I Am Jessamine

A choir was singing softly and clearly, but Jess couldn’t hear the words. She felt as though she was floating on a cloud with a strange sense of weightlessness, and then the voice came.

‘Who gives this woman to this man?’

Jessie couldn’t understand why this question was being asked.

‘I do.’

She wanted to call out to whomever it was that was speaking, but she couldn’t. She was floating in a midnight blue sky with twinkling silver lights all around, feeling slightly unbalanced and a tad queasy.

‘I, Grayson Iain Murphy, take thee …’

The sound of water gurgling and wind rushing around her began just as she tried to call out to Gray. She began spinning and she closed her eyes because it was making her feel sick and she couldn’t feel anything else and she had no control. The world was suddenly turned upside down and her head swam.

‘…. To be my wedded wife. To have and to hold from this day forth …’

Gray, please hear me! I love you, Gray. Never forget! Jessie screamed out in her head and heart with tightly shut eyes. Jess felt herself flying up so fast she struggled to take a breath.

Then it all seemed calm and Jess opened her eyes and looked up and saw a light green circle not far above her head and she pushed up. Within moments her head breached the water and she heard the soft humming, chatter, and singing.

She was in a pool. In another cave. The glow of the green water lit the dome of the cave and Jess saw unusual markings and swirls and then, strangely enough, right in the center glowing with the reflection from the pool, was a pair of butterfly wings. She tilted her head and as she moved so the wings changed shape as though they were flapping and moving.

Jess dragged herself out of the pool and lay on the granite beside it and suddenly her world came crashing down on her with the weight of loss and pain and loneliness. Jess cried and sobbed until she thought her body would simply give up. She lay on her side looking into the pool and her tears ran onto the granite and over the lip of the pool into the strange water. She curled into a fetal position and hugged her arms about herself and softly let it all pour out of her soul. Jess felt broken and she didn’t want to move.

Then the voices came and Jess quietened down. Looking into the pool she saw figures, faces, and a green glade. Her father was standing holding his arm out with a goblet in his hand and there were people around him. There was a waterfall, Jessie sighed, it’s the Loch Criostail Agus Eas she breathed. They have planted a garden for the Crystal Lake and Waterfall, Jess thought, and her heart lifted.

“Today is a day of celebration!

We rejoice and give thanks to the Bana-phrionnsa faerie.

Her love, loyalty, honor, and sacrifice are lessons we must never forget.

Her strength and courage have brought peace and knowing to our hearts.

It has made us remember who we truly are,

And to rise as one, proudly, because we are …

Children of Ireland!”

And Jess heard people cheering and roaring loudly, singing, fiddles playing, drums, and many other sounds. It faded slowly, but Jess lay on her back staring up at the dome above her and allowing the peace of the cave to simply flow over and through her.

Jess didn’t know how long she lay there, but when the pool began to slowly fade in brightness Jessie got up and went over to the rocks her brother had mentioned. She found it and checked the contents and it was exactly as he said it would be. Removing the Glock she checked the magazine, pulled back the slide to get a round in the chamber, made sure the safety was on and pushed it down the back of her pants. Her dagger was still strapped to her wrist with the leather thong with the handle peeking out just a little. Flexing her left hand back Jess pulled the dagger out of its sheath and checked the blade. It still looked as good as new so she put it back snugly. Leaving everything else in the bag, she pulled it over her shoulder and headed out of the cave.

Jessie saw light shining in through the cave entrance and took her time allowing her eyes to adjust. Finally stepping up to the entrance Jess looked around carefully, but stayed in the shadows with her arm behind her back and her hand on the grip of the gun. Leaning forward quickly she looked out to the left then she did the same to the right and saw nothing. Looking down she checked for prints in the sand but saw only partial prints which meant over time dust had covered them. There weren’t even animal spoor, so well hidden was the cave. Moving out into the sunlight Jess turned to the left and behind some weeds and grass found a nicely hidden path that led down. She moved quickly checking around her and up the sides of the hill and the sky all the time. Finally reaching the bottom of the path Jess kept going. She found the fork and took the right one heading away from the road that was well used. She kept up a good pace and stopped only when she saw the fence post with the number five in roman numerals carved into it. Turning and walking the way Nick had said Jess saw nothing. There was a glade, of sorts, but that was it. She could not see a cabin, but she continued walking and as she thought the cabin had been demolished she saw it. It was so well camouflaged that if it had not been for a bird calling and then flying out of a tree to land on the roof, Jess would never have made it out.

