SWNOVELS HUGE STEPS: Chapter 20
I press my hand to my lower abdomen, trying to imagine the tiniest of things growing inside me. A baby. Who would’ve thought?
Even standing in front of my mirror doesn’t seem to shake the crazy feeling that I’m living someone else’s life right now. It doesn’t seem like much – there’s barely anything other than bloat going on – but it’s funny how I can still tell something’s different going on with my body.
I’m finishing putting dressing in my work clothes and slip my shoes on, checking my dresser for a stray hair tie to pull my frizzy mess of hair up off my neck when the doorbell rings.
Jamie and Jared left not even fifteen minutes ago, so I guess that one of them has left something. I open the door with a smile on my face, excited to see my boys again so soon, but the person standing in front of me once I open it is the person I least want to see. Struggling to process the whole scene, I brace myself against the doorframe, feeling like something just knocked the wind out of me. ‘Cody?’ I wheeze. ‘What the hell are you doing here?’
Even though he knows that I rarely use that kind of language, it doesn’t seem to distract him at all as he thrusts a bouquet of slightly wilted roses and baby’s breath in my face. ‘Abigail. God, I’ve missed you,’ he says. He smiles as though he’s been out of town for work. Everything feels wrong.
‘You’ve missed me,’ I repeat, shocked. How does he have the audacity to say that after what he put me through? How does he have the nerve to even come to my apartment?
I look around, not wanting anyone to see him here
I’m baffled. Is he here to apologize? What does he think, that a few soft words will change things? Even if I wasn’t pregnant I’d be telling him to get away from me. My insides churn as much from anger as from sickness. I’m about to tell him to go when he pulls out a box of chocolates and a small black box.
I take a step back. He opens it to reveal the same engagement ring I had my friend Bailey give back to him a few days after the engagement party disaster.
‘This is yours, Abigail. It’s not meant to be in a box, it’s meant to be on your finger. I made a mistake. A really stupid mistake but I promise I won’t do it again. Marry me, Abigail. Marry me and I’ll do everything I can to make it up to you.’
His expression is smug as though he’s expecting me to fall into his arms and forget about everything. He thinks that I still love him. That I still want him.
What I want to do it kick him right in the face.
Better still, laugh. The man is delusional. It’s all too much. Before I get a chance to say anything, he slips past me. I’m so stunned by all of the past sixty seconds, that I can only look on, disoriented, as he plops the flowers and chocolates down haphazardly onto the coffee table. Somewhere in the back of my brain, I recall that the coffee table was something we went and brought together.
‘You don’t mind if I come in so we can talk, right?’ he asks, even though he’s already inside. Good ol’ Cody. Always just assuming his way.
He walks right up to me, holding out the opened box, the ring’s diamonds glinting under the light.
I take a step back, not wanting to have anything to do with the stupid thing, or Cody, for that matter. His blue eyes widen and do the thing that I used to love, where they crinkle in the corners as he smiles. I grit my teeth, willing myself not to be stupid.
‘God, Abigail, if you only knew what was going on inside my head. It was cold feet…I kept thinking that maybe I was just unsure about committing to you. I didn’t want to marry you at the wrong time and then potentially ruin your life later on. I just—’
But I hold up my hand, already feeling the sting of his empty words that only sound pretty. ‘Nope. It’s my turn. You literally had three years to figure all that out already, Cody,’ I say, counting to three on my fingers. ‘Do I need to say it again? Three. Years. And let’s not forget, you’re the one who proposed to me, remember? If you weren’t sure about committing, then why in the world did you think it was a good idea to ask me to marry you? Ah-ah, I’m not done,’ I quickly add, refusing to let him get a word in. ‘You’ve always had a nasty habit of flaking out on all of our plans. I just never thought our actual relationship would be one of them. And now you’re here with the ring…like it’s going to convince me to go back to you. Is that what you think?’
Cody drops his gaze to the floor, and for the first time in recent memory, he actually looks pretty guilty. I mentally smack myself in the head. Nope, not going to fall for it.
‘I understand, but maybe if you just give us another chance, we can fix this. I can fix this. We owe it to ourselves, don’t you think?’
This time I really do smack myself in the forehead, lightly. ‘No, I don’t think.’
‘Okay, okay. I mean like, not right away. Just…over time. You remember how things were between us…well, we can get that back.”
I suddenly hate every single thing I ever said to him to inflate his already too-big ego. It’s so unfair of him to just come into my life all over again, trying to make himself sound like he makes sense, with words that should hold more water than they actually do.
‘Ugh. I cannot hear stuff like this right now, Cody! This isn’t fair to me for you to just waltz in here like this!’
He’s like a shark with the scent of blood dripping one tiny drop at a time—he rushes right in to take advantage. ‘Oh, come on, Abi. You and I both know we work so well together. All the ways we’ve been together, it’s always been perfect,’ he croons closer to me and snakes his hand up my arm, trying to rub my shoulder like he used to before we’d go to bed.
I shake his hand off feeling totally creeped out. ‘No. We’re not doing this.’
‘But if we could just try. You know what? You don’t even have to do anything—leave it all to me. I’ll grovel if you want, I don’t even care anymore, Abi. Babe, I just want to try and work it out with you.’ There’s a definite note of desperation in his voice. It’s not often you hear Cody’s voice crack from its usual confident tenor.
“Cody, I’m busy. You need to get the heck out. Now.’ I point to the front door, impatiently.
“Okay. I’ll come back. I get that you’re busy.”
‘Get out, Cody,’ I say through gritted teeth, unable to care less whether this hurts his feelings or not. Shoving at him, I finally get the point across, and Cody laughs as if it’s all just some big joke.
‘Okay, I’m gone, I’m gone. Just think about what I said!’ he says, that stupid laugh making me only want to physically remove him even more. I practically slam the door shut behind him, locking it and bolting it up just because.
The very last thing I want to think about right now is anything that just came out of Cody’s mouth,
My stomach heaves, and I have to make a run for it to the bathroom, emptying the quick breakfast I made for the three of us earlier, into the toilet.
Morning sickness. After seeing Cody and being in his presence, vomiting seems like the only appropriate response.