Haelan’s Desire (Walk Through Shadows Book Four)

Just as Sable predicted, they arrived at the Wynbell family home an hour after passing over the Elven capital.

Em peeked around Sable’s head as they glided to a stop in front of the strangest building she’d ever seen. From the outside, it looked like a tall hedge. As her gaze moved over the leaf covered wall in front of the group, she guessed it was at least twelve feet high. There was light seeping from between the tightly packed branches in several places. The front entryway was lit by a set of four round lanterns hanging from carved wooden poles on either side of the door.

Haelan moved behind Em and held her by the waist so she could unclip herself. The front door of the structure opened as he set her down. Em leaned over to see past Sable and her eyes went wide. A white-haired elf stepped out to greet them.

Haelan touched her back as he skirted around her. “Mornan,” he said as he approached the elf with his hand out.

“Your highness,” Mornan said, then accepted Haelan’s hand. “The princes said you were delayed, we did not expect you for a few more hours.”

“Some of us overindulged yesterday, I thought it best if we got more rest before our journey.” Em felt her cheeks flush. Behind her, Drem made a strangled sound that was part laugh and part cough. Em pressed her lips together to quell the smile that was threatening to curl her lips.

“Well, the important thing is that you’ve arrived.” Mornan stepped to the side with a wave at the door. “My son will show your guards to their quarters.”

A much younger elf stepped forward. “Sylnan,” Haelan said as he offered his hand to the elf.

“Your highness, welcome. It’s good to see you again,” Sylnan said.

After Haelan released Sylnan’s hand, he turned and waved Em forward. “This is my ward, Emmeline Carter.”

Em offered her hand to Sylnan with a smile. “Hello.”

Sylnan reached out and took her hand. He didn’t shake it, just squeezed a little and let it go. “You’re human,” he said. His head tilted as he studied her face.

“Mostly,” she said with a shrug.

Sylnan smiled. Em grinned in response. He wasn’t what she’d been expecting an elf to look like. Sure, he had pointed ears, as was universally included in any description of elves. But rather than the long, straight, blond hair, his was very dark. In the lantern light, she was sure it was darker than her own. Compared to the faeries, both he and his father were willowy and pale. Their features thin and delicate. Sylnan was about the same height as Em. Mornan, a few inches taller. They were dressed in light coloured, loose fitting, long-sleeved tunics, and dark brown trousers.

Haelan moved closer to Em’s side and rested his hand on the small of her back. “Mornan, we’d like to freshen up before introducing Em to Lorakalyn.”

“Of course,” Mornan said and stepped back with another wave at the door. “If you’ll follow me.”

Beamard cleared his throat to gain Haelan’s attention. “Milord,” he said softly.

“Sylnan, please show them to our room once they know where they’ll be staying.”

“Yes, your highness,” Sylnan said with a quick nod. He moved over to the guards. Haelan gently pushed Em forward as Mornan turned to lead the couple inside. Em looked around as they entered the building. Inside was lit by more lanterns, hung along the walls at intervals of six or seven feet.

She reached out to touch one wall as Mornan led them down a hallway off the front room. “What is this made of?” she asked. Her fingers grazed the surface of the wall as they moved. The colour reminded her of a basketball court and it looked like wood, but it didn’t feel like wood. In fact, it felt almost like fabric but much stiffer.

“A thick canvas made from tree fibers,” Mornan said.

“Mages turn it to stone,” Haelan added.

“Really?” Em asked as she stopped and flattened her hand against a wall.

“It makes it less flammable,” Haelan said and pressed his palm to the wall next to hers. “And directs rain water to the living part of the wall.”

Mornan turned back to watch them, a slight smile curving his thin lips. “It also helps retain heat so we use less wood for the fires.”

“You use fireplaces?” she asked.

“Yes, mistress,” Mornan said. “They are some of the few places where actual stones are used in our homes.”

She looked at him and pulled her hand away from the wall. “I’m not an expert by any means, but there might be a more efficient way to get heat into your houses. From my realm, like boilers or something.”

