just another roomie

I was sitting in my own living room.

But the house felt…empty.

Something was missing and I wasn’t ready to admit what that something or to be precise someone was.

I thought once I would move into my own house I would feel better, but honestly I felt like shit.

I decided it was overdue for me to call my bestie.

After all, we didn’t speak for more than a week and I bet she was getting suspicious of me.

Bitch2 : hey hun. Do you have time for a call?

Instead of getting an answer my phone rang with an incoming call.

“Hey Becks. How are you?”

“Don’t you Becks me young lady. You’ve been AWOL for the past week and didn’t even send a text! I was really starting to think one of you guys killed the other or something. Now spill the beans before I come there and start pulling things out of you.”

I stopped listening to her rant after she mentioned one of us might kill the other.

It was enough to open the floodgate.

I was crying like a baby.

“Shit. Rach talk to me. What did I say? What’s wrong? Please babes don’t cry. I feel awful when you cry and I am not there to comfort you.”

I hiccupped before a chuckle escaped me.

“You have no idea how much I need to tell you. You see I made a stupid decision. I agreed to stupid deal. And sadly I couldn’t keep my part of the deal. So stupid as I am, I made it look like it was all his fault and blamed it all on him. Just so I didn’t have to admit the truth.”

I took a big gulp of my red wine and it was enough pause for Becky to catch up with my monologue.

“Babes, what did you do? Please tell me you and Mason did not make some kind of benefit deal.”

I laughed a full belly laugh even though it sounded somewhat strained, because I was still crying.

God sometimes it really was not good to have a friend that knew you better than you knew yourself.

“I wish I could say no Becky. But I can’t. We made a frenemies with benefits deal. But promised each other to not develop any feelings. But guess what? I fell for him. And I fell hard and fast! I am so fucking stupid! And the cherry on top was, when today I found my letter of recommendation on his computer. Turns out he wrote it and not my former boss! And he never told me that, if I didn’t find it I would never know!”

There was silence for a long time on the other side of the line.

“Becky?”

“Yeah Rachel. I am here. Did you maybe think about the option that he might have done it to help you? I mean sure I get where you’re coming from, and I don’t approve of his actions, but still the brother I know would never do something like that to harm anyone. And don’t think we won’t get back to the topic of your agreement, but first things first.”

I mulled over her words even though I already knew he was trying to help me. As he tried to help all those other women.

“Becky I know he was trying to help, but he still did something illegal that could put us both behind the bars. Also I don’t know why he never told me.”

“Maybe because he knew your reaction would be exactly as it is now? You know if I think about it, he might have some feelings for you as well. He was always kind of on edge around you and an asshole. Which is totally not like him. I know you won’t believe me but I know him best. And he only acted that way around you. I had my suspicions for years but never said anything, just cheered him on silently, because what would be better than having you as my sister in law? I already see you as my sister, and our parents see you as a daughter.”

“Don’t say things like that Becks or you will make me cry even harder. But to answer your question I doubt Mason has any feelings except hate towards me. He probably acted like an asshole because he despised me from the start.”

Her chuckle shocked me.

“Really? Then why would he be so tense whenever you were around? Or why did he always ask about you, if you didn’t come around our house for more than 3 days? He even wanted to ask you to the prom if your ex didn’t pull his head out of his ass. I don’t know Rach, it sounds to me like a long years lasting crush.”

I was shocked about this new information.

I never knew about any of it.

“Becky…What if you are right? Then I just broke the heart of a man that truly loves me for who I am!”

“Don’t panic! I know my brother and if we are right, you still have a chance to make things right. That’s if you want to make them right?”

I didn’t need to think about my answer because it was an easy decision.

“Of course I want to make it right!”

“Ok. Then hear me out. I think I have a plan!”

And we got down to the mission : repair my love life.