SWNOVELS Love By Moonlight: Chapter 17
Daniel’s last lecture had been delivered, his last talk given. Now the end of June, and he was supposed to spend the next two months at a summer school up in Alaska, with an entire group of American seascape and landscape artists. He didn’t want to go and had sent his excuses. Personal matters at home which needed his attention. Completely true.
He wanted to go home. More especially, he wanted to go back to Solhaven. Ever since leaving, part of his mind had dwelt on Claire and how she must have felt when he abandoned her. It was a harsh thing, to leave her as he had, but he hoped she’d understood, and believed in him when he’d told her one day, he’d go back.
After ten months of intense work and, in-between, a lot of wandering along lonely coastlines, he felt healed and secure in himself, and also at peace.
He’d put Gina and his mother in the past. None of it was his fault.
He was also accepting of the fact his baby daughter still nestled in his heart and always would.
He was more than ready to go back, heart-whole and healed.
He’d ignored Claire’s messages, and eventually they’d stopped. He thought it was better that way. Twice, feeling homesick, wanting to be with her, he’d sent emails to her. Brief communications, saying little other than he hoped she was well, and he still intended to return. Her response had simply been a thumbs up emoji, which had left him feeling… disappointed. But what could he expect, after his initial, pointed silence? Since then, he’d concentrated on his work engagements and solitary ramblings.
Now, he needed to see her in person.
He had to see her.
He was going back to Solhaven, to find out if he and Claire had survived. He hoped she would still be there, working on her wonderful restoration, and would forgive—no, had forgiven—his absence. He hardly dared to consider she might have found someone else, but if she had, he hoped he’d be strong enough to leave her in peace.
It was a resolve he really didn’t want to put to the test.
Several days later, Daniel’s chin dark with the close-cropped beard he’d grown while in America, he pulled into the Haven House Hotel’s car park. The solidly grey Victorian mansion was indeed a haven. He’d subconsciously recognised that last year, but with the conflict in his mind, he’d not been able to fully appreciate the peacefulness of the house, with its sweeping views down to the low cliffs and the glittering sea. He could just see the roof of Gardener’s Cottage, and judging by the appearance of the gardens, Claire was continuing to do a magnificent job. Sitting in his car, his trembling hands resting on the wheel, apprehension filled him and his whole body shook as he considered his utter arrogance. His absence from this place, his absence from her, with hardly any communication, must have hurt her, and now he was returning, hoping she would’ve waited for him, and accept his presence back in her life. His previous calm certainty had deserted him. It took him nearly ten minutes before he dared to step out of the car.
Entering the hall, which he remembered had been cleverly turned into a reception area, there was no sign of Emily. Another lady, tall and dark-skinned, stood behind the desk. She was very striking, and Daniel immediately wondered if he could get her into one of his pictures.
‘Sir.’ She smiled at him, a dimple creasing her cheek.
‘Hi. Do you have any rooms free?’ Her name tag said Sasha Fielding. He placed his hands on the antique desk to stop their trembling.
Turning her attention to a slim laptop on the desk, she tapped a few keys. ‘We’ve four rooms. They vary in size and price. We’ve a suite, with a bedroom and small sitting-room, and a balcony which looks out to the coast, which is our most expensive, but very delightful, room…’ She paused and raised an eyebrow in his direction.
‘I’ll take it. And the Bradstocks? I was hoping to see them. I assume they’re still here?’ He was confident, with the commitment Jake had to the café and Emily’s plans for the hotel, they’d be around somewhere, and it would be good if he could sound them out. ‘I was here for a few weeks last year, and I got to know them well.’
‘Ah. Yes, they’re here. Shall I ring through and let them know you’re asking for them, Mr—er, Mr?’
‘Morgan. Daniel Morgan. Yes, please do.’ Daniel was fully aware of a slight flash of surprise crossing her face. So Sasha Fielding knew his name. Perhaps she was more than just an employee, then?
Handing over his card, receiving a key card in return, Daniel wandered over to the window at one side of the front door, and looked out over the gravelled drive and parking area. The gardens were flourishing now, and the manicured flower beds surrounding the house looked beautiful in the summer sun. It was nearly a year since he’d left and Claire had obviously worked hard.
He froze as someone pushing a wheelbarrow came into view from his left, and his heart thumped, palms growing damp with nervousness.
Claire!
But no, not Claire, he realised almost immediately, as the figure rounded the corner. Too tall, too broad, and dark-haired. A man. Did that mean Claire was no longer here? Had she left because of him? He must have hurt her by leaving, but it had still been the best thing to do, it really had. Returning now a much stronger man, Daniel knew there was hope for them… if she was still here, and if she’d still accept him. He felt sick at the thought he might have driven her away from the place and the job she loved so much, when for the entire time he’d been gone, he’d visualised her here, taking comfort from imagining her at work.
‘Daniel.’
That was Jake’s voice. Swinging round, Daniel smiled tentatively. He was uncertain of his welcome. After all, he’d messed Claire around, and as her brother, Jake might feel pissed about it. But the surfer was smiling, a hand outstretched. Stepping forwards, Daniel shook it, even more reassured when Jake slapped his shoulder.
