I Am Jessamine

Jess and her mother pulled up to the entrance of Broch de Clisson and the old Duke was standing at the entrance holding a cane in one hand and with his other hand, he held the arm of his butler of sorts. Broch de Clisson was massive when compared to the O’Cleirigh mansion. There were something like eighty or so rooms and so many staff their quarters looked like a little village. Jess knew this now because when they past them she thought they were entering a village and asked its name. Her mother had laughed and told her it was the staff homes. Jess was very surprised at the size and when she saw the mansion she saw why. “You will need an army to run that place!” she had said astonished.

Her mother exited the carriage first and when the old man saw her his face lit up and he laughed out loud then Jessie stepped out from behind her the old man gasped out loud. Genevieve walked up to her father and kissed him on his cheek and he touched her face. “Oh lass, it’s been so long since I last saw you.” And he looked truly pleased. Jess wondered at this because her mom had been with the old man not that long ago and Jess wondered about dementia, but then she would soon figure she need not have worried about that at all.

Walking up to him Jessie didn’t quite know the protocol so she curtseyed in front of him and he reached out for her and said kindly, “Och lassie, please come closer so I can touch your face so I know it is truly you?” Jessie stepped closer and he looked into her eyes and touched her face with a shaky hand. “Aye, Deaglan is your image, my girl. Just as your mam told me.” He smiled so sweetly at Jess that she couldn’t help but feel warmth and compassion towards the old man.

Jess had decided to wear a dress that was made of a beautiful muslin and had flowers all over it. When Gray saw her before she had left he told her she looked like a real princess so she decided this had to be her favorite one.

“Come, come let us go inside out of this chilly weather. It gets into my bones and I struggle to thaw out.” The old man said with a soft laugh. Genevieve went on one side and Jess on the other and they linked arms with him and walked into his home. Jess thought she had stepped into a wonderland. Crystal glittered, gilded gold shone, spotless mirrors and white and black marble floors clicked as their shoes walked over them. A massive stained glass bank of doors stood before them and an army of ladies and men wearing their royal blue and silver livery with their powdered wigs and snow white stockings. It was like walking into, what Jess would have imagined being, a castle. Stairs on either side of the hall go up and up.

The old man led them through to what he called the family living room and Jess stood staring. It was simply magnificent. Leather and velvet and so colorful. Her grandfather saw her gazing around and he smiled. “I see you appreciate this room. My wife, your grand mam, decorated this room after we came back from Morocco. She brought most of the furniture and material with her as well as the lamps and chandelier.”

“It is so beautiful, colorful, and warm,” Jess murmured and looked at each and every item. The walls were orange and covered in Persian rugs of varying shades of orange, purple, red, and green with white and ivory was thrown in. The furniture was brown leather with throws and pillows and there were velvet upholstered oversized chairs that were in dusky pink with golden throws and pillows. There were intricately carved wooden tables and screens, tables of unusual woods inlaid with brass. Pots and plant holders were holding healthy green, leafy plants. There were plates on the walls and striped gold curtains with gold fluffy tie backs and the blazing fire made it have an otherworldly glow. Right in the middle of the ceiling, which also appeared to have a massive Persian rug hooked up, was the most beautiful stained glass chandelier that had gold chains that looked like tassels hanging from the center. Everything glowed and looked so inviting. A lot of love had gone into decorating this room, thought Jess.

Jess turned around and saw her mother and grandfather watching her and they smiled at her. “My mother loved this room and she loved showing it off,” Genevieve said with a wistful look on her face.

“Aye, you should see the formal parlor that she decorated after we went to France and were invited to the Palace at Versailles. She had so much fun decorating that room.” Her grandfather clearly remembered his late wife with fondness and love.

Genevieve patted his arm and then settled him into a chair nearest the roaring fire and a few of the servants entered with trays of drinks and food and set it all out on the beautiful wooden sideboard and quietly left. Genevieve walked over and poured her father a drink and made a plate for him and took them to him. He gratefully accepted and they relaxed and chatted and ate and drank amiably.

