Forbidden by Fate

Emersyn

I can feel Liam’s body tensing beneath me as he carries me towards the shore, but I am lost in the moment and don’t want to question what is amiss. I just want to forget. I want to close my eyes and see something other than the piercing emerald depths that have consumed me for so long. I want to allow this man that has given me no reason to doubt him, to love me. I want to love him.

But as his lips graze mine, and he gently lays me back upon the moss covered ground, I can feel it. Something is wrong. The sound of the water rushing from the cliff behind us, is too loud, the ground too hard, and I realize reality is sitting back in for the both of us. I feel the warmth of his body pulling away, but I don’t fight it. I sense the change, and I can almost hear the lingering words between us forming.

“I’m sorry. I can’t do this,” he says as he leans back on his knees, a look of worry creasing his handsome face.

I try to pull his lips back to mine, but he reluctantly pulls away. The sting of rejection settles over me. I suddenly feel exposed as I awkwardly try to cover myself with my arms, hugging myself tightly. I question in a small voice, “Is it me?”

I don’t understand what is happening. Liam has given me no reason to believe he wasn’t attracted to me, in fact its been quite the opposite.

His eyes darken with something I can’t quite place as he scoffs, “No, absolutely not! Emersyn, we need to talk.”

The famous last words of any relationship, I think to myself.

I feel like I am on display so I push myself away from him searching the ground for my discarded clothes, as I fight the urge to cry. My mind fills with the worst case scenarios, as I stumble across the slippery rocks, grasping my shirt and pants before sliding them on. I can’t imagine what has caused the usual comical Liam to become so serious, but it can’t be good.

I hear the thud of his footsteps behind me as he follows me, gently grabbing my arm, “Emersyn, it’s not you! I have to tell you something that I should have told you before.”

I turn, pulling from his grasp, grabbing my coat, not wanting to face the fact that the perfect man I have built Liam up as is anything less than what I had imagined. I don’t want to hear it. I want to escape from this moment and forget that it happened.

He continues despite my reservations, “I didn’t just come here to visit. I came because my father insisted. Emersyn, I have to ascend by the next full moon, my father has ran our pack finances into the ground and we are barely surviving. I need to marry you, because our pack needs your dowry to survive.”

The reality of his words hit me like a kick to the gut, and I almost feel the air being knocked from my lungs. I can’t explain the anger welling in the pit of my stomach, but its undeniable flame ignites my soul. But instead of anger seeping through my tone, it is marred with hurt, “You are using me? Has anything you have said been true?”

Liam’s eyes are full of regret as he rushes his words out. “I never meant to hurt you. When I came here, I thought we were both doing what we had to for our packs, but then I got to know you and it was more than that.”

Tears well from my eyes as I mockingly cry out, “You never meant to hurt me, huh? Where have I heard that before?”

“Emersyn, I’m begging you to hear me out!” He says with an undeniable conviction, but I can’t be bothered.

I turn on my heels and break into a run, needing to escape from the pain of being fooled once again. My heart is breaking into a shattered mess that I am not sure can ever be repaired. I hear Liam’s heavy footsteps behind me as he runs to follow me.

“Don’t do this,” he pleads.

I only pause to shimmy through the jagged rocks to find my escape, but it is long enough to hear him whisper, “I had no choice.”

I want to slap him, to hurt him, like he is hurting me, but I am confined between the rock walls. I instead fight the urge to scream at him as I calmly say, “We always have a choice, Liam. You chose not to tell me. To fool me into believing that you were better than Callum. But your both the same. You’re just scared little boys who don’t know how to be a man and tell the truth.”

Liam’s shoulders hunch in defeat as he states, “You don’t understand, my father is forcing me to do this.”

I angrily wipe the falling tears from my face as I curtly ask, “To make me believe that you could love me? To make me believe that you would never hurt me? No, Liam, that’s on you.”

I push myself through the opening in the wall and run with all my might. I am uncertain of where I am going, but I know that it is away from Liam. I am lost, and so confused. I can’t trust my own emotions, and I feel like a volcano on the brink of eruption.

This is not what I thought that love would be. I had some expectation of a fairy tale in my head, as I run without direction, I realize that is a childlike fantasy. Love is messy. Love is frightening. Love is complicated. The reality of the situation is that no man is perfect, and though I am shattered by that realization, it dawns on me that neither am I.

I have been torn between two men, but I have not been true to myself. I am no one’s property, I am person who deserves to be loved with honesty and dignity. I don’t need either of them, but the question has always been, who do I really want?

I find myself to quite literally be on the brink of a life altering decision as I run through the forest, unsure of some things. But of one thing I am certain, I am done being the clueless girl who doesn’t know what she truly wants. I am going to make a decision. Not for my pack. Not for my family. But for me.

And this time, things are going to go my way.