SWNOVELS Fear The Reapers: Chapter 36
Do you ever feel like your past just won’t fucking die? Like, no matter how many times you bury that bitch, she just keeps resurrecting itself. The minute Atlas, Tristan and I stepped into the basement of Hell’s Tavern, my past reared its ugly head again. Only this time, the bitch was way more ugly than I remembered.
Strung up and hanging from the center of the room were the monsters that haunted my dreams. Fear froze my body as I stood in the darkness and watched them sway. My mind had replayed that nightmare so many times that even four years couldn’t dilute the effect they had on me.
They were still alive. Bruised and battered, but cognizant enough to avert their eyes when they heard people entering the room.
Gavin, the boy I thought I could love, hung limply in the middle, while his two asshole friends flanked his sides. Time had not been good to Gavin. His once lean, tan, and athletic body was now bloated and pale. Probably the result of years of excessive drinking combined with the haughty desk job his daddy probably secured for him.
Time hadn’t been good to his friends either, but I didn’t give a shit about his friends. They were just the pathetic boys who hung on Gavin’s every word and helped him orchestrate my worst nightmare.
“Why?” I breathed, flashing my eyes to the four men I knew orchestrated the whole thing.
It was a loaded question, if there ever was one. I knew why The Reapers brought Gavin, Zeke, and Derek here. They were the men who had hurt and defiled me in the worst ways imaginable. If there was one thing I knew about The Reapers, it was that they didn’t take kindly to people touching what was theirs. What I couldn’t understand was why they brought me into it.
“They are your d… demons, baby,” Tristan said, touching the small of my back, “it’s time you faced them.”
I stepped forward into the light on shaky knees. I could do this. I could confront the demons that haunted my nights.
“You?” Gavin asked incredulously as soon as I stumbled into the light. “You are what this is all about? Jesus fucking Christ.” He spat, shaking his head with disbelief. “Look, gentlemen, the pussy was good. But it was never that good.”
Shame flamed my cheeks. Even before he raped me, I had willingly had sex with him. I had chosen him because he was the safe, smart choice. I wanted a normal life, and he seemed to fit the mold. I was so distracted by his image that I missed all the glaring warning signs. Gavin Anderson was a monster.
“Shut the fuck up.” Atlas hissed, crushing his knuckles against Gavin’s nose with a swift punch.
Gavin’s head jerked back violently, and within seconds blood was trickling down his face. Stunned into silence, he blinked back tears as his eyes shifted between the five of us.
“What am I supposed to do with them?” I asked, chewing on my lower lip.
“Whatever you want, Angel.” Ezra said, moving to stand beside me. “You’re the one in control here.”
“She’s fucking all of you. Isn’t she?” Gavin declared with a harsh laugh. “Damn Steph, I didn’t think you had it in you. Babe, if you wanted a foursome, you should’ve just said so. Derek and Zeke would’ve been down.”
I flinched at the sound of bones cracking as Cyrus kicked in Gavin’s knee cap. The scream that escaped Gavin’s lips was guttural, but the idiot continued mocking me.
“You’re as pathetic as ever, Steph.” He winced, putting weight on his other leg as he spit the blood still filling mouth. “Letting them fight your fucking battles. You’re weak!”
“Gavin, shut the fuck up, idiot.” One of his friends hissed. “You are going to get us all killed.”
Gavin may have been a stupid asshole, but he was right. The Reapers were fighting my battle for me. If I wanted to prove that I could survive in their world, I needed to step up and show it.
My eyes darted around the room, looking for something I could use to show I meant business. In the far left corner of the room, I could see what looked to be a table, topped with a variety of tools.
“Can I?” I asked, gesturing towards the corner.
Surprise briefly flashed across all of their faces before returning to their usual stoic expressions.
“You have free rein, Princess.” Cyrus offered, eyeing me with caution.
I floated towards the tools, fascinated by the sheer amount of choices I had. There were no guns or large knives, nothing that would make death come quickly. Each tool would make the pain as excruciatingly slow as possible, and I was having a hard time deciding.
The Reapers probably assumed I was only trying to scare Gavin and his friends. But I didn’t want to just scare them. I wanted to hurt them. Wanted to make them pay for their crimes in blood.
Then I spotted it. A pocket knife. It was almost an exact replica of the knife Gavin used on me that night. This one’s blade was a little sharper, but the size and shape of it was uncanny. Talk about poetic justice.
I stalked towards the three of them, forming a sinister smile on my face. I wanted to elicit the same fear their violence had given me night after night.
“She’s not going to do anything.” He snarled, glancing at both of his friends. “She doesn’t have the fucking balls.”
“It’s funny you should say that,” I said with a smirk as I slid the blade down his fleshy gut. “I think I’ll start with removing yours.”
