I Am Jessamine

Jessie lay in the bubble bath with the files laying beside the tub on a chair. The family lawyer amazed her. He had records of everything and the bank statements were the most damning. Just on a quick calculation of what was obvious, he had embezzled over five hundred grand and Jess guessed that was just the tip of the iceberg and with a proper forensic audit it would end up being much more and that was just over a couple of years.

Dropping the file back onto the chair Jess felt betrayed and very much alone. Finishing off in the bath Jess got out and dressed in her cotton drawstring bottoms and a black vest and headed down to the kitchen. Everything here was just so familiar and Jess opened the fridge to find a few mouldy items, soft and rotten fruit, veg, and some seriously dodgy milk. Pulling the trash can over to the fridge and clicking the lid open she started clearing all the crap out and wiping the fridge down. All the bottled stuff looked pretty much okay, but basically, everything else had expired in a bad way. Opening cupboards Jess started checking opened boxes of crackers, cookies, and cereal and tossed that all as well.

By the time she was finished she was ravenous and scoured the pantry and freezer for something to eat. While she was buried in the freezer pulling out meat that had freezer burn there was a knock at the kitchen door and Jess stood up and yelled, “Who is it?”

A trio of voices called out, “Spence,” then “Ian” and finally “Harry.”

Jess walked out of the pantry and looked at the three men on the other side of the big sliding door that, when opened, led onto the massive patio and the pool. She saw they each had a pot in their hand and a cooler was sitting at their feet. She went over and opened the door wide and smiling at them she welcomed them in. “Come on in guys. It’s good to see you.” After the hugs from Ian and Harry, the guys looked around the kitchen and Ian asked, “Uh Jessie, what are you doing?”

Looking at her efforts Jess said, “Scratching for food that’s not expired, rotten, completely dead, or trying to walk out of the house by itself.” The men laughed at her and pointed to their offerings and Jess peeked in each pot.

Sniffing as she opened the lids to the pots she laughed and said, “God I love you guys. You know exactly how to get to my heart.” Pulling out plates and knives and forks and spoons they got stuck into the cornbread, chili, and baked potatoes. They sat outside near the pool and Ian opened the cooler box and brought out a round of beers. Jess held up her beer and said, “To my family, be they here,” and she inclined her head towards the guys, “be they on the other side or be they two hundred years away? I love you all forever.” After a round of cheers, they spoke about the ranch, remembered funny moments and stupid tomfoolery, and then they spoke about Ben. Jess felt composed enough and she handled it all very well. She told the others what she had told Spence and not a drop more. It was in the past, way in the past and she needed to move on.

Her focus was the ranch, her final mission, and living again. There was a lot of laughter and good memories shared by all of them and Jess felt the hole in her soul grow just that little bit smaller. It was very late when she told the men to bugger off and they happily did, leaving Jess with the dishes. Grumbling about men being bloody useless she filled the dishwasher, dragged the bin bags out to their dumpster, tidied the kitchen, locked up, and switched off the main lights.

Walking upstairs she went into her dad’s room and she could smell him. His cologne and his Ben smell. She didn’t cry, but it hurt. Closing the door quietly she went to her room and fell into bed and cuddled her pillows and drifted into a dreamless sleep.

As the sun began to turn the sky pink and purple Jessie’s eyes flew open and for a split second she didn’t know where she was. Then, with superhuman speed, she was up and off to the bathroom and she just managed to make it to the loo. She thought her insides were going to exit her body via her mouth. When she was finished and flushed the offending mess away Jess sat on the floor sweating and clutching her aching stomach. Her muscles tightened in spasms a few more times and then settled. When she felt a bit better she stood up and brushed her teeth. Looking at her face she reminded herself that she had not eaten good old ranch food in a long while and her body had been through hell. Rinsing her mouth she said to her reflection, “Start with oats, Jess, and maybe just go with the wine and whiskey and ease into the beers. Dumbass!”

She walked into the kitchen and put the coffee on to percolate and walked around the house opening blinds and windows allowing the view of the brilliance from all angles. Her garden had been maintained beautifully and she needed to thank Frank for his efforts. The house plants also looked great and that was probably thanks to his wife, Maria.

