Let the Darkness In

Jarrett paused in the middle of the road, listening, half turned towards the noise. I slipped behind a tree trunk, not knowing who this was and whether they were friend or foe.

A column of armoured men swung into view with familiar colours. As my heart sank, Jarrett’s soared and he limped towards them, shouting greetings. The column halted at this ragged man approaching, but as the gap closed and the soldiers came nearer, I saw their recognition.

And then a figure detached itself from the column and sprinted forward. Her skirts flapped at her legs and her blonde hair flew behind her. It was over. I turned as quietly as I could, slinking away into the undergrowth. But my mind was whirring and blurred, and I was weak. I didn’t see the tree stump hidden under the moss. My foot hit its solid bulk and I went flying.

Over the ringing in my ears, I heard a shout and the chink of men running fast. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw red and gold making a beeline for me. My eyes flicked to Jarrett who was just watching, but who was also being held by his betrothed. I was on my own.

Sobbing, I picked myself up and crashed through the forest. I willed for help but the forest, like me, was trying to recover and I could sense its fatigue like a sickness. It could do nothing either.

The men were pounding behind me, I could hear their heavy breaths and feel the reverberations of their mailed feet on the packed earth. And I knew there was nothing left for me.

I just let my knees sink, my head fall and I just waited. Rough hands hauled me up by the shoulders. Everything was a fuzzy haze. All the ache and worry had slipped away as resignation settled over me like a mantle. The coarse rope was tied around my hands, chafing my wrists instantly, and my body was pulled behind horses as the group moved away. A few times I surfaced from the suffocating daze, my eyes boring into Jarrett’s back. His body remained tense, his shoulders.

It wasn’t long from the forest to the castle where I knew my story would end. The people welcomed their prince back into the city with a lukewarm reception, me even less. Mouldy fruit, stinking and wet slapped against me, stinging my cheeks and caking me with gunk. They had every reason to. It wasn’t difficult to hate the witch who had stolen their future.

We moved through the city to the castle and I winced as the iron gate slammed down behind us. There was no way out. Some words were exchanged between Isobel and a guard of the castle and I was dragged towards a gatehouse tower. One look of my shoulder, hoping to catch Jarrett looking back...nothing. He simply took Isobel’s hand and headed towards the castle. It was she who turned and gave me a chilling smile.

I was hauled into darkness, down some stairs and into the forgotten dungeons. Overwhelming oppression seeped from the dank walls. It smelt of mould, human faces, rat droppings and despair. A cell door squealed open and I was shoved inside...I fell forward, landing face down onto a pile of limp, dirty straw.

Pushing myself up, I crawled whimpering to a corner and sat against the wall, huddling my knees to my chest and folding my arms around them.

I closed my eyes, hoping that when I woke, this was all a bad dream. Or that I never woke at all.

When I did wake up, I started, forgetting where I was. It came flooding back, and I closed my eyes. I fell into sleep where I was not quite there but with the tip of my finger crossing into a hazy realm.

I woke again to the sounds of heavy, nailed boots on the stairs. A broad man jangled some keys from his belt and opened the gate. He jerked his head with unmistakable meaning. I rose to my feet, balancing my weight so I did not collapse. Holding my head high, I walked past. He grabbed my elbow and whirled me around, using a short bit of rope to tie my hands behind my back.

He shoved me forward and we walked up the stairs. Everything seemed to be a little wonky and the ground uneven. The guard was holding me upright by the time we emerged into the bailey. The sunlight hit my eyes like daggers and I staggered.

We moved slowly to the doors of the castle and into the great hall. A row of stern faces greeted me, one who meant or had meant, more than anything in the world to me. The other was the woman who I would always remember as playing a role in my death.

I was placed in front of them, standing upright. Soon, my knees started to buckle and I bit my tongue, using the shock to keep me upright. Warm blood dribbled down my chin.

“Someone get her a stool.”

It was placed under me just in time.

Before me, a haze of pale ovals danced. Their voices sounded like we were underwater I was aware of the rising intonation that signalled questions but my lips were dry and cracked and padlocked. There was a time when I would have stood and fought for my defence, but not now.

My soul was shattered and I had left my heart in the forest.

It was over in what felt like a matter of moments and arms once again hauled me out of the room like a sack of wheat. I was tossed back into the cell. And as I returned to my position against the wall, the tears meandered down my cheeks.

They brought me food and water which I barely touched. When I did it, the bread was tasteless, and I couldn’t swallow. I watched the moon rise and fall above my head and lost count of the days.

