Giles' Keeper

Why can’t I remember? Anything? I’ve been sat in my old quarters hiding from Giles as it may be. I’m sure if he tried hard enough he’d already know where I am. That man can find me even when I try to make myself unbelievably scarce. It’s been a few days since our last conversation over our meal. Everything is tense with the royal family. Without much knowledge of what happened in those missing months I’ve been afraid to hang about incase I run into Lennon or Draven.

While I couldn’t imagine them doing anything to harm me, I’d hate for questions to be asked that I just can’t answer. Like with Ophelia. I feel as though whatever I said wasn’t what happened in the castle keep. That I’ve missed something terribly important. I frown rubbing at my mouth gazing out over the decaying grounds. The once vibrant garden is a pitying sight to behold. All of Corban’s hard work withering to waste.

Even now when Ophelia and I are alone I feel as though I’m being investigated and my brain is picked. Would it hurt for her to know I don’t remember? This is the first time in the kingdom that I’ve felt truly alone and abandoned. Giles and I’s bond has been blank, it’s starting to drive me mad. I wish Papa was here, he always knew what to do. Papa was never perfect, nor did he claim to be, yet he always knew just what needed to be done, no matter how unsavory it was.

A dainty knock sounds on the door and my nerves sky rocket as I call them in. “Do you have a moment to spare?” Lennon asks, making me want to groan and pretend as though I’m not here.

“What is it that you need Lennon?” I ask, putting on a brave smile offering her a chair.

“I feel as though the kingdom isn’t being handled properly and I’m afraid you just don’t understand how dire the situation is,” she frowns and takes her seat taking her time to adjust her skirts. Wonderful.

“Giles and I don’t appreciate the disrespect,” I begin frowning as I face her watching her flush, eyes flashing at her anger before she tempers it. “That being said, I respect you dearly, you’ve welcomed me here with open arms and I will forever be thankful for that. I believe it’d be reasonable to say that it’s hard for everyone to face the reality for the kingdom,” I remain as politely as I can.

“But there’s something you can do to save us- save the kingdom and the race,” she sighs, shaking her head, Not understanding my reluctance to act. Does this have to do with heirs?

“Why do you feel as though you have the right to decide that?” I ask unsure how else to handle this. I wish Giles would just tell me what we are truly facing.

“Because the race is facing possible extinction if we don’t have heirs. The sun and moon are becoming unstable- it’s only a matter of time before the magic is affected and we are left vulnerable to the humans and their horrid ways,” she clutches her chest with heavy eyes. The sun and moon? “Why are you so reluctant to have heirs and save us? Are you this selfish? Is Giles this selfish? I didn’t raise him in such a way,” she sighs, shaking her head, her tone accusatory. A lump forms in my throat as I stare at her.

“I’m adjusting-” I start, she raises her hand.

“I think that’s an excuse. You need to talk to Giles and bring him to his senses, this foolishness will have us killed. You don’t want the race’s extinction on your hands, their blood, do you?” Her words choke me as I stare at her struggling to not appear more of a fool. I need to confront Giles.

“I think it’s best if you leave, I’m feeling tired,” I state quietly, swallowing the rising emotions that swirl angrily in my head like a swarm of wasps.

“If you don’t act soon, I will not hesitate to take matters into my own hands. If you are too afraid to do what needs to be done, I will ensure this kingdom thrives,” she deadpans standing she shakes her head at me as if disappointed, her threat hanging in the air.

“I am not pleased by your threats, Giles and I are doing what is best for us and the kingdom, if you don’t agree then maybe you should leave,” I return, watching her eyes narrow as she stops at the door.

“You will not kick me out of my home, I will have you removed if you keep failing this kingdom,” she parts with one last threat and leaves making my chest ache. How has everything gone so wrong? Part of me is thankful Giles wasn’t privy to this, the other part of me is so terribly mad at all I’m faced with. This ends today. My chest tightens as I stand in search of Giles, after hunting for sometime I’m finally directed down towards the river.

Outside the wind lashes at my hair, nearly sending me over on my backside with how ferocious it’s become. Clearly something horrible has fallen upon the kingdom. I understood so little before our date that I’ve been left grasping at the surface of water slowly drowning in the unknown. It’s like waking up all over again. Giles looked lost, sitting at the bank of the river away from the path.

If I wasn’t drawn to him I would’ve missed him, his hulking form is hunched over, shoulders slumped like he’s defeated. Have I been too hard on him? I frown at the thought pausing a bit away taking in his disheveled form. “Have you come to yell too?” Giles asks with a heavy voice, tearing bits of grass apart like its colorful celebration paper.

“No…” I trail off stopping behind him, running my fingers through his hair as we stare over the glittering water, accepting the shelter of the trees from the strong winds. “I don’t think I’ve been fair with you,” I admit while enjoying the silky strands of his locks.