“I’ve been looking into it,” Haelan said as he moved around her. “To give myself something to do while you were working at the club. Bastion gave me some suggestions.”

Em smiled at him. “You mean he wasn’t just flirting with you?”

His eyebrows went up. “Flirting?” he asked. “I though he preferred females.”

Em shook her head. “Nope, both and he thinks you’re hot.”

“An optimal way of finding a mate,” Mornan said.

Em and Haelan looked at him. “I’ve never thought of it that way, but I guess it could be,” Em said.

Mornan’s smile grew wider for a moment. He turned away to continue down the hall. “Come, lass,” Haelan said as his hand settled on her shoulder. “Let’s get you out of your gear.” Em bit her lips as they moved forward, and she imagined Haelan taking off her jacket then peeling off the rest of her clothing.

“Here we are,” Mornan announced as he stopped in front of a canvas covered door. “Emmeline, this is your room.” She frowned as he waved at a door a few feet away. “Prince Haelan—”

“Did Faine not explain our preference?” Haelan asked.

“He did but, as I understood, you are not mated,” Mornan said then pushed the door open. Haelan drew a breath to respond, but Em reached up and grabbed his hand. “Prince Aglanthol—” Mornan’s gaze settled on Em. “He represents our district.” She nodded to show her understanding. “Will be attending the ceremony and staying the night.” He stepped into the room, waited for them to follow, and pointed at a door in the wall adjacent to Haelan’s room. “With his position on the council, he’s spent a great deal of time around sun elves. He becomes more like them every day.” He went over to the other door and swung it open. “My daughter suggested having this added so he can’t see the two of you move between your rooms.” He clasped his hands together. “The nature of your relationship is none of his business, but it’s doubtful he would see it that way.”

“It’s a perfect solution,” Haelan said with a relieved smile.

“Not entirely. He’ll be down the hall,” he said with a rueful smile. “There may be some subterfuge required, which is regrettable, but it was the best we could do.”

“We’ll be fine,” Em said with a bright smile. “Thank you for going out of your way for us.”

“You’re welcome,” Mornan said with a dip of his head. “The bathing room is across the hall.”

“I’ll show her,” Haelan said.

Mornan smiled at them both, then moved around the couple to the main door. “We’ll be in the courtyard when you’d like to join us.”

“We’ll be there shortly,” Haelan said with a smile. After the door closed behind Mornan, he grabbed his amulet and murmured the incantation. His wings disappeared, and he pulled the strap of Em’s bag over his head. He held it out to her as he lifted the strap for his own bag with his other hand. “Do you need any help?” he asked with a glance at the laces on her jacket.

Em’s hands tightened around the strap as her brief fantasy twirled through her head for a moment. She turned and dropped her bag on the bed. It was a lot like her bed at home, serviceable but nothing fancy. The headboard, which was just a thick branch nailed crosswise between the end posts, was so low it barely peeked out from behind the pillows that had been placed on top of the light green coverlet. Her fingers plucked at the first knot on her jacket. She growled as the lace refused to come undone.

Haelan bit back a smile as he dropped his bag over the threshold to his own room, then moved over to her. “Here, let me do that for you.” She turned around and dropped her hands while she tipped her head back to get her chin out of the way. “Now, tell me truthfully, was flying on Sable’s back as harrowing as you feared?”

She laughed. “Why your highness, whatever do you mean?” she asked in her best Scarlet O’Hara impression.

“Lass, I know you,” he said with a smile. “Even when you’re afraid you keep moving forward. But the pitch of your voice gave you away, you were nervous.”

“I didn’t want your guards to think I was a wuss,” she said.

“Whatever your intentions were, it was brave to allow an untested male to carry you that way,” he murmured as he moved onto the next knot.

“You were right there.” She smiled at the top of his bent head. “I was safe.”

His head lowered farther as he moved onto the next set of laces. “If that’s what you feel, then I’ve accomplished one of my goals.”

“What goal was that?”

“To ensure you could feel safe again,” he said.

