Insight

Finally, the young woman turned her amber eyes to face Eve. Her gaze was so familiar, yet somehow so much more mature than Eve remembered.

“Why am I here, Onyx?” Eve probed.

“I appreciate what you did, Evie. I know it wasn’t easy.” She ignored the question.

“All I did was send Bas here and have a specialist bury him. The paperwork’s been dealt with. No one knows where he’s buried, or how he was buried.” She shrugged.

Truthfully, it had been a difficult task. In the days after the pups were born, making arrangements without Flint knowing had been more than difficult. Still, she’d done it. She’d made sure that Bastian was buried face up, in a marked grave, at the cabin. Eve thought it was the least she could do for Onyx and the Lawlers. Maybe for Bastian too.

“Why did you ask me here?” Eve probed.

“I found something. I’m supposed to give it to you. I put it off and put it off... But I shouldn’t have.” Onyx pulled an envelope out from under her jacket.

“What is it?” Eve asked, accepting it.

“I don’t know. I assume it’s a letter. I found it in Bas’ safety deposit box when I was eighteen. He left me everything.” She explained.

“But no lawn mower? Typical.” Eve glanced around at the tall grass.

“Same old Evie.” Onyx smiled briefly.

“Not you. I like the hair.” The Luna grinned.

“I needed something less cartoon-ish.” She nodded.

“It suits you.” She replied.

“Thanks, I grew it myself.” Onyx smirked.

“Who is this from?” Eve held up the envelope.

“You know who it’s from, Evie.” Her face became somber.

“Bas...” She breathed.

They stood in silence for a few seconds, allowing the moment to pass over them both.

“I have to go.” Onyx gestured over her shoulder.

“Me too. Be good, okay?” Eve nodded.

“I will if you will, Evie.” She chuckled before turning around to walk away.

Eve watched her for a moment before turning back to the grave stone. She reached into her jacket pocket and retrieved the paper wolf she’d folded out of construction paper. She dusted the snow off the name before placing the wolf there. She sighed, looking at the envelope in her hand nervously.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dear Evie,

If you’re reading this, we both know what happened to me. I should have planned better. I didn’t win. But, if you’re taking the time to read this; it means I didn’t lose.

My wolf has always been angry. As long as I can remember, all he's done is growl and demand violence. I couldn’t stop him, I couldn’t contain him, I couldn’t control him, or his hunger. I stopped wanting to. He is me and I am him. Everything he wants, I want. Blood, revenge, chaos, and you. Always you, Evie.

We named you Sunshine, because that’s what you meant to us. Life was dark and full of rage. Nothing else. No light or salvation. You became that for us. The light at the end of a very long and painful tunnel.

I know you don’t think I’m your mate. You can’t. You're attached to Flint. Still, I hope you know what I do. You may have been his, you may even still be his, but you’re also mine.

That feeling that crept under your skin, that was my connection to you. My death, the pain it caused you, that was my proof. I don’t have to know how I’ll die, to know that you’ll feel it. Of course you will, Evie. After all, you're mine.

By admitting defeat, you defeat yourself. Remember my words, Sunshine. Remember me. Not the scary, punchy, bad parts of me. I can’t fix those now. Remember the good things instead. Karaoke nights, me laying beside you, the static...

Tonight is Onyx’s graduation party and you’re waiting for me downstairs. I hope that this letter will be in the trash next week, unneeded. Forgotten, like the ashes of the past before we knew one another. But if you’re reading this, if I’m gone, you aren’t allowed to throw this away.

Keep it. Remind yourself of me. I love you, Evie. More than I can bear. More than anything. After all, you are our Sunshine.

Love Eternally,

Bastian Anderson

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Eve read over the words the entire way back to Green Tree. She knew that she wasn’t Bastian’s mate. She couldn’t even accept the possibility as an idea. After all, Flint was hers. He always had been. She had no doubt.

She hadn’t told Flint about her arrangements for Bastian’s burial. She couldn’t. He would have thought the worst, as would the pack. Rumors would fly about whether Eve had been in love with Bastian. This would hurt Flint immeasurably. Even if he could feel that the assumptions weren’t true.

Eve had never loved Bastian. However, she knew him. Perhaps better than he knew himself. When his life flashed in front of her eyes, she saw what kind of person he was. She felt it. Bastian Anderson had a reputation for being evil and vindictive. But Eve knew better than to believe that.

The truth was, Bastian wasn’t evil. Not even close. He was hurt by StarLight and Elijah. His pain turned to anger. The creeping sedum tea made it so that his wolf was rabid and unable to control his violent impulses. The constant howling and snarling in his mind was what turned Bastian’s pain and anger into mania.

After listening to his ‘evidence’ when he was trying to exonerate his parents, Eve came to a conclusion. Neither side was right. No one was innocent, except those that were harmed. Tony and Clair Anderson were ambushed along with Selena. Elijah killed them for his suspicions toward them. He banished Bastian without cause, injuring him further.

Flint grew up in a cold, distant home thanks to the events. Bastian grew up alone with a savage beast in his mind. No one was on the right side of this fight. Everyone involved seemed to be wrong and fueled by pain. Eve could see it all so clearly, but she was the only one.

When everything was said and done, StarLight had been the victors. This meant that history would reflect their side as being righteous, no matter the events of the past. Bastian would be a mere footnote in the history books of the mountain. Still, Eve knew that he had played a bigger role than anyone was willing to admit.

The Luna placed the letter in her pocket with the image of the Shadow pack. She couldn’t shake the feeling of her connection to the rogues, the cabin, and Bastian.

Elkin had told her years ago, when she returned to GreenTree, that a trauma like hers was hard to fight. But that it would eventually fade. However, sometimes it still felt like Eve was waiting for the healing to finally end.