SWNOVELS Chapter 86
The nurse sternly orders everyone to clear out the room, allowing only a single person to remain inside while the doctor checks me over. Bianca and Nova have a stand-off, silently telling the other to leave.
My body is sore all over. My face feels numb and throat dry and scratchy. Every breath is a struggle and I feel sluggish. However, slowly I notice my surroundings, becoming alert when the wave of anxiety recedes.
The last person I expected to wake up to was Nova.
Hell, I never expected to wake up at all.
Yet here he is, looking guilt-ridden and disheartened. His soft brown eyes wet with tears. Did he cry for me? When did he come here? My mind runs amok with questions.
If I’m alive, does that mean Dad and Uncle made it too?
Was it all for nothing?
I think someone said I was unconscious for over sixteen to seventeen hours. Except I was busy replaying the memories of the fight with Nova, my uncle taking me home like a hostage, the beating, and then the fire.
“If you can’t decide, then both of you please leave.”
I glance at my heartbreak and my best friend.
When neither of them makes a move, the nurse turns to me expectantly. They gave me a sip of water a few minutes ago and it’s why I’m able to speak. “Nova, stay.”
Nova’s chest expands as though he didn’t expect my choice to be him. Relief and gratefulness swarming his tight features. He’s in the same clothes I saw him wearing last. He’s as much of a mess as I am, minus the broken bones and bruises. While Bianca looks crushed at my answer, but concern for me overrides it.
“Are you sure, Ro?” she asks softly.
I nod.
The sooner Nova and I have a talk, the sooner he leaves. When the police show up in a short while since they were informed that I regained consciousness, he can listen as I confess everything. I don’t have the will to rehash the traumatic experience again. I simply want to close this chapter in my life and move on.
Bianca reaches my side and kisses my head before leaving. Dash, who is hovering near the door, takes her hand. With one final glance, she disappears. Iris already hugged and left after making sure I was okay and telling me how much she loves me. I was grateful for both of them. I’ll need them a lot in the coming months.
“Mrs. D’Cruz, you don’t have to give a statement until you’re feeling better. I can tell them you need more rest.”
“No. I just want to get it over with, please.”
“Okay, I’ll send them in once they arrive.”
“Thank you.”
The nurse fusses over me for a moment before exiting until it’s just Nova and me left in the room. He stands near the foot of the bed, watching me with the saddest and most forlorn expression until the urge to hide my face becomes stronger.
He rounds to my side, sensing it. Proving he knows me better than I know myself.
However, it’s not true at all, is it?
He didn’t trust me when I desperately needed him the most. My brain starts to make excuses that he was grieving, drinking, and hurting. All of them valid, but his cruel words, they sting and stick like an incurable disease, killing me slowly.
The ugly truths he intentionally kept from me stab me in the chest, twisting my insides until I’m bleeding from the shards. I remember every single word he said.
“We’re over.”
“Only know how to cheat, lie, and break hearts.”
“I can never forgive you.”
“There’s no coming back from this, Rosalie.”
The last two break my heart the most. I shiver when he cups my cheeks and bends to press his lips in a whisper of a kiss all over my face. My forehead, my eyes, my cheeks… my lips.
The pain meds feeding into my veins have made me numb. Yet I’m not immune to his touch and taste the salt from my tears. His fingers brush them away.
“I’m so sorry,” he murmurs, our foreheads touching. “Please forgive me, Rose. There is no excuse for the way I behaved and pushed you away, the way I sent you back. I would’ve died if I had lost you. Tell me what happened.”
“I had no intention of going home and decided to go to Bianca’s instead, but he… my uncle was waiting in the cab for me.” I swallow at the utter terror I had felt when I realized I was caught. “He had a gun and I didn’t know what to do.”
“It was my fault. I’m sorry I didn’t believe you.” Nova goes rigid with unleashed fury, and I know half of it is aimed at himself. None of this would’ve happened if he hadn’t let me go. Rubbing my back, he promises with conviction, “He’s not touching you ever again. He died in the fire, Rose. You’re safe now.”
I clutch his forearm, forcing him to look at me. I hold in my sob as I tell him the truth about his mom. “Your mom’s car crash, it wasn’t an accident. My dad and uncle knew she was coming to meet me… They killed her, Nova. You were right all along. It was them behind your kidnapping. I didn’t know they were capable of it. I’m sorry.” Despair and anguish make him shudder. He stills, arms going lax around me. I hold on to him with my unbroken arm. “I swear I didn’t know, you have to believe me.”
“I do,” he groans roughly, hiding his face in the crook of my neck. “None of it was your fault. Never will I make the same mistake. I just need you to get better and stronger, Rose.”
We stay locked in an embrace. Nova sitting beside me on the bed as we grieve the loss of his mom together. He leans on me, unlike the previous night. His sad tears licking my skin.
A knock on the door pulls us apart.
