Learning Curve

Finn

Scottie’s eyes are big as they stare into mine, her hand on my chest the only thing keeping my heart inside. I have no idea what she’s going to say or do, but I will myself to have the patience to wait it out.

“I know it’s been you,” she says, and her voice is so soft, so quiet, that I almost don’t even hear her. “I know you’ve been the one who was making sure I had notes for all my classes. I know you’re the one who has been leaving me dinner and snacks and hot chocolates to make sure I eat. And I know you’re the one who left me that old-school Discman with all the playlist CDs.”

“I didn’t know what to do,” I tell her. “You needed space, and well, I wanted to find a way to support you, to be there for you. I’m sorry if I—”

She doesn’t wait for me to finish. “When Julia and Kayla told me it was you, I just about burst into tears. I almost called you. Texted you. Showed up at your dorm,” she says, and I jerk my head back in surprise.

“You did?”

She nods. “I wanted to talk to you, but I…I don’t know…so much had happened between us, you know?”

Fuck. “I know.”

“I love you, Finn,” she says, a sparkly sheen of tears making the green of her eyes mossy. “My feelings for you haven’t changed. And after everything you just told me, forgiving you feels easier than breathing.”

“Tell me I’m not hearing shit. Tell me you just said you love me and you can forgive me.”

“I love you, Finn. And I think it’s long past time we forgive ourselves and each other.”

“Fuck, Scottie,” I whisper, and I can’t stop myself from stepping forward to lift her into my arms. My mouth finds her lips, and I kiss her with the kind of intensity that has us both gasping for air. But I don’t stop. I can’t stop. I feel like I’ve waited ten lifetimes for this.

“I love you, Scottie,” I say, my mouth still pressed against hers. I can taste the salt from her tears as they slide down her cheeks and mingle with our mouths. “I love you so fucking much.”

I walk us over to the bed, gently laying her down on the mattress, and I move to lie beside her, but she surprises me by gripping my T-shirt with both hands and pulling me directly over top of her. She wraps her legs around my waist, and her hips jolt forward to press against me. “Please, Finn,” she begs. “I need you. I’ve needed you. I’ve needed this.”

I stare deep into her eyes, wondering if this is the right thing, wondering if this is moving too fast. “Are you sure?”

“I haven’t felt like myself in two months. Until now. Being here, with you, like this…I feel so much like me.”

Slowly, I remove her socks and pajama pants and underwear. And when she sits up, I lift her shirt above her head. She leans forward to undo the button and zipper on my jeans, and I kick off my socks and boots so she can shove them and my briefs down my legs.

And when I start to climb back onto the bed, she drags my T-shirt over my head so that we’re skin-to-skin.

“I love you, Scottie,” I tell her again just before I press my mouth to hers. “I love you,” I say between kisses down her neck. “I love you,” I say as my lips make a path across her breasts. “I love you,” I keep saying as I kiss every single inch of her body.

I don’t know how many times I say it, but I know that I could say it a million more times and it would still not feel like enough.

By the time I’m rolling a condom over my hard cock and kneeling between her thighs, we’re both breathing hard, needy and desperate for each other.

And when I finally slide inside her, when my cock is filling her up and the warmth of her breasts is pressed against my chest and a little moan slips from her mouth and into mine, my truth is absolute.

Sometimes when history repeats itself, it’s because it’s supposed to.