Her grandfather appeared to be a very warm and gentle man who encouraged others to talk about themselves and he listened. They spoke for a long while and when the butler arrived and spoke of dinner being served in two hours’ time Jess was astounded that so much time had passed and she had not even asked about Nick. Genevieve pulled a rope and a young maid entered. She told the young girl to escort Jess to her suite. The young girl bobbed and curtseyed and Jess followed her. They walked out of the family parlor and Jess found herself going up a flight of stairs that were covered in red carpet and paintings were all up the wall and tapestries. Jess struggled to take all of the opulence in. On the first floor, the young girl ushered her in through double doors and Jess stood in awe.

Everything was white with flashes of color here and there. Blue, silver, and grey Persian rug in the center of the room with a massive bed that had sheer white curtains draped from the ceiling over it. The closer she got Jess could see fine silver thread through the white bed drapes. In every corner or on every surface, some plants were so green that Jess thought they were plastic until she realized there was no plastic at that time. Touching them she realized they were real and felt foolish. It looked like a dreamland and Jess walked over to the doors that led out onto a private enclosed balcony and found white furniture and more plants. The only word Jess could think of was ethereal and it smelled so good too. Like the ocean and white sage and lemongrass. Turning back into the room and leaving the balcony doors open the young girl showed her the door leading from the room where there was a smaller room with a large tub and a fireplace that was already roaring. There was a large pot on the fire and a jug beside it. Jess knew indoor plumbing was still a couple of decades away, but this was lovely. Beside the tub was an ivory inlaid table with potions, perfumes, and salts in glass jars and vials.

Jessie saw her trunk in the corner of that room and the maid showed her where all her things were in another room leading off the bathing area. It was a walk-in closet that was the size of her room on the ranch back in the twenty-first century. All her dresses were hanging up as well as her leather clothing. There was a dresser with her brush and ribbons and hair ties and in the drawers were her stockings, gloves, belt, and arm warmers. Everything else was hanging up and in the open so that any damp or musty smells were avoided. In the corner of that room was a torso mannequin with her corset over it and Jess looked away as she was not fond of that item of clothing.

“If you are ready, mistress, I shall prepare your bath and help you to undress.” The young girl bobbed and curtseyed nervously.

“Please don’t stand on ceremony for me. What is your name?” Jess asked the girl.

“Maddie, mistress. I have to do my job, mistress.” She said looking down.

Looking at her Jess got the strangest sensation. “How long have you been working here, Maddie?”

“Near on six months, Mistress.” She said nervously wringing her hands.

“Really? This old place and new staff are still being hired? Very unusual.” Jess said and walked to the balcony.

“On no, Mistress, my grandmother worked here and my mother after her. When my mam passed on I took her place so that there is always a full company of staff for Broch de Clisson. A lot of families work this way so we know we will always have a roof over our head, food in our bellies, clothes on our back, and a wee bit of clink.” She said and smiled.

“Then why are you so nervous and afraid of me?” Jess asked with a raised eyebrow and a frown between her eyes.

“You are the first guest I have had to service, Mistress, and M’Lord made it clear you were to be given all due respect. Well,” she began and then faltered and Jess told her to go on and speak freely, “we here, have heard about you, Mistress.”

“Heard about me? Heard what and from whom?” asked Jess as she sat on the large settee on the balcony overlooking an enormous garden that was so beautifully designed and kept by the many gardeners pottering around.

Looking incredibly nervous with very pink cheeks the young girl looked down at her feet. “I’m begging your pardon, Mistress, but I am referring to the stories about you being the Faerie princess returned after a thousand years.”

Jess nodded and sighed, “I can assure you that I am human and I would so appreciate it if you treat me as just a normal member of the household. I am no better than you or anyone else so please, treat me as you would your friend.”