“Does that mean you’re going to leave me now?”

“No, lass.” His fingers tugged at the last knot.

“You have another you need to work on?”

“I do.” He started working on the laces on her pants, adding nothing to his statement.

Em shrugged the jacket off and dropped it on the bed. “Are you going to tell me what it is?” He hummed softly. “Haelan?” He tugged the laces a little harder. She stumbled forward and bumped into him. She laughed. “Sorry.” Both their heads turned at a knock on the door. “Bet that’s the pack.”

“Come in,” Haelan called. The door opened and Beamard peeked his head in, smiled at the couple, and pushed the door wide while taking a step inside. “This is Em’s room.” Haelan pointed at the door to his room. “Mornan had that put in for us.” He looked at Em. “I let the guards know about our sleeping arrangements.”

“Emmeline,” Beamard said. “You won’t receive any judgment from us.”

“Thanks,” she said. “We know it’s a little odd but—”

“You don’t have to explain,” Beamard said. “We’ve all had monsters stalk us through the darkness.” He waved his hand. “Through the forests or our dreams—”

“You told them about that?” she asked Haelan.

“If someone heard you and came into my room, I’d rather they know the truth than assume we’re lovers,” Haelan said.

“Lass,” Beamard said with a gentle smile. “Even if he was lucky enough to have that role in your life, we wouldn’t have any judgment for you.” She looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “You’re an adult, by human standards at least.”

“And by faerie standards?” she asked with a grin.

“You haven’t reached your first century yet, so you’d still be an adolescent,” Haelan answered.

Em looked at him. “Really?” He nodded. “And here I was feeling old,” she said with a laugh.

Beamard and Haelan chuckled. “You’re far too young for that,” Beamard said.

“Milord,” Elmas said from his spot in the doorway. Haelan leaned back to look around Beamard’s shoulder. “Your room is next door?”

“Yes.” Haelan pointed at the door in the wall. “Just through there.” Elmas inclined his head, then disappeared. He reappeared in Haelan’s room a moment later.

He looked over the door briefly, then pulled it open wider. “This doesn’t have a lock,” he said with a frown.

“It was a recent addition. Most likely temporary,” Haelan said. “There are no windows. The exterior of these dwellings are difficult to penetrate quietly.” He directed that statement at Em as a way of reassuring her. “As we discussed, a pair of you in the hallway should be sufficient.”

“Drem and I will take first watch. Elmas and Caernach have second watch.” Beamard nodded his head toward the door. “Taveon will accompany you while you make your introductions.” He dipped his head to Haelan. “Unless that doesn’t suit—”

“No, that’ll be fine,” Haelan said.

Beamard took a step toward the door. “They’ve erected a tent for us on the north side of the building.” Haelan gave him a nod.

“I’m going to hang up my dress so it doesn’t get more wrinkled than it already has,” Em said as she kicked her shoes off.

“I’ll be back in a few minutes,” Haelan said, then turned away and went to his room.

Em glanced over at the open doorway and saw him snag his bag from the floor. He dropped it onto the bed, then flipped it open and started to pull his clothes out. She turned back to her own bag, pushed aside the pile of leggings and t-shirts and pajamas aside, and pulled out the white dress bag at the bottom. She shook it out, then looked around for a place to hang it. In the room’s corner, next to a small table with a stool tucked under it, was a set of narrow doors that looked like it might be a closet. After grabbing the jacket, she went over to the doors, pulled one open, and peered inside. It was a closet, a small one, with a line of hooks rather than a bar. Luckily the dress bag still had the hanger in it so she hung the dress up then the jacket and shimmied the leather pants off. She put the pants on the hook next to the jacket, then turned back to the bed to fish out her bag of toiletries, set that aside, and picked up the bag. She dropped it on the floor of the closet, closed the door, and went to Haelan’s room.

He was rifling through his bag with quick, irritated movements. “Did you lose something?” Em asked as she got closer.

Haelan straightened with a heavy sigh. “I could have sworn I’d packed at least two pairs of pajamas, but I can only find the bottoms.” He looked at her. “You didn’t happen to see Isabelle in our room before we left the capital?”