Tiny beads of sweat dripped down his brow as he watched my blade glide lower and lower. Just as the tip of the blade reached his waistband, I paused, wanting to relish in the fear in his eyes. His eyes were frozen, locked on the blade that was mere inches away from cutting off his most vile weapon.
I slashed the blade up his stomach and laughed, feeling the blood splatter hit my face.
“Like I’d ever choose to go near that tragic excuse for a cock again.” I sneered, smiling as he shrieked in agony.
After the first cut, Gavin’s body tried to curl in on itself, but the ropes biting into his wrists wouldn’t allow it. His pain. His pure agony would be on display for us the entire time.
The sweet smell of violence engulfed the room as I continued my assault on Gavin’s body. Slashing and slicing wherever the blade would land. My movements were frantic and deranged as sticky sweat coated my skin, but I could stop myself.
I wanted him to suffer. I wanted him to feel every slice in his bones. I didn’t want to just scar his skin; I wanted to leave a permanent mark on his soul. I wanted to hurt him as badly and as deeply as he hurt me.
It wasn’t until Tristan was pulling me away and Ezra was wrapping my wounded hand, that I realized Gavin was dead. He had always seemed like this immovable force. Like this persistent ghost that would always haunt me. But as I looked at the blood on my hands and the cold bloody body hanging from the castors on the ceiling, I realized Gavin was human. He felt pain like a human, bled like a human, and died like a human.
“Are you okay?” Atlas asked, tilting my blood-stained chin up to face him.
“Yeah. I’m fine.” I said, nodding my head as Ezra dressed my wounds, “it’s mostly his blood.”
“Not what he meant, baby.” Tristan chuckled, throwing his black hoodie on me as Atlas wiped the blood off of my face.
“You guys came prepared.” I noted, seeing their full medical supply kit. “Cool.”
The three of them stared at me like I had sprouted another head.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Atlas asked, pulling his brows together with a scowl.
Why the hell did no one believe me? I was totally fine. Relieved, even.
“She’s fine.” Cyrus quipped, walking over to us. “Maybe if you guys weren’t surrounding her like a hungry pack of hyenas, she’d give you a normal response. Stevie, let’s go get some air.”
Fresh air wasn’t a bad idea. Atlas had cleaned most of the blood off my face, but I could still taste Gavin’s death in the air. I couldn’t believe I had ended a life only a few minutes ago. I expected to feel guilty. To have this monumental conflicting moment, where I struggled with my moral compass. But that didn’t happen. He committed his crimes, and I dealt out the punishment he deserved. I had no second thoughts about what I did. It wasn’t normal, or expected, it just was.
“What about them?” I asked, eyeing the two men still hanging from the center of the room.
“We’ll take care of it, Angel.” Ez said, giving me a wink. “Go with Cyrus.”
Cyrus led me up the stairs and out the back entrance of the building. So much had changed since the first time I entered this building.
Would Alex recognize me if she saw me?
Did I even recognize myself anymore?
Cyrus leaned against the wall, pulled out a pack of Camel Crushes, and held the pack out to me, offering me one. I wasn’t normally a smoker. But hell, I just killed a man. A little poison wouldn’t hurt me.
I took a cigarette from the pack and fidgeted with my hands, not knowing what to do. I had no problem murdering someone, but being alone with Cyrus had me turning into a nervous wreck.
“Here, let me.” He said, grabbing the cigarette and placing it between my lips.
Our eyes locked as he flicked his Zippo, and the flame flickered to life. I took a deep inhale and averted my eyes as he stepped away, trying to stop the emotions from bubbling up.
“Thank you.” I hesitated, trying to find the right words, “For this. For being here. I know I fucked things up between us and I just… thank you.”
Cyrus stalked towards me, his emerald eyes a storm of emotions I couldn’t decipher. His large hand gripped tightly around my jaw as fear and excitement rushed through me, sending my pulse skyrocketing.
“Let’s get one thing straight.” He spat, as our eyes locked, “You are mine and I take care of what’s mine. Don’t thank me for something that’s a given. Alright?”
I visibly swallowed and gave him a nod, doing everything in my power to avoid thinking about the last time we were this close.
“I have to help clean up,” he said, releasing my jaw, “come inside when you’re ready.”
“You aren’t going to stay to keep an eye on me?”
“There’s no need.” He drawled, reaching for the door. “You’re a smart girl, by now you know what will happen if you run.”
I smiled to myself like a fucking idiot, then immediately cursed. Back-handed compliments laced with threats seemed to charm my idiotic pussy these days.
I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes. Savoring each drag of my cigarette as the warm sunshine kissed my face. It was hard to believe that so much had happened, and it wasn’t even noon yet.
I flinched as I felt a strong hand wrap around my bicep.
What the fuck was with people grabbing my arms?
“Jacob?” I asked, peering up at the man holding me in place. “What the fuck are you doing here?”