Walking back into the kitchen she smelled the coffee and poured herself a cup, black with two sugars, and then took the phone from its charger and sat outside at the wooden picnic table. Dialing a number she knew off by heart she waited for it to be picked up.

“Hello, Rydal.” Was the thick with sleep voice on the other side.

“Wake up, Jerry. You’re missing a beautiful sunrise from your bedroom windows that my money paid to have put in.” Jess said quietly as she took another sip of coffee.

“Jessie. Look, I’ll pay back every cent. I don’t know why I did what I did and I know that is no excuse, but Jessie please give me a chance. I am so sorry.” He sounded like he was crying and Jess felt nothing for the old thieving bastard.

“Get your ass out of bed, Jerry. Call your golfing buddies and tell them you won’t be able to make your four-ball today and then get in your fancy caddy and come over here. I want to see you.” And Jess hung up. She knew he never went into the office on a Friday because he had his meeting at the country club with his cronies over a game of golf and drinks.

Jess stood up and stretched and felt an incredible craving for thick slices of bacon, cheese, and bread. She laughed and shook her head and as she headed to the stairs she heard voices outside the front door and she walked over and pulled it open. Frank and Maria were getting out of their car and Jess walked out onto the front porch.

“Good morning, guys.” And she was met by a screech from Maria and a lovely smile from Frank. Maria rushed up the stairs and hugged Jess tightly, “Oh, Miss Jessie, I am so happy to see you back. This house must be musty and smelly. It will need a good clean.” Jessie laughed at her. Maria would never come into the house to clean and spend time if she knew nobody was going to be there. The most she would do was simply water the plants with Frank, but Jess knew she desperately loved fussing about the house.

“Before you do any of that I need you to go to the market for me. I threw just about everything out.” Jessie hugged Maria as she crushed Jess into her large bosom. “I will go in and make a list.” And she bustled off and Jess shook her head.

Frank stood at the bottom of the stairs with his cap in his hand smiling up at her and Jess smiled back. “Thank you for keeping my plants alive in the house, Frank. The garden looks amazing. But I have a project for you if you’re up for it?”

“Welcome home, Miss Jessie. It is really good to have you light up this place again. What is it you would like for me to do for you?” he asked in his thick Irish accent that Jess loved so much. It sounded like Willy’s and her heart did a quick double beat at the thought and she stood up straighter and took a deep breath.

Asking him to come in and saying they could chat out by the pool over a cup of coffee, but she just had to run up and change.

After a lengthy chat with Frank and leaving it to Maria to make her list before she ran off to the market Jess saw Jerry’s caddy coming down the drive and she waited.

As he pulled up Spence came walking around the side of the house with a grim expression on his face and pressing his leather gloves tighter onto his fingers. Jerry’s eyes widened and he stopped on the bottom step.

“Relax, Jerry, Spence is a part of the ranch and he knows what you have done.” And Jess saw Jerry’s face contort in anger. Jessie continued, “Come on into the kitchen, Jerry.” She couldn’t use the office just yet.

Spence, who looked exactly like he was, an ex-seal, well-built, shaved hair and with a no-nonsense expression to those who he did not know or like, waited for Jerry and then came in after him. Jerry kept looking behind him and Spence kept staring at him pressing his gloves between his fingers.

“Coffee?” Jess offered and Jerry declined, but Spence poured himself a cup. Jess walked out and sat at the table where she had put all the files she had taken from his office and her laptop with information already copied from the memory stick displayed on the screen. Jerry paled considerably.

Jess minimized the screen and then opened another browser and googled something. She then clicked on images and turned the laptop to face Jerry. “Recognise this building?” she asked with her game face.

Looking at the image and then back at Jess he nodded, “Yes. I know it.”

“Good, because I am giving you twelve hours to get the blueprints for me and put them in my soft little hands,” Jess said and raised her eyebrow when Jerry looked about to say something. He hesitated and opened his mouth again and Jess said, “This is not a question, Jerry. You will do this.”

