Kanin

Jax pulled me into the mansion, locking the door behind us. He didn’t stop as he pulled me along with him up the stairs and away from my bedroom. Instead, he brought me to another room. He opened the door and pushed me inside. Once the door was closed behind us, Jax rested his forehead and palms against the wood.

I said nothing as I watched him. A part of me felt bad about running away, about stabbing him, but what choice did I have?

“You’re so stupid.” He said in one rushed breath. He sounded weak, unlike his usual strong tone.

I kept quiet. I wasn’t going to apologize. I hadn’t done anything wrong. He was the one that had kidnapped me. I was just doing everything I could to get out.

Jax spun around quickly, crossing the room in two quick steps. He stood so close that I could feel his chest rising and falling rapidly. “Do you know what he would’ve done to you if I hadn’t shown up?”

Bad things.

I could see it in his eyes. I could tell how mad he was: at me, at Ean, at the world. If he hadn’t come to my rescue, a lot worse things would’ve happened to me besides being Jax’s prisoner.

“Do you have any idea how dangerous it is now that Ean has seen you!” He was trying so hard to control the monster within. “Of course not. You’re ignorant.”

“Excuse me?” I snapped. “How is any of this my fault? You kidnapped me! You’re the one keeping me locked in this house! You’re the one keeping me in the dark! It’s not my fault that I have absolutely no clue what the heck is going on! I did what any sane person would do!”

He studied me for a moment, his jaw clenching. He was beyond mad. I could tell he wanted to put me in my place, but for some reason he kept quiet. He only nodded his head.

He stepped away from me and into the bathroom adjoining his room. He ripped the rest of his torn shirt away, discarding it in a small trash can behind him. He knelt and rummaged in the cabinet under the sink. When he emerged again, he held a first aid kit and a half-drunk bottle of scotch. He twisted open the alcohol and took a long swig. He stumbled back, clearly dizzy from the wound still.

I rolled my eyes and stepped into the bathroom with him. “Give me that.” I ordered and took the bottled from him. He eyed me carefully as I opened the first aid kit and pulled out the necessities to clean the wound I’d caused.

“What are you doing?” He sounded breathless.

“What does it look like?” Once I had everything, I glanced up at him. He was staring at me, his eyes roaming my face. Something akin to butterflies started in my stomach. I gulped. “Take a deep breath, this is going to hurt.” He nodded, readying himself. “On three.” Again, he only nodded. He gripped the edge of the tub he was sitting on. “One. Two-” I didn’t wait for three. I doused the scotch over his wound, disinfecting it.

Jax went rigid and his muscles tight. He growled, trying to bite back a yell. He breathed deeply and closed his eyes tightly. “Can you not count! What happened to three?”

“Oh, quit being a baby.” I snapped, applying gauze and tape to his wound. I watched him settle on to the floor with his back resting against the porcelain bathtub. He laid his head back and closed his eyes.

Now that his watchful eyes weren’t studying me, I had a chance to take him in. All those fighting lessons in the yard had done his body some good. Again, I was thinking of how he belonged in a Hollister magazine or something. As I was watching him, he reached up and ran a shaking hand through his messy, dark hair.

He barely noticed as I slipped from the bathroom and back into his room. My eyes roamed. It was bare besides the black sleigh bed, dresser, and sofa. Everything was dark. The curtains were closed, not allowing any light to come in. Nothing told of a person inhabiting this room.

I dug through the dresser and came out with a pair of dark sweats and a t-shirt. I felt weird going through his clothes, but it was apparent that Jax wasn’t moving any time soon and he couldn’t stay in his blood-stained clothes.

Stepping back into the bathroom, I glanced down at Jax. He hadn’t moved and I was sure he was either passed out or asleep. I knelt before him, shaking his shoulders lightly. It took a couple of seconds before he forced his eyes open.

I was feeling guilty now.

“You should take a shower, can you stand?” I asked, watching him carefully.

He nodded slowly, his eyes still barely focused. I watched as he struggled to his feet. He stood still for a moment before he started falling again. I had to reach out and hold him up before he tumbled to the tiled floors. My arms snaked around his middle and my head pressed against his toned stomach, holding him in place. I listened to his slow heart beat for a moment, so unlike mine. While his heart was steady, mine was beating uncontrollably.

I lifted my head from his shirtless stomach to look up at him. His hands were gripping my shoulders and he stared down at me with lazy eyes and a straight face.

“Are you okay now?” I asked, forcing myself to remain calm. I lightly cursed myself for the way I was acting around him.

