Let Me Love You

“You’re absolutely certain no one knows you came to see me about the files?” I may have been talking to Jesse, but I couldn’t rip my focus away from Maria inside the private hangar at the Charlotte Douglas Airport. She was talking to her sister, and they were exchanging a few words before we boarded my family’s jet. From the moment we’d shared that Maria was coming with me, Natalia had been trying to convince her to stay. I prayed she could, since I’d been unsuccessful.

“No one, aside from my teammates, is aware I came to you. And before you ask, yes, I trust them all with my life. Hell, with my wife’s life.” Jesse paused, probably waiting for my attention. “The only thing I can think of is someone was keeping tabs on the cleaner, and they picked up on the fact there was a breach. They’d have to be one paranoid SOB to do that. But still, why come after you? That’d only tip you off something is fucked up.”

I surrendered my focus his way. “I considered that, too. And if the attack this morning is connected to the cleaner’s list, that means the real killer is more than likely someone I know. And they’re aware of what I’m capable of if I learn what happened to Bianca.”

“Which is either stupid on their part to give you the heads-up shit is about to hit the fan, or they have an ulterior motive in wanting you to know.”

Fuck if I know what to think right now. “In the meantime, I need the name. I don’t care what Carter wants.”

Jesse frowned. “Even once we track the cleaner down, there’s no guarantee they know who hired them. They kept meticulous records of their jobs, and yet, no names.”

“And why keep those records in the first place unless—”

“It’s also his insurance policy against who hired him,” Jesse finished for me.

Him? Well, I was getting somewhere. The cleaner was a man. Now if I could get a name, that’d be great. “If his clients have power and money, they wouldn’t want any loose ends, and he’d be one of them. He must know that, so he has a way to protect himself from being eliminated as well.”

“He knows someone is after him now, and if word gets out his files have been compromised, if it hasn’t already, he’s going to have a lot of people looking to put a cap in his ass before he can turn on them. Insurance policy or not, they’ll take their chances.”

Maria had given me until Sunday, but I doubted the cleaner had that long, which meant I had to do what I did best. Go hunting. And hopefully get to them before they came after me again. “So . . . his name?”

“It’s not just about my team’s concern that you’ll go rogue and try and get to him yourself.” Jesse’s slight scowl didn’t do wonders for my nerves. “Carter doesn’t like your brother. He didn’t tell me why, but he said there’s beef there, and he doesn’t want to work with him on this.”

I know why. No time to discuss that now. “I can’t keep my brother out of this, especially not after some mafioso showed up at my apartment this morning.”

“But if I tell you this guy’s name, it’s my head, and—”

“And you knew that before you came to the restaurant last night,” I reminded him. “You could’ve waited, but you didn’t.”

“Look, I want us to work together.” He looked past me in the direction of Maria and Natalia. “Give me a few hours to convince my team to bring you into the fold.” He held up a palm as if knowing I was seconds away from protesting. “If it’s a no from them, then I’ll go ahead and give you his name and deal with the consequences from Carter.”

I considered the options. And beating the information from an old friend right now wasn’t one of them. “You didn’t invite me to the wedding,” I said instead, knowing he’d understand my lack of arguing about the cleaner was an answer.

Jesse ran his hand across his mouth. “It wasn’t exactly a normal situation. We had to fake the whole getting-married bit, but then we decided to turn in the paperwork later so it was legit.”

“Fake marriage, huh?”

“That’s a story for another day.” He semismiled, putting eyes on Maria, her sister, and Ryan. “Do your brothers know she’s coming?”

“Not yet.”

“No chance your father’s past has anything to do with what happened to Bianca? Your dad’s old organization has had quite the shake-up lately.”

“I don’t think he’s involved, but I’m not ruling anyone or anything out,” I shared, thinking about the change in leadership in Sicily. A woman now ran things there, and from what I knew, she was solid and deserved the role. Married Irish, which turned a few heads and ruffled quite a lot of old-school Italian feathers.

“I really am sorry I had to drop this on you. But I won’t leave you hanging.” Jesse extended his hand, and his ring caught my eye. That circle of damn hope I’d never thought possible for me.

“Yeah, I trust you.” I slapped his hand with mine; then we said our goodbyes before I started for the jet, anxious to take off, but not so eager to do so with two bodyguards on board. Constantine was paranoid and overprotective to think I’d need escorts while up in the sky.

