Let Me Love You

“No, don’t come here. It’s a waste of time. Just stay there and send the jet, Constantine,” Enzo said into his phone while buttoning his black dress shirt.

I had my back to the wall in his bedroom, and we were alone for the time being. I’d followed him into his room, not giving him a chance to shut me out. He’d been on the phone and slightly distracted, or he probably wouldn’t have let me in. But I was done being behind a wall of secrets.

“I know, I’ll talk to Jesse. Don’t worry,” he continued, his eyes finding mine this time as he shoved down his sweats, and I swallowed at the sight of his hard, muscular legs, remembering that hot moment from his bathroom last night.

He still had on the same black boxer briefs he’d slipped into last night, and after expelling a deep, probably-frustrated-with-me breath, he snatched his black dress pants from where he’d laid them out on the bed.

“No, I don’t think Giovanni lied. He’d never be stupid enough to send his own people to rough me up, especially not if he was connected to her death back then,” I listened to him say, and I had to assume Constantine had floated the idea their mom’s cousin was somehow responsible for Bianca’s death. “I think this was just a bad fucking coincidence. But it’s possible whoever hired the three idiotas was trying to make it look like the mafia is to blame for her death to throw us off.”

They exchanged a few more words; then he ended the call and tossed his phone on the bed. He zipped his slacks and buttoned them, eyes returning to me.

“You don’t think what happened this morning was about Bianca, or you do? I’m not sure where your head is at on this.” I kept my back to the wall for stability because my legs were on the verge of giving out.

He adjusted the collar of his shirt, then fidgeted with his sleeves, working one to his elbow, exposing the ink I was so drawn to. “I suppose it’s possible, but it just doesn’t make sense.”

I cocked my head, waiting for him to meet my eyes again. I hated that he felt like a different person right now. Cool and aloof. A man I barely knew. He wasn’t the man who’d stood before me vulnerable last night as he asked me to save him from hell.

Three men attacked him this morning, I reminded myself. Nearly hurt Natalia and me. Yeah, of course Enzo was off.

He focused on his other sleeve, working it to his elbow while sharing, “Jesse is too good to have been followed. Too good for someone to figure out why he was even at the restaurant last night.”

“But because of the timing it’s hard to believe it’s unrelated?”

“It would have to mean whoever hired the cleaner found out he was on the run, and they preemptively acted, worried I’d find out the truth. But it still doesn’t add up. Even if they didn’t know about Jesse’s talk with me, by coming after me, they put me on alert, and why would they want that?” He finally looked at me and sighed. “I’ll figure it out, don’t worry.”

“That’s not what I’m worried about.” I finally pushed away from the wall and went to him, but he lifted his palms between us as a request not to touch him, and, well, that sucked.

“Maria, I’m not in the right state of mind right now.” He flipped his palms to look at them. “I wanted to kill that man for what he did to you. But he was a fucking kid, and you were in the other room, so I showed him mercy.”

“And what’s wrong with mercy?” My voice broke that time as I eyed the inked words No Mercy on his forearm. “Because that’s not something you’re accustomed to showing someone?”

His jaw went tight beneath his facial hair, and he shook his head. Did that mean yes or no? “Last night you said you wouldn’t run, but after what just happened . . . you should be terrified of me. Why aren’t you?”

“You keep telling me I like to play with fire. I guess you’re the flame I’m drawn to, and I can’t stay away.” I candidly admitted the only truth that seemed to make sense.

But was I crazy not to be scared? Was I so head over heels for this man I could get hit in the face with a bunch of red flags and see green instead?

I mean, his mother’s family was mafia. And the mafia was afraid of him. He had a room of monitors and weapons that didn’t belong in a chef’s home. Then there was the brutal fact he could kill, and here I was, a person unable to kill a bug without remorse.

And here I am, glued in place.

He was as stuck with me as I was with him, that was all I knew.

Now the tricky part would be making him understand that.

“No,” he bit out, as if reading my thoughts. “You’re not coming.” He slashed his arms through the air and began cursing in Italian, eyes still beholding mine. “Absolutely not.”

