His Love In Time: Volume I

LOOKING AROUND, I BEGIN TO SAY, “WHERE AM I NOW?”

Michael always told me that if I ever were to die, truly die, that I would stop existing. But I can’t help but wondering how that’s possible if I was never to live in this timeline, to begin with. It’s a peaceful atmosphere around me, that is for sure. I don’t have to worry about anything. This place is peaceful to the point that I could just lay here, in the sand, forever.

It dawns on me; I am laying in the sand. How can I not exist if sand is beneath me? It is impossible, after all… This reminds me a lot of the beginning.

“Is that where I am?!” I yell, hoping to hear some confirmation of my whereabouts. “Answer me when I am talking to you!” I look up at the clear blue sky. But all I am getting is dead air.

Hoping that I will find some answers, I choose to walk around for a while.

I look up to find the sun, but regardless of the clear blue sky, the sun is nowhere.

“Where am I? I say out loud. “Huge desert, pretty much, no sun. It isn’t hot, but it isn’t cold… Maybe I am dead.”

I begin my treacherous hike to nowhere, thinking about what life would be like if I had never gone to work that day. I have had such an incredible journey, to find out that it ends me here. I will never find out what my child looks like in my arms. I will never get to see anything ever again.

Walking around here makes me feel like Gabriel and Michael are standing beside me, hidden in plain sight, making fun of me.

I have been walking for more than a few hours, and I have not seen any signs of life. I haven’t even seen any water. I attempt to stretch my wings out, but nothing happens. Even my halo has gone missing. The more I walk, the harder it is to have hope. I, eventually, walk up to a set of footprints.

At last, there is hope! Someone else is here. I begin to run in the direction of the footprints but stop. “These are my footprints.”

I turn in whatever direction I have not gone, and begin to walk in that direction. Then another direction. Then another and another. Before long, I have walked in every direction that I can think of.

“My sword is gone, my wings are gone, my halo is gone. I can’t even pretend that I am on a deserted island… because there is no water!”

I sit down in the center of all of my footprints and lean back. I look up towards the sky, with my thoughts to myself. Just looking around, breathing. At least I think I am breathing.

While sitting in my new thinking spot, a small bunny comes hopping to me. He is bright white with golden markings on his fur. I have never seen a rabbit like this; his markings make him unique. Golden star-shaped markings align his coat. These markings appear to be going back and forth, all over the base of his fur. I rub my eyes, thinking that I am on drugs or something. Every part of this bunny is alive,and not just because of his breathing patterns, but even the fur has a mind of its own. The rabbit gives me a sense of peace, love, and joy. Something that can be found, in the presence of God. He looks at me with curiosity.

The bunny hops around me, stopping every few seconds to sniff the air. He stands on his hind legs, sniffing the air, and is back to it. The bunny hops away, then charges at me like he was trying to play with me. It is adorable. When the rabbit gets winded, he nestles his soft, wet, nose into my hands on my lap. Though this is the first sign of life I have seen in a while, I am not amused.

“I’m sorry little guy; I cannot move. I’m extremely thirsty.”

The bunny looks off in the distance behind me. I turn to look at what the rabbit is looking at, turning around and he is gone.

I lay down, thinking that I am by myself once again.

A few moments later, I am startled by the feeling of a cold, wet nose on my arm. It is the bunny, but he has something with him. A large leather sack, bigger than the rabbit. I sit up and pick the bag up. It has water and a lot of it.

I drink every last drop.

The bunny runs away, then runs back at me. Either he was playing with me, or he is hinting at something. “Do you want me to follow you, little buddy?”

The bunny hops three steps towards me, raises up his head, and stares at me. Almost like an animal begging.

“Alright, lead the way. Just an FYI, there’s nothing over there,” I say with a chuckle. I stand up, brush the sand off of me and begin the journey, once again, down the path that I have already been on.

Curiosity is getting the better of me after all this bunny brought me water.

I follow the bunny down the same path I have already taken. Stepping into the footprints that were previously there. After a short while, however, the rabbit is creating little sand-stones with his feet. It is remarkable for sure. I look behind me and see that the new path is coming out of the sand. The sky begins to change colors. Like an Arizona sunset with many colors. The blue and orange, mix with pink and red. There is also a golden glow aligning the edge of the colors. The sand around us starts to sprout lush green grass, and clouds begin to form in the sky. They are taking shapes of bubbles and hearts and even streamers. A soft breeze greets my face, as the streamer of clouds sways in the wind. I can’t make any sense of what I am seeing, but it is beautiful. Perhaps this is going to be my paradise. “Just me, the beauty, and Mr. Hopper,” I say jokingly. The bunny stops and looks at me in annoyance. “Sorry,” I say.

A short while later, I start to see golden snowflakes falling from the sky. While the snow falls, the sun glistens off the snowflakes making a small light show. The bunny in front of me begins dancing, and it is adorable to see.

The bunny begins to speed up, while I keep my distance. I figure that the rabbit is playing around. Until I notice that the bunny is starting to fade away. I stop, and turn around to see if the rabbit is playing a trick on me. I turn back around to be face-to-face with God. The angels are playing their flutes with the sound of the wind. They are invisible, but I know they are here. As I step towards Him, the sandstones begin to change to just grass. Before long I am standing on soft, lush, grass. It is soft and refreshing and feels like it is well maintained.

