Galaxy Of Hope

The NYE’s party I had been attending at the College was almost coming to an end.

It was almost sunrise and Andrew and I had spent the entire night together. It had been the most fun I’ve had in years actually. I was running through the red hallway, my black dress swooshing alongside my thighs, cocktail glass dripping liquor everywhere and my high heels in one hand. My naked feet were touching the plush carpet covering the floors and it felt oddly satisfying. Giggling like a little schoolgirl. We were running towards the roof. I laughed over my shoulder at his drunken ass, needing to hold unto the walls to not tumble over. His dark suit jacket hung over his left shoulder, his white shirt unbuttoned and his tie long gone. He had a soft smile on his gorgeous face, a red flush and those high cheekbones and a twinkle in his dark eyes. I had never seen him drunk besides that one night out on the town with Jun. He was so fun when he was buzzed. Note to self to get him drunk more often.

‘Slow down princess, you are going to hurt yourself.’ He laughed, while stumbling over his own two feet. Never not looking out for me.

‘I’m not the one who should watch out tonight.’ I snorted, while walking backwards towards the staircase that led to the roof. ‘Come on!’ I ran his way and grabbed his arm and pulled him after me. He grunted a curse but stumbled after me anyway.

I took his hand and led him towards the edge. There was a long platform, enough space for us to sit down on and not get ourselves killed tonight. I dropped the shoes and put my glass down, attempting to climb up. He stopped me. ‘Let’s get comfortable first.’ He made this grand gesture of sweeping his jacket down for me to sit on. I giggled. He smiled. ‘Princesses first.’

‘Well my dear, what you waiting on.’ I made an awful dad joke and he chuckled anyway, while rolling his eyes. He grabbed my waist and lifted me up. He joined me seconds after, but not as gracefully as he usually did things. We both turned around, letting our feet dangle over the edge. He was now barefoot as well. Our thighs touched and we glanced at the city below us. Twinkling lights everywhere. The giant Ferris wheel was still spinning. People were also still moving below us as if this city truly never slept. We were close to dawn, because the dark, star kissed sky, was turning orange at its bottoms’ edge. Behind the giant hotels, full of bright neon signs, was a vast darkness. The desert as eerie and quiet as always. As if the world just stopped after the city ended.

We sat in silence for a while.

‘It’s so beautiful here…’ I whispered. He had heard though. I saw him glancing at me from my side view. Seemingly a lot more sober than he was a couple of minutes ago.

‘You see that peak over there, next to the big orange sign…’ he pointed somewhere close to the desert. I nodded. ‘I grew up in that neighborhood.’

‘What was it like, living here?’

He stayed silent for a second, sipped from my drink and glanced towards the orange sign again.

‘I did not have the easiest time… Chao practically raised me in that Dija.’ He definitely did not want to talk about it. I could tell instantly. So I asked the safer question.

‘How did you two end up in Rivellin?’

‘Chao was being blackmailed by some-…it doesn’t’ matter. We had to move.’ His voice took on a different lilt. Was he trying to hold back tears? ‘I got adopted and you know how that ended.’

We stayed quiet some more.

The sky was now turning more orange by the minute. The sun was rising.

I choked up a little, it reminded me of mom.

He grabbed my hand. ‘What are you thinking about?’ he softly asked. Not wanting to push me. his thumb rubbing circles on the back of my hand.

I swallowed. ‘It reminds me of…’ I glanced at him. He was staring at me so deeply. ‘Never mind… it’s stupid.’ I wiped away a lone tear that had escaped.

‘If it makes you emotional, it could never be stupid.’ He was sober as a brick suddenly. I took a long sip from my cocktail. Suddenly feeling very small and alone, missing home. My earth home. After having had such a good night like tonight I was feeling guilty for enjoying anything. I had that a lot lately.

‘My mom she…’ he grabbed my hand harder, encouragingly. ‘She loved the Grand Canyon… that was her favorite place in the world so every one of her birthdays we drove over there. It’s a four hour drive to get there and a four hour drive back. We did that every year, since I was five years old.’

A cold gust of air blew over the roof, making my topknot come even more undone. He put a stray hair back in place. I leaned into his hand. ‘We would make sure we made it there at sunrise. Take a picture. Hike around the place and then have lunch at one of the less touristic spots. With view on the canyon.’

He nodded towards the sunrise. Now coloring the sky slightly pink. ‘This reminds you of the sunrises you saw with her.’ He seemed to understand instantly. Own pain reflecting through.

‘When she died…I was eleven…’ his neck snapped towards me. He didn’t realize she hadn’t died when earth fell. ‘We drove towards the canyon one last time, with her ashes. We scattered them at sunrise on her favorite spot. We ate that same picnic we did every year, on the other spot we used to eat it at and drove back. It was the last time I had visited the Grand Canyon or the last time I was awake to see a sunrise.’ My voice choked a little. ‘I could not even see one for years to come even though they had brought me so much joy. I loved sunrises. Yet, I never saw one again because… until now.’

‘I had no idea you lost her that young.’

We stayed silent some more. Watching the sun rise a little bit. Tears kept flowing. He kept on holding my hand.

We went back to the room, built a pillow fort, smoked a blunt and ordered hamburgers for breakfast. We were breaking every rule he had ever had instated. We fell asleep watching old reruns of a comedy show.