‘Come and have a coffee in the lounge. Are you just calling round, or staying?’
‘I’ve booked a room. How’s Emily?’ His words rushed out, the two sentences jostling each other. He hardly dared mention Claire.
‘Nursing Olivia at the moment. She’ll bring her down and join us as soon as she’s done.’
A flash of pain hit Daniel. He suspected it would be there every time someone mentioned babies, but it was an acceptable pain now. ‘Congratulations!’ His smile of delight was genuine. ‘How old is she?’
‘She was born in January, so six months. They develop so quickly. She can sit up and loves being played with—’ Jake stopped abruptly, probably remembering the sorry tale Daniel had told him, the first day he was in the cottage.
‘It’s okay, Jake,’ Daniel murmured. ‘I’ve come a long way since last year. That’s why I’ve come back.’
They sat down in a corner of the large sitting-room, near one of the French windows. A server came across and Jake asked for coffees, checking with Daniel first as to preference.
‘Okay, you’ve come a long way, you said. So, how’s things, because I’m assuming you mean mentally, as well as physically?’ Jake’s smile was in place as always, but now they were sitting down, Daniel saw his eyes were the icy blue of a winter’s sky, and knew he was being questioned because of Claire, rather than Jake being chatty.
‘Yes. And it’s good. If it hadn’t been for Gina tipping me over the edge again, I would’ve been fine last year. My counsellor said a year ago I was nearing the end of the grieving phase, but Gina set me off again. I might have been okay, even then, but…’ his voice trailed off.
‘Claire pushed you a bit, didn’t she?’
‘A bit,’ Daniel admitted, ruefully. ‘But I had feelings for her, too, and she sensed that.’
‘Had?’
‘Have. Oh, yes, I have feelings for her. But I don’t know about her, now, do I? I may have totally pissed her off, and she’s simply wiped me from her mind and moved on? Although I told her I’d come back.’ His hand trembled as he picked up his coffee, and misgiving quivered through him. ‘I’ve finally put everything behind me.’
Jake nodded. ‘It’s all good, then, isn’t it?’
‘It is, as long as Claire’s still around and willing to see me again.’
‘Why wouldn’t she be round?’ Jake looked surprised.
‘I saw a gardener while I was waiting for you, and it’s a bloke?’
‘Ah, yes. The mysterious Anton.’
Daniel cocked an eyebrow and leaned back, crossing one leg over the other. ‘Mysterious?’
‘Very mysterious,’ Jake nodded. ‘Claire took him on about four months ago. She’d always intended to have another gardener, but it kept getting postponed for various reasons. Then it, um, became rather imperative. There weren’t many applicants, and out of the ones who applied, she took on Anton. He seems to have a natural gift for gardening, but he won’t say anything about where he comes from, or whether he has family. Friendly enough and gets on well with Claire. Don’t glower, Daniel. Gets on well doesn’t mean interested, okay?’
Daniel’s eyebrows lifted as he gave a short laugh. ‘Was it so obvious?’
‘Your glower? Yeah.’ Jake leaned forward, forearms resting on his thighs.
Daniel still had the canvas he’d started of Jake surfing, and he hoped to go back to his people and sea theme. The long-planned exhibition for this autumn would use paintings from his loft, which he’d done over the years, and which he’d hastily cobbled together since his return from America. Safe ones. Seascapes only, but no people. While away, many of his works had been dark and stormy, purely elemental. Once they arrived from America, maybe some could be used for this exhibition, maybe not. Daniel didn’t care too much. Painting them had helped to re-balance his emotions.
‘Is Claire still living in Gardener’s Cottage?’
‘Yeah, she is.’
A silence fell, but for Daniel, he didn’t feel it was an easy one, despite Jake’s apparent friendliness. He felt he was having to dig for information about Claire out of her brother. Jake was volunteering nothing. He rubbed a hand over his chin, still surprised to feel the soft, dense growth on his face. He could easily shave it off, and liked to keep it clipped pretty short, anyway, but if Claire—his thoughts stumbled to a halt.
‘Is she at home now?’ Daniel abruptly stood. ‘I think the best thing for me to do is go down there myself and face her. I don’t want you brokering a meeting. If I go down, I’ll see how she reacts and if she’s not prepared, I suspect I’ll hear more truth than platitudes.’
‘Good thinking, mate. Yeah, she’s at home.’
Daniel stared at Jake, his brow creasing. There really was something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. ‘Okay. I’ll see you later.’
‘Do you want to borrow a buggy?’
‘No, I’m good, thanks. I’ll walk.’
‘Good luck.’ Jake looked serious. ‘She’s been waiting for you, you know. She’s always been certain you’d come back.’
The two men exchanged a look.
‘I’m sorry it took me so long,’ Daniel finally said.
As he walked down the familiar path towards the small cottage he’d lived in for a month or two, Daniel’s mouth went dry. In a few moments he’d come face to face with Claire and know, once and for all, if she’d forgiven him.
At least he knew she’d waited.
Jake’s voice rang in his ears—she’s always been certain you’d come back.