I will never be yours

Kian pov

Looking at my little mate when she takes the bottle of water and an apple and gets out under my arm before she opens a portal and vanishes right in front of us with no other word than it's fine! "Now do you believe me? What have you done to her!" I hear Emma shouts from the side before she breaks down in a sob and Cannon walks over to be by her side.

I haven't seen her for weeks because I have been too busy trying to get the situation under control, I hardly have any minute over and don't want to disturb her when she needs to rest. I had hoped this would settle down quickly and we could have a talk but the days have gone right into the next one.

It wasn't until today when Emma burst inside my office and screamed at me we are about to lose her for good that it had me to realize how long it has been since I saw her. I came at her hard that day in my office and my anger where outside my body, couldn't contain it.

She had overstepped my trust by miles and it took me more than a week to start calming down, I know she wanted to protect her pack but the way she did it where reckless.

"1 told you this before Kian when you had the argument in your office! You were a bit too hard on her even if what she did was irresponsible she hasn't had anyone to guide her on the way! All she wanted to do where trying to keep her pack members alive and you have done nothing to her than punish her these weeks!" my father says and I know he is right but at the same time, she broke her promise to me more than once.

"I know!" is all I can say and drag a hand through my hair, I could have handled it better than distancing myself and getting all up in the work and doing everything to keep them safe. I have missed all of this!

"She never told anyone else about the pregnancy I knew before anyone and it was I who told the others, she only wanted to make sure what I said was the truth before telling you. I told you this before and if you are going to be angry at anyone it's me!" I hear Emma say and I know it to "Michael called me that's why I forced myself in here even tho you don't allow anyone inside! He is afraid she is using the gift to put up a barrier to all her feelings and it cuts her off from the mate bond, he is afraid she will get stuck, and then you will never have her back!" Emma says and I snap my head in her direction

"What?" I say to her in response, did I hear it right?

"her new gift can cut her off from any feelings and the mate bond. If she doesn't stop using it like a shield against her pain she will be lost! Do you think it's good for your children if she has no feelings? How do you think it will affect them?" Emma says and my stomach drops at her words. Walking closer to the counter I have to place my hands on top of it and take a minute to wrap my head around her words.

"Do you even know she doesn't sleep inside your room any longer? Cannon walked up here when we arrived tonight in his wolf and found her alone inside a guest room. Where do you sleep?" she says and I turn my head to look at her.

"every night I am outside and patrolling the borders, if the vampires will attack you can be sure it's going down at the night and I have to keep her and our children safe so I only sleep a few hours in the morning in my office! Don't want to disturb her when I get back!" I tell her what I have been doing. Seeing her shake her head in response.

"she thinks you hate her and there is no point in trying! She only used her word fine for everything! It might even be too late!" Emma says and I push off the counter and start walking around in the room. I have been too occupied to notice in what way this has gone, I should have noticed before. Turning around I head out of the kitchen and take quick steps up the stairs, pushing the door open once I reach my chambers and walk inside. Emma is right!

She hasn't been in here for a long time, her scent is almost gone even if I can smell a faint trace of her.

Walking around in the room there is nothing left of her belongings inside, turning around I start to walk down the hallway and follow where I can find her trace.

Stopping outside a guest room I open the door and her intoxic scent hit me like a wall once the door is opened, I have to take a large inhale of it!

Realizing how much I have missed her these weeks!

Hearing some footsteps behind me they stop when they have reached to where I stand.

"How could you not have known this? Didn't you get your clothes or shower inside your room?" Emma asks and I have had a maid bring me most of my clothes down to another guest room at the bottom floor, I have been using the shower when I got home in the early mornings and dressed there before heading over to my office and sleep on the couch for a couple of hours.

I have missed it all!

"no, I used a guest room and a maid brought me my clothes!" I say to her

Turning around I look at Emma where she stands with Cannon's arm around her waist, she is in deep thought and it takes a moment before she lifts her eyes and meets mine.

"what do you want me to do Emma?"