Fated is overrated

Lola POV

Waking up is my least favorite part of the day. No, let me rephrase, my least favorite part period. I am so not a morning person, more of a night owl.

Groaning at my alarm plunging its way into my head, greatly enforcing my already throbbing headache from a bad night of sleep, I start plowing my way from under the covers. The last few weeks have gone by in a blur. I went to school. I received beatings again. Some were more severe than others, but luckily none are deforming me in the face again, probably to avoid any suspicions from the principal. I spent my spare time studying all the different species- witches, vampires, the fae and even dragons if they still exist. All the species just have remarkable traits, all of them have pro's and con's to keep the balance and have none of the species ready to obliterate the other (not that none of them have tried- there have been many wars among the Kingdoms). The closer I am getting to my birthday, the harder it seems for me to be able to fall asleep and stay asleep at night. Moody as ever, I walk to the bathroom and stare at my reflection in the mirror.

As expected, I look the same as I feel, like sh*t. I look like a bear who didn't get to finish his winter sleep. Of course, I wouldn't know what would even look like, but I can just imagine it would look like me right now (only a lot more furry).

The birthday party still being a week away, I can only imagine what I will look like a week from now. It's possibly also the reason I am having such a hard time sleeping, as I can feel the anxiety of possibly meeting my mate building inside me. I don't want a mate. And I guess I'm afraid the bond will affect me more than I would like. Hearing all the stories from fated mates it seems impossible to ignore the bond and that scares me sh*tless.

I don't want to be dependent on anyone and I certainly don't want to lose my entire being to someone else. Not to mention the fact that the wolf would be from this pack and I am going to leave after school, I know it's very unromantic of me and very -again- not "lady-like" of me, but I don't care.

I refuse to submit myself to some assh*le (I refuse to submit, period, though - any relationship should be equal in my opinion). The only one I could even think of not rejecting immediately would be Jason. And perhaps Sebastian as well.

I just hope I will be able to catch some sleep at all in the upcoming week. Grumbling, I start undressing and turn on my shower, hoping it will do some good for my sleepy appearance. After having briefly showered, I

grab my towel, dry off quickly and take another brief look into the mirror. Meh, I've looked worse I guess, I slightly chuckle to myself. The bruises and cuts from my near death experience a few weeks ago is almost completely healed by now and I have good hopes it will be fully cleared by the time of my birthday. This reminds me - I still need to find a way to get a gift for Nadia and Jason.

I don't exactly have much money or belongings, but I really want to give them something for their special day. I'll go into the human town after school and before my lessons to find them something, even if it is the last money I have.

They more than deserve it. Still scrambling to find my clothes I hear Nadia's loud voice booming from downstairs "hurry your a*s up girl we are late for school!". Whoops. Picking up the first items I can find (of course a baggy sweater and some jeans) I throw them on me, nearly tipping over while I try to re-adjust the sweater and put my shoes on at the same time.

I bustle down the stairs "ready!" and see Nadia looking at me with a slightly annoyed look on her face "every day it's the same routine. Why don't you put your alarm 5 minutes earlier?". Blushing embarrassedly at her words, I apologize. "Sorry, I have just been having a really hard time sleeping lately," while walking out the door.

"How's that so? Anxious for the big day?" "well yeah, aren't you? And you know me - you know I am terrified of possibly having a mate here in this pack" I sigh. She pauses for a minute before answering, "I know you are. But some guys really aren't that bad.." "yeah, but 99,99% of them really are".

I know she is hinting at Jason of course. "well anywho, just try not to worry too much about it. There is nothing you can do about it anyway. Cross the bridge when you get to it". Easy for you to say... "I'm trying. But it's not that easy for me", earning me a sympathetic, understanding smile, before she wraps her arm around my shoulders and we continue our walk with normal chit chat.

Getting up to school we walk down the hallway and up to our lockers, to find mine befouled with red paint and the words "pig" written on it.

What a great way to start one's day! As if I wasn't moody enough already from the lack of sleep. "f*ck those bastards" I hear Nadia exclaim next to me.

One could almost see steam blowing from her ears and I have to admit I am furious on the inside as well, but I won't let them see they have gotten to me. I won't give them the pleasure. So instead, I smile to Nadia and say " you know what? I like pigs, they're cute!". She looks at me like she just saw water going up in flames or something, so I throw her a wink. I grab my books from my locker and usher them into my bag while she leans in and whispers "why are you so calm?!" "because I won't give them any satisfaction of getting under my skin.

And honestly, those idiots are the ones to be laughed at anyway, considering they don't own a single active brain cell in their bodies". With that, I slam my locker shut and we proceed to our classes.