F#ck Festive Day

The Waterside Queeff’s chamber of commerce were amazed at the news crews and tv stations all signing up to rent land, houses and food trucks to project the fateful game around the countryside and surrounding Kingdoms but at the same time they wanted to thank Dhobit for putting their tiny little town on the world map. They passed a law amongst themselves saying that Dhobit & Fizzle Mittenglitter never had to pay rates or for their power for 20 years as a way of saying thank you to them for injecting so much money and so many people into the community.

Bit hard to believe they injected people into the community...how about you get your head around three seperate kingdoms all descending on a town of 500 at once and see what happens. Already Waterside Queeff was stretched to breaking point and there was still weeks to go till the match started and The Waterside Queeff’s chamber of commerce were amazed at the news crews and tv stations all signing up to rent land, houses and food trucks to project the fateful game around the countryside and surrounding Kingdoms but at the same time they wanted to thank Dhobit for putting their tiny little town on the world map. They passed a law amongst themselves saying that Dhobit & Fizzle Mittenglitter never had to pay rates or for their power for 20 years as a way of saying thank you to them for injecting so much money and so many people into the community.

Bit hard to believe they injected people into the community...how about you get your head around three seperate kingdoms all descending on a town of 500 at once and see what happens. Already Waterside Queeff was stretched to breaking point and there was still weeks to go till the match started and 'Festive Day' was upon them. Vagrants were setting up camp sites anywhere they wanted and raising hell with the locals, the crime rate quadrupled, ( the Police Chief loved this because it gave his team members people to practise their skull thumping techniques on), and as fast as food and supply trucks arrived they were sold out within hours with more things needed as quickly as they could get to this festering cosmopolis.

A local news crew pulled up at Dhobits home and raced up to his porch where the sleeping Dhobit was chasing Fizzle in his dreams then they started asking questions and doing a news report.

LIVE TO AIR

"Excuse me...Dhobit Mittenglitter were you aware of the impact your letters would have and how much damage they would do to your community?” said the news man stuffing a microphone into the snoring face of Dhobit.

“...zzz...zzz....zzz....wuh?.....who are you?” said Dhobit waking up with a start and realising he was now being beamed across the country on tv.

1000′s of miles away his cousins were watching tv at the same time he was being interviewed and they all screamed with laughter seeing Dhobit wake up in shock. Dhobit regained some composure and answered the tv reporter...

“What was the question again please?” said Dhobit trying to wake up as fast as he could given the circumstances. The reporter asked again....

“Dhobit Mittenglitter were you aware of the impact your letters would have and how much damage they would do to your community?”

“No I wasn’t...all I wanted to have happen was for my family, that I love, to come to Fud Rugby Park because we couldn’t have all my relatives here because my place is too small...and its turned into this. It is weird that from such humble beginnings and an invitation to share a sporting event with the locals here it has been blown out to some huge grudge match now and my community is suffering because of it. I’m sorry it has gotten to this so quickly BUT...I AM CONFIDANT THAT MY FAMILY WILL WIN THE GAME” and Dhobit stared down the barrel of the live tv camera as he said this and in living rooms, family rooms, jail cells, libraries, hospitals, units, houses, schools, milk sheds, toilets, supermarkets, fast food outlets, infectious disease units, universities, child infant centres and pretty much anywhere that had a tv and had people who were remotely related to Dhobit and Fizzle Mittenglitter a huge cry rang out the likes of which had never been heard and most likely would never be heard again...until game day.

Dhobit was a hero in their eyes and the bond between their family grew in size with that sentence and people who were not sure if they would go to the match...were now coming as well to watch the game and meet Dhobit Mittenglitters and his wife in person.

In town the Police Chief was watching the news on his B&W tv and he punched a hole directly through his desk in a fit of rage at being told he would loose the impending game so he put an APB to all of his troopers and team mates that training would now be doubled as a result of what Dhobit had just said. This made for some pretty unhappy troopers who were already training twice as hard as they normally would have and it made them hate the name Mittenglitters even more. ( if that was possible? )

After the tv broadcast within 2 days 5 mail trucks arrived with fan mail from all over the world. The hate mail and death threats were still there but not as many and some people had even donated some money to help Dhobit and Fizzle cope. This was gratefully received and Dhobit hired the kids who lived either side of his home to help sort the mail and answer it directly. Dhobit’s notoriety was bouncing through the roof and so was his towns.

The game was getting closer!

“Anyone who believes that males are the equal of females has never seen a male trying to wrap a “Festive Day” present.” Author