SWNOVELS Chapter 87
The next morning I’m sitting in the hospital bed with Bianca and Iris on either side of me when the door slams open, and in walks my mother. For the first time in my life, I see her not so put together. Her eyes are red and rimmed with dark circles, the color of her beautiful face pale.
“Oh my god, Rosa,” she runs to my side and gingerly touches my hand. Afraid of unintentionally hurting me.
Little does she know, I’m used to it.
Every night she wasn’t home when I was locked in my room.
Every time Dad cornered me in his office to berate and she pretended everything was peachy.
Every trip she took around the world while she neglected me.
The unreturned phone calls and texts.
Most of all, the secrets she’s kept over the years. I’ve been hurt by her inactions and ignorance way deeper than this incident. I’m over keeping it all inside for fear of popping the bubble she lives in.
“I was worried sick. Who would hurt you like this?” she cries out, tightens her hand. “Where is Nova?”
His name brings another pang of emptiness, longing, and pain. I thought he had left last night, only to learn from Iris that he’s in the waiting room. She revealed that he asked Nathan to bring him a change of clothes and used the restroom at the hospital. I should’ve known he wouldn’t make it easy for me to move on. However, I stand by my decision.
There’s a sense of freedom in my chest and I have to explore it.
Bianca and Iris rise. “We’ll give you both some privacy.”
“What happened, Rosa?” asks my mom as soon as they leave. “How did this all happen? Is it true? Your father was blackmailing you? The police called me as soon as I landed.”
“When are you going to stop pretending, Ma?” The pent-up rage I’ve kept inside me bursts out, making her pale even more. “Don’t you get tired? Aren’t you even going to acknowledge the article about you and Danish. Were you ever going to confess to Jasmine? I know everything!”
“Please, love. Calm down.”
It only enrages me more. “Seriously? I almost get killed and you’re telling me to calm down. How are you so cool and collected while your daughter survived abuse from her father and uncle? Or are you that scared of him, huh?”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“How? Were you ever home for longer than a few days before you were off again in some part of the world?” I taunt. “Should I have called you? Oh wait, I did. Except they went to voicemail and unanswered. I was a kid, Ma, and I was scared. Half the time, I was kept locked like an animal in the room. I begged you to take me with you. Didn’t that clue you in? Or maybe think to check in on me?”
“You’re right, I was responsible as your mother and I should’ve.”
“You knew Dad was a harsh man yet you didn’t protect me. I had to learn to lean on myself. Jasmine tried but he would send her away. She was a kid herself yet she was more of a mother than you.”
“I thought as long as I did your father’s bidding, he would stay away from you and Jasmine. I also should’ve told you about Danish being Jasmine’s father but it was before my marriage, Rosa. I simply wanted to move on and when Teresa came with a proposal to marry you with her son, I said yes because I knew his family could protect you from your father.”
I jerk back in shock and confusion. “I thought you proposed the idea?”
“No,” she confesses with a sad smile. “Teresa was insecure and thought I was having an affair with Danish. She thought if we married our kids off, it’d effectively put an end to a relationship that never existed. She didn’t realize she gave me a lifeboat.”
Maybe Teresa wasn’t so perfect, after all.
Nova must know this too, but I no longer care if he hid it from me.
“I am deeply sorry and ashamed for being an awful mother, Rosa.” Taking my hand, she kisses it, and says, “I hope you can forgive me one day. You never met your grandparents, but they weren’t good at confrontation either and swept everything under the rug. It’s what I was taught.”
“The damage is done.”
She breaks down in tears, muttering, “I’m sorry.”
“I filed a case against Dad,” I inform her coldly. “If you still want to be with him—”
“I could never, Rosa. I’ll be by your side. I’ll make this right.”
The next hour, she sits beside me quietly while I rest. During my nap, I swear I hear Nova’s voice and feel the brush of his hand but when I wake up, there’s no sign of him.