“Just saying that makes me believe the stories, but we believers do keep it to ourselves. Only true believers talk about it and we will protect you as much as we can. We always knew you would return and insist on being treated like everyone else. You are rare, Mistress, and since your return so many things have turned around and people are now so happy. No matter where you are or where you go, your strong and positive spirit will always be with your people in Ireland.” She bobbed and curtseyed into the bath room and began filling the tub and Jess simply sat staring at nothing in particular wondering if she will ever find out how a story like that spreads. She smiled and thought that their grape vine works as fast as mobile phones

Jess bathed and dressed for dinner in one of her new dresses from Beatrice. This one was pale blue and made of silk and felt so light that she couldn’t help but feel like a fairy, and she laughed at herself at this thought.

Entering the family parlour she found her mother sitting near the fire warming her hands. “Mom, I want to see Nick,” Jess said and her mother turned to her with tears in her eyes and Jess became concerned for her and went to her side.

“What is wrong?” Jess was afraid of what her mother was going to say.

“I’ve just come from seeing him and he was not very kind. The staff do not like going near him because of how ugly he is toward them. He keeps demanding the keys to the rooms. Not even the staff trusts him. Your grandfather will not even go near him! Oh, Jessie, what will become of him?” she sobbed into her hands and Jess tried to comfort her.

“Where is he, mom?” Jessie asked and her voice was hard.

Genevieve looked up at her daughter and shook her head, “No, Jessie. I can’t let you go in there alone with him. God knows what he will do. He is blaming you for everything. I don’t know how he rationalises that, but he is.”

“Listen to me, mom. I know Nick and I am very aware of what he is capable of. Remember, it was me he belted on the head and abducted and I managed to give him a good hiding. I can, and I will, do it again if I have to. Let me worry about myself and you worry about Nick. I will ask one of the staff to take me to him.” Jessie turned to leave the room and then remembered something and turned back to her mother, “Mom, what do you know of people thinking I am the Faerie child that has been returned?”

Genevieve stood and took Jessie in her arms and hugged her tightly and then let her hand drift towards the nape of her neck and traced her fingers over Jessie’s birthmark. “When I saw this the day you were born even I knew you were special Jessie. When I got back here I found out all I could and it all fit perfectly. You were born a thousand years after the child was given to the Faeries and you had the mark of the wings on your neck in a place where all can see it but only a few do see it. When I was birthing you and Willy was helping me, I felt I could not go on as I was so tired and I just wanted to close my eyes, but then I had a strong smell of wild jasmine and lemongrass and then this voice called to me. It was a woman’s voice and she said, ‘Do not offend me by forsaking my gift to you, Genevieve. I promised to return the child and I have done so, but because I love her so, I will protect her for all of her days on earth and when it is her time to return to spirit she will decide where she will go, but for now bring her into this world safely and love her and do only right by her’.” Genevieve sighed, “I then had the energy to birth you, and Willy was the one who saw the mark and pledged his fealty, loyalty, and protection to you and I asked him to give you your second name and be your godfather.” Genevieve took her at arm’s length and looked into her eyes, “Do you know that your name is the Persian variant of jasmine and your second name means radiant?” she asked with a wistful smile.

“Yes, I believe so.” She hugged her mom and said, “Don’t wait for me at supper.” And she quickly rushed from the room before her mother could say anything else.

As Jess walked into the hall she ran into Maddie and asked her quickly, “How do I get to Nicholas’s quarters?” and the poor girl looked fit to faint. “Relax girl, I am not asking you to come with me. I just need to know how to get there. He is my brother and I need to speak with him.” Jess said hurriedly.

“He’s your brother?!” it was a question and an exclamation, but Jess ignored it and simply lifted her eyebrows in question.

“Oh dear, you will get lost. Come, I will take you quickly, but please make sure you take one of the guards by the door with you when you enter and then the other one can stay outside the door.” She looked at Jessie’s frown and said, “Just in case.”

Finally, after rushing down corridors and opening and closing doors they came to a long dull looking passage that looked as though it had been neglected. “Ah, here we are. Just keep walking down this corridor and at the end there,” she pointed off into the darkened corridor, “you will see two very big men standing outside the door. That is where he is.” Bobbing and curtseying Maddie ran off and Jess didn’t try to stop her. She was an anxious person already and she didn’t want to make it worse for the poor girl.