I sent a quick text to my brothers about the change in plans.

Me: Let Mom know I’ll have a plus-one at dinner tonight.

Alessandro was quick to respond, and I reread his punch-to-the-gut words.

Alessandro: Have you lost your mind? You want to put her in harm’s way? Why?

He was right. I had lost my mind.

Constantine: We can keep her safe. If he wants her with him, then so be it.

I wasn’t expecting that answer from Constantine, and part of me had hoped my eldest brother would knock some sense into me, because he was probably the only one I’d listen to. Well, aside from Maria, so it would seem.

Me: Can you have my car waiting for me at the airport? I want to swing by my place to grab some stuff before I head to Mom and Dad’s.

Constantine: Yeah, but there’s been a change in plans for this unexpected family reunion. We’re going to stay at our place in Oyster Bay instead. It’s more secure.

Me: You’re making sure Izzy is coming, too, right?

Constantine: Of course. But she’s bringing her boyfriend.

Alessandro: Boyfriend? She does realize we’re all going to interrogate him, right?

Constantine: I promised we wouldn’t. Only way I could get her to agree.

Alessandro: Fuck that. I didn’t promise.

Constantine: Focus that anger elsewhere, like on finding Bianca’s killer.

Alessandro: Yeah, sure. And hell, if this is turning into a party, I should bring a plus-one, too.

Constantine: Be serious.

Alessandro: You know me. Humor and copious amounts of sex are my coping mechanisms. Well, so the shrink says.

Since when did he see a therapist?

Constantine: We need to focus. Did Jesse give you the name?

Me: Not yet. I’ll have it by this evening, though.

Constantine’s slow reply meant he regretted not flying down to get the information from Jesse himself.

Constantine: I’ll find Carter and get it from him if I have to.

From the sound of it, that wasn’t a fight I was eager to see. And we needed to be on the same side. Jesse was right.

I looked over at Maria, and her eyes met mine. That sinking feeling in my stomach came back.

Me: Tell me one more time I’m not crazy for bringing her with me.

Alessandro: I can’t do that. You are.

Constantine: Just do what you think is right. You always do.

What I always do? That would be the opposite of bringing Maria with me today. I pocketed my phone, unsure if I really knew what was the right decision. But Maria somehow had me breaking my own rules at every turn. And after that kiss this morning—

“You’re sure about this?” Ryan asked, cutting off my thoughts.

“No, I’m not,” I honestly shared, which had Maria shooting me a death stare. “But she’s a pain in the ass, so I guess she’s coming whether I want her to or not.” And I wanted to spank that woman’s ass for this, too.

“If anything happens to her,” was all Ryan said, and it was all he needed to say. There’d be hell to pay across the board if so much as a hair was touched on her head.

“I don’t think you should go, but I know I can’t stop you.” Natalia pulled Maria in for a hug, careful not to smash her pregnant belly, and then Ryan hugged her next. “A quick word alone, please?” Natalia tugged my arm.

“I’d expect nothing less,” I said as I followed her away from the others.

“She’s persuasive.” Natalia cut to the point. “But you’re not one to roll over for anyone. And all I know is that when I came over this morning, my sister was wearing only your T-shirt. Did you two sleep together last night?”

Shit. “No, we didn’t have sex.” I held my forehead for a moment, unprepared for that question. “You should talk to Maria about this stuff, though.”

“Just keep her safe, okay?”

“That’s a given.” I smoothed my palm along my jawline.

“And don’t break her heart.” She gave me her signature stern look. “Promise?”

I swallowed, tense at the idea of ever hurting Maria in any way. Not knowing what to say, I kept my mouth shut, and I did my best to nod. Natalia gave me a quick hug, and we made our way back over to the group. We then said our goodbyes and boarded the jet.

The two bodyguards, who didn’t look all too impressive, were strapped in near the cockpit, leaving a few rows of space between where Maria and I sat. Thankfully, the jet didn’t have a bedroom on board. If it did, I’d probably drag Maria in there and spend the flight distracting myself between her thighs, torturing her with my tongue . . .

Fuck, now I wanted to add “join the mile-high club” to that list of hers.

She buckled in across from me in the leather bucket seat and said, “The last time I was on a plane was six years ago heading home from New York. I guess I need to travel more.”

