Kanin

To my surprise, I do sleep that night, rather well to be honest. Jax’s bed feels exactly like what I’d picture a cloud would feel like. When I peel my eyes open, I’m aware of only how quiet it is. I stretch my muscles out and a yawn escapes my mouth. I sit up in bed, expecting to find Jax asleep, but he isn’t there.

That’s when the bedroom door opens and Jax steps in. He’s carrying a pile of clothes in his hands. He’s wearing a t-shirt and gym shorts. I can see that he’s sweating. He must have just worked out.

“I found you some clothes so you can take a shower.” He says lightly, barely looking at me.

I say nothing, just nod my head. He stands there a moment before clearing his throat and exiting the room. I let out a sigh and slip from the bed. I pick up the clothes, which to my surprise are close to my size. The jeans will be a bit big, but I can deal.

I make my way into the bathroom. Now that Jax isn’t bleeding in front of the sink, I have a second to take it in. It’s a massive bathroom, the biggest I’ve ever seen. It has a walk-in shower with several shower heads and a clawfoot bathtub. There’s a stack of towels folded neatly on the granite double sink. I see a row of products that belong to Jax, all of them looking rather expensive. No wonder he always smells so good.

I hurriedly start the shower so I can get it over with. I want to leave Jax’s room as soon as possible. I don’t like being so surrounded by him. I step out of my clothes and into the stream of water, I instantly feel better. If I had a shower like this at home, I’d never leave. I wanted to savor the shower, but instead I was in and out in under ten minutes.

Stepping out, I pulled on the clothes that Jax had brought me. Like I suspected, the jeans were a little big. The shirt was white and hung off my shoulders. Whoever they belonged to, they had good taste. I pulled on my boots again, finishing off my outfit. I then ran my fingers through my hair and braided it over my shoulder.

I moved out of the bathroom and back into the main bedroom. I made the bed quickly and then stepped out of the room. I wasn’t surprised to see Cade there waiting for me. He was leaning back against the wall, arms crossed over his broad chest. His mess of blonde hair was pushed back from his face, giving me a view of the bruise that was still at his temple.

“I heard you went on a late-night adventure.” Cade said, pushing himself up from the wall and stepping towards me. I said nothing. Nothing in this house went un noticed. If something happened, everyone knew. “Alpha made it clear that you’re to be watched all the time from now on. Must have been some adventure.”

“I’ve had better.” I shrugged, I didn’t want to make a big deal about it. Even though I was still terrified about what had happened. Still terrified that Ean was hunting me now. But more terrified that I had managed to make Jax even more angry with me then he already was.

Cade laughed and then guided me down the stairs and into the kitchen. There’s a pile of pancakes sitting on the island, along with bacon. My stomach growls from the smell. A small smile cracks across my face.

“You hungry?” Cade asks, taking out a plate and setting it in front of one of the island chairs. “Take a seat.” I don’t protest. I watch as he stacks my plate with food. I thank him before gratefully digging in. “You get to leave the house today.”

My eyes snap up to his and I stop eating, “What?”

“Yep,” Cade’s smile is bright on his face. “Jax debriefed us on what happened last night. You have to get a dress for the meeting.”

“Who am I meeting?” I pried.

Cade’s jaw tensed for a moment, “Unfortunately, we aren’t the only werewolf pack in the territory. It doesn’t happen often. Most of the time once there’s an alpha that sets up shop in an area, another pack doesn’t come within two hundred miles of them. But in our case, we share part of the territory with another pack. Since that’s the case, we also have an uneasy alliance with them. Which means we make decisions with them and they know our business.”

“So, what do I have to do with this?”

“You’ve stirred up a lot of trouble, not just for Jax. The other pack wants to know what he plans on doing with you.” Something flashed in Cade’s eyes, something almost like fear.

“Like if he plans on killing me?” I gulp, my appetite completely gone by then. I felt sick.

“For one, yeah.” Cade grips the counter tight in his grasp, his knuckles white. “Don’t worry, okay? If Jax hasn’t killed you yet, I don’t think he plans on doing it at all.”