“You think she took them?” Em asked. “Why the hell would she do that?”

“Because she refuses to listen to reason,” he said.

“At least she left the pants,” Em said with a shrug. “Otherwise you’d have to borrow my leggings.”

“I don’t think they’d fit.”

“They’re very stretchy,” she said with a wink.

There was a quick knock on the door. “Father,” one of the twins called out.

“Come in,” Em said as she turned to the door. It swung open to reveal Faerwald. “Hey handsome.”

Faerwald slipped into the room and moved next to Em. She looped her hand around his forearm. He smiled down at her. That smile dimmed as he looked at his father. “I couldn’t let him rush off on his own.”

“You’re a good brother,” Em said as she squeezed his arm.

“Casimiro should not have let the two of you go,” Haelan said in a stern voice.

“I don’t think he saw us leave,” Faerwald said. “Please don’t blame him—”

“It’s alright,” Haelan said as he reached out and grabbed his son’s shoulder. “I know how Faine can be, how you both can be.” His hand dropped away. “I thought Roldan had impressed the importance of controlling your impulses on you.” Faerwald dropped his gaze to somewhere around Haelan’s knees. “Will you show Em where the bathing room is? I’ll need a minute to reorganize this.” He waved at the bag.

“I’d be happy to,” Faerwald said, then patted Em’s hand with his free hand. He pulled her toward the door and into the hallway. Taveon was leaning against the wall opposite from their rooms. He dipped his head in greeting. Em flashed a big smile at him, then turn away as Faerwald continued down the hall. They passed a door on the left and two on the right. He came to a stop in front of a partially closed door, gave it a shove, and waved her inside. “This is it.” She stepped into the room and looked around. Along the wall nearest to the door was what looked like a big block of stone, carved into the shape of a bench. There was a square of pale yellow stone resting on top. It was maybe a half inch thick.

She bent down and tapped it with her fingertips. “Is this—?”

“The elves version of a toilet,” Faerwald said.

“Interesting,” she murmured as she straightened. “How do you flush it?”

“That lever.” He pointed at a carved branch sticking out of the wall a few inches above and to the right of the bench.

Em nodded, then turned to what she assumed was the bathtub. It was another canvas turned stone shape across from the bench, fashioned into a giant oblong bowl. The canvas didn’t quite reach the floor on one side, and the wooden structure it was draped over was visible if a person leaned down far enough. Between the bathtub and bench was a wooden vanity with a large framed mirror hanging above it. It faced a curtained off area that jutted out into the room. “A shower?” Em asked, then reached out and pulled the white curtain back.

“I guess it would be primitive compared to what you’re used to, but it’s effective.”

“It’s charming,” she said as she looked up at the fixture. It was a bunch of thin hollow reeds that had been lashed together and then bent outward. She turned to Faerwald. “As long as there’s hot water.”

He grinned at her. “It’s like standing in a warm rainfall.”

“Then charming it is,” she said with a laugh. She made a little shooing motion with her hand. “I need a sec before we go see everyone.”

His eyebrows went up as he realized what she was referring to. He grabbed the door and swung it shut, leaving her alone. When she opened the door a few minutes later, he was standing near Taveon, the two of them speaking in low voices. Haelan stepped out of his room just as she reached them and the group set off for the courtyard in the centre of the building.

They came out of the hallway and Em didn’t know where to look first. Faerwald almost ran into her back as she slowed down. “Sorry,” she said absentmindedly.

“You have to report back to Isabelle?” Faerwald asked with a chuckle.

“Uh huh,” Em said as she looked up. The middle of the ceiling was open to the stars. Across from the hallway they’d come from was what looked like a kitchen. There was a sort of stove made of large rocks standing behind a wide raised work table.

“That.” Faerwald pointed at a canvas covered floor to ceiling cabinet on the same wall as the stove. “It’s like our cold rooms.”

“A mage cast a spell on it?” she asked.