Walking around the side and peeking quickly into the cabin Jess could see it was empty so she walked back and stepped up on the porch and went to the door. Turning the handle she felt it there was no give. It was locked and then remembered Nick never mentioned where the key was. Shit! And Jess stomped her foot in frustration. Her boot made an odd ‘thunk’ sound and Jess looked down at the welcome mat she was standing on. Flipping the mat back she saw a small nail that was beside a little hole. Attached to the nail was the fishing line so Jess pulled on this very gently and she felt something on the end. Pulling it up carefully the key came into view and Jess smiled thinking of Nick doing something like this. Clever bugger, she thought fondly.

Jess entered and then locked the door behind her. It was a small cabin, but not too shabby. The dust was little, but the smell was incredibly musty. Jess found the small bathroom and checked the gas level for the geyser and was happy to see it was just a little over half. She dropped the bag on the toilet seat and began stripping.

The mirror on the wall wasn’t very kind and Jess turned her head slowly and looked at the scar on her face. It ran from the side of her chin, along her jaw line, nicked her ear lobe, and then behind her ear ending in her hair. It actually wasn’t as bad as she had thought it was. The scar had faded to pale pink. Jess shook her head and looked away. She couldn’t change anything about it, so it was pointless worrying about how it looked.

Climbing into the shower Jess noted her other scars, bumps, scrapes, and bruises. Shit, I really need to be kinder to myself, she thought and she turned the taps. The water started off icy cold, but she adjusted them and it got warmer. Using what Nick had left, Jessie scrubbed her hair and her body from her face down to her toes. She ached in places she never thought she would ache. Rinsing herself off, she did it all over again until she felt ready to get out and face the world.

Wrapping the towel, which she found behind the door, around herself she took the sat phone and charger out of the bag and found a sunlit place on a chair to allow it to charge. Then she went scratching through drawers and surprisingly found a drawer with lady’s underwear, cotton button-up shirts, jeans, and socks. Checking sizes and labels Jess realized she just had to make do with what was there.

After she had got dressed, in slightly baggy jeans and one-size-too-big blue checked shirt, Jess walked around in her socks and looked in the cupboards and found tinned food, vacuum packed rice cakes and she pulled her nose up at these, a few cans of soup and a lot of bottled water. Grabbing water she drank down the sweet liquid and sighed. She didn’t feel like eating anything that was there because it made her feel a little queasy. Amazing how quickly the body becomes accustomed to good old-fashioned fresh fruit and vegetables, thought Jess.

Jess checked the sat phone but saw the light was still red and left it for a while longer. She folded and packed her used clothes into the rucksack and shoved the Glock down the back of her jeans and pulled the shirt over, but ended up having to put her belt on to make the waist band tight enough for the gun to stay put. Her dagger was placed in the side pocket of the bag and she put her boots in the sun, on the kitchen counter by the window, to dry. She cleaned up after herself and worked very hard at not allowing her emotions to get the better of her and simply concentrated on what she was doing.

After tidying Jess started looking around for boots, but the only ones there were for people who had much bigger feet than hers so she checked on her boots and turned them so that they could dry enough for her to put them on again.

Checking the phone again she saw the light was green so she pressed the redial button and true to his word, it was the number for the ranch. It rang three times and then a familiar voice said, “Spence Raize, Kellie’s Heart.” Jessie’s throat closed, but she managed a croaky, husky “Spence?”

“Sit tight. I’m on my way, baby girl.” And the line clicked off and Jess quietly set the phone back on the charger to allow it to charge fully.

Looking around Jess realized there was nothing else for her to do but wait so she lay on the small sofa near the window. She didn’t mean to fall asleep, but she did and it was a deep and dreamless sleep where her body could recharge and when she opened her eyes again she felt like a million bucks. There was no clock in the cabin and she had not checked the phone so she had no idea how long she had slept, but she creaked her achy body off the sofa and walked to the bathroom.

Coming back she checked on her boots and they were almost dry so she put them on again and she giggled. Eighteenth-century thigh high boots over twenty-first century jeans. What a combo! Taking the leather hair thong from one of the side pockets Jess tied her crazy hair back and went to look out of the window, but saw nothing and went to check the phone again. No missed calls and fully charged she packed it back into the bag and stood up straight when she heard a foreign sound. It was the sound of the Ford truck and Jess picked up the bag, looked around to make sure she had left nothing behind and stepped out of the cabin, locked the door, and then reattached the key to the line on the nail and dropped it back through the hole. You never know, she thought, but her heart knew better.

