Let the Darkness In

As we ran through the woods, the eyes of every creature were turned on us - some watching from the open, others watching from behind a tree or rock. Some, like the tree spirits, spun through the branches above, keeping pace - a flicker to the un-trained eye. The occasional deer would bolt and be gone in a second. Every so often, vines and roots would move for me, before I could tumble over them. We had an understanding, built over the years.

We slowed finally, my breath ragged, my throat dry. My skin was clammy and my hands slid from Annan’s. We had come to a halt in a small glade. A small waterfall crashed down onto the rocks beneath and flowed into a river swollen and frothing with heavy rainfall.

Annan shrieked and raced towards it. I followed, slower, catching up with her as she stood on the rocks. I tentatively placed my good foot on the flattest one, letting the other one lightly rest.

“Ready?” Annan asked, her eyes fierce.

In one motion, we both lifted our hands towards the fall of water. Powerful, fast, I let the spirit of the water infuse my being. Every silver fish that swam and leapt beneath the water shared their heartbeat with me. The roar of liquid gallons smashing onto rock drowned out anything else. My lips moved in a familiar rhythm as with Annan, I blessed this beautiful element, thanking it for giving everything around us life.

The water started to glitter, as if sunlight had broken through but glancing up, I still saw menacing clouds and felt unwelcome drizzle. The jewels on the water intensified and then merged into glittering chaos. I had to shield myself from being blinded by throwing an arm over my face.

Tentatively, I opened my eyes. The water was as before, babbling away oblivious. Now it would be protected and bring its sacred life across the land, beyond our vision.

I hadn’t always been able to use my gift. When I was thirteen, I had seen a crushed flower, clinging onto life by its bent stem. I had placed my hands on it and willed it to return fervently. It had obeyed. Lifting its head, I heard its unique song of thanks. Since then, I had asked the creatures of the forest to teach me their secrets. Each with their own magic, I doubted there was any being that knew the songs of the forest better than me.

My stomach grumbled, reminding me painfully that for all my gifts , I was still mortal. Ysymay would be back by now bringing back the spoils from wherever it was that she went.

I moved through the forest greeting the elves who were wandering the forest, the giant elders who moved their gnarled branches at me in greeting.

Sure enough, Ysymay had returned and as I came in through the door, a plate of fresh bread with a knob of butter and cheese was waiting. I tore into it ravenously.

“Here,” Ysymay pulled out a sharp looking combe from her satchel. “Since you refuse to let me cut that mess, this may make you look a little more like a lady.”

Intricate craftsmanship had gone into the making of the combe she held before me.. The bone had been scratched and sharpened and a series of flowers delicately carved into its body. I pushed it through my hair, hearing a snarl and a rip as it battled years worth of knots. But I gritted my teeth and kept working it until finally it performed its magic and it glid through my hair like a cream.

“Much better,” Ysymay said, holding me at arm’s length.

I looked into those large brown eyes, eyes that had been the only human ones I had ever seen. For all my life, those eyes, these hands, that heart had protected me.

“All right you, let me continue to teach you.”

These lessons varied from day to day and they formed around whatever Ysmay picked up on her travels. Some days, the afternoons skipped away into a haze of inky words and we travelled across the lands. I learnt of the last great drought ; a witch’s curse cast over the land for her lover spurning her, of the kings who once ruled the lands beyond the forest. Other times, she would come back with garments that needed mending. So many angry hours were spent drawing blood on the sharp needles. My favourite of all was harnessing the world around me. Flowers were ground to pastes, leaves boiled down to make energizing drinks and others used to dull pain. In these I excelled, possessing an innate understanding of simplicity.

Most of my days passed like this. I had read of women and men and their epic love stories but I only had one love and I was surrounded by it each and every day. I never even considered anything else - the trees were my home.

One afternoon, when the skies were blue but with a nip int the air, I went for a stroll. My hands were stained with dark green and my head spinning from the herbs we had been working with. Breathing in, I hobbled along. I found myself staring down an overgrown thicket. Behind the tumble of leaves and branches, I spied an overgrown path leading to a ring of mighty trees. Bending over, I gently touched some of the branches, asking them to move. I felt the glue that bound them loosen and with a rustle, they parted. My foot stepped on to the forgotten path. This hadn’t been here before…or had it? If it had, it had chosen to stay hidden from me, until now. If it was opening for me, I had to obey.

Even the air here was different; heavy, silent. Nothing else penetrated this place, older than time. Tremors ran through me and I could feel the strength of their roots digging into the Earth.

A shimmer of sound full upon me as the trees seemed to wake up at my intrusion. Ahead of me, a great twisted oak creaked as its leaves lightly danced. I heard an exhalation, a sigh weary with age. Glancing around, I tried to see who else was with me. I was utterly alone.

I took a step closer to the tree as another sigh sounded but was halted. The twisted trunk seemed to expand, the bark twisting and writhing. Suddenly branches exploded outwards and a huge yawn sounded. Three dark rings appeared in the centre of the trunk and in a moment, I had found myself staring into a pair of what looked like eyes. A dark ring swirled with chestnuts and hazel stared back. I didn’t need to see an iris surrounded by lashes to know this thing was every bit as living and breathing as me.

Welcome Siofra.

No one spoke these words through lips or with the tongue. These were words seeping from the great tree and finding their way into my head.

“Who are you?”

You only need to know me as the mother of these woods, as old as they are, born when the first blade of grass grew. I’ve been watching you child and helping you grow.

Each friend I made, each words, each shoot of green magic from my fingertips had not come by chance. Ysymay had taught me that in this world, fate determined your path, and predestined, you could not change it. Fate had brought me to ‘the mother’.

I have seen your future too. Her voice had changed. It had become thick and slow, as if something was making her curl up inside. You must listen to what’s inside you.

Goosebumps ran up and down my fingertips. My heart was racing. What was my future? It was here as guardian of the forest.

There will be a day when only you can stop the darkness.

There was no other reason. This tree was sick. Years of rot and weathering had shattered its soul and left it cracked and clinging on to old stories. None of this mattered to me. I was young girl of sixteen years, with a crippled foot and beetroot stain on her face. This forest was my world. All I saw was that I would live in that cottage for the rest of my life.

I had had enough. Turning my back, I began to stumble quickly away. My hands were sweating and the air had become too thick to breathe.

You will remember these words.

Those final words stuck with me as I plunged homewards, batting at the plants that sought to slow me down. Birds exploded as I crashed through their path and I could see the deer and the elves running alongside me. They were shouting in their sparking language but in that moment, I could not understand. My heart was pounding.

Sweating, panting, shaking, I exploded back into the cottage, missing the stool and crashing down onto the floor. I had no strength to pull myself back and huddled in a ball. What was this thing? What did they know about me. It was nonsense. Some of the potency of the plants we had been working with had addled my brain. But that sick feeling in my gut told me otherwise, told me that perhaps I shouldn’t shake this off so easily.

Everything that lived had a reason to live.

Ysymay found me in the same position when she returned later. Without a word, she hauled me up, pushed me into my bed, tucking the blankets around me. She wiped my forehead with a damp cloth and gently pushed water to my lips.

It was sometime before I came out of my haze.

“What happened out there Siofra?”

I gulped down the lump in my throat. Had I had a fever? No, this was all too real.

“Do you remember what you told me about fate?”