“I’ve been rather unfair to you,” he states softly, leaning his strong body against mine, he plants a tender kiss over my skirts where his claws have dug in only a few days prior. Whenever we are together he makes sure to apologize silently, sometimes I’m swamped by his guilt as it overpowers the mental block.

“I feel so lost- all over again as though I’m drowning in the never ending ocean,” I sigh, massaging his scalp, flushing at my words. “I feel a fool whenever I try to talk to anyone and they talk of those months- week even before the coronation. I want- need to know what I’ve missed.” Giles growls lowly at my words before I feel his head nodding.

“It’s not fair for you to be missing that,” he agrees quietly, begrudging to the fact.

“Your mother talked with me this morning, bringing up the sun and moon are becoming… how’d she say,” I frown. My mind is so scattered now. “Unstable.” The word finally graces the tip of my tongue.

“Honey was shot down from the sky after we took the throne, her brother Oberon perished in his grief, dying with his sister,” Giles states quietly, pulling me to his lap, surrounding me with his steady arms. “Ever since then the kingdom has succumbed to the instability. Our magic is tied directly to the sun and moon. The stars are controlled by the sun and moon dragon. Without them, we are slowly weakening, our dragons will become uncontrollable.”

“Is that why everyone seeks heirs?” I ask softly, feeling his chest rumble.

“Yes, as Queen you are the only one capable of birthing the next sun and moon dragons; they are always twins,” he starts off, resting his chin on my head breathing in my scent. “Normally, they are born before the sun and moon dragon reach their elder’s age. They are trained once they earn their dragon. Never have sun and moon dragon’s been born without the elders guidance.”

“We are facing the unknown,” I summarize, his chest expands with each breath, the forest dances with the life of creatures even with the harsh weather.

“Dragon pregnancy is hard, especially so soon after your maturing. Your body has to heal from all of its recent changes. Most matured females have years of waiting before their body is ready to carry a babe to term. With the dire straits of our kingdom and race, I’m not sure if we can wait to try for a babe,” he sighs, I feel the wave of anxiety and pain that beats in his chest breaking his heart with the knowledge.

“It’s dangerous to have a babe so soon after maturing?” I question feeling a weight settle in my belly.

“Females have died from a babe after their maturing. I can feel our first babe will be the sun and moon dragons, I feel we will be blessed immediately with heirs.” A lump forms in my throat, similar to the rock lodged in his chest, the pain blossoms in my own chest.

“In other words I’m likely to perish from mating?”

‘Yes,’ he physically can’t answer my question, troubled by our reality. A sacrifice in deed.

“Our babe’s could perish from the recent maturing,” I whisper, feeling the thoughts flood my eyes with fresh burning tears.

‘Yes my sweet,’ his whisper caresses my mind, cracking under the pain.

“Yet if we do nothing all could die,” the weight of my words hang in the air just as the scent of rain sticks to the whistling wind.

“Some will die either way, we are entering a dark period. With both Corban and Bram away we are weaker than ever. We can not join to share our magic and strength. I can only take so much before I too become faint,” he’s honest. His honesty is what kills me. No matter what people will perish.

“Is there still an outside threat from villagers?” I swallow, feeling the weight of the kingdom fall suffocating us as he hugs me tighter to his chest.

“We can never be sure. Our forcefield will wain the longer we are at battle with the elements, the longer the sun and moon remain unstable. With the birth of our heirs things will ease, but it won’t start to repair until they are granted their dragons and taken to the sky,” he informs me. I feel as though there is still more to come, more to face. My heart pangs at the thought of my children, even unborn as they are, to take flight and never return home again.

“Once granted their dragons…”

“They will be in the sky keeping our sun and moon stable, even and joining together. They will be remembered in all of history as our saviors.”

“But we won’t see them again?” I whimper, choking on the thought of the children we haven’t even conceived yet.

“They may visit for coronations or royal deaths,” he murmurs in my ear, holding me tighter as I weep silently for the reality that faces us.

“Either I may die, our children could pass, or the kingdom dies?”

“Or we lose our children to the sky to save our race,” he finishes for me sharing my pain that churns my belly. Giles rests his hands over my belly as we weep for all that will be and will never be.

“I understand what Ozul meant now,” I choke out, turning to gaze up at his eyes as they dance, colors shifting, blending with his powerful emotions.

“That is?” He questions in a breath watching me intently.

“We must have heirs, even if…” I breathe out flustered, his eyes blinking away his emotion stealing in his unwavering strength. “Even if I can’t make it… they will save the kingdom and the race.” Our foreheads meet, sharing our pain silently as he nods.

“I pray that you are not sacrificed to the kingdom’s survival,” he kissed my tears away. I pray our children will be safe. I pray that our children will know we love them no matter their destiny and how terrible it seems to me. Papa used to say mama was his rib and when she left, he lost a part of him.

Having never met our babies, I feel the same knowing one day they will never return home. Knowing their suffocating destiny.