Guns & Roses

Dimitri

It’s been a few days already and Tatiana still hasn’t woken up. Dr. Moore said that the poison is completely expelled but the stress she went - both physically and emotionally might be a huge factor as to why she won’t wake up yet.

I’ve already informed Abram of Tatiana’s condition and he has been staying here since. Everyone was affected by this incident one way or another. To say that my mood was bad is a huge understatement. I feel everybody walking on thin ice around me and the only one that wasn’t afraid to come close was Viktor, even Boris knew how I was during my temper.

I’ve holed myself up in my office doing paperworks and when I wasn’t, I was at the gym pounding the hell out of the punching bags. The pain in my knuckles didn’t compare to the pain and guilt my heart contains right now. If I even have a heart.

Concentrating on the paperworks I had on my desk, I didn’t notice the intruder until someone flicked my forehead.

“What the-”

Before I could even finish my sentence, a snickers bar landed in front of me.

“You know, your tantrums and mood swings are getting out of hand. Nobody even wants to take the guard shift in front of your office” Viktor said.

I scoffed.

“It’s true” he chuckled as he took a seat. There was a moment of silence until Viktor asked about Tatiana.

“So, did you visit her already?” He asked.

I didn’t answer. Letting out a sigh, I took off my glasses and threw them on the table. Leaning on my chair, I closed my eyes as I tried to relax.

“I haven’t. I can’t bear to see her like that. All I know is that she’s still not waking up” It was true. The disapproving look on Viktor’s face was something I couldn’t argue with.

I was a coward because I knew I was the cost for Tatiana’s suffering.

“How many times do we have to tell you Dimitri. Don’t blame yourself, everyone had their fair share of shortcomings. Just be by her side and talk to her. I heard it helps” he offered as I nodded my head in agreement.

“Are you going to tell her all of the truth?”

“I have to. It’s just a matter of when’s the right time” I said.

Viktor let out a heavy sigh as he brought his hands together and looked straight at me. “There is no right time Dimitri. Just be honest and get the truth out” he said seriously.

“It’s not that easy you know” If it were that easy I would’ve said the truth the moment I realized her identity. But as much as it was a sensitive topic for her, it was also to me.

“Nothing’s ever easy when it comes to secrets. Just take a deep breath, look her in the eyes, leave no secrets behind, tell her the truth and then profess your undying love for your childhood sweetheart!” Viktor said gesturing with open arms.

I looked at him incredulously.

“What? Oh. I forgot the important part, kiss her senseless and then have some hot steamy make up sex!”

“You’re not helping Vik. Not one bit” I said.

“Oh come on, I know deep down you’re considering it” he teased as I rolled my eyes at him.

“I can’t deal with you right now” I sighed. Standing up from my seat I headed towards the door. Before I could shut it Viktor yelled from the inside.

“You still love me anyway!!” Viktor shouted as I closed the door shaking my head.

Going down the halls toward the infirmary, I noticed not one guard patrolling the halls.

Suspicious, I sped up my phase until I came in contact with Boris.

“Where are the guards?” I asked.

“I dismissed them. Viktor told me you were on your way here and the guards just really don’t want to face you right now” Boris explained.

“Is it that bad?” I asked.

“Very” Boris said chuckling.

“Did you visit her?”

“Yeah, still no signs of waking up. I just met up with Dr. Moore and she said her vitals are all fine, she just needs to wake up on her own” he explained.

I nodded my head and pushed open the door. The beeping sounds of the heart monitor and other machineries was all you can hear.

My beautiful angel laid peacefully on her bandaged back. Her face tilted to the side. The bruises wasn’t as swollen as before and her cuts seemed to have dried off.

I took a seat near her bed and reached for her hand.

I didn’t know where to start. It’s like I suddenly lost my voice.

Clearing my throat, I started rubbing circles on her hand.

“You know, when we were kids, you’d always force me to read a book for you under the willow tree on your family’s garden” I smiled, recounting the memory.

“As a young boy I hated reading, I wanted to play but then you start doing this puppy dog eyes and I just couldn’t resist it” Chuckling at the thought. If some of the boys saw me like this, they’d probably take a double look.

“I guess.. what I’m saying is, I’ll tell you a story, like the good old times” I said looking for confirmation even though I knew she won’t respond.

