Forbidden by Fate

Callum

I am sitting on the brink of my window sill, overlooking the pond, when I hear the distinct sound of Emersyn’s wolf howling. My wolf grumbles from within, wanting to join her, but I silence him. I know that she is with Liam, and though every part of my mind, body, and soul want to fight it, I am acutely aware of the fact that I pushed her to him. My wolf is angry with me, and rightfully so.

My knuckles clench the trim tightly as I force him into submission. “Not tonight, old friend.”

He growls but relinquishes his grasp on me, leaving me to suffer alone.

It had only been a few hours ago that I had been determined to run, leaving this place forever. But as I looked forlornly out the window, I knew that it would have been the biggest mistake of my life. While I loved Emersyn, she wouldn’t be all that I would lose if I had gone through with my plan. They were the only family I had left and I had almost risked losing them in a rush to judgement. Bad judgement.

When my parents had died unexpectedly, I had lost all sense of who I was and they had been there the entire time, loving me through it. Maverick was right, she deserved more than what I had been willing to give. Not just now, but for months. I had done nothing but push her away and then suddenly expected her to be willing to sacrifice everything for me. I was a fool, and now I was reaping what I had sown.

Emersyn deserved the best, and right now I realized I hadn’t offered her that. I make a vow to myself to fix what I have broken, not only for them, but for me. I didn’t want to be a boy trapped in a man’s body any longer. I wanted to show them that there was more to me than the broken shell of a person I had become.

I knew that not only did I need to make amends with Emersyn, but others as well. Maverick was my best friend and I had treated him as if he was disposable. Callie, The O’ Connors and even Liam, deserved better than what I had given. None of which were going to be easy. I pulled my phone from my pocket and texted Callie.

I am an ass. You deserved better. You don’t have to respond. I won’t message again.

It wasn’t much, but it was a start. I forced myself to grab my coat, knowing where I would find Maverick. I dreaded this conversation, but knew I owed him an apology and hoped he would forgive me. I head to the outdoor fireplace, knowing he will likely be sitting there taking in the night’s air.

Panic nearly swallows me whole when I see him, but I push myself to face the consequences of my actions. He doesn’t even turn around as he says with a low grumble, “You stayed.”

I swallow my pride as I answer, “Yeah, luckily I have a friend who talked some sense into me.”

Maverick turns his head and eyes me with a concentrated look. “What do you want Callum?”

“I want to apologize. I am an idiot,” I say honestly. “But you were right, I need to face this head on. I can’t keep running from my problems.”

“Is that all?” Maverick asks turning his attention back to the fire coldly.

“Maverick, I really am sorry.” I say unsure of what I am supposed to do to convince him.

“Then prove it,” he says as he cuts me a dirty look from the corner of his eye. “Words are cheap, Callum, actions are not.”

“How?” I say as I hear the undeniable laughter from behind me. My stomach drops as I realize, Emersyn and Liam are walking back to the packhouse together.

Maverick stands and whispers under his breath, “It’s now or never.”

I know he is right, but I find myself at a loss for words as Emersyn’s eyes fall upon us. She instinctually tugs her hair behind her ears, and I feel a pang of guilt for the pain I have caused her. Liam’s eyes flash with anger as he starts to walk briskly towards me, I tense anticipating the continuation of today’s onslaught. But I see Emersyn’s hand grasp his as she whispers, “Please, don’t.”

Liam pauses as he looks between the both of us, before allowing his gaze to fall upon her hand. He hesitates for a moment before whispering, “I won’t allow him to hurt you any further.”

Her eyes soften as she looks at him and says with the kind of sadness that rips my heart in pieces, “He can’t do much more than he already has. I will be fine, can you give us just a minute?”

He gives me a warning look before he shakes his head, “I’ll be just inside the door, if you need me.”

Maverick joins him as they walk towards the door, leaving me to face her like I should have done from the beginning. Her voice is tense and full of emotion as she says, “You have exactly one minute to explain why I should even care anymore.”

I want to reach out and cup her face in my hands, to take her in my arms and hold the broken pieces together, but I cannot because I am the one that broke her. “I am so sorry Emersyn.”

“Is that all, really?” She says with the kind of anger that only a scorned women possesses. “I’m done, Callum.”

She turns to walk away from me when I reach out barely grazing her skin. I feel the shock of her skin against the tips of my fingers and I am certain she feels it too, because she turns with anger clearly playing in the depths of her eyes, “Don’t touch me again. You gave up that right the moment you laid hands on another woman less than a day later.”

I throw my hands up in surrender as I plead with her, “Wait. You are right. Please let me explain!”

She is torn between walking away and staying, but she doesn’t move. I continue. “Emersyn, I am still learning how to do this, but I’m trying. I love you, I do, but I panicked. I thought that if I hurt you bad enough that you would never forgive me, and that you could do what you had to do.”

“So, you hurt me so you could help me?” She says in disbelief. “Wow, Callum you are a special kind of stupid.”

This wasn’t going how I intended for it to. “No, that’s not what I meant! Dammit, Emersyn!”

“Damn me?” She says with scorching anger. “No. Damn you, Callum!”

She starts to walk away when the words tumble from my mouth unfiltered. “I was afraid, okay? I thought if I did something to push you away that I wouldn’t get hurt anymore. I thought that if I made you realize how much of a fuck up I really am, that you would run. That you would realize that I am not good enough for you. I was being a selfish ass and you deserve better, you don’t have to forgive me, but I am truly sorry.”

She pauses with her back still turned to me as her shoulders hunch in defeat. She doesn’t say anything as she turns towards me and whispers, “You were the only one who didn’t realize you were enough for me. I have to go, Callum.”

And as quickly as she came, she was gone, heading back to the arms of another. I fought back the sobs that threatened to break free, when I felt a hand gently lay on my shoulder, “You did the right thing.”

I turn towards Maverick as I shake my head unable to speak. But was it enough? Could Emersyn ever forgive my stupidity or had I lost her? Maverick doesn’t say anything as he sits back down in front of the fireplace and pats the rocking chair next to him.

I sit down and for a moment, I allow the dam to break free and the tears to escape as I sit with the only person in the world, who still believes I am worthy of saving. He doesn’t say anything he just sits and allows me to drown in my sorrow, and I have never been more grateful to call him my family.