Once again, the footsteps came and every single hair on my body rose. Shakily standing up, I backed against the grimy wall. They would take me standing this time. It was the same guard who had been ferrying me to and fro like I was cattle. As he took my arms, I saw a flash of pity, a flicker which was just as quickly gone.

The sunlight was like razors in my eyes and I staggered. When the guard pushed me upright, all feeling in my legs went and he ended up scooping me up. I felt the warm body and the beat of his heart. This is what I imagined it felt like to be a small child.

I wasn’t aware of the people until I was thrown onto a horse. Another pair of unfamiliar arms surrounded me, smelling sour and unwashed. I let my head flop forward and closed my eyes. I had no idea where I was going but I had a gut feeling that very soon, I would be sleeping for all eternity.

We headed out of the city; I felt the shadow of the walls lift away for the last time. The smell of the open air, of the pines of the forest and the rich earthy scent, after it had rained bought a smile to my face. Whichever way I was going to be, at least it was surrounded by nature.

I felt the horse huff up an incline and my head snapped up. Yes. Sure enough, there were the gallows looming above me. My stomach dropped and was swallowed by the ground beneath me. But there was no one by the gallows. A small huddle of people were surrounding a new structure nearby.

When I saw what it was, a dark haze passed over me.

A single pole had been shoved deep into the boggy, saturated ground. Bundles of twigs lay piled heavily around it. Well, at least it would be quick. My eyes rose to face those of my condemners. That there was anybody here to watch was a surprise. Isobel. As expected. Some beak-nosed man who I vaguely recognised from the trial. Ainesilver. I did a double-take. She was there alright and her eyes were red-rimmed. And Jarrett. As my eyes met his, I prayed for a sliver of forgiveness in them. There was nothing. He was concealing everything from me. And right by his shoulder, an unmissable smoky presence.

In a moment, I turned away. We walked down the pathway leading directly to my death. Numbly, I let someone tie my hands behind the pyre. Once again the tears were flowing, but my heart was pumping like it was about to explode out of my chest. I could just about see the figures above the stacked woods. Jarrett.

Then the tears started to fall, I couldn’t breathe and I was sweating like the fires had already been lit.

“Jarrett!” I screamed, thrashing and tugging. “I just wanted to be like you, I didn’t want to be different.” Words were becoming harder and harder above the rawness of my throat and the dancing of spots. “When I met you, I fell in love. I tried to escape, I tried to protect you. If you stay here, you will die!”

A heavy silence fell, unnerving after my roars.

But they had fallen on deaf ears and I saw the flicker of a torch make its way towards the rushes. One touch and the branches before me leapt into flame. Their warmth was comforting to begin with. Closing my eyes, I remembered Ainesilver’s hearth and the warm pie in my hands.

It grew hotter and hotter, black smoke pouring through my lungs until my chest was tight and my throat closing up. The flames to my left leapt onto my skin and an intense sear began. My cheek began to be stretched and warped, molten fire cracking and peeling it open. I let out a silent scream.

The only thing holding me up was my bound hands but they too were blistered and sizzling. Then they were free, soaring down with a heaviness that bought my body collapsing down

I was being carried home after playing in the forest. I was only little, my legs were not used to long distances.

I was sat down and a warm cloak thrown over me. The water stung against my lips but I lapped up what I could. Soon Ysmay would put me to bed.

“Let’s get out of here,” a voice that was most certainly not Ysymay’s whispered in my ears.

The horse leapt free and the movement jolted me into senselessness.

I woke, expecting prison walls and a cold floor, but instead, I was lying on something soft and the smell of home was all around me. Soft hands were smoothing something deliciously cool against my skin.

Opening my eyes was a challenge. They were sticky and swollen. When I did manage to open them, I saw Jarrett through blurry vision, bending over me. I had never seen that look on his face, so tender, so open.

“You,” I croaked.

“Hello Siofra,” he whispered.

Sitting up too fast, a rush of blood came to my head and I turned to the side, throwing up bile. Turning back to Jarrett, I said, “Where are the others, the fire.”

“Forget about them.” Jarrett’s eyes were shining with tears which now made their escape. “You did what you could to protect me. I still need you so I’m going to protect you.”

“What about your kingdom, your war?”

“A war for a throne is not justice. A war for people to belong is. Together, we can make things right.” He stared into my eyes and then they moved to my stomach. “The three of us.”

Inside, I felt the sapling take root.

The End