“He told me last night that as soon as he gets what he wants, he’ll kill me.” My eyes met Cade’s and I was sure I was almost crying. “What does he want from me, Cade?”

Cade sighs, looking defeated, “I wish I could tell you.” I nodded, unable to speak. My throat had gone dry. “Just don’t think about it right now, alright? Enjoy your freedom for the moment. We’ll deal with the other things later.” He gave me a smile that made me smile as well.

“Are you taking me, then?” I asked.

He laughed, “Definitely not, that’s not my field of expertise. Arya will take you.”

"Arya?”

“She’s a pack member. She’s been the one giving you some clothes. You’ll like her, she’s cool.”

An hour later, I’m sitting in the living room when the doorbell rings. Cade jumps from his seat and jogs over to answer it. My eyes instantly take in the person standing there. She must be Arya.

I see her pull Cade in for a hug before her warm brown eyes meet mine. She instantly smiles, like she’s happy to see me. That would be a first. She quickly makes her way over to me, “Kanin, right?”

I nod, “You must be Arya.”

“That’s me.” She’s still smiling, sill happy. My eyes take her in quickly. She’s beautiful, but of course she is. She has black hair that’s chopped off at her shoulders and streaks of purple and green running through it. She’s wearing ripped jeans and a black band t-shirt. I decide quickly that I like her. “You ready to go, then?” I nod, standing to my feet and following her towards the door. Cade is standing there, staring us over. “Don’t worry, Cade, I’ll take good care of her.”

I wave goodbye to Cade as I follow Arya to a red car that’s parked in the driveway. I notice the black motorcycle is gone from its spot. I slip into the passenger seat and watch as Arya turns the car on. A pop song instantly blares through the speakers and she reaches up to turn it down.

“This is going to be fun. I don’t ever get to hang out with outsiders.”

"Outsiders?” I question her as she pulls her car onto a busy street.

“Oh, sorry, I meant regular girls. Outsider’s is what Jax calls anyone outside of the pack.”

“I thought you guys aren’t close, the pack?”

“Oh, we’re not. But my mom believes in the old ways, Jax’s father’s ways. Which means I’m homeschooled. No outside contact besides the pack members or other wolves.” Arya explained.

“Wow, that’s harsh.” I commented.

She shrugged, “I don’t really know any differently so it doesn’t matter to me.”

“So, you hang with the pack every day, all day? There’s other’s your age?”

“A few. Our pack is small. Most of us have been in the pack for, like, ever.”

“I don’t know anything about werewolves, but doesn’t that make you at a disadvantage or something, since you’re small? Like does other alpha’s try to take your territory or something?” Most of my knowledge was going off books and movies I’d watched, but how true could they really be?

Arya laughed, “You’re funny.” She takes a moment before she starts speaking again, “Just because we’re small doesn’t mean we’re weak. It’s quite the opposite really. Specially with Jax as the alpha. Our pack is one of the strongest there is. And no, no one would even dare to try and take our territory. No one crosses Jax.”

“Everyone speaks so highly of him. He’s so young, it’s just hard for me to picture him being an alpha period.”

“Believe me, you don’t know anything about Jax. He might be young, but believe me when I tell you that he’s scary. Some are just born with the power. He’s one of them.” She told me as we pulled into the parking lot of a mall. “Enough about Jax, you need to get a killer dress for the meeting.”

“I don’t understand any of this,” I shook my head, closing my eyes tightly. “Why do I need to dress up?”

“The old ways.” She said vaguely, taking a parking spot near the back. “It’s just tradition.”

“Cade tried to explain to me what the meeting was about, but I just don’t get it.”

“It’s hard to understand if you didn’t grow up with the traditions. Just do as Jax tells you, stay quiet, and you’ll be fine.”

“But Cade said that they were deciding on whether to kill me or not. How can I stay quiet if they’re deciding my life?” I stepped out of the car and followed Arya up to the front.

She sighed, “Trust me, Kanin, you want to stay quiet while you’re there. They will not hesitate to kill you on the spot if you speak out of turn. The other pack’s alpha is old school. She believes that everything that’s below her is basically nothing.”