I chewed on my lip, trying to figure out how to get through to him when he had way more restraint than I did. Was far more stubborn, especially when it came to my safety. “What if someone comes after me to get to you?” That would be my best chance to get him to surrender to my wishes. Yes, I was playing dirty, but in my mind, the man’s soul was on the line. His life. If he went back to New York to face those demons without me, and they swallowed him whole, I could lose him forever. “I guess Chiara is safer away from me and with her father right now, too.”

He frowned and remained quiet for a few painful seconds before suggesting, “I’ll hire Ryan’s SEAL buddies who helped him out last year. They can fly in for extra protection.”

“Natalia’s pregnant. She doesn’t need the stress of worrying about having a target on her head because I’m around. It’s a bad idea.”

He closed the space between us, which forced me to walk backward until I hit the wall again. “Then they can take you somewhere off-the-grid and keep an eye on you.” He angled his head as if daring me to challenge him.

“You want me alone in a cabin with a bunch of guys?” My question had him snarling. He was still wound up, so it didn’t take much to push him. “And if something happened to me because you weren’t personally protecting me, then what?”

“Nothing will ever happen to you. I won’t let it.” His palms went to the wall on each side of me, and when he leaned closer, I realized he was as hard as I was wet.

Was there something wrong with the both of us that we were aroused right now? But this man always had me hot and bothered, and I didn’t know how to turn it off.

“Then prove it.” I lifted my chin. “Protect me yourself.”

He scowled, and I’d swear, it felt like he wanted to punish me. Throw me on his bed, bend me over, and take a belt to my ass.

“Why do you do this to me?” he rasped.

“I’m trying to save you.” And that was the truth. “It’s a lot easier to bring you back from hell if I’m already there with you. After all of this, what if . . .” No, there was no chance I could let him leave without me. “It’s Wednesday,” I said with a nod. “You have until Sunday to get justice.”

“Sunday?” He angled his head. “Why then?”

“I’m coming with you, and Chiara’s with her father until then.” I swallowed, worried he’d see the bit of fear in my eyes. “That’s your deadline for revenge.”

“Deadline for revenge,” he growled out. “And you think you can handle the things I plan to do in the name of justice?”

I rolled my lips inward, attempting to summon the answer he needed to hear, hoping I’d truly be able to stomach the “things” he planned to do.

But then I thought about Bianca, and I stared him in the eyes as I murmured, “If someone out there is responsible for your sister dying . . .” My eyelids fluttered closed as I said as confidently as possible, “I’ll light the match you need to burn down their entire world.”

At the feel of my arms whooshing up over my head, my eyes startled open. Enzo had my wrists pinned to the wall. He was leaning in so close we were practically one, and every hard ridge and slope of his body touched me.

“You don’t mean that,” he gruffly said, his hot breath on my face. “You don’t understand what it’s like to take a life. And I never want you to know that feeling, do you hear me?” With his forearms over mine still, he laced our fingers, locking our hands together against the wall. “Maria, so help me, tell me you understand.”

“I—I understand,” I whispered. “But I’m still coming with you.” I wouldn’t back down from that.

His gaze narrowed as his grip strengthened a touch. “You make me crazy,” he said in a nearly broken voice just before he did it. Finally kissed me. Six long years of waiting to feel his lips again.

With his restraint snapping, our soft groans mingled together as we kissed. My body seemed to meld with his as he slid his tongue into my mouth, twining his with mine like a battle he was desperate to win. I gave in and let him dictate the movements because the man had an expert tongue, and he could lead me nearly anywhere with it.

“Maria,” he said between soft kisses that turned erotic again, and I wanted to grab him. Hold his hair. Touch him. But with my arms locked over my head, I was at his mercy.

He tore his lips from mine a minute or so later, only to drag them along my jawline. Then he trailed his mouth down the side of my neck, sucking and nipping at my skin in a few places as if he wanted to devour every inch of me.

His teeth grazed my flesh before he lifted his mouth to my face and found my lips again, and a nearly bruising, punishing kiss followed and had me spiraling.

When our lips finally broke, I whispered, “I’ll take that as a yes. I’m coming with you.”

He brought his mouth to my ear, coaxing more goose bumps to erupt beneath the hoodie. “I told you, you have power over me, Tesoro. I don’t know how to say no to you.” He let go of my hands, which allowed me to finally touch him.

I fisted his black dress shirt with both hands, and once our eyes met, I begged, “Then don’t.”