Let the Darkness In

For days afterwards I skulked around the hut, not daring to go outside, convinced that the mother would be stood outside the boundary, travelling in the cover of darkness to preside over me. Once I left the safety of these wooden walls, her eyes would be upon me. For the last two nights, I had woken sweating from dreams in which branches wrapped around me, choking.

I had swept the floor until there was not a crumb in sight. I had cleared the fireplace after every meal. I had shaken out my bedding and sorted the paraphernalia of bottles and pots till they were lined up by height. The cottage was sparkling.

There was only so much hiding one could do, a realisation I painfully made after a week inside four walls. I needed air on my face, I needed to wash away everything in one of the pools. Steeling myself, I wrapped my cloak around me and placed a hand on the door.

A tunnel of wind rushed over me, invigorating and wild. I let it rush through my hair, tingle over my cheeks and flow into my dusty lungs. The shadow that had been stifling me lifted. Let her watch. I would prove that she was just a rambling rotting piece of the forest. I would live my own life the way I wanted to.

As I was approaching my pool, I heard a faint sound carried to me through the leaves and trees. Battling the fight-or-flight instinct, I hesitated. At that moment, two dark shapes lumbered towards me. I dashed sideways, tripping over my useless foot and crashing down. Hissing, I manipulated the tangle of roots and leaves around me to form a cover of foliage. My breathing was thick and heavy and all I could do was hope that my little fiasco hadn’t attracted attention.

Thuds sounded as sturdy boots landed on the dirt. From my hiding place, I wiggled to try and get a better vantage point.

These were beings like me. I searched for some tell-tale horns or wings, or a snout. Nothing. They could have been me except I didn’t feel that small tingle I felt when around others with my abilities.

They were two males, one with dark eyes glinting in a face with a dark beard. His broad shoulders worked beneath a cloth jacket and shirt, stained and well-used. The other was younger, slimmer...his son maybe. He was clean-shaven with a leaner face. I watched as they shifted two wicked-looking axes from their shoulders and strode over to a strong young tree. Some muttered communication passed between them and then they made the first blow.

The screams of the soaring pillar reverberated around my head. Each blow dug into my skin. I squirmed, unable to rush in front of the men. I had no doubt they would cut me down in an instant.

Placing the palms of my hands down on the earth, I willed the roots that dug underneath to move. Mud shook as they obeyed. I watched as they slowly inched under the men’s boots, curling around the tree in a defiant barrier.

With a cry, the older man dropped his axe and took a step back, his eyes wildly looking around. A slow smile formed on my lips. The younger one stood staring at the roots as they twisted around. Finally, I let go and the roots became just another part of the forest once more.

“Come on Caleb, there is witchcraft in these woods and it seems we ain’t welcome.” He picked up his axe, his eyes all the while darting to and fro. Caleb took one last look at the tree and the ground and shook his head slightly.

“Next time we stay closer to the village,” the older man muttered, striding back from the direction they had come - the direction of the village. My heart quickened as they walked away. So there were other people nearby. Actual humans like me.

I felt exuberant, tingles running up and down my spine. I no longer had to be alone. This was where Ysymay must have gone every day. It was so simple, I thought as I headed homeward, praying Ysymay was home. I would follow her next time and by her side would get to meet everyone.

Well, that was the idea.

“Ysymay, I have seen the others, people like me!” I yelled, hurling myself at her. She was in the garden, tending to one of the vegetable beds. As the words left my lips, she gasped, letting the basket in her hand crash to the floor. Freshly rooted potatoes and cabbages were flung in all directions. A hollow carved itself in my stomach as I saw her face, bringing me crashing down.

“Where? Where?” she yelled, putting her hands on my shoulders and shaking me.

“They’ve gone!”

Her hands relaxed their vulture-like grip on me but firmly steered me back inside the four protective walls.

“I can come with you next time,” I piped up, my mind thinking of all the wonderful possibilities. “And I can talk to people, meet people my own age. I can -”

“No, you will not.” Icy eyes were fixed on me, unblinking.

“I- I…”

“You cannot come with me Siofra. I have hidden this world from you and you from them for sixteen years for a reason. You must stay here.”