"She?”

“Yeah, Keera. She’s ruthless.”

“Are there a lot of female alpha’s?”

“Definitely not. It’s rare. I’m not even sure how she became an alpha, but she is.” We stepped into the mall now. It was overcrowded and loud. Arya smiled as her eyes roamed across the stores. She quickly changed the subject, “There’s this cute little store around the corner. You’ll definitely be able to find something in there.”

I nodded, my mind still reeling from the information she’d given me. I barely paid attention as we made our way into the clothing store. Arya instantly pulled me towards a rack that was filled with dresses. She picked out a few before shoving them into my arms and insisting I try them on first.

I hated to shop. It was like the last thing I ever wanted to do. It was even worse now that I was possibly buying my dress for my own funeral. It was definitely going to be hard for me to hold my tongue when two alphas were talking about my fate as if I wasn’t even there. All of this was so confusing and so messed up.

I pulled on the first dress quickly, just wanting to get this over with. At any other time, I might like these dresses that Arya was making me try on, but right now all I could think about was how scared I was.

I stepped out of the dressing room for Arya to see. She smiled brightly and told me to spin around, “That’s definitely one to remember. But try on that backless black one next.” I nodded, stepping back into the changing room. I located the dress she was talking about and pulled that one on next.

I stood before the mirror for a moment, smoothing the skirt down. It reached just above my knees. The bodice was tight around my waist then it flowed outwards as it traveled to my knees. There was no back. Overall, the dress was incredibly elegant.

I step out to show it to Arya. She whistles as soon as she sees it, “Okay, dang, girl. That’s the one.”

I couldn’t help the slight smile that crept onto my face, “You think so?”

“Definitely.”

I smoothed the skirt with my fingers, fidgeting. A memory crept into the back of my mind. Delilah had once taken me to try on homecoming dresses, it had felt a lot like this. I suddenly felt drained. I leaned against the wall for support. I wondered what Delilah was doing right now. I wondered what my father had told people when I hadn’t come home that night. Did she think I was missing?

“You okay?” Arya asked me, stepping towards me and putting a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

I shook my head, a simple tear slipped down my cheek, “A few days ago, I knew nothing about your world. Now, my life hangs in the balance and everything I thought I knew about my life is wrong. I was normal and boring. And I miss it."

“It’s going to be okay, Kanin.” Arya said in a soft voice.

“How can you say that?” I looked up at her. “I mean, you’re helping me pick out my death dress for pete’s sake.”

“Don’t call it that.” Arya warned. “Don’t think about it that way. It’s just a meeting.”

“How else am I supposed to think of it, Arya? I’m so scared. I’m so in over my head. All of this is too much.” I lowered myself into the chair by the dressing rooms, my legs feeling weak.

She knelt before me, “You’re strong, Kanin. You’ll get through this.”

I suddenly laughed, “Aren’t you supposed to hate me?”

“Why would I hate you?” She asked curiously.

“Your alpha wants me dead and you have to take his orders, right? I just thought you’d hate me like he hates me.”

Arya laughed as well, “I may have to take his orders because he’s my alpha, but believe me, I don’t always agree with him.”

“That’s good to know.”

“And I don’t think he hates you.” She offered.

“Oh, he definitely hates me.”

“I think you bring out a side of him that he hasn’t let out in a very long time and it scares him. That’s why he’s so hostile towards you.” She explained.

"Scares him? No way. I’m sure nothing scares him. It’s like he doesn’t feel anything at all. He’s always super calm and blank, unless I do something that I’m not supposed to and then he’s just angry.”

“He has a lot of dark secrets, Kanin. One’s that he’s tried his best to bury. He handles his emotions differently, shuts them off. But trust me, he’s not emotionless.” I heard the sadness in her voice as she told me this. She’s quick to change the subject, “Now, let’s get this dress and then go home. Alpha won’t like it if we’re out for too long.”

I nodded, quickly stepping back into the dressing room and pulling back on my regular clothes.