Honored (Book 2 of the In Search of Honor series)

Dan led me back to the mover. It was a short trip that let out on another hallway. It was all the same. My chair rolled along next to him with his footsteps the loudest noise in the lifeless world of the Wall. Where could we go that we could proceed to exist? There was nothing because his fate was already made, and mine was soon to come.

Cyber people. I much preferred Cat’s term for the combination of human and Wall creation. The words promised that they were people.

A wall slid open to reveal the gigantic staging area. We were at the gate. “You’re here!” A voice called out and then said something softer that I couldn’t hear. Cloaked figures scurried around, and Dan walked to the looming gigantic door that served at the gate to the Wall with my chair continuing to keep up with him. It felt similar to my death walks, except this wasn’t toward death, and I had no control of the pace. It was not my feet leading. It was a chair dragging me toward a future I wasn’t prepared to face. Sure, I’d read books, but how do books prepare one to speak to a city of people waiting to hear how someone would be their salvation? How did history prepare me to write a government? I was a nobody. An angry little girl who was mad at being Dishonored.

No one cared that I felt unprepared. I was their puppet to serve at their whim. I was not ready for this. I would never be ready for this. Dan was next to me, but with his cold indifference to the situation he might as well have not been standing there.

“She looks perfect for the occasion,” A cloaked Wall man’s voice said near us.

Dan nodded, “Cat’s personal style is logically eccentric, but her choices this time around look quite aesthetically pleasing.”

His foreign use of Wall language made it feel as if my chair was moving away from him, from all of these people.

The grand door cracked open, the purple light filtering into the massive hall. Dan walked toward it, my chair dragged along next to him, an unwilling captive.

The chatter of many voices bombarded my ears and we advanced into an open area ringed by a mass of dim bodies silhouetted by the blinding purple light that shone through the dome.

The din of the crowd stopped as my chair moved out from the shadows inside the gate into the blocked off road. I must look like some strange wizard to these people. A Wall person more than a City person. Was I more Wall person now? A City person wouldn’t still be alive.

The mass of people extended out from the small space near the gate that was blocked by a line of city guards. People hung out windows and sat on roofs. Every space that could have a person did have a person.

There was a small cluster of well dressed people within the empty space held by the guards. A bald man dressed in a shiny green suit stepped out of the cluster toward me and smiled. “Most Honored, no, Highest Honored, we welcome you to speak.”

The crowd was watching me. Waiting for me to say words of wisdom. That or they were just staring at the strange contraption I was sitting in.

Dan held out one of the black boxes toward me to speak into, but the green suited man grabbed it first, “Today, this most prestigious of days, I, Most Honored Delvin Fairfield, am honored to present to you the new Highest Honored, Elizabe-”

Dan snatched the back box from him. The man bowed toward Dan and I, but I could see the smirk in his grin. He’d wanted to claim me as just another upper crust of the City.

I took the box Dan was carefully holding in front of me, away from the man’s hands.

“I will not claim some lofty title like ‘Highest Honored’. I am a nobody. I was Dishonored.” I held up my branded hand. “I am nothing more than the Exile who has returned.” I pointed to my branded cheek.

“Honor is something that belongs to you, and no one else can determine it. No system can say ‘You have no honor because you were born without honor.’ Free yourself from these structures put in place to control you. I will introduce an alternative to the control forced by the King. I will destroy Honor.” Was that even the right term for what I was doing? I was blabbering on and I wasn’t even quite sure where the words were coming from. Faintly, I could hear people cheering as if they knew this was what they were supposed to do when I paused.

“A new system will be put in place. A system designed by the people of this City, for its people. A system that allows you to choose who will make rules and who will not. It is an old system, a way still at work outside these walls brought back to the City to free the people here!” The cheers were louder now, as if these words actually excited people.

“All I ask of you today is that every section of the city chose a person to represent them for the making of these new rules. We will begin meeting tomorrow to form the new system. All talks will be public and anyone can attend. They will be held on the ground in front of the old castle.” No one was cheering. I need some motivational way to end the speech. “Tomorrow, we will build a new and better future for the City!” A thunderous applause and cheering.

Now it was my turn to bow out. I waved at the crowds and looked over at Dan who had control of my chair. It rolled back toward him.

“Are you finished?” He asked.

“Yes. Let’s go find somewhere quiet.” I could feel a headache starting up and my body felt tired. My whole body ached. Was I feeling something in my legs? Excitement welled up in my chest, but I was afraid. What if it wasn’t real. I couldn’t confirm here with everyone watching.

I waited, as Dan walked in front of me and a small path was cleared for us to move through. I barely noticed the people I was waving at. I wanted to confirm if I was actually feeling something in my legs!

There were so many people around! Dan kept walking, as if he knew exactly where we were going, which was probably true. Becoming a cyberman seemed to give the person all sorts of knowledge.

I would rather have back the old Dan who held me close before walking away. No, I couldn’t think that way. He was the same person. No matter what they did to him he was still Dan.

We came out of an alley to one of the larger roads leading toward the center. People were lining this street as well, but not blocking off the street like the main entrance road. I was never going to get a chance to test the feeling in my leg. Or maybe I could a bit more secretively? I lifted the hand that was resting on the arm of the chair and started waving with it, before dropping my other arm onto my lap as if it was tired. Nothing. I couldn’t feel the wait of my arm on my lap. I couldn’t feel the finger tapping the dead limb. It was nothing more than a feeling that I should be sore.

I just wanted this long walk to end. To lay down and go to sleep. The excitement and drumming of my heart fled, and a heavy blanket settled down over my head. How much longer?

Was this a place I recognized? It reminded me of my old family home. Was I staying at a Most Honored house? They probably did have the most space for me to stay.

“The Revacks have agreed to house you until the talks are finished,” Dan answered my unasked question.

Did I know the Revacks? The name wasn’t familiar.

The estate felt so familiar. All the estates were similar though. I blinked and we were at the entrance.

Dan gently scooped me out of my chair, and I could only feel his arm on my back. I really was only half a person now wasn’t I?

He was saying something to a person at the door, but I couldn’t quite hear. I leaned my head against Dan’s shoulder, and let the darkness that was pushing against the edges of my vision overtake me.

Goodnight, my love.