Frozen Fire(Mxm)[UNEDITED]

Gunner POV

I sat there for I don't know how trying to register what she had said..

It's time...

I woke Solveig up and told him what our mother's handmaiden said. We both walked towards my mother's chambers in silence, simply because we both didn't know what to say. We had never fully prepared for this moment..

As we entered the room, all the maidens bowed their heads and left the room. Once they closed the doors, the entire room suddenly felt like ice.

Our mother laid on her bed with the curtains dropped. The entire room floor was covered with cloths that were stained with blood. I could hear her coughing and choking from where I stood, I saw her reach towards her mouth and wipe away the stains of blood coming out.

No matter how hard I tried , I could not move. I watched as Solveig slowly made his way to our mother's side and knelt down, taking her hand in his. He kissed her hand and smiled at her even though he was on the verge of tears..

He truly is the strongest of us all..

Even in a time like this, he would not break.

____________

Solveig POV

"It's time" he said.

I walked to my mother's chamber in silence. What could I possibly say to him now that would make him feel stronger.. because in actual fact.. I felt hopeless..

I entered my mother's room and saw her lying on her bed with her cloth in her hand. She looked like she was in so much pain as she struggled to breathe. She continued to choke and cough up blood.

I turned and found Gunner frozen in his place. It was the first time he had seen our mother's severe condition. In the past I would prevent him and our younger brothers from seeing her like that and would only allow them to see her when she had her good days.

This was her request. She didn't want her children to see her in that weak state. She always said that she wanted them to remember her as the lively, happy person she was in her youth.

Giving birth to our youngest brother, really took a toll on her health and she never did recover from it. She tried her best to mask it from us but she could only hid it so much before I eventually found out.

I walked towards her bed and took her hand in mine. I didn't fail to notice that necklace in her hand that she wore almost everyday.

I brought her hand up to my lips and kissed it. She felt so cold for someone who had fire running through her veins. It made it all the more real...

her fire was extinguishing slowly...

"Solveig... is that you?" .. her voice sounded so raspy.. almost like it was painful for her to speak.

"It's me mother.. I'm here" I said. I could feel the tears burning in my eyes like they were begging to be set free, as I desperately held them back.

Growing up, I was conditioned to the idea that crying was unmanly and reserved for weak. That a man must be hard, like something chiseled out of granite.

That, that was the meaning of being strong. To be unemotional and unaffected by anything and everything.

But my mother taught me that strength was something entirely different. She taught me that strength came from being empathetic with others. To feel the pain of others as your pain ,showed true strength.

She taught me that, being emotionally involved with the people around you didn't make you weak.. but it made you human and that one cannot be an effective leader without the empathetic capacity to understand those they are leading.

"Solveig, my beautiful boy" she said as she held my cheek and wiped away the tears that rolled down my cheek. I made no effort to stop them, because in front of her, I could be myself. I could let loose.

"It's okay.. do not cry. God has given me the privilege and honor to call you my son. It's just a shame that I will not get to see you grow into the fine man and leader you were born to be" she said as her breathing became uneven. She had to stop mid way to catch her breathe before she continued.

"Don't tire yourself mother.. " I said as I clasped her hand tightly.

"No, I want to say this.. is your brother here?" She asked , just when Gunner came and took her other hand. She smiled at him even though pain seared through it.

"My beautiful boys..I love you both so much.. though it is difficult to make you understand how emotional women can be. I remember the day on which you born. My heart was filled with so much joy and happiness that I thought it would explode. I so much wanted to lock all of you up and keep you to myself. I wanted to protect you from the evil and hurt of this world, I only wanted you know the joys and happiness of life. " she coughed again and wiped away the blood before she continued..she gulped for air every few seconds.. and yet she wanted to speak to us..

"You boys will always be my everything.. both of you were my pillars of strength and my light. Seeing you grow up into the fine , brave and handsome men you are today, I am contented to leave now. I know you will guard and protect your younger brothers. "

She turned and addressed Gunner..

"Gunner, my precious boy, lean towards being truthful and forgiving. You are going to become strong, wise, and just just like your older brother...

but it's okay to be yourself.. you don't know have to be anyone else. I know you look up to your older brother.. but you don't have to be him..You are beautiful just the way you are, because you have a kind soul. I will watch over you and your brothers till the end of your days. I love you so much" she brought his head up and kissed his forehead.

She turned to me and took my hand with both of hers.

"Solveig my son, my beautiful sun.. you were my first child and my light. I loved you so much from the very beginning. I'm so sorry that I didn't protect you from your father.. I wanted you to be stronger and in turn, I helped him break you.. I hope you will forgive me" she was out of breathe now and I took this opportunity to speak..

"It wasn't your fault mother.. you did everything you could to shield us from him ..."

"It's okay.. let me finish son.. I could not be prouder of the man you grew up to be. Which is why I want you listen to me carefully.. let go my son.. let go of all the hate and anger you feel. I know you think it's the only thing that can protect you, but it will slowly eat at your soul until there is nothing left. Let go, and allow yourself to feel the bliss that life offers. I know you feel like no one will love you or that you will not be able to love anyone.. but it takes time.. there is someone written for each and every one of us, your other half will find you when the time is right, even if it takes years.. so open up your heart to that possibility.. do not try to control every situation and let life take its toll. Remember, the weak and insecure try to control, and the strong know how to let go when it is needed. I love you more than anything. Pass my love to your younger brothers everyday and guard them. " she took her last breathe as she said..

" I will be watching over all of you till we meet again"

I watched as she slowly closed her eyes and her hand fell limply out of mine. Her breathing stopped and the room grew quite. I widened my eyes as it dawned upon me. I bent down and shook her gently.

"Mother...mother..mother please" I dropped to my knees and wailed and sobbed. I didn't care how loud I was ,as I screamed and cried. I took her hand and held it to my chest as I cried.

Throughout my cries, Gunner hadn't made a single sound. The tears flowed down his face but no sound emanated from his mouth. I knew he was trying to be strong.. one of us had to be, one of us had to be strong for our brothers.. but I couldn't.. I just couldn't..

After I cried for what felt like hours I got up and pulled the covering over my mother's cold body and turned around leave ... with only one thought on my mind.. rage.. I could only see red now..

But before I could make it out of the room, Gunner grabbed me into a hug and held on to me tightly. I let the tears flow down as I stood there.. he seemed to understand what I had on my mind and tightened his grip on...

"Don't go"