And damn, I hoped one day I’d be able to take her all over the world. Show her every place she’d only read about in books to experience for herself.

“Everything will be okay,” I said once we took off, my attention trailing along her outfit. She had on black jeans with a fitted thin red turtleneck.

She fidgeted with the neck of her top, pulling at it just enough that I could spot a bruise there.

Did I do that? Hell, I probably would’ve marked more of her body in my bedroom earlier had Natalia and Ryan not been in the living room.

Maria nervously combed her fingers through her thick, curly dark hair. Knowing we were having dinner with my parents later, she’d demanded the chance to shower and freshen up before we left for the airport.

Gripping the chair arms, she locked her eyes with mine, and her tongue swept along the line of her lips.

“If you keep looking at me like that, I’ll need to throw those two men from the plane,” I said. We’d only just taken off, maybe they’d survive the fall?

“Really? Why?”

Because I wanted to sink my teeth into her skin. Mark her again, which was a special kind of fucked up, and I didn’t care. Her knees pinned together as her other hand clutched her leg, and I couldn’t help but bite my lower lip. Oh, my girl knew why.

I leaned in closer, cocking an eyebrow. “Can’t have other men looking at you while you come, now can I?”

She swallowed back a small moan, and damn if I didn’t wish it was my mouth hiding the sound instead. I was trying to behave, since we weren’t alone, and trying to not totally become the man I was before Charlotte. Because that man would’ve taken her how he wanted on the jet regardless of the eyes on us.

That man would’ve spread her out on the couch off to our left, fallen to his knees, and tossed her legs over his shoulders while sinking his mouth over her pussy.

But this was Maria, and like hell would I let any other man see her naked or hear her soft moans of pleasure while she came.

“I’m not kidding, sweetheart,” I murmured in a low voice, my patience gone at this point. My control had snapped in half as of this morning.

The only question now was when I’d be taking her and where.

“Do not look at me like that. You need to stop tempting me. Because I want to punish you for doing this to me. For making me bring you along for this fucked-up ride that you should be as far away from as possible,” I warned once we were at cruising altitude, but for whatever reason, I only seemed to provoke desire from her. Not fear.

She wet her lips as her dainty hand circled her throat. “Far away from the danger? Or away from you?”

“I am the danger,” I bluntly said. “You know exactly why you shouldn’t be on this plane. You’re looking at the reason.”

“What I’m looking at is a man who thinks he’s not worthy of love. That he doesn’t have a full heart to give because he lost his twin sister. Lost his other half,” she softly said, and her words had my chest tightening. “But that man does deserve it. And your sister would want that for you.” She unbuckled. “Now, excuse me while I use the restroom.” Shit, were those tears in her eyes?

I snatched her wrist once she was in the aisle, and her gaze flashed to where I held her, but I reluctantly released her.

My eyes closed, and I sat back, trying to dismantle the intrusive thoughts that warred with each other. Like always. The good and the bad. The dark and the light. Without Bianca, I’d lost sight of the other side for so long.

I hadn’t always been like this. After the first life I took in the army, it’d been Bianca there for me. Helping me get a handle on my guilt. We’d spent hours on the phone that night. And I’d had to convince myself the boy I’d killed had been eighteen, because if he’d been younger, I would’ve totally broken the fuck down.

Unsure how long I’d been lost in my thoughts of the past, I finally opened my eyes, discovering Maria back in her seat. There were questions she wanted to ask me, I could feel it. And why wouldn’t there be? I’d kept so much of myself from her. I’d thought it was to protect her from the ugliness of my past, but maybe I was just scared she’d see me differently, and I’d lose her forever.

“Will you tell me the truth now?” Maria’s soft request had me surrendering a deep breath. “Or you could give it to me in three acts,” she suggested while I continued to contemplate what to do. “You know, like the beginning, middle, and end of a book. Tell me the first part now. Reveal the rest when you’re ready?”

“Or when you’re ready, you mean? Because maybe you’re not prepared to hear how truly messed up I am.”

She fidgeted with the seat belt, taking her time to respond. “The prologue for right now is fine,” was all she said.