Jess walked down the long dark passage and finally saw the two very large men. Maddie had not exaggerated, thought Jess. These men looked like linebackers with gear on. “Evening, I want to go and see my brother. Would you mind opening up the door for me?” The two men glanced at each other and then down at Jess, and rolling her eyes she said, “One of you can come with me just in case he tries something, alright?”

They moved aside and one guard opened the door as Jess and the other guard entered “Thank you.”

This room was nothing like the one she was occupying. There was no balcony and only the barest essentials like a bed, washstand, chest of drawers, and a tub. One very large carpet covered the floor.

Jess saw her brother laying on the bed and beside him, on the floor, lay an overturned plate of food and a dented goblet. Jess noticed the plate and goblet were copper and not glass or ceramic. Nick had obviously broken enough so they were now trying something else.

“Hello Nick,” Jess said and he slowly took his arm away from his eyes.

“Get this mess cleaned up!” he said rudely to the guard and Jess put out her arm as the guard stepped forward and stopped him.

“Clean your mess up yourself you ungrateful child!” Jessie said quietly, but with such venom. The guard jerked his head back and stared in shock at Jess and she frowned at him and he moved back a space.

Nick sat up and flung his legs over the bed, “What do you want Jess?” and he stared at her so angrily she could feel the heat from his gaze, but Jess simply stared back looking very bored.

“What do you think you are doing? Why are you being so unkind to the people who are trying to help you and who are feeding you? Because you hate yourself don’t throw that shade at everyone else, Nick.” And she tilted her head to one side.

“Oh my god, don’t come with your psychology mumbo jumbo please! I want to leave here and go back home and these fucken assholes won’t let me out of here!” He screeched and pointed a finger at the guard who stood stoically, but his eyes grew large at Nick’s language.

“Go back home? Home where? Which are you referring to, Nick?” Jess asked with a frown.

“What? Are you dumb or just slow? I want to go back to Kellie’s Heart ranch.” He started pacing beside the bed.

“You are no longer welcome there Nick, and like I told you, daddy left the ranch to me in his will.” She shrugged and raised her hands in a helpless gesture.

“I don’t believe you! He would never have done that and if he has it is because you have done something. You probably forged his signature or something. Like I told you before. I will contest that will. You are a greedy, selfish, insensitive bitch!” The guard took two very quick strides forward and slapped Nick across the face and the blow sent him flying onto his bed.

Lifting his chin a little higher the large guard said menacingly quietly, “Use language like that again and you will feel my fist breaking your teeth.” Pulling his jacket straight, and sticking his chin out the guard turned and stood behind Jessie again.

Nick lay on the bed holding his face and screaming like he was being slaughtered and the other guard quickly entered. As Jess and the first guard turned Nick jumped off the bed and ran to grab Jessie, but she was ready for him and she dropped down onto her knees and rammed her fist into his groin. Nick sank to the floor with his mouth open and air hissing from his throat. Holding his hands cupped over his groin the guards picked Nick up, one at each arm, and unceremoniously dumped him on the bed.

Another maid entered and quickly began cleaning his tipped over plate and the food off the floor and as she turned to leave Jessie stopped her and took the tray away from her and used her head to indicate she must leave. Jess then walked over to the drawers and placed the tray there.

Turning back to her brother she said, “No one will replace any food you throw on the floor. Your glass of wine has been wasted, but there is a jug of water. You can drink that.” Showing the guard, with her hand extended, that she wished to leave he tapped on the door and the guard outside opened it and Nick shouted at her petulantly, “Fine! I will starve myself and then see how far that gets you!”

“You won’t starve yourself, Nicky, you are far too narcissistic for that to happen.” And Jess laughed softly when she looked around, “Thank god you have no mirror in here.”

As the door was closing he shouted, “What do you want?” but Jessie ignored him and with a nasty smile on her face she told the guards to lock the door.

