she doesn't want to come. I look around in the livingroom. Beside from the new book on the shelf I haven't changed a thing. She said it was impersonal, that there were no pictures on the wall.

I quickly mindlink Lola, the mate of my cousin. Lola, can you come bring me that painting you have made from my mother?

I hated that painting for it reminded me of my loss. But maybe it is time to see what I have had, instead of being pained by everything I have lost.

Absolutely Alpha! I am glad you have changed your mind. I'll be there shortly.

Now the nervous really strike me. I pace back and forth into my livingroom. What should I say to her? I can't explain her anything. What will we do? I glance outside, staring at the trees untill they dance before my eyes.

She is coming back! Can we keep her now? We need her or we'll die. My wolf says in excitement. That's when it hits me. I don't need to see her, I can see her as my wolf. That way I will heal quicker and she will be in and out in no time. I really need to find out how I can break the link.

She is coming here! I will gladly take over. I will make her love us, since you won't. My wolf says.

I growl at him but think nothing. The front door opens and Lola comes in with a huge painted potret of my mother. I gesture her to put it against the wall and go. My mother was beautiful. She had long black raven hair with the same blue eyes as I. Before everything went wrong, she always smiled. She loved me dearly. I remember the mornings of strawberry chocolate pancakes and how we ran through the woods together. One night she woke me up after I had an argument with father. 'Let's go, my strong wolf.' She took me to the woods and we played hide and seek untill morning. She always let me win, always. And even in the end, even when her smile disappeared I remember her always taking care of me, loving me and protecting me. She died to protect me. Like my father had to die to protect the pack. Pain pierces through my heart, so I decide to stop thinking and put her painting on the wall. After ten minutes of cursing her portrait is finally hanging straight onto the wall next to the glass doors. I take a few steps back to admire the living room this way. Stacia was right, this is a lot better.

A flower field pierces through my nose. She is here! I quickly undress and let my wolf take over. Soon this will all be over.