Jess started making her way up to the fence post and just before she got to the road Spence pulled up in the truck. Jumping out he came towards her and reached for the rucksack. Jess let him take it and then he looked at her face. “You okay, baby girl?” She shook her head and said nothing because the lump in her throat got in the way and as they walked the short distance back to the truck he put his arm around her shoulders, “It’s gonna be okay, kid.” He opened the door for her and she climbed in. He tossed the rucksack onto the back seat and climbed in the driver’s side and started the engine.

As Spence drove Jess looked out at the landscape. Everything seemed dusty and there was hardly any green, but it was still peaceful. They drove for a while on a dirt road and then they pulled onto a highway and Jess finally told Spence, “Ben died, Spence. Willy and Nick won’t be returning either.” And she had to stop because of that infernal lump in her throat.

“That is shitty news, Jessie. I am really sorry. Ian, Harry, and I are still at the ranch so we will be there to help. You know what you’re doing there, Jessie. You made it what it is now.” He patted her knee, “Man I’m gonna miss Ben and Willy something fierce.” And he shook his head and readjusted his cowboy hat and sniffed. Jess couldn’t look at him, but she needed to speak to him now while they were alone in the truck.

“Spence, I need your help with something that I started and have to finish. I can’t say too much about it except that I want the bastard ruined who was behind all the shit that ultimately caused Ben’s death.” Looking over at Jess he stayed silent and concentrated on the road. Jess gave him his time and was patient.

Finally, he rubbed his hand over his face and then concentrated on getting them past an old lady driving an ancient Chevy and a massive John Deere combine tractor before he spoke. “Do I need to dig up the treasure in the barn?”

“Yes,” Jess said without batting an eye and staring straight ahead.

Hitting the steering wheel with his palm Spence let out a whoop and straightened in his seat. Being an ex-Seal meant Spence was always up for some adrenalin-raising shenanigans. As far as Jess could remember he had done some pretty hair-raising shit in his time. He was about the same age as Willy and the two of them loved breaking in new horses and they both had tried their hand at bull riding.

“I need two more men to bring our crew to four. If you trust them then I will take your word for it. I need someone who can climb and is not afraid of external heights,” Jess looked at him and he nodded, “I’ve got someone for that.” Jess continued, “I need two good tactical arms guys who are not afraid to throw down. It could get real, pretty fast, and lead will pop.” Jess put her foot on her seat and held onto her bent leg. “You know I’ve got that covered, kid.” And Jessie nodded.

“I will make arrangements to get the blueprints from a contact that I have. I will leave the arms up to you and I will foot the bill for that as well as the ammo. Tactical gear and ropes for the jumper I will sort as well. I have to check a few accounts when I get home and then I will be better informed as to what I can afford as a fee.” Jess rubbed her forehead as Spence watched her.

“Right, my brother Hopper, he is our guy for the heights and climbing and jumping. Then there is me. I am arms and ammunition for sure and I have a buddy that Ben knew quite well, Barney Swift. Remember him at all?” Jess looked at Spence and she found a memory of a tall, lean man with cropped grey hair coming to mind. “Yes, I think I do remember him. Tall lanky dude with really short grey hair?”

“That’s the one. He’s a master. I trained him.” And he grinned at Jess and she smiled and shook her head.

“Right, so we have our crew. Source what you need, give me a price so I can sort you, and then we will have a meeting to lay down the plan. You good with that?”

“Absolutely. Is this a once-off?” he asked Jess softly.

“Absolutely. I am done and I want to live my life in peace now, Spence.” She said sadly, but she was deadly serious.

“We need to just sort one more little thing that will kinda get your panties in a wad.” He pushed his hat back and scratched his head.

Game face on, Jess looked at him and asked, “What’s that?”

“Jerry Rydal? Well, he has been trying to put the ranch up for sale.” He said a bit hesitantly because he knew how Jess could go from calm to raging fury in a nano-second. “Every time he puts the ‘For Sale’ sign up, we take it down. He reasons that you are all gone for good and it is pointless holding onto the ranch.” Jess felt her blood start to boil and her ears popped. Taking a deep breath she asked, “Has he been in the house at all?”

“Hell yeah! Taking inventory and stock of what is inside.” Nodding her head slowly Jess rubbed her fingers along her lips.

“When did this begin?” Jess was still showing calm, but slowly she was becoming violently enraged by his betrayal.

“About a month or so after you all left. We tried talking to him and telling him to give it longer, but he would hear nothing of it.” Jess knew Spence and the other men would try and stop him, but they had trusted the old bastard with their livelihood.

“Do you know where he is now? At the ranch?” Jess stretched her neck and it cracked.