Nova stands straight, holding my hand as we face the two officers entering.
“If you’re ready, we’d like to ask you a couple of questions, Mrs. D’Cruz,” the older one between the two says, their expression sealed.
“Of course.”
“Can you start from the beginning? Where were you when the fire started?”
Taking a deep breath, I confess everything. The years and months of manipulation, child abuse at my uncle’s and father’s hands, the blackmailing, Teresa’s murder, and lastly, the night Uncle kidnapped me. I don’t pause or shed a tear as I admit to every horrific detail. Shooting the cab driver, hitting and kicking me.
The tension mounts in the air, sharp enough to cut with a knife.
Somewhere during my heartbreaking speech, Nova loses his calm and paces back and forth in the corner. At times, he looks torn, and other times, enraged. His contriteness visible over the sharp angles of his face, jaw clenched while those eyes become anguished.
Once I’m done, Nova gives his own statement and confirms the blackmailing. The leaking of his clients’ files and other sensitive information. However, neither of us speak about the pictures of his dad exchanging money.
The policemen exchange a look. The younger one takes the order and immediately puts the phone to his ear, probably to demand a search for the body of the driver. As well as confirmation on identification of my uncle.
“One last question… Do you believe your father could be behind the rumor of the affair behind Danish and your mother?”
I go ramrod still, completely forgetting about Nova’s threat. However, I maintain my composure instead of cutting my accusatory stare to Nova. His own expression sealed tight into a neutral one. He takes a step forward, about to confess, but I cut him off.
“Yes, I think he must’ve been.” I feel Nova’s intense stare locked on my profile but I dare not turn. “Another tactic to ruin my father in-law’s reputation.”
After a couple of more follow-up questions, he shuts his notepad.
“You should get a lawyer, it’s going to be a long court case,” he advises. “Even with all the evidence, your father will not be easily put behind bars. I hope you’re prepared.”
“I will be.”
Nova and I are alone once again. I gather my emotions at the revelation that despite my plea, he went ahead with his threat. The world might think it was nothing but a rumor, but the damage to my mom and sister is already done. It must be why neither are here yet.
“You did it,” I state, laughing humorlessly. “A day. That’s all I had asked for.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t listen, Rose.” He crosses the room to me but I pull away from his touch, unable to stand him in this moment. His arms fall to his sides. “I made a mistake I’m going to regret for the rest of my life. But please, give me a chance to fix it. Don’t be like me. I didn’t mean any of it. I love you. I could never not be in love with you. I’m begging you to forgive me.”
“Why should I forgive you, Nova?” My calm vanishes, anger and pain replacing it. “When you weren’t even willing to do the same. You threw me to the wolves. You didn’t believe me. I begged you for a chance. And you kicked me out. I made a mistake and came back to you, yet still you didn’t believe me. I wanted to die in the that fire.”
“And I would’ve followed you.” Turning my cheek toward him with a little pressure, he torturedly says, “You dare to sacrifice yourself for me again, you kill me first. I’ll never live in a world you aren’t part of. I fucked up badly. Punch me, kick me, hurt me… hate me, but never say that. I’ll take everything with a smile except you ever uttering you want to die.”
“I’m tired of it all, Nova. We’ve both made mistakes.” I push his hand down and steel my resolve. “And I do forgive you even though I don’t blame you for what happened. I love you so much…”
“I love you too, Rose.”
“But I can’t do this anymore.”
“No. No!” he shakes his head, a tear falling. “No. Don’t push me away now. We can get through this together.”
“Sometimes love isn’t enough. I can’t be with a man who doesn’t trust me. One forced to be with me. I would rather stay invisible than be seen and ignored. We only know how to hurt each other and bring our worst qualities out of one another.”
“You’re wrong. Don’t do this,” he pleads, panicking. “We’re stronger than this.”
“I am not. I pretend because the reality is, I was nothing but a puppet to every man in my life,” I whisper. “The people with the strongest shell on the surface have the most fragile of hearts, Nova. They have the shell to protect what’s inside so nobody sees how broken and rotten they really are.”
His hands cup my face again. “Then let me be your shell, Rose. Let me protect and cherish you. I’m not leaving your side as long as I’m alive, certainly not while you’re in a hospital. You’re mine, you love me. I’m not letting you go.”
“It’s not your choice. I need to be on my own for a while, become my own person without the shadows of my past hanging over my head. I just want to be Rosalie. If I stay with you, I’ll never be. I’m sorry, but please leave, Nova. We’re over.”
He doesn’t move.
I close my eyes and look away.
If I stare at him any longer, my resolve will crumble. He may not realize it but he needs to heal too. We can’t cling onto each other. He’s my scar, while I’m his.
Together, we’re infectious and poisonous.
I tremble when I feel the ghost of his lips on my forehead.
His soft breath teases my ear as he whispers, “I will respect your wishes, but we could never be over… You and I are forever, Rose.”