Jasmine comes by later and the air is tense between her and my mother. They hold back on exchanging words for my sake but my eyes convey all the regret and sorrow when our gazes connect. She cries upon seeing my state, mumbling apologies for not being there to help. Regret is all everyone’s left feeling. I almost become sick with the feeling.
At the end of the day, the doctor comes by to inform me they will keep me under observation for a few more days before I can go home.
I start to count them down.
***
After three more agonizing days, I’m finally discharged. The bruises on my face have healed, the color almost faded, and my ankle has healed while my broken arm is still in a cast. It’ll take a few months to heal. Mentally, though, it’s going to be a long journey.
I’m overwrought with memories, both bad and good.
Nova at the forefront of them all.
I tell Bianca and Iris, who came to take me home, to drive to Nova’s house since all my stuff is there. My dogs are waiting there for me with Raghu, who came to visit me with his sweet wife the same day as my mom. My fur babies have been staying at his place through this whole ordeal.
“Why don’t you stay with Dash and me, Ro?” asks Bianca for the millionth time, while driving down the street.
“You shouldn’t be alone,” adds Iris softly.
“I’ll be fine,” I honestly answer. “My old apartment was in my father’s name and the police have seized all his properties, not that I would want to stay there.”
They give me a look of disbelief.
“What are you going to do about Nova?” Bianca quips. “You know, he hasn’t left your side. Even now, he’s driving behind us.”
I whip around to stare from the rear glass window and catch sight of his Maybach.
“I told him I’m not getting back together with him.” I sigh loudly. “Respecting my wishes, my ass.”
Silence ensues in the tight space as my best friends stare at me, bemused yet emotional.
“What?”
Iris shrugs with a smile. “It’s good to see you being your old self, Ro. You left us so scared.”
“Don’t ever do that again. You hear me?” demands Bianca.
“I won’t lie and say I’m completely fine, but I also won’t stay sad and cry over it.”
“We won’t let you. One day, it’ll be nothing but a bad nightmare.”
Iris grabs my uninjured hand. “You’re one of the strongest women I know, Ro. We’ll be by your side every step of the way. And I don’t care what you say, the three of us are spending the night together.”
“Okay,” I acquiesce, secretly relieved. The thought of being alone at night makes me shudder. “I would like that.”
Bianca takes the final turn, driving down the gravel driveway and cutting off the ignition before the front doors. The three of us get out and greet Raghu, who stands up ahead. My babies come racing toward me as soon as he lets go of their leash.
Bunny doesn’t miss the brace on my arm and stops at the last moment. While Maggie and Fire scratch and jump at my legs with their tiny paws. I bend over and pat their heads, letting them lick my uninjured arm and face.
“I missed you all so much,” I cry out in happiness and laugh after so long. They don’t leave my side, just as ecstatic to see me that Raghu has to get them under control. All of us walk to the wraparound porch and step into the house.
“Did you get it ready, Uncle Raghu?”
“Of course, kid.” He points to the couch. “The bags are all packed.”
Right then, another set of footsteps—that makes my heart pitter-patter—approaches us. Nova’s determined voice floating to me. “You’re not moving out.”
“Back off, Nova,” Iris replies angrily.
My best friends haven’t forgiven him. Before it can escalate into an argument between them, I turn to face Nova, locking my expression his proximity evokes. I stifle the urge to stay in my spot and hold on to my resolve. He’s dressed casually with his hair in a messy disarray.
Those ever-so-stormy eyes soften when they connect with mine.
“I am not,” I agree with him and before hopefulness can sink in, I quash it immediately. “You are. As you can see, I already packed your suitcases. Should be enough for a few weeks before you can take the rest of your stuff.”
He steps forward, arching one eyebrow. His sly amusement apparent. “You’re kicking me out of my own house, wife?”
“After the divorce, it’ll be mine. I’m simply saving you time.”
“Can I have a word with you?” His expression is sobering. “Alone.”
