Forever in the Past and Forever in the Future

It's odd to say I feel more like myself than I ever have before. Almost like, this is the person I was always meant to be. For the most part, I feel more self-confident and I find I'm usually pretty happy. Bronx says he notices a difference and he loves seeing me in such good spirits.

The only thing missing is Lex. Not having her around to share in my new happy life sucks, but I know she will be back soon. I can just feel it.

Bronx and I meditate after dinner and try to connect with Lex and Saint. It's frustrating though. It's like when you're sitting down, and you need a pen and you see one on the other side of the table so you stretch to reach for it but no matter how far you stretch you are just barely not able to grasp it. Just like that pen, I'm certain I am so close to reaching her. I can feel it. Sometimes I hear the distant howl like she is looking for me too. Bronx says Saint is stirring more and it seems like he is paying attention to what Bronx is saying, but still seems reluctant to speak.

The day before Solstice, Bronx takes the day off of work and tells me to dress in layers because we are going to do some special things today. Just the two of us. I

We go to see a movie in the morning. It's the first time I have ever been to a movie theater and I love it. I know it seems odd to go to the movies in the morning, but he tells me he has a ton of other things planned, so it is just a warm up for the day.

After the movies, he takes me to this really pretty indoor botanical garden. There is a huge atrium filled with countless varieties of roses. We walk along the path looking at each one until we get to a variety called Earl Grey. The blooms are light grey with just hints of purple flecks. They are absolutely gorgeous.

"Look closer, Baby," he points to the little sign at the base of the bush. There is a little plaque in front of it that says, "This rose bush is dedicated to the Goddess lokaste by Bronx Mason."

My hands cover my mouth as I look at the little sign, then up to the blooms.

"You had a rose bush dedicated to me? I ask in awe.

"Like it?" he asks, slipping his hands around my waist.

"Oh my Goddess, yes, Bronx. It's absolutely gorgeous," I smile as I look into his shining green eye.

"Not as gorgeous as you," he caresses my cheek, leaning in for a kiss. I hear people coo or giggle at us as they walk by. I swear I hear someone mention him by name, but it must be my imagination. :

When we leave the botanical garden, there is a horse drawn sleigh waiting for us out front in the snow. Bronx helps me in before sitting next to me. The driver gives us big comfy blankets and cups of hot chocolate to keep warm. He then takes us on a wooded path around the botanical garden that is covered with millions of twinkle lights. It is so romantic.

When we get home, we find we missed dinner, so I make us a simple meal in the apartment. He says he loves seeing the look in my eye when I cook, which reminds me of a promise I made to Marco.

"Bronx, I have a question for you," I announce as I put the last batch of cookies into the oven.

"Sure, Baby, what's up?" He looks over from where he is putting the washed dinner dishes away.

"When we were coming back from France, I was speaking to Marco. He told me he would like to learn to cook so when he gets a mate, he can make food for her and not expect her to do it all the time. It gave me an idea. Do you think I could do cooking classes for pack members who are interested in learning how to cook?" I ask, while I wipe my hands clean. "Oh, well that isn't what I was expecting," he smirks.

"Why? What were you expecting?"

"More along the lines of getting cookie tins off the top shelf," he laughs at me.

I flick a puff of powdered sugar at him and giggle, "Now that you mention it, I could use a couple more."

"I think we can discuss it with Mrs. Miller to see if you can use her kitchens for classes," he says as he easily reaches up and grabs the tins for me, "Speaking of ideas, I was thinking about it. I know you want a job of your own and Delilah needs a job too. What if we start working on a business plan for you two to open a bakery? It will give both of you something that is just yours, then you can have your own money and not worry about spending mine...even though I don't mind when you spend mine." "

"Really? Are you serious?! Thank you, Bronx!" I throw my arms around him and give him a deep kiss. He easily catches me in his arms and sits me on the counter. I start to wrap my legs around him when he stops me.

"Wait, Baby, wait," He gently pushes my legs down.

Oh crap, did I do something wrong? He never wants me to stop kissing him.

"What's wrong, Bronx?"

"Nothing's wrong, Baby. I just want to talk about a couple of things. Come on, let's go sit on the sofa."

follow him to the living room and face him. He pulls me onto the sofa next to him.

"So, based on the metric ton of pastries you've made, I take it you know the Winter Solstice is tomorrow."

"Yeahhh..." I say tentatively. Why do I feel like he is about to say something I'm not going to be happy about?

"Well, I just need you to know, before I met you, the Elder Council gave me kind of a deadline," his tone is serious now.

It seems like he's beating around the bush, "Okay. What kind of deadline? Something to do with the pack?"

"Uh yeah, sort of. So, you know how Lenora told you we celebrate Summer Solstice?

Well, we make such a big deal out of it because that is the day we celebrate our Alpha. Kind of like a birthday, but Blood River only ever promotes its Alphas on Summer Solstice, so it's the celebration of the day our Alpha is initiated. We celebrate it every year instead of just when we have a new Alpha." "So we get to celebrate you? Well, that's awesome! Why do I feel like I'm missing something? Because you don't seem to be happy about it. Not to mention, it's six months away."

"So the thing is, the Council gave me until I was twenty-five or Summer Solstice of the year I turn twenty-five to find a mate, mark her and make her the official Luna of Blood River. If I don't, they will strip me of my title." The flicker of recognition crosses my mind," That's me. You found your mate."

He turns his eye to the floor as a sad look crosses across his face, "Kas, if Saint doesn't start talking to me, I won't be able to mark you to complete the mating ceremony and the same if you can't find Lex." :

"We still have time, Bronx," I lean forward and take his hands in mine, "Our connectin is strong and we are so powerful now. I know you can feel it too. We're going to get Saint and Lex back soon. I can feel it. You can't lose hope. I'm not losing hope. I'm not going to let you roll over and give up just because you're sad."

"Yeah, it feels like we just have to figure out how to get one last puzzle piece to fit and we have the whole picture," he looks at me with a sad little smile.

"Exactly. I know patience is not your strong suit but-"

"Hey! Who says I'm not patient?"

"Literally everyone. Carly told me you threw an entire stack of documents across the room the other day because your pen ran out of ink."?

"l-okay. Wait. We're getting off track here. What I want to say is, if for some reason we are not able to get our wolves back and talking to us before the deadline, I want you to know that none of it matters to me if I don't have you. I don't need to be Alpha Regent. I would be fine being a hermit in the corner of the damn pack territory, if it means I get to wake up to your beautiful face every day for the rest of my life." 2

"Aww, Bronx, that's so sweet. I feel the same. I don't care about your title. You're everything to me. I just need you, the rest we can figure out, even if itis in a little shack at the corner of the pack territory," I smile warmly at him. He smiles and slides off of the sofa, kneeling on one knee, "If that's the case, lokaste Latmus, would you do me the honor of becoming lokaste Mason? Will you marry me?"