He nodded, pushing away from me. I couldn’t get out of the bathroom fast enough. Once I was safe inside his room, I collapsed on the foot of his bed. I put my face in my hands and took a steady breath.

I heard the shower turn on then. So far there weren’t any crashes, so I took it he was still on his feet. It was a good ten minutes before the water turned off. I listened as he moved around the bathroom. Five minutes later, he emerged from the room pulling the t-shirt on over his head. He leaned against the door frame and looked at me for a moment.

“Do you feel better?” I found myself asking him.

“Why did you do that?” He crossed his arms and looked at me curiously.

“Do what?”

“Help me.”

“I caused it and that’s not the kind of person I am.” I fidgeted with my fingers in my lap, unable to meet his heavy stare.

He didn’t thank me. He should’ve, but he didn’t. He stepped into his room and moved towards the bed. I watched as he took a pillow and laid it on the couch. “You take the bed.” He grumbled.

No way.

“I’ll just go back to my room.” I stood to my feet. Wanting to leave as soon as possible.

“Not going to happen.” Jax said, crossing his strong arms over his chest once again. “From now on, I’m not letting you out of my sight. You tend to cause trouble when you’re left alone.”

I stared him down, I was basically steaming with anger. “I’m not sleeping in here.”

“Then don’t sleep.” He plopped back on the couch, throwing one arm over his eyes.

I groaned in anger, “You can’t do this!”

I saw a small, amused smile crack across his lips, “I can do whatever I want.”

“You don’t own me. You can’t just order me around and expect me to follow your every command like your dogs do! I’m my own person! I make my own decisions and choices. You can’t take that away from me!”

He bolted up right. For a moment, his eyes flashed red before he quickly got a handle on it. For once, I wasn’t afraid. “Just stop talking. Your voice is giving me a headache.” He snapped, his hands fisting at his side. “You know nothing about anything. Right now, you can’t make your own decisions because you’re too stupid and ignorant! It would get you killed. I saved your life tonight, don’t ever forget that.”

“I am not stupid!”

I had a 4.0 GPA, ha!

“You are.” He insisted. “You’re just a little girl who is too caught up in her perfect little world. Grow up. Look out your window. I hate to break it to you, but the world isn’t all black and white. Sometimes there are people who know better than you. God forbid, that you follow rules for once! Stop thinking you’re an independent, strong woman who can make her own decisions. Because that’s going to get you killed!”

“I can take care of myself.” My voice was barely a whisper. I felt defeated. I’ve never had anyone say something like that to me before. No one’s ever hated me that much.

“No, you can’t! Open your eyes. Look where you are. You didn’t follow your father’s rules several times and that’s how you ended up here. You didn’t follow my rules so now you have Ean hunting you. You can’t take care of yourself.”

I choked back tears. My vision blurred. I was not going to cry, not in front of him. I wasn’t going to give him that satisfaction. Then his words dawned on me, ”Hunting me?”

“Yes.” He took a step back from me and his body relaxed. I think he saw how frightened I was of him. “Ean’s hunting you. He won’t stop until he gets what he wants.”

“And he wants me? Why?” Geez, I was suddenly very popular. I’ve never been this popular, not even in school. I had always dreamed of everyone wanting something to do with me, but not like this.

“He just does.”

“That’s not an answer.” He said nothing. I watched as he turned his back on me. “Jax, what does Ean want with me?” He plopped down on the couch and covered his eyes again. “Are you ignoring me?” I scoffed.

“I’m trying really hard.” Came his answer.

“Real mature.” I put my hands on my hips and stared down at him.

“I can literally feel your beady, little eyes on me.” He snapped. “If you don’t want to sleep, that’s your choice, but I’m exhausted. Go away.”

“Are you serious?” I threw my hands up in frustration. “You just told me my life’s in danger, I deserve to know why.”

Suddenly, he’s on his feet. He scoops me up and throws my body over his shoulder. I yell out in protest, but he doesn’t seem to care. My eyes stare at his back and I wish it was another situation with another boy so I can appreciate the view.

He carries me across the room and discards me on the bed, “Now shut up before I find rope and some duct tape.”

So, I shut up, because I know he’s serious. I can make out his shadow as he makes his way back to his couch. He makes himself comfortable, his back turned towards me.

I don’t think it’s possible for me to fall asleep with a sleeping alpha just a few feet away. I listen to his breathing as it evens out and I know he’s asleep. It’s too quiet, the only sound is Jax’s soft breathing.

Once I know that I’m alone and won’t be heard, I let the silent sobs escape my body and rock me to sleep.