God smiles at me as I make my way towards Him. All the while I am not sure what He is doing here. Am I in trouble? Did I do something wrong? So many thoughts are flowing through my mind. I begin to question my sanity. Even though I felt at peace around Him, there is something different. , Something that is a little unfamiliar to me, about Him. He is wearing a white robe with brown sandals. His burgundy sash makes me think that He is not who I believe He is. The spot that he is standing contains golden bricks with a shine of a rainbow. “Jesus?” I ask.

I continue to walk towards Him with caution. This will be the first time I have ever met him. His expression, however, does not waiver. He keeps his site on me, and I feel the warmth of the sun beaming off of him with love. I look into his golden eyes and smile. He chuckles at me and says with a reassuring tone, “Jacob, you have nothing to fear. Please, come walk with me.”

While we walk towards only He knows, I look down to see his scarred feet from where the nails were. On his sandals, I see that a lion is embracing the center of the straps. The circular, scarred, holes in his hands are an indication that the man I am walking with, is as He says He is. I suddenly feel no reason to worry.

We stop walking for a moment. He begins to look at me from head to toe, making a large circle around me. “You made a mess back there, didn’t you?”

“What?”

I asked you to kill Agog; you did not. I permitted you to kill Cain; you did not. Now, because of the giant, David and Samuel are dead. And now so are you. But what of the future, I wonder.”

“Lord, that was not my fault.”

“You question me?”

“Yes!”

This is the moment that I said something that I know will make me regret the very word. But once I realize it’s a mistake, it’s too late.

“Let me show you, what I saw,” he says. He extends his arm, and a mist forms out of thin air as he reveals the open-eyed vision to me.

[ I approach Cain, sword in hand. He tries to move around the tree, but I move with him. I box him in to make sure that he has nowhere to go. I point the sword near his face, giving small little cuts on his nose, smiling.

“Who’s the better fighter, huh? Your army is waiting to attack, but take that away, and you’re no better than Lucifer. A wimp.”

Cain stares at me, knowing that my words are hitting home.

“Your wife ran away with the devil, Cain. Think about it.”

He shuts his eyes.

“Who’s the better fighter, Cain?”

I lunge, shooting my arm out, the sword straight to his face. Without opening his eyes, he slams his palms together over the blade, stopping it an inch from his face. He opens his eyes and says, “I am.”

He jerks the sword back and hits me in the face with the handle, then kicks me in the chest.] The visions ends.

“Ok, okay, I messed up, and MAYBE it was my fault.”

“Maybe? Or you messed up, and it was your fault.”

“Sure, we’ll go with that.”

“You haven’t figured out who your parents are, yet… have you?”

“My parents?”

“Yes, your parents. Take a look at your little friend, behind you.”

I turn around and see the little bunny from before, being as cute as can be. I turn to face Jesus and say in confusion “I’m a bunny?!”

Jesus laughs for a moment. I turn back to watch the bunny transform into a very tall golden figure. The light saturates him; it is hard to make out what the rabbit was becoming. I shield my eyes for a moment. “I want you to think about your first memory. You are unique in every special way, Jacob. The reason why the fire does not burn you. The reason why having a baby with Lynn is possible.” My eyes do not waiver from the silhouette forming. The once tiny bunny now is becoming a giant golden angel. But the facial features of the angel look familiar.

“I know him, don’t I?”

“Yes, you do.”

“Lucifer?!” I turn to look at Jesus and question him. “Lucifer is my father?”

Jesus looks at me with love and concern in his eyes. The love that never leaves, to the point that I almost forget where I come from. “I am sorry about the news that I have revealed to you, Jacob.”

“What about my mother?”

It was like he did not want to answer that question.

“Is Eve a vampire?”

Another question that he ignores.

“Why are you not answering me?”

Again a question he ignores. Perhaps because I am the son of Lucifer, he does not want to reveal too much.

“I’m sorry, Jacob. Those are questions that I cannot answer.”

“Is it because you do not know that answers?” I ask. “Or is it because you choose not to tell me.”

“Unfortunately, it is because I am choosing not to tell you,” He says. Though, even though Jesus denies me answers, I am not angry with Him. “Please remember, ask, and you shall receive. But sometimes, the answer is no or not right now.”

“I understand.”

“I think it is time, my son.”

“Time for what?”

“To follow the little white rabbit, of course.”

I turn around to look at the statue, who has transformed, once again, to the cute little bunny. “But I,” I look back at Jesus, but he is gone. The rabbit begins to hop around me to lead the way, once again. As we walk along the sandstone path, a can smell lavender coming from beyond a hill. When I step on top of the hill, I can see a large building. A building that could have been here the entire time. ’Is this my home?’ I think to myself. Hummingbirds are fluttering all around the place, going in and out of cherry blossoms. A beautiful fountain can be seen, outside the entrance of double doors. The doors are beautiful, shiny, cherry wood color. Above the door reads, HEALING WATERS HOUSE OF PRAYER in bright gold letters. The bunny stops at the double doors.

He looks at me and tilts his head to the side. “I take it I’m supposed to go in there?”

The bunny vanishes before my eyes.

“Alright.” My hand wraps around the golden handle. I slowly begin to turn. While I turn the handle, I can hear the sounds of a heart monitor.

-Beep- Beep- Beep-

I step through the doorway and close the door. An extremely bright light fills the room, once again, then goes completely dark.

Silence, with the occasional beep.

~Beep~ ~Beep~ ~Beep~