Arriving at the parlour she saw her mother had prepared a plate of food for her and she smiled gratefully and sat down at one of the small tables that were meant just for two and Gray slid, yet again, into her thoughts. Oh, how I miss you Grayson, she thought sadly.

As she ate she filled her mother and grandfather in on what had happened with Nick and what her instructions had been to them. Her mother looked mortified, but her grandfather nodded and asked Jessie to tug on the rope. The gentleman they had seen at the door when they first arrived, entered and quietly asked, “Yes, M’Lord?” and her grandfather pointed at Jess and said, “My granddaughter has given instructions for the staff that I want them to heed. Should I find this instruction is being flouted at any time or for any reason it will be at the staffs own peril.”

“Yes, sir.” And then bowing slightly to Jess he said, “And your instructions are Mistress?”

“I have left food for my brother on the dresser in his room. No one is to enter and give him food or drink. I shall, personally, do so every morning.” Jess looked at the butler and he bowed his head.

“Thank you, Mistress. I shall make certain everyone knows of your instructions.” Bowing again and giving Jess a slightly relieved smile he left the room.

“There, now you can be certain everyone will hear about your punishment for him throwing his food about like a child. We were reaching the end of our tether and I wanted to kick his backside right out of my home. I do believe there is some malady in his head. Perhaps he fell on it as a boy?” he asked and Jess shook her head and smiled at the old dear.

“Not that I am aware of.” And more seriously she said, “I know Nick has information that he is not giving me and I will, one way or another, get it out of him. He really does not behave or sound like the Nicholas I grew up with, but like I said, I may have been prejudiced to his behaviour as he was always my big brother.”

“Did he ever hurt you, lass?” her grandfather asked with his head tilted as though listening to another voice.

“Hurt me? As in what way? We used to do all sorts of mischievous things as we grew up and, yes, there were times I would get hurt. Oh, Nick was not immune to getting hurt either, but he has no scars I can think of.” Jess laughed and took a sip of wine, “I have all of those!” Setting her glass down she looked up and her mother and grandfather were staring at her and she frowned slightly, “Nick did stupid things and he would dare me to do things or maybe taunt me,” Jess stopped talking and looked at her mother, “Oh dear, I see it now. He would dare me to climb a tree he knew was old and dry and falling apart and if I said no he would tease me and call me names and I would get mad and climb the tree anyway. Even though my voice of reason was telling me not to. He once dared me to swim across the creek on our ranch and when I got to the other side I was so tired I had to stay there for an hour or so and could only swim back as the sun was setting and then walk home alone freezing because he had taken my towel.” Jessie stared at her mother and couldn’t believe how blinded she had been by her loyalty to her brother and she brought her hand up to her mouth. “Oh dear god, mom. There were many times like that I can think of.” Jessie choked on tears and an ugly sensation crawl up her throat, “He must have thought me a simpleton and I just let him take advantage and treat me like a fool.” Jessie felt incredibly sick, but still, she defended Nick. “No, Nick has goodness in him. I have seen it. Perhaps we are reading too much into these childish shenanigans. He helped me a lot too and was always there for me when I needed him. I can think of many times he defended me.” She dropped her head into her hands and shook her head.

Rushing over to her daughter Genevieve fell to her knees in front of Jess, “No Jessie, no. You are honourable and loyal and you love deeply and with all you have and your brother knew that and saw in himself that he was not as good as you and he hurt you for his own failings. This is not on you Jessie. This is all on Nicholas.” Genevieve said breathlessly and held her daughters hands tightly in her own.

“That boy needs a sound thrashing, I tell you. Back in my day no child would ever have behaved in such a revolting manner. It is quite shocking and deplorable.” The old man’s brows knitted tightly together over his eyes and Jess felt so sorry for him. This was his first grandchild and he was being treated so badly by him.