“But they’re just like me….” I breathed, feeling the prickle of tears in my eyes. I felt like someone had punched a hole in my chest and was now trying to rip my heart out.

“Siofra,” Ysymay’s tone had become gentler now. She came to stand before me, pulling me into an embrace. I let her, but my arms hung by my sides. “These people...they don’t like anyone who is different. They hate magic, if they saw any of the nymphs you play with, they will kill.”

“But I don’t need to show my magic….I don’t have to use it. And I look no different from the rest of them!”

Ysymay’s shoulders moved up and down in a sigh. “Your foot….they see it as a mark of someone who is cursed. And your face…”

My face. As if the useless foot wasn’t enough, some god, in their infinite kindness has bestowed on me a smear of strawberry red. It dominated my left side, from underneath my eye and bleeding down to my jaw.

“Your face -” Yymay continued, “your face is another sign the devils have chosen you. They will not tolerate your presence.”

Her jaw was steel, her eyes iron.

Gritting my jaw, I let her arms continue to hold me but I was numb, inside and out.

That night, as I listened to her snoring, I knew my innocence was gone. I couldn’t wander about in the forest knowing that Ysymay and I were the only ones of our kind. I would reach that village, one way or another. There was no following Ysyamy. For all her sixty years, she was in the best of health, with eyes like an eagle and hearing like a fox.

For now, let her believe she had crushed the rebellious spirit. I would not let her know it was burning just as brightly.

The next few weeks passed by and all knowledge of the other world, of the other people seemed to fade. With time, Ysymay visibly relaxed. No attempts were made to plead or grovel, or follow her into the woods. Before she left each morning, she checked to make sure I was still sound asleep. For the most part, I didn’t need to fool her. It was only once or twice I was awake and caught her peeking.

In truth, I was just as keen as ever to get there but without following Ysyamy, I did not know the way. I could do what I always had done - keep walking and see where I ended. It was how I learnt the map of the forest but I had never found a way out. Something which Ysymay probably had had a hand in.

Every day, I hobbled to the spot where I had first met the men, hoping someone would return. After a few days of sitting, waiting, with the occasional fawn or nymph coming to keep me company, I knew I had to try a new approach. Casting my mind back, I began to trudge in the direction the men had come. The trees remained the same as ever. I did not know what I was expecting but I would know when I saw it.

Another week passed, and I began to push the boundaries further and further. I had to make sure I was home before Ysyamay, cool and calm, not sweating and panting. I began to leave only an hour or so after Ysyamy left, the time slowly growing less and less.

Finally, I came to a spot where human hands had been at work. Stumps dotted the area like broken teeth pushing up through the ground. The foliage had been hacked at and a clear dirt path had been trodden into the forest where it was quickly lost. I could feel the absence of life like a void.

My heart started pounding as I found a spot, calling on the forest as before to come and shield me. As I sat in my cocoon, I felt my heart soar. This was it. I sat listening to the birds around me and watched the squirrels dart around their playground of trees.

“Mother said we shouldn’t come out here!” I sat bolt upright. Two small figures merged out of the sunlight that backed them. Tiny. Much smaller than the two men who had come before. From their voices, they sounded like children. As they slowly edged deeper into the forest, I saw they couldn’t have been more than twelve. Brother and sister, evident from the same thick blonde hair. They passed within touching distance and I could see the glint in their blue eyes.

The young girl was skipping, oblivious to anything or anything. I knew there were creatures out here that would snap this girl up in an instant.

“Remember what Caleb was saying...mother said not…”

“Oh shush Skopora. Staying in the cottage all day is boring.”

Here was a girl after my own heart.

A loud crack sounded nearby and a flock of startled birds streamed upwards. Squinting, I could see a small pair of yellow eyes staring back, hovering above a dark face with wicked fangs that appeared as the goblin saw me. They didn’t normally come out until dusk but the lure of fresh prey had brought this one crawling from his hole. A growl reverberated.

His greedy eyes flicked back to the children and a tongue ran around his teeth. The children were stood stock still, staring ahead, poised. They hadn’t seen him yet. But they had heard him. The little girl started whimpering, burying her face in her brother’s shirt.

“Let’s go home,” he said, taking small steps backward.

Don’t turn your back, don’t turn it boy.