“I’ve already said my piece, Nova.”
“Please, Rose.” His voice cracks. “I won’t take long.”
“You don’t have to, Ro,” says Bianca.
Funny. A year ago, I was uttering the same words to her. Our gazes lock and she must see the same feeling that she felt in that moment. She tilts her head in understanding and grabs Iris’s hand.
“Let’s give them some privacy.”
Raghu lingers and warns before leaving, “You have ten minutes.”
No sooner are we alone than his mask slips. He closes the gap in two long strides, as if he can’t bear to stay away. The sight of my broken arm makes his features pull taunt. “Are you feeling better? You shouldn’t be staying alone. What if you forget to take your meds?”
“I’m okay and my friends will be staying with me.”
He nods but the concern isn’t gone. I watch his restraint vanish when his gaze roams over my face. He gives in to the urge, grabbing the back of my neck and running soothing circles. His voice is pained as he whispers, “Rose.”
“You need to stop hovering around.”
NOVA
Those words absolutely crush me.
I expected them, but they still sting. Nothing hurts more than the sight of her yellowing bruises on her cheek and broken arm. I don’t drop my hand, knowing I might not get a chance for a long while.
I have a long battle of earning her trust and making her mine ahead of me.
Divorce is out of the fucking question.
“Did you hear me, Nova?” she stubbornly says. Lifting her head to touch me but then dropping it at the last second. “This isn’t respecting my wishes. Why are you making this tough on me?”
“Because it’s physically impossible for me to stay away from you. Because I love you. Because you’re wife. My heart that beats outside my chest. Because I don’t want to be anywhere else besides with you. Most importantly, because I have no intention of letting you go without fighting tooth and nail. I would rather spend an eternity chasing you than without you.”
“What about what I want?” she counters, lips trembling as if she’s trying not to cry. “You fractured my heart, Nova. Tore it into shreds and stomped all over it. Being around you is a constant reminder of that. I don’t want to feel broken anymore. I need time and space. Why don’t you understand that? If you love me at all, then let me go. Please.”
Losing the fight, she breaks down and rests her forehead on my chest.
Loud sobs rack her small frame, bleeding me dry.
Even though it goes against every instinct in my body, my soul screaming in agony, I give her what she wants. Kissing her forehead, I murmur, “Shh… Okay. I’ll stay away for as long as you wish. Just don’t ask me to divorce you. I can’t do that, Rose. Let me live with the hope, even if it’s false, that one day you’ll be mine.”
If loving her from afar is all I’m allowed, then that’s what I’ll do.
Whether or not she’s ready, I’ll be back to beg her for another chance.
I’ll keeping coming back until she says yes.
Tilting her head back, I brush the saltiness away and commit every contour of her angelic beauty into my memory from this close. Breathe in her scent and the shape of her soft curves. I’ll need it if I want to survive the next few months.
“Okay,” she whispers. “I won’t.”
“Take care, Rose,” I roughly say and caress her curls one final time.
“Goodbye, Nova.”
I back away and find the strength to walk out without looking back. She loves me still and needs time… I remind myself. It’s enough for me, for now.
As soon as I’m outside, her friends skip past me to find her. While Raghu stands to the side with the dogs. They bark excitedly upon seeing me. I cross the distance and ask the old man, “Mind giving me time alone with them too?”
His hard features don’t change as he passes the leash to me.
I lower to my haunches and I’m immediately attacked with eager licks and kisses. Bunny nozzles his face against my arm while Fire and Maggie lean on my knees on two paws. I smile at them, giving equal attention to each dog.
Reluctantly, especially when they croon and tug at my jeans, I stand.
“This isn’t a goodbye, you heathens,” I mumble to them as they settle down a bit at my soft tone, laced with a hint of sadness. “I’ll be back to win your mommy over. Until then, take care of her.”
Raghu returns to hold them back when they chase after me as I settle behind the wheel and start the car. Reversing, I drive away from our house.