After a moment of silence as everyone composed themselves the old man said something that nearly brought the roof caving in. “He must certainly take after his bloody father then. That man has been a menace for far too long and I am highly grateful that measures have been taken to bring him off his high and mighty pedestal. I wrote out my own affidavit, you know?” he looked at Jess and lifted his chin proudly and Jess just sat and stared at him with big eyes wondering how her mother was taking his statement, but Jess was too afraid to look in her direction.

It was, once again, the old man who broke the silence when he looked over at Genevieve and then reached over and patted he hand, “Your mother and I may have been a bit long in the tooth when we had you and your brother, my dear, but that did not make us blind and stupid. We suspected what had happened and then when Nicholas came along we watched him very carefully and it was your mother who predicted the child that which is now turning out to be quite accurate.” The old man looked at his daughter sadly, “I just wish you would have confided in us and not gone through with it all on your own, but you were such a headstrong girl.” He sighed sadly, “Please tell me Ben did not know?” he suddenly appeared very concerned.

Genevieve sat staring at the old man and she was clearly in shock as she seemed not to be able to find the right words to say. Finally she took a deep breath and whispered to her father in a very sad voice, “I so wanted to tell you and mother, but I could not risk Ben finding out and breaking his heart. I had no idea that either of you suspected or then even noticed anything when Nicholas came along. His dark hair and blue-green eyes were not much like his fathers’ coloring so I decided to remain silent.” Genevieve had her hand over her heart and was breathing very hard, as though she was having an anxiety attack.

Jessie jumped up and pushed her mother forward and placed her head between her knees and then ran and pulled the rope. The butler had barely entered when Jessie shouted for really cold water and a cloth and then demanded the cook come to her.

Jessie knelt in front of her mother encouraging her to control her breathing and to breathe with her. The door opened and a bowl was set down before Jess with the cloth and the cook came running in, puffing and panting, a few seconds later.

“How impressive is your herbal stores?” Jess asked as she placed the cloth across her mother’s neck.

“Very impressive, Mistress,” Cook replied with a frown on her face.

“Alright, I am looking for camomile tea, steeped for five minutes and then poured into a metal goblet, and not a cup. If you have vervain,” at the shake of the cook’s head Jess frowned and continued, “fine then I will take Valerian?” the cook nodded and said, “I am not sure how to prepare it or the dosage.”

“Bring the root to me with a pot and water. It needs to be boiled. Quick, go now.” And the cook was off at a sprint as Jess administered to her mom.

Jess finally placed her mother on the settee and worried because Genevieve was so pale. In a short time the cook came bustling back with a maid carrying a goblet of camomile tea on a tray and extra in a brass pot.

Checking and then cutting the root to the approximate size she knew was needed, Jess told the cook to put the pot on the fire and to add the root just before the water began boiling and let it come to the boil to soften, and then she could go and Jess would do the rest.

Sitting her mother up carefully she made her drink the tea and her mother wanted to know how she knew about these herbs and Jess began telling her of her interest in how one is able to prepare all sorts of things for ailments from natural resources. “For example, valerian root is a very good anti-anxiety herb. What I am doing for you in the pot is preparing a tincture that you will be able to take about an hour before bedtime. I boil the root until it is soft and the water changes color and then I allow the water to boil down a bit so that you have more valerian than water. Then I take the pot off the heat and allow it to cool and when the water is warm enough I literally squeeze the root to get all the goodness out. After that, I pour it into a bottle and shove a cork in the top and there you go. One tablespoon should do it for you, mom.”

Genevieve was astounded and thought Jessie the cleverest person in the world but in truth, people had been using herbs for centuries and Jess was simply drawing on that knowledge, as she told her mom.

Once everyone had settled down, her mom had colour, grandfather was not looking so utterly panicked and Jess felt she could breathe she said, “Right, so no more secrets. Which is a good thing so everyone knows exactly where they are in the family circle.” Her mother and grandfather agreed and the mood lifted a little and then Jess asked, “Grandfather, what exactly is your name?”

Suddenly the mood lifted somewhat and laughter filled the room, but the ear pressed to the door outside remained exactly where it was.