Let the Darkness In

When darkness fell, I said my last goodbyes. Armed with a satchel of food, a small knife and the thickest cloak Ysymay had, I clasped my mother goodbye. “I’ll see you soon,” I whispered but deep down, I knew I would never return to this forest.

As I closed the gate, I didn’t turn back. My courage was already on a knife’s edge, and turning back would have made me hesitate, perhaps even stop and face the wrath of Medb. But that was my old life - a life where I would hide forever.

I walked back through the forest in a daze. Some of my old friends caught up with me and I bid them farewell. Eager faces crowded around me, asking where I was off to.

“To see the world!” I said with a false brightness. It fooled them, but not me.

I finally reached the arranged spot. For a while, I paced up and down, then dumped the satchel as my shoulder was starting to ache. I sat, I stood, I wandered.

I began to think she would not come. Perhaps it really all had been a dream, perhaps my mind had found a way to trick me into a different life, an escape. Gnawing on my lip, I contemplated heading back home and forgetting the whole thing.

As I picked up my bag, having made my mind up, I felt the stifling cloak settle. The hoot of the owls vanished, the cool breeze stopped and the air became thick. She was here.

I turned, feeling the ice trickle down my spine.

“Hello Medb.”

“So you have figured out who I am Siofra.”

“I know your story. You were right - we both have the same tale to tell.”

White teeth shone in the faint moonlight.

“So we have a deal?”

“We have a deal. I want to be treated with respect. I want humans to bow down to our kind,” my voice was coming out in a hiss and I found I was shaking with emotion. The story of Medb, the bruises on my body...this was totally and utterly my decision.

A silver blade glinted and I stumbled back. My breath started coming in short gasps. I didn’t expect to die as part of the bargain.

“Just a blood oath child. Here.” The blade moved over Medb’s pale forearm and I saw the dark dribble of blood - I was unsure whether hers ran black. The blade was held to me. I snatched it and did the same. Medb’s forearm connected with mine and words were whispered. It was a language I didn’t understand but was one of utter hate, of utter darkness.

I choked as my body was wrapped in a constriction. Every organ was being crushed, my lungs feeling like they were being filled with sticky tar. I struggled to breathe, seeing stars dance in front of my eyes.

As sudden as it came, the feeling was gone and Medb’s forearm lifted. I raised mine and saw a tiny scar had already formed, scaly and black.

“You will travel to Briorix. I will be with you when I can. Follow me.”

It was hard work keeping up with the shadow as she moved. I managed to keep up, just, by listening for her footfall. As I darted and wove through the paths she moved across with ease, I wondered whether she was an apparition, a projection or the real goddess. Was she a ghost? Our arms had made solid contact, and her feet were landing with full thuds. But she wasn’t quite here, hovering between two worlds.

Whatever form she had taken, I didn’t want to discover the damage she could do.

We moved through the woods and her dark aura seemed to keep everything away. I could feel the forest trembling, could feel the fast pulsing hearts of the rats and mice as they hid.

Don’t do this Siofra. The voice was incredibly faint. Looking around, there was no one in sight. Medb showed no signs of having heard. I shook it off. It was my own conscience but it was too late. I had made an oath sealed in blood.

After hours stumbling through the woods, Medb recognised I needed to rest.

Get some sleep and rest. I will wake you in a few hours.

I was left with the darkness of night.

I wormed my way between two roots of a great tree,finding the soft packed earth to lay down on. My head fell to the floor and I was out.

My dreams haunted me. I saw a great crowd hitting and beating a woman, dragging her out of a hut. I watched as her hair and clothes were torn, blows raining down on her. My own body started to ache and buck as that day in the village came back. Then she was dragged to a great pyre that had been crudely assembled. As red-hot flakes crackled towards her, the woman’s face started directly at me. Medb. Her eyes turned completely black as her tongue spat out words.

I travelled high into the sky, the village and the woman shrinking into invisibility. Then I saw a tapestry of green fields, rich with crops. As I watched, they began to shrink and disintegrate. The emerald faded to yellows and browns. An entire landscape was destroyed in that instant.

More images followed, thick, fast, too fast for me to make out features clearly. A prince. A preacher of kinda learning to an eager crowd about the sins of magic, a command from a bearded man with a gold crown glinting on his forehead.

I woke with a jolt. Medb was standing over me. Moonlight had skipped through the trees and her face was illuminated once more. The silver light hit her cheek and for a moment, I saw her for who she had once been. Soft, warm, beautiful. A woman who cared for her people. I felt my heart twist slightly and a prickle of tears come to my eyes.

What had the world done to her? And what would it do to me once it discovered my magic?

Iron determination clamped me.

Without saying a word, I knew Medb was reading my mind. With a jerk of her head, she indicated it was time to move again.

I ate some of the bread I had packed as I walked, tearing at the loaf with my teeth. We walked through the rest of the night and into the day. The darkness faded into dove grey and it seemed to me that the figure of Medb began to flicker.

We halted as the first rays of the sun lit up the sky. Medb halted and turned to face me. She was becoming more and more transparent with the day. “I cannot continue with you.”

I glanced around, taking in my surroundings . We were in a part of the forest I did not know. Even the air felt strange and new. Glancing around, I noticed the trees were beginning to thin and more and more undergrowth seemed to be taking over.

“Continue south. There will be some villages and civilization along the way. Treat them as you will.”

I swallowed, realising that now I was totally alone.

“I am still weak so only will be able to visit when you call me.”

“How do I do that?”

She smiled. “We are one Siofra. You will know how when the time comes.”

I opened my mouth for more questions but found myself staring at at empty space. With an exhalation, I adjusted my pack and moved south.

It was a cool autumn day, grey clouds scudding overhead. A breeze had picked up, not chilling, but brisk and refreshing. Wind was my favourite; the sun could burn with a ruthlessness and rain was miserable and persistent but the wind rushed on my face and bought vitality.

The trees grew thinner and thinner until up ahead, I could see a vast expanse of green. My footsteps slowed - I was about to leave the last semblance of the life I had known behind. I finally halted with my foot inches away from stepping on the meadow. Before me, for miles all I could see was green fields and hedges that undulated through the landscape.

A wave of dejavu came over me. This was exactly how I had stood before I entered the village. That had turned out splendidly. Here was a whole world of those villagers, beyond the meadows. My fingers ran over the scar. Whatever happened, I couldn’t go back now.

Steeling myself and ignoring the scream of my instincts, I took the first wobbly step. Then the next. Then the next. My feet found their rhythm and I began to warm to my surroundings. As long as it was just me and the fields, this wasn’t so bad.

Every so often I had to stop, my foot crying out for rest. It wasn’t used to such long treks and was starting to throb. My progress slowed and I realised the adrenaline rush that had kept me going for so long was slowly fading. The castle lay in the middle of the kingdom but right now, it seemed to be at the edge of the world.