Jerry hesitated and Spence got up really fast to take his mug to the kitchen, which caused Jerry to nearly fall off the bench with fright. Spence laughed softly on his way into the kitchen. “Fine, Jessie, I will do this for you, but will you tell me why?”

“No.” her answer was blunt. “The other thing I wanted to discuss with you is this,” and she maximized the spreadsheets that she had opened from what she had taken from his computer. “I want a full explanation right now. You’ve got five minutes.” Jerry leaned forward and peered at the screen and looked about to faint.

Jess had highlighted several lines on an excel spreadsheet where there were charges to their business account. On the spreadsheet it said consumables, but checking the same figures, dates, and times on the corresponding bank statements it showed payments made to an account in Orange County. Jerry dropped his head into his hands and with shock, Jess realized he was crying.

She looked up at Spence who shrugged his shoulders, so Jess waited patiently for him to have his moment and then talk to her. He pulled a handkerchief out of his breast pocket and blew his nose and wiped his face.

“I met a woman and spent a wonderful night with her.” He took his glasses off and cleaned them with the same handkerchief and Spence jiggled his eyebrows at Jess, “Obviously my wife knows nothing, but the woman ended up blackmailing me and my wife checks our accounts, so I did what I had to do.” Jerry looked like he wanted to say more but then changed his mind.

Jess and Spence, who was now sitting beside her, shared a quick glance and Jess leaned forward, “Spill it, Jerry. There’s more to this. I can see it in you and I feel it in my bladder.” As Jerry opened his mouth Spence cleared his throat and Jerry jumped.

“She wanted to know everything about you and your father.” He broke out in a sweat and dabbed his forehead.

“Out with it man! Enough running around the bush. Get on with it and tell it exactly like it is.” Spence was so forceful even Jess jumped and Jerry looked fit to wet his pants. Jess hoped he didn’t.

“I thought it was a chance meeting and our night of passion was destiny, but it was planned. She didn’t wait long to send me the video and pictures of our night together. I only started paying her out of your account because she demanded to have copies of your files and bank accounts.” Jerry’s bottom lip was quivering.

“And you gave them what they wanted?” Jessie’s hackles were up and she had a feeling.

“Yes.” He said quietly, “They killed my dog. She stepped out of a car and took a sword, a bloody sword, and gutted my poor baby like a fish.” Jerry started crying again.

“What was her name?” She asked, but Jess already knew the answer to that question.

Sobbing loudly Jerry said, “I only knew her as La Rue.”

Jess grinned and felt absolutely fabulous. Standing up she stretched and said to Jerry, “Stop paying her, call the bank and tell them you deposited money erroneously into that account and get back what you can. I will guarantee you it has not been touched. Then get me those plans.” And she turned and walked into the kitchen as Spence got Jerry up and led him outside to his car.

Spence came back into the kitchen and looked at Jessie. “Feel free to share at any time, kid.”

“She’s dead. She was part of the crew who had something to do with Ben’s death.” Spence frowned at her and nodded, “Okay. Want to tell me about it?”

Shrugging her shoulders Jess just said, “We crossed paths and she hit a dead end. Literally.” To be honest, Jess didn’t like to relive that moment because she thought of young Thomas and Nick’s pain.

Nodding Spence took a piece of paper out of his top pocket. “Barney and Hopper will be here later tonight or early tomorrow morning. They’re taking a relaxed road trip. Well, that’s what the two knuckleheads said. They both have their own gear, but here are the extras we need and the cost. I have also brought up our treasure and it all still looks good, but Barney said he will go over it all with me again tomorrow.”

“That’s good news, Spence, thank you. I have to go into the city and sort out some things with the bank and then I would like to give my proxy to Ian to go and put Nick’s apartment on the market. Can you spare him for a few days?” Jess asked as she headed towards the front of the house.

“Yeah, sure, we can manage without him for a few.” And they walked out of the house and Jess grabbed her bag off the sofa near the door and her car keys off the key holder near the door and headed to the garage. Spence went off in the direction of the barn.