“Nah. Today is Thursday, he will be at his office.” Said Spence and shifted in his seat.

“Go there then.” Said Jessie quietly, but with a deadly edge to her voice that even Spence was wary of. Jessie may be a little thing, but she was massive in personality and something had changed in her since he last saw her. He wondered how much she had been through since they had left the ranch. He remembered watching Ben and Willy drill them as kids, her and Nick. Jessie outmatched Nick every time and eventually, she could outmatch Willy. When she had bested him he had said she was all good to go, but he remembered what Jess had told him, “No one is ever truly all good to go. There’s always something new to learn.” She had always been a gutsy kid with buckets of honor and loads of loyalty.

“Sure. We are about fifteen minutes away.” Spence said as Jess spotted buildings popping up on the horizon. “Uh, Jess, may I ask a question?” she didn’t look at him, but stared out of the windscreen at the road. “Sure.”

“What happened to your face?” he looked over at her and he saw she didn’t even flinch. A scar like that can’t bring a good memory with it, that much he did know.

Jessie shrugged and said simply, “I was attacked and he got the upper hand over me. Managed to move a little, but not enough.”

Spence left it alone but admired her grit. She was clearly determined to forget the incident so he didn’t want to bring it all up again.

“Right, here we are.” He said as he drove down the noisy main road and found parking across the road from the Rydal Attorney at Law offices.

Jess got out and walked with a straight back and squared shoulders across the road. Chin up, game face on, she told herself as she pushed the door open and looked at the receptionist who looked up at her, and then her gaze went over Jessie’s clothing choice as she closed the door.

“May I help you, miss?” asked the woman who had so much foundation on her face she looked almost plastic.

“Is Mr. Rydal in?” asked Jess softly.

“Yes, he is. Do you have an appointment?” and she glanced down at the book as Jess approached and leaned over the counter. Jessie saw he had a clear afternoon, so he had no clients to consult with right now.

“No, but he will see me.” Said Jess with a raised eyebrow.

“Oh, I am afraid you will have to make an appointment to see Mr. Rydal. He is very busy.” The receptionist was getting bitchy and Jess was not in the mood.

“Yeah,” said Jess sarcastically and glancing at the appointment book, “he sure looks fucken busy!” and she turned on her heel and headed down the passage towards his office with a gasping, spluttering receptionist struggling to get out of her chair and chase Jess.

“Miss! Miss! You cannot just come down here unannounced!” she squealed and squeaked, but Jess ignored her and bashed her way into Rydal’s office and came to a standstill with the receptionist almost crashing into her back and gasping, “Ohmigawd!” out loud behind her.

Rydal looked quite comical with a shocked expression on his face while trying to turn off his desktop and put his bits back in his pants. Jess stepped into his office and slammed the door in the staring, shocked receptionist’s face. She walked over to the chair in front of his desk and sat down. Struggling to compose himself and stop puffing he eventually pulled his chair toward his desk and looked at Jess with large eyes.

“Explain yourself, Jerry,” Jess said softly with a deadly calm that he could most certainly sense was dangerous calm.

Huffing and spluttering and clearly on the back foot his sickeningly squeaky voice grating on her nerves he said, “I was only doing what was in the best interest of all concerned.”

“Really?” Jess stood up and leaned on his desk, “To be quite honest I don’t care what you were planning. Get my family’s files please and pull up our files on your computer.” When it looked like he was about to argue Jess flared, “Get them! Now! Or I report you to the Law Society because my dear Mr. Rydal I think it is about time I had you independently audited. Perhaps the tax man would like to have a word with you too?”

“Well, I never! After all the years ...” he began indignantly, but Jess never let him finish.

“Yes, after all the years you have worked for us, Mr. Rydal. All the years you were paid your regular retainer. All the years of scoring off our profits. You still thought it was not enough and dipped into the accounts for more. You, Mr. Rydal, should feel fucking ashamed of what you have done and now tried to do by not protecting our interests, but trying to sell them off. You, Mr. Rydal, will now do as I am telling you, or I will be forced to take this all further and you will lose your license and probably end up in jail for fraud and malpractice. Now, be a good employer and get me what I want. Now!”

He picked up his phone and pressed a button, “Miss Bruss, please bring me everything you have for Kellie and their ranch Kellie’s Heart.” Before he could sign off Jess grabbed the phone out of his hand, “And Miss Bruss bring me all the financials for the Kellie Trust as well as an eight-gig memory stick, please and thank you.” And she handed the phone back to Rydal and saw how his face had gone pasty white.