“Magic refrigerator,” Haelan said and winked at her.

“Genius,” she mumbled and turned her gaze to the wall next to the cabinet. There was a large wooden table with benches tucked under it. In the middle of the room, under the star filled sky, was a round fireplace, with benches scattered around it. Em smiled as Faine looked up and saw the group. He turned to the female sitting next to him. Even at a distance she was beautiful. “And now I know why he was in such a rush.”

Mornan stood from his seat with a smile of greeting. Sylnan followed suit. Faine got up and held his hand out to his intended. The top of Lorakalyn’s head barely reached Faine’s shoulder. The upper half of her long black hair had been restrained by several small braids that were pinned into an elaborate pattern against her head, the bottom half hung in a thick curtain that stretched halfway down her back. She was dressed in a simple forest green shift dress that had been cinched at her hip with a thick brown belt. Haelan held his arm out for Em. She curled her hand around it and moved forward with him.

“Em,” Faine said as the two couples came together. “This is Lorakalyn Wynbell.”

Em held out her hand with a smile. “It’s so nice to meet you.”

Lorakalyn took her hand and gripped it the same way her brother had. “Thank you for coming,” she said softly. “Faine told us you’ll give the blessing?”

“After everything they’ve done for me, how could I say no?” Em said with a smile at Faine.

“Come,” Mornan said and waved at the middle of the room. “Sit by the fire. Can I get anyone a drink? We have wine from my brother’s orchard or—” He looked toward the table, which had several carved goblets and bottles sitting on it. “I think there might even be some dwarven whiskey in there somewhere.”

Haelan chuckled under his breath. Em reached over with her free hand and patted his arm hard. “Wine would be great,” she said as they moved forward. Haelan led her to a bench next to Lorakalyn and took a seat on her other side. Mornan came back to the fire, handed a goblet to her, then to Haelan. Em took a sip of the delicate Elven wine and looked around with a sigh.

“What is it, lass?” Haelan asked.

She turned to him with a big smile. “I was just thinking.”

“About?”

She waved at the little gathering with her goblet. “I’m in one of John’s books.” He laughed.

Faerwald leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. “I’ve only read the one about the dragon. Do they all have such tragic endings?”

Em’s brows went up, and she shook her head. “That was something he’d worked on before he met Isabelle.” She glanced at Haelan through her lashes. “Once he fell in love, the endings got much happier.”

“When a male finds that kind of love, it’s hard to imagine any other kind,” Haelan murmured as he leaned a little closer to Em’s side.

She pressed her arm against his with a little smile while looking down at the cup in her hand. “For a woman as well.”

The spell of intimacy between them broke after a moment as Mornan began relaying the plans that had been made for the following day. Em tried to listen, but her thoughts kept drifting back to her memories of the previous night and the few seconds she’d been able to caress Haelan’s abs before he stopped her. She set the nearly full goblet next to her on the bench.

When she didn’t make any move to pick it up as the conversation continued, Faerwald noticed. “Are you still ill from last night?”

Em shook her head. “I’m okay. I just don’t feel like drinking tonight.”

“It’s good to be cleared headed when you’re in a new place,” Sylnan said.

Em nodded her agreement and kept her gaze on the elf as she heard the soft tap of Haelan’s goblet as he set it down. Her cheeks flushed as the butterflies swirled around her stomach.

Are you sure about this? The reasonable side of her asked. Didn’t dad tell you to make good choices?

Em turned to Haelan. He smiled as their eyes met. And suddenly she felt like her heart was melting towards him.

They don’t get any better than that. The reckless side of her purred.

The sensible side of her must have agreed because it stayed silent. An hour later, when everyone sought their beds, Haelan rose from his seat and held out his hand to Em. She gripped it lightly and got to her feet. As they left the courtyard, she didn’t let go like she usually did. Haelan said nothing about it, and she was grateful for the silence. For the first time in a long time, she was nervous. All because of a question that had been floating around in the back of her mind since she’d overheard Haelan and Isabelle in the kitchen.

Am I good enough for him?