Jess lifted the keys and remote to open the garage and when she held them in her hand the remote felt oddly warm so she stopped and turned it over in her hand. Nothing appeared unusual, but she felt an odd niggle in her belly and suddenly she smelled lemon grass and white sage. Turning away from the garage she started walking towards the barn and she called after Spence. He had just got to the barn door and he turned and saw her face. He became alarmed when he saw her holding out her hand with the keys and remote in her palm. Jogging back to her he frowned, “What’s it, Jessie?”

“Something is not right with this remote. I don’t know whether it works or not, but I just have an odd feeling about it. It doesn’t feel right.” She looked at Spence and he saw her face and something inside him recognized another of his circle who used gut instinct and usually they were right.

He took the bunch of keys with the remote from her and gently carried them away from the barn and house and sat down with them at the outside table used by the ranch hands. Using his pen knife with a gentleness that you would not expect from such a big man he opened it. “Sweet Jesus! It’s a fucking detonator!” Getting up he looked at the garage and then called out to everybody in the vicinity. “Everybody get the hell out of here. Now!” People stopped what they were doing and looked at him and he yelled, “Now!” And they scattered. Most ran into the field and others ran behind the barn and back to their digs.

Ian and Harry approached suspiciously and Spence moved slowly and took Jess by the wrist and moved her back with him. “Nobody touches a thing. This is serious and it is dangerous. We don’t know where the bomb or bombs have been placed. It could start in the garage and end up chain reacting to others.”

Jess was in shock and then suddenly she thought of Frank, but he was down at the creek. Then Maria sprang to mind. “Spence, Maria is inside!”

“Jesus!” Spence rubbed his hand over his face.

Jessie didn’t wait and she dropped her bag on the floor, spun around, and ran like a cheetah back to the house. She heard Spence shouting for her to come back, but all she could think of was Maria. Sweet innocent Maria.

Jessie jumped up on the front porch and ran in through the open door. “Maria?” she shouted and saw her come walking down the passage, list in hand, towards her, “Yes, Miss Jessie?” and just then the phone started to ring and Maria went to answer. “No Maria! No!” Jess tackled the woman to the floor. She was obviously confused and angry, but Jess hauled her up and pulled her. “Out! We have to get out now, Maria.”

Pulling Maria behind her Jessie just knew she had to get Maria out just in case something went off and they both ended up being pin cushions for wooden splinters. Running out the front door and down the front steps, Jessie hauled Maria like an obstinate dog. She would not let her go until they reached the far end of the barn where Spence was standing with his hands in his hair.

Panting like two women who had just run the marathon, Jess held her sides and Maria was indignant. “Miss Jessie, this is not funny. What is going on?”

Spence, being as subtle as a bucket of shit, told her. “I think the whole place has been rigged to blow up. Boom!” and he threw his hands out and Maria stood with her mouth open and eyes wide.

Jess decided to come clean with the others who were standing around them. “My father was killed and I think the people responsible have planned something for me here. We need to get this place checked out by a professional, but I can’t get the police involved because I don’t have proof. Nor do I have Ben’s body. A death certificate is going to be very hard, but I am working on that.”

Shocked faces looked back at her and then the apologies and condolences came. Maria stepped forward and hugged Jess. “Is that where your scar comes from, Miss Jessie?” and she pointed to Jessie’s face. Jess merely nodded, not wanting to say any more on the matter. Jess found herself missing the simplicity of the eighteen hundreds and there not being horrible explosives. Not feeling too good she tried to walk over to the bench near the tables, but the world suddenly spun out of control, and then blackness came down and Jess heard shouting and then silence.

Opening her eyes slowly and praying for the world to stop spinning Jessie saw faces above her. “Alright, she’s awake. Let her breathe. Come on, kid.” And Spence picked her up and sat her at the table.

Holding her head she asked, “How long was I out for?”

“A couple of minutes, no more. You okay, Jessie? Have you eaten breakfast?” Spence was checking her eyes and then her pulse.

“I threw food out. Maria was making a list. I think I may have picked up a bug from where I came back from. I will make an appointment with the doctor as soon as we have all this shit sorted.” Jess was starting to feel better and Ian came running over with a coke. Jess didn’t like coke, but it was packed with sugar and she needed the rush so she took huge gulps and, surprisingly, she liked it.