Sitting back down Jess kept her eyes on Rydal and he looked at her nervously and twitched in his seat. She did not take her eyes off of him and he tried hard to avoid her gaze.

“How is your father?” asked Rydal and Jess remained silent and stared at him.

He opened his mouth to say something and there was a tap at the door. Before he could utter a sound Jess said loudly, “Come.” And Miss Bruss tottered in with an armful of files. She went to put them down on his desk but Jess stopped her. “Here, I will take those, thank you, Miss Bruss.” The woman didn’t even hesitate and handed the files to Jess and she pulled the memory stick out of her pocket.

“Ah yes, do you know how to access everything pertaining to my family’s files on Mr. Rydal’s desktop?” Jess asked her politely.

“Oh yes, Mr. Rydal asks me to do things for him on his desktop all the time.” Realizing her gaff with words she went beet read and tried to fix what she had said and Jess just held up her hand.

“Relax, I know what you meant.” Pointing at Rydal Jess said, “You, move out of the way.” And as he opened his mouth to protest Jess got up and grabbed the back of his chair and wheeled him out of the way.

“Come here, Miss Bruss, let’s get this done quickly. I am tired and I want to go home. I want everything cut and not merely copied. It all belongs to me and I am now taking possession of what’s mine.” And Miss Bruss efficiently walked to the desktop, plugged in the empty memory stick and found all the files Jess asked for, and Jess noticed a few extra files, but she said nothing and watched the receptionist cut and paste. Clearly, the woman knew what Rydal had been up to. A few minutes later she was done and gave the memory stick to Jessie and Jess thanked her. Jessie picked up all the files, which were quite a few, and turned towards the door and Miss Bruss opened it for her.

Turning back to Mr. Rydal Jess said, “Wait for my call. I will be in touch.” And she walked out and Miss Bruss closed the door behind them.

“I am so sorry, I didn’t know you were Jessie Kellie. If I had known I would have told you what he had been doing. For years, Miss Kellie.” Jess turned to her and saw her made-up face and thanked her for her kindness. “Be my ears and eyes, Miss Bruss?” Jess asked kindly and she nodded her head vigorously.

Smiling at her Jess walked out of the office and into the heat and sunshine. Walking quickly across the road Spence saw her and jumped out and opened the passenger door and the back door so Jess could put the files down.

“I gather the meeting didn’t go too well?” asked Spence

“Oh no, it went perfectly. I am very happy with the result.” Jess said as she got in the truck and Spence ran around to the driver’s side.

“Uh, you fired his ass?” asked Spence with a confused expression on his face.

“Nah, not yet. I have him by the balls, Spence, and that is always a good thing if you need something only a lawyer can get.” Jess leaned back and closed her eyes as Spence shook his head and moved the truck into traffic and headed back out of town and towards the ranch.

Jessie felt her emotions going wild as she began seeing her familiar world. The land that went all the way back to the ocean. The smells and the familiar trees and cars. The familiar houses and neighboring ranches. The smells most of all were what got Jess. She loved it all and she had missed it terribly.

As they reached the beginning of Kellie’s Ranch Jess asked Spence to stop on the side of the road and she got out and walked to the white fence and stood up on the first rung and looked out on the land and saw cattle and then she saw a familiar white body and putting her fingers against her lips she whistled and the horse raised his head and his ears pricked up and faced forward and Jess whistled again.

Spence joined her at the fence as her horse came flying across the field towards her. His mane and tail flew in the wind. Reaching into his pocket Spence handed her two peppermints as Baggy came to a sudden stop in front of Jess. He threw his head up and whinnied and blew out of his nose, shook his head, and stomped his hooves.

Jessie laughed and spoke to him and told him how much she had missed him and how happy she was to see him even though it looked like he had gained a few pounds. She laughed when he pulled his lips back and showed his old teeth. “I swear to god you’re almost human.” Jess laughed as she gave him his peppermints.

“Spence, meet me at the ranch house. I am going home on my Baggy boy.” Jess said happily as she climbed on the fence and then jumped onto Baggy’s back.

“It’s just you and me and the wind and the world at our feet, baby. Help me get over my hurting heart, my big boy.” And Baggy whinnied, shook his head and as he felt Jess fold her fists into his mane and lay across his neck he bolted and Jess laughed.

Feeling Baggy beneath her, the wind in her hair whipping her face, the beating hooves hitting the earth, and the smell of the ranch and the ocean on the other side of her land, Jess knew she would heal because she loved her home and she was truly glad to be back and appreciate it all over again.