“You really want me to go that far back? All the way to Italy?” After her hesitant nod, I crossed my ankle over my knee, holding it while looking toward the window. I thought back to the story my parents had told us when we were old enough to understand, not too long before I’d given up my dream of culinary school at Dad’s insistence to join the army. “It all starts with my father.”

“And?” That tentative little word drew my eyes back to her.

“An organization was created in Europe to fight crime. Off-the-books stuff. My father was part of the Italian division, which is how he met my mom.” I didn’t need to get into the details, but she’d get the idea. “And her father was in the mafia. Well, not just in it. The head of the crime family.”

“Oh, so a Romeo and Juliet thing?”

“I guess you could say that, and this kind of love story between rivals is more common than anyone cares to admit.” Well, so my parents always told us. “When my mom was only twenty, a criminal organization kidnapped her. And before her family could pay the ransom to get her back, my dad rescued her. Her family didn’t know they’d been secretly dating for months.”

“I take it that her family wasn’t a fan of him.”

“No, they didn’t make it easy for her to walk away, but my father and the organization he worked for didn’t give them a choice once my parents announced their marriage.”

“What happened after that?” she softly asked.

“The mafia feared my father and his organization, and with good reason. My dad had earned a reputation. He was known as Il Santo, the Saint.”

“A savior?”

“Not exactly,” I admitted. “More like a man prepared to take your soul to hell if you crossed the line.”

“So why’d your parents leave Italy?”

“Mom had four kids. Was pregnant with her fifth. She told my father it was time to change. Start over. And then Izzy was born once they were in New York, and my dad worked on building his business empire, saying goodbye to his old life.”

“He did it for love,” she whispered.

A surprising smile met my lips, and it softened her full mouth into one as well. “And then my mother’s cousin, Giovanni, moved to New York to run the Sicilian division of the Italian mafia.” Based on her confused look, I figured I’d better elaborate a bit more. “Things have changed over the years, but usually there are about five main families within the Italian American mafia.”

“Like a gangs-of-New-York-type thing? And no, I don’t mean like the movie. Although, I did watch a few episodes of The Sopranos. I want to say I vaguely remember something about mafia families being mentioned. But overall, my knowledge is limited.”

I smothered a smile with my hand at her rambling, which I found adorable. I wished we weren’t talking about reality. My fucking reality. “The families all have much less control now than they did in the old days, but I suppose all you need to know is when my mother’s cousin came to New York, my father threatened him. If he wanted to stay stateside, he’d have to run his crime syndicate differently than the other mafia families. No trafficking of any kind. Drugs, people, animals. No murdering or hurting innocents.”

“And he behaved?” she asked in shock.

“As far as I know. Giovanni claims his organization is more like a company, and their insignia a business logo.” My gaze fell to my arm where good and evil warred there, the same as it did internally. “But I guess you could say all this shit is in my blood. It’s who I was destined to be.”

“No.” She leaned forward and set her hand on my knee, and my gaze lingered there for a quiet moment before returning to her face as she added, “You’re your own person. You can do and be whatever you want.”

I wanted to believe that, but she only knew the beginning act, the start to my story, and I wasn’t sure if she’d still believe that once I gave her all the hideous details from the middle.

The other issue was the end had yet to be written, and I didn’t have a damn clue the direction my story would go.

“I won’t back down from the threat I made to Giovanni.” If she was suggesting that, she needed to know where I stood. “There will be no mercy if he doesn’t give me a name.”

“But Giovanni didn’t know that his guys were sent to attack you.” She pulled her hand back and settled in her seat, clearly unhappy with my words. “And you just said they’re basically businessmen now.”

Was she trying to walk me off the cliff of crazy? Did she forget a man had had a bat to her throat and a hand on her thigh? Did she not know what vile things that man-child had been thinking about while straddling her?

I shrugged. “I don’t care.”

“Enzo, there’s a difference between going after whoever murdered Bianca and taking out some young punk who was looking for a fight at your apartment.” She fidgeted with the sleeves of her top, and it was clear she was growing uncomfortable.

“And those young punks turn into the kind of men who hurt innocent women,” I shot back, hating that ugly truth. But after everything I’d witnessed in my life, I knew I was right. I unbuckled, stood, and set my hand to the ceiling, peering down at her as I remarked in a rough voice, “I guess this means I know how you’ll react when you hear the middle of my story. And maybe you were wrong about what you said last night. Maybe you will run.”