Spence pulled out his mobile and pressed the secret code on his touch screen and then held it to his ear. “Barney, we have a problem. Can you get here sooner?” Spence listened for a second or two and then said, “Good man.” And disconnected the call.

“Hopper and Barney will not stop over, but come straight through. They should be here by mid-afternoon.” He said to Jess and then turning to Maria he said, “Take the truck and go to the market and fill your list.” The fewer people around the better, he thought, and he told one of the hands to get the truck keys.

Calling out to everyone he said, “The work we were going to do in the coast field tomorrow? Checking boundaries and fences, we will do now. You all know the plan? Right, get your grub, gear, and water and head out. Keep the two-way with you so I can keep in touch with you all.” Turning to Ian and Harry, “You will each take charge of a team and keep them out for as long as you can. Find shit to do if you have to. Anything serious and I will call you on your mobiles.”

Once everyone had left Spence went into his cottage and Jess sat sipping her coke wondering what other surprises Rancliff had left for her. She started wondering if she had bitten off more than she could chew. No! She shook her head and sat up straighter. The hell with them, she thought. Nick was stupid, yes, but he was stupid for love and what Rancliff was doing was so very wrong. Trying to change history for one’s own gain was wrong. You just don’t mess with that. Jess felt better and a lot stronger, ready to continue.

But Spence came walking from his cottage with plates in his hands and under his arms. Getting to the table he plonked a plate of bacon, eggs, and fried tomatoes down in front of her with toast on another plate. The butter got set down with the knife and fork and napkin. On another smaller plate was a few salted crackers with a huge wedge of cheese in the middle.

“This looks divine!” she thanked Spence and proceeded to make a strip of big bacon and cheese toasted sandwich ignoring the tomatoes and eggs and butter. He remembered something and pulled a bottle of water from his back pocket and stood it in front of her plate. Jess took it with a grateful nod and guzzled the water down, washing mouthfuls of food along with it. It tasted like heaven to Jess. Spence sat and watched her carefully as he drank his coffee.

When she was finished she sat back and patted her tummy and said, “That is what I call a fantastic meal!” she laughed and rinsed her mouth with the last of the water. “Right, so we wait for your pal Barney?” Jess asked and Spence nodded but still sat watching Jess. She frowned at him but left it alone. Spence was a great ranch hand and an awesome guy all around, but he had problems and he retired because he kept failing his psyche exam. He was advised to find a place that was peaceful and right now Jess had brought the opposite of peaceful with her.

“Look, Spence, I know you came here all that time ago for a place to heal and find your peace, but things are going tits up right now, so if it gets too much for you, I will understand if you need a break.”

Spence looked at Jess and smiled, “Jessie, let me tell you something about me, shall I? I am third generation Marine and even though I saw what it did to my mom, I went ahead and joined up anyway because it is in my blood. It is what I was good at, and I was good.” Jess remembered Willy and Ben talking about him once and their mention of his Purple Heart for an amazing act of valor.

Spence finished his coffee and continued “But I lost my edge. I’m not going to go into it, but let us just say I saw too much killing and friends dying. It got to me and I knew I had to get out or I was going to become a major basket case.” He took off his hat and rubbed his hands over his head, “So I faked and failed my psyche exam.” He looked up at her and Jess could see a certain amount of shame there, but she stayed quiet “I wanted out. I wanted to find peace, but guys like me never lose their edge, Jessie. Our skills of observation are second to none and mine are one hundred percent accurate, so I keep my peace and only allow my dark side out when the time is necessary and I am needed.” He reached back and pulled another bottle of water from his back pocket and put it on the table. “I am a killer and I am good at it, I acknowledge that and own it. It’s what I do, but only when it is necessary because there is more to me than just that. I want to be on my own because there is no way I could ever do to someone what was done to my mother. She died a heartbroken woman and it kills me to this day. But that is my lot to deal with, Jessie.” And he smiled at her and raised his eyebrows.

Jess had been listening to him and felt her stomach clench and her mouth began to water and she swallowed hard. Sweat broke out on her upper lip and the slight dizziness began again. By the time Spence raised his eyebrows to her again she couldn’t keep it in and she shot up and ran for the side of the barn where everything Spence just made for her returned and she threw up with the fury of a tornado.

