Fix You (The Playlist BOOK 1)

Song- I Want You to Want Me by Cheap Trick

I wake up with my back pressed against his chest. His heavy arm is slung over my waist. I can tell by his slow, shallow breaths that he’s still asleep.

I stare at his arm, studying the tattoos covering his skin. There is an intricate portrait of a man along with a beautiful wolf. In the background, there are beautifully designed geometric shapes and patterns. I want to study the rest of him but I don’t want to wake him.

I lay contented in his grasp, feeling his warm, hard body against mine. His arm moves slightly and I realize my shirt is bunched up over his arm, leaving my lower body completely exposed. I wiggle to maneuver the shirt under his arm and back down over myself.

He groans and pushes his hips forward. For a second I’m not sure what I’m feeling. Something long and hard rubs against my panties.

I gasp and blush a deep red when I realize what it is. He pushes his hips forward again and my canines release.

A whimper slips through my lips even though I try to stop it. Elijah growls loudly behind me, now fully awake.

He quickly rolls himself on top of me. His eyes flicker from green to gold as he stares down at me. When he sees my teeth he pushes his hips forward again, rubbing against my very wet panties.

He pushes his lips against mine possessively, massaging and exploring every part of my mouth. Ripples explode across my body, like every nerve is on fire, raw and open. I’ve never been kissed before. As far as first kisses go, this seems pretty damn good.

“Goddess, your smell is driving me insane, I want you so bad,” he pants against my lips.

His hips grind down on me harder and the muscles in his chest quiver.

"Shit, I want to taste you and fuck you and mark you,” his words make my stomach clench. I want him to do those things.

He starts to lap his tongue over the tender flesh of my neck, in the spot where my mark belongs. The sparks shooting down my spine are almost more than I can take.

I claw at his shirt, helping him yank it up and over his head. I stare at the tattoos that cover every inch of his skin. As my eyes scan over the intricate details I freeze. Just above the tattoos, on the spot where his mark belongs is a hickey.

My stomach rolls and I push him off of me. I jump up from the bed and pull myself into the bathroom, slamming the door closed just as he reaches out for me.

“Sorsha,” he taps lightly on the door, “please come talk to me. What’s wrong?”

“Go fuck yourself,” I whisper but he hears it and growls loudly.

I stare at myself in the mirror. My cheeks are flushed and my lips are swollen. My eyes are red and dark. My wolf wants to take over, to protect me. She’s furious. I can feel her hurt and anger radiating through me.

“Sorsha,” he whispers against the door.

I jump into the shower, furiously scrubbing his touch from my skin. When my tears stop falling and my skin is free of his scent I step out and pull my wet hair into a towel. I don’t want to face him yet so I blow out my hair, going over each section slowly.

A lot of people don’t wait for their mate. I guess I just hoped that mine would wait for me. That hickey didn’t look very old. How much could he have possibly missed me if he was out fucking around.

I can still see the shadow below the door. He’s still waiting there. When my hair is dry I look at myself in the mirror, my eyes are red but otherwise I look fine, pretty even.

Still wrapped in my towel I take a deep breath and pull the door open. He stops pacing mid stride and stares at me.

I act like he isn’t there, stepping into my closet and slamming the door closed. I slip on a black bodysuit under tight jeans. I pull heeled ankle boots on and decide to go to Gemma’s.

When I open the door he’s sitting on the end of my bed, he’s so close he could touch me.

“Sorsha, please let me explain. It was from the day before the conference. I hadn’t met you yet.”

I nod but don’t say anything.

He runs his hand through his hair, “please, say something. Yell at me, cuss at me. Something!”

“Is that why you were so upset to find me?” My voice breaks at the end, “because you already have someone else?”

He jumps up and grabs my shoulders, “no! I swear on the Goddess herself, she means nothing.”

I think that was meant to make me feel better but it doesn’t. My lip trembles so I pull it into my teeth and bite down, hard.

“Please, don’t cry. Fuck!” He starts pacing again, “I’m always fucking this up!”

He grabs my face in his hands, “I don’t know how to do this. I can fight and train. I’m great at mentoring warriors. I don’t know how to be a mate or how to talk to you without hurting you. Everything is so fucked up and it’s my fault but you’re the one that’s going to be hurt by it.”

I get the feeling that he is talking about more than just the hickey. His eyes dart frantically between mine and I can feel his inner turmoil. He’s still holding something back.

I don’t want to fight with him right now. I’m hurt that he clearly didn’t wait for me but if it was before we met, I can’t really blame him.

I’ll be calm and have patience, maybe he will open up to me soon. The Moon Goddess said he has walls up, I just have to get in.

“Will you come meet my Aunt Gemma?”

He looks surprised.

“I would love to,” his voice is soft.

Without another word, I turn to leave. As we reach the bottom of the top flight of stairs he grabs my arm.

“I’m sorry I didn’t wait for you but I swear it’s completely over,” he searches my face but I try to hold my emotions back, not allowing the hurt to show.

“It’s fine, lets just go,” I turn to leave, I don’t want to be vulnerable anymore today.