Keeper Of The Flame

Olive and Rain walked over to talk to me.

"Rage do you like Jessie?"

" I like Jessie."

" No, do you like Jessie? Do you have feelings for Jessie?"

" What are you asking me?"

" Would you want to get to know Jessie?"

" I want to claim Jessie as my woman but she put a gun to my head and kicked me out of her RV. I tried to get to know her but she is not interested."

"Rage, she is afraid."

" Of what?"

" Me?"

" Of men in general."

" We need to tell you about what happened to her and who did it."

I knew about her ex old man and the woman he claimed who was once Jessie's best friend. I did not know that he watched everything they did to her. That fucker needs to die again. And a man who ordered the death of his own baby. He is sicker than I thought.

"So you know why she runs. She doesn't trust men. She doesn't want to get close to them because she is afraid the next man would do the same thing."

" She pretends she is happy. She pretends she doesn't need a man. But Jessie is depressed. She fights her depression daily. She wants to be buried with her baby."

"That baby was all she ever wanted that and her man to love her. He cared for her until her best friend went after him and took him from her. She works in a dangerous job hoping and praying that one day soon she will get killed."

" She is really a loving and carrying person but she does not like others to think she is soft."

"If you want her when she comes back you need to get her mad, so she will at least yell at you or threaten you. Don't let her walk away if you really want her. You have to break her walls down. And that is not going to be easy."

I watched them stand up and walk away.

"Easier said than done I thought. She won't even come to my clubhouse."

" Wait she owns the tattoo shop in the town my club lives in. I had my VP ask Olive where she lived and he said she lives in Ohio City and her tattoo shop is in Van Wert. I don't think that Jessie realized that our club is from Ohio City."

Soon I will make sure to see her around town. I will even go to her tattoo shop. This is going to be fun. I decided that I was going to stay for a few more weeks.

"I talked to Ace about my plan."

" He started laughing at me. Stay as long as you like. I will sit back and enjoy the show."

"we need to see which one of you will leave first and head back to Ohio City."

" Rage, I like you. I think you would be good for Jessie. You are as stubborn as she is. So please make it entertaining."

" I will do my very best Ace."

I walked over and told my VP that I would not be returning to the club with them. I would be staying here for a while and he was in charge until I returned.

They all looked at me and said "you are going to see how far you can push Jessie. I wish I could stay and watch that. But we can't. Be careful Rage."

" She has a temper and could throw beer bottles at you if not her knife."

" I will be careful" I said.

"We will see who gives up first and leaves for Ohio City. Me or your Sister."

"Anyway, I know you all are leaving early in the morning. If I am not awake when you leave I will tell you to be careful now and to call me at least once a week and update me unless it is an emergency."

Back at the cabin, Jessie was looking at the pills sitting on the table on the porch. She has not taken them in a while. I looked at the medication as I rocked back and forth.

I know that right now I need them. But I hate taking them. All I want to do is remember my baby and cry. When I held Roxie's little girl it was all I could do not to walk out of the club and go and cut my wrists.

I want my baby. I ran into the cabin and searched for razor blades. I need to cut. I need to get rid of the pain. I slid down the wall and called Roxie.

"Hello, Jessie are you alright?"

" No, I'm not alright."

" I need to take my depression medication but if I do I will feel better and be able to deal with her death. But if I don't I want to cut to get rid of the pain."

"Jessie, do you have your medication?"

" Yes. Then take it."

" I don't want to."

" You have to."

" Where are you?"

" My cabin."

" Where is your cabin?"

" I am not telling you or anyone?"

" Jessie, you are calling me because you know what I am going to tell you. Take your medication."

" But I want to cut."

" No, you do not want to cut. You stopped that a long time ago."

" Only because I had revenge on my mind."

" Take your goddam medicine."

I stood up and walked out on the porch and picked up the medication bottle. I opened it took the pill out and took it.

"I took it, Roxie."

I let the breath out I was holding.

"Now I want you to take another pill out and put it on the bedside table with a small glass of water so that you remember to take the next pill tomorrow."

"Thanks, Roxie. I just needed you to yell at me."

" I know Jessie. But you also know that you have to take that medication daily. I also know what today is."

" And you have to stop feeling guilty. You need to start living again. You can't live in the past anymore."

" I know that too."

" Good now pull yourself together and go take a hot bubble bath and then go to sleep."

" Night Roxie. I love you, sis."

" I love you too. Call me in the morning."