It was him. Last I heard, they fired him shortly after my first visit to the bar. If the guys knew he showed up out of nowhere and grabbed me like this, they would annihilate him.
“You shouldn’t be here.” I said, pulling my arm out of his grasp. “Get out of here. Now.”
“Listen, I know. Jessie mentioned you might be by today.” He said as his eyes shifted around us. “I’ve been waiting for you for the last couple of weeks and this may be my only chance. I kept ignoring the calls and deleting the voicemails because I didn’t know who it was. I don’t know how she got my number, but there’s something you need to hear.”
For a moment I stared at him like he was a lunatic. I had barely spoken to the guy a few weeks ago, and we were acquaintances at best. I didn’t give a fuck about what was on his voicemail. It had nothing to do wi-
Fuck. Alex.
As soon as I realized, I snatched the phone out of his hand and looked at the text messages. Fifteen unanswered and all from Alex.
“I deleted a few, before I knew what it was…” Jacob admitted, scratching his head as he averted his eyes.
“You could’ve at least responded and told her she had the wrong number.”
I was taking my anger out on him and it wasn’t fair, but I was pissed.
“I know alright, I’m sorry. Just listen to the voicemails and you’ll see why I had to find you.”
“Stevie, that girl called again. I know you said to stay away, but she’s saying that The Reapers have you chained up in their basement and that she’s a friend. I don’t trust her, but I don’t know what to believe. I need you to call and tell me it’s not true. Fuck, please tell me it’s not true.”
Numbly, I pulled the phone away from my head and tapped the next voicemail. This wasn’t happening, this could not be happening. There was only one person who would have it out for me. Melanie.
“Stevie, I don’t give a fuck what you say and you can beat my ass later, but it’s been two weeks and I still haven’t heard from you. She wants me to meet her at Maria Cantina and I’m going. I need to know what happened to you.”
Alex sounded so upset in her last voicemail. I knew how hard it was for me to live without her, but I never stopped to think about how she would feel, living without me. Melanie took advantage of her biggest fear and was using it against her to get to me. I was the one she really wanted.
“When did you get the last one?” I hissed, piercing my eyes at Jacob as I deleted the evidence from his phone.
Jacob shook out his stupor and looked up at me.
“Huh?”
“When. The fuck. Did you get the last one!” I screamed, tossing his phone back at him in a blind rage.
“Two days ago.” He winced, rubbing the spot where his phone hit. “Jesus. Anger problems much?”
I wanted to murder him, but then I’d have two dead bodies on my hands and would be no closer to saving Alex.
“Jacob, I need a ride. Can you grab your car and meet me behind the fire escape in one minute?”
“I don’t know if I should…” He trailed off. “You seem pretty angry and I don’t want to get involved.”
I let out an exasperated breath and pulled him towards his car.
“You can and you will. My friends, The Reapers, you’ve met them, right? They’re in there right now. If they find out you refused to help me, I don’t know what they’d do. But if you help me, I can guarantee they’ll never know you were here. It’s up to you.”
“You’re a crazy bitch.” He mumbled with a scowl as he stepped into his car.
“I’m aware.” I said, heading towards the backdoor. “Fire escape. One minute.”
Shutting the door behind me, I paced towards the women’s restroom. I couldn’t let them see that anything was wrong. I tried to keep my movements relaxed and my expression blank despite the storm brewing inside of me.
“Stevie. Is everything okay?” Atlas asked, stopping me just before I entered the restroom.
“Yeah, fine.” I said, giving him a tight smile. “You’ve asked me three times already. I’m beginning to think it’s you that isn’t okay.”
“You seem a little… on edge.” He responded, looking at me suspiciously.
“Was it too much for you?” Tristan added, moving to stand next to Atlas.
They were asking about the murder of the man that had done the most heinous things imaginable to me. In all honesty, it wasn’t. It was cathartic. The rush I got from exacting my revenge gave me a high and I was happy only moments ago, but the news about Alex had sent me crashing back down.
“I’m fine. I just really need to use the ladies’ room.” I said, faking a little potty dance.
“You s… sure?” Tris asked, with a penetrating stare that went straight to my gut.
“Yes.” I said, giving them a smile I didn’t feel, “I’ll be right back.”
And just like that, I lied to them. Again.
Guilt gnawed at my gut as I walked through the restroom, and I felt it even more as I climbed through the fire escape. By the time I hopped into Jacob’s red camaro the tears had completely blurred my vision. and hopped into Jacob’s car.
“Where to?” Jacob asked, anxiety warbling his voice.
“Maria’s Cantina on second street.” I said, turning away so he couldn’t see my face. “If anyone asks, tell them I ran away.”
I expected the feeling of guilt to lessen the further we got away from them, but it only kept ripping me further apart. I was doing this for Alex, for the only family I had left, so why did I feel like such a traitor?