SWNOVELS HUGE STEPS: Chapter 19
Abi’s sleeping, her hair a tangled coppery mess on the pillow.
I meet Jamie’s gaze, the unspoken agreement to slip out of bed and talk about what just went down, already in the air.
Tossing a towel to him, I pull another one around my own waist and follow him into the small living room, hopefully out of earshot from Abi. The floor creaks like a warning to us, and we both freeze, listening to make sure she’s still breathing softly and evenly before we sit down.
This isn’t like the last time, where my adrenaline was steadily pumping, pushing me for more of Abi, for another shot of her straight to the heart. This is different. Man, when they say babies change everything, they really mean it.
Jamie settles back further into the couch and crosses his arms—his defensive move. It’s like he’s trying to brace himself for whatever else is about to happen.
‘So that just happened. Again.’
The clock on the wall loudly ticks the seconds as I think of what to say. ‘There goes taking everything slow, I guess.’ It was something Jamie and I have brought up here and there over the past week…ever since Abi told us she was pregnant. We didn’t want to overwhelm her with our feelings, especially since we had no idea what she planned on doing. Taking it slow and easy with her was supposed to be the first step in making this all work. At least, that was the original idea. But now? Looking at the space that separates me and my brother, I know the truth. We’re in it. For life. Taking it slow or not, it won’t matter to us.
But that’s if everything else lines up just right, too. Including Abi’s actions and words. ‘Can we really do this, though?’ I whisper hoarsely, not at all surprised by the way my throat tightens up around the thought. ‘We’re talking next-level kind of stuff, here, Jamie. This isn’t just sharing some random wild drunken night with a girl, and then leaving the next morning. The sex is one thing, sure, but this is serious. This goes beyond just the night. It spans from now until forever. This is making a family work, no matter what.’
At least Jamie considers my words for more than a nano-second before shaking his head. ‘Look, I get it, Jared. We already know all that. And if we ever wanted to have this…this whole family thing on our own…I don’t know, man. We’ve gotta face the facts, here. Anytime one of us is dating someone, it always creates a big problem. It’s irritating as hell when someone pulls us apart because you and I both know we’ve always been too close and too jealous. Remember when you were dating Andrea a few years ago? She complained that I was always around and thought it was creepy or something. Then Hazel…she had the balls to tell you to your face that you needed to back the hell off so she could fuck me in my room whenever she felt like it. We don’t want more of that shit, Jared. This whole thing? It fits like a fucking puzzle piece, no matter how weird it may seem to anyone outside looking in. Doesn’t it just…make sense?’ he points out, pleading with me.
‘Do you think you can deal with not knowing which of us is the father?’
I don’t know why I keep thinking up every worse-case-scenario here. Maybe I’m just projecting all my worries, hoping Jamie can come up with a decent solution. My gut twists, reminding me that things don’t always go as planned. I can’t imagine a world where Jamie and I resent each other—it’s impossible. Trying to imagine a world without Abi in my arms at night cuts like a sharp blade.
Jamie leans forward, nudging me with his fist. ‘I can,” he says. Any child of yours would be like a child of mine. Can you?’
I nod. He’s right. I’d love his kid like my own, in this situation or another. “I feel the same.”
‘ Jamie nods. ‘So, then…’
‘We’re good?’ The words hang in between us, heavy. This feels like the most momentous conversation and we’re both sitting in towels to have it.
‘Yeah,’ he finally agrees. ‘We’re good.’