A long long time ago, there were two families who were very close to each other. The grandfathers of both families were best friends and so did there sons. Eventually, it was passed on as the other family had a son and the other one had a daughter.

The kids were inseparable. They lived a good distance from each other yet the boy would always pester his parents to drive them to the little girl’s home.

Of course, his parents agreed. During the summer, his parents let him stay over at the little girl’s mansion and he was ecstatic. They both played everyday and climbed trees and ran on the fields.

Until one day, while out in the garden under the willow tree, the boy and the little girl managed to fall asleep after reading a book. The boy was startled awake when he heard gunshots firing from the distance.

The little girl beside him started stirring awake but the gunshots and shouting only grew louder. He instinctively grabbed hold of the little girl’s hand.

“Come on Tati, we need to go” the little boy said.

“Why Dimi?” The little girl asked as she rubbed her eyes.

“Let’s play hide and seek. I know you love that game” he said, hoping she would come without any fuss.

The little girl’s eyes widened in excitement as she bobbed her little head in agreement.

“Come on.” He smiled at the little girl.

He led the both of them to the horses’ stables and hid behind an empty one.

The boy signaled the little girl to be quiet and she reciprocated the action with a small giggle.

They hid there for a while until footsteps were heard.

“Find the kids” an old man said and the boy instantly tensed up. The little girl only looked at the boy with innocent eyes, oblivious to their situation.

The boy knew what to do, he had to keep the little girl safe.

“Hey Tati, stay here and don’t come out until I come back okay?” He whispered.

“But Dimi it’s dark in here, I’m scared” the little girl pouted, tears starting to form.

“Tati don’t cry. Remember? You’re a brave girl right?” The boy said.

“Right! I’m a Lunanov and Lunanovs are fiershe!” She said stumbling with her words while pointing to her birthmark.

“Of course you are” the boy smiled as he gave the little girl one last look and took off.

He diverted the men’s attention and let them chase him as far away from the stables where the little girl was.

He ran off as quick as he can but the men was quickly catching up to him.

Suddenly, gunshots were firing and the little boy noticed that the men has fallen to the ground with pools of their blood staining the green grass.

The little boy stared in horror as someone shouted his name.

“Dimitri!”

The boy looked up to see his father running towards him and scooping him up.

“Father!” The boy embraced his father as tears fell down.

“Father! Tatiana is alone in the stables! We have to get her!”

The boy’s father looked torn and he was rooted in place. A shriek caught their attention as a man was holding the little girl.

“Let me go! Dimi!!!!” The little girl shouted.

The little boy suddenly let go of his father but he was only able to run a few feet as his father caught him and dragged him away.

“Father let go! I need to save her!”

“We have to escape my son, we are in danger” the father argued.

The boy did not go willingly as he thrashed in his father’s arms desperately wanting to go to the little girl.

The little boy was shoved inside the car while they fled the chaos. He was pleading with his father but he won’t budge. He cried and cried until the darkness consumed him with only the thoughts of how he couldn’t keep the little girl safe.

“It’s all my fault. I’m weak. I couldn’t protect you then and I still failed to protect you now”

“Looking at you.. it breaks me that all these wounds could have been prevented if only I wasn’t foolish with my actions. I’m sorry Tatiana. I’m so sorry” I said as my voice cracked.

I held her hand more tightly as I willed the tears to stop. I brought her hand to my cheek and rested it there. Basking the comfort her presence gives.

“Please wake up my love. Please”

***

I fell asleep still holding Tatiana’s hand and my back was killing me. Looking at the digital clock on Tatiana’s bedside table, I saw it was already two in the morning.

The only light the gave off was the full moon’s. I started standing up but the little movement from Tatiana’s hand stopped me.

I wasn’t sure if it was just my imagination playing tricks on me but then Tatiana’s hand tightened just a bit on my hand.

I was about to call the doctor when she stirred more. Her face was contorted in pain and she was mumbling words in her sleep.

I came closer and strained my hearing to make out the words she was saying. And when I finally understood the words she uttered, it felt like daggers.

“You lied to me” she whispered in her sleep as a lone tear fell from the side of her face.

“I know” I replied even if I wasn’t sure if she heard me. Wiping the tear with the pad of my thumb, I caressed her face and leaned forward.

“I know and I’m truly sorry. I’ll do what it takes to earn your forgiveness” I said as I kissed the crease in between her brows.

“I’ll make sure of it”