Spence stood behind her rubbing her back and making gentle small talk. When she was finished he handed her a napkin and the extra bottle of water. “Now we know what you need to stay away from. Just because it smells good doesn’t mean you eat it.”

“What the hell? I don’t know what it could be, but I suppose it is like some kind of tummy bug.” Jess wiped her nose and allowed Spence to guide her back to the table and sit her down.

“Tummy bug? I guess you could call it that.” he smiled and pushed the salted crackers towards her and nodded with his head for her to have a nibble on one. “Go ahead, it will settle your stomach.”

Jess looked at the plate suspiciously, picked one up, and began to nibble slowly, and strangely enough, it did settle her tummy. She looked at Spence with a frown and he said, “It helped my sister. She also had to lay off the bacon, cheese, coffee, butter, and basically a lot of dairy products. She was okay with fruits, veggies, stir fry, and certain crackers and she loved chicken breasts. She stayed pretty healthy eating like that.”

“You have a sister?” Jess asked surprised.

“Sure I do. She is a doctor in Fort Lauderdale.” He smiled a strange smile at Jess and she frowned at him.

“So, she had a similar tummy bug then?” Jess asked feeling a lot better.

“Well, to be honest, she had three of them.” and he laughed softly at Jess when she stared at him nonplussed.

“You’ve lost me. What the hell are you talking about?” Jessie was really confused and her frown deepened.

He looked at her and leaned his arms on the table and looked into her eyes, “Jessie, for a woman who has the most amazing powers of observation you are pretty thick when it comes to your own self.”

Jess jerked back and was about to retort when Spence held up his hands and said, “Whoa, viper!” Then he changed his voice and flapped his hands about and Jess shook her head at him laughing but wondering if he was having a mental breakdown. He was playing the fool and Jess had no idea where it was going.

“Jessie, I have to tell you something, but I don’t know how you are going to take it,” he said in a high-pitched dramatic southern drawl and Jess rolled her eyes, “but I believe you are …” and he looked up at her and batted his eyelashes and fanned his face with his hands, “ … with child.”

Her grin fell off her face and Jess sat and stared at him and then looked away. She could feel her heart rate jump up a notch and panic rise in her throat. No, not this No, this was too cruel. She stood up and walked down to the fence and lay her arms across the top rail and leaned her head on her arms. Oh god, can I do this now? Can I do this alone? No, it can’t be. It is probably a bloody tummy bug. Then she stood back and got Spence’s little joke. Bastard! She fumed at his self-righteous, know-it-all smug fat face! It’s not his fault, you dilly cow, Jess thought crossly to herself.

Walking back to the table she sat down and drank her water and Spence sat smiling at her. “This will stay between you and me, do you hear me? I will get checked out properly when this job is done, but for now, it is a tummy bug.” And she glared at him as he grinned at her.

“Sure thang, boss. Bug it is.” And he laughed softly and grinned at her. “If your bug is what I think it is, will the bug’s part creator be in the picture?” He saw the pain and horrible sadness flash across Jessie’s face and he frowned when she said, “He’s gone.” And she turned to look away from him.

He felt a pang of pity for Jess, though he would never show it. She has had to be the adult and tough for so long and now without Willy to be her pillar she was truly on her own. He admired her strength and courage and maybe, just maybe, this kid will be what she needed. For her sake, he hoped so. He wanted to see her finally happy, he thought, and perhaps her future did have a good man in it. He would make sure any man coming into her life would be a good man.

Jess felt the pain return in full force and she struggled to keep herself under control in front of Spence. A baby? Grayson’s baby growing inside of her? Could it be? Deep within she screamed out to him to close his eyes and hold her. Please Grayson, if this is so please stay with me because I am so scared. I will never forget you, my darling. Please, just stay with me and help me to be strong. Jessie’s heart called out to him and she began to feel warm and relaxed. She closed her eyes and saw his smiling face and glittering green eyes. He looked so happy and Jessie couldn’t help smiling at what she saw. Putting her hand over her heart, Jessie felt his love.