Chapter 32
"She's a knock-out!" Jonah exclaimed when they reached the stable. "She looks way more beautiful in person than she does in her YouTube videos." "Stop gushing over my woman, Jonah. You're a married man, remember?" Derek laughed. "Any yes, you are right. She is beautiful." "Jeez, I never thought that the day would come when you would refer to any woman as your woman. My dear friend, I think you are smitten!" Derek smiled. "Maybe I am," he said. "To be honest, I have never felt this possessive with any woman before. Rachel is simply different."
"I can tell," said Jonah with a grin. "And I can also tell that she's in love with you."
Derek sighed. "Yeah, I know. She told me two days ago."
Jonah gasped dramatically. "And what did you say?"
"That it was the most beautiful thing ever," said Derek, embarrassed. "I know that's a lame response, but I didn't want to lie to her."
"What do you mean? It wouldn't have been a lie if you'd told her that you loved her too, man. Look at you, you're beaming like a thousand floodlights and I know it's because of Rachel."
"I don't know, man," Derek said uncertainly. "I don't know what love feels like and I don't want to confuse my excitement with love. I need to be sure about how I'm feeling before I make a declaration that I might regret later." Jonah sighed. "I know you don't believe in love but it is people like you who eventually fall hard. And from the looks of it, you're in already."
Derek laughed. “I don't think so. I'm very fond of Rachel and that's understandable because she's an amazing woman. But love... I'm not sure that's what I feel for her."
"How would you know?" Jonah scoffed. "Meanwhile, Bermuda? Really? Of all the places you could've chosen around the world to vacation in, you chose the place where your mother died tragically? Why?"
"It was Rachel's choice. She's not aware that that's where my mother died. I simply told her that my mother died in a plane crash but I didn't tell her where."
"Why then didn't you try to convince her to choose another location?"
"Why would I? What's wrong with Bermuda?"
"Don't you feel a type of way about going there?"
Derek shrugged. "I'm over my mom's death if that's what you're talking about. I don't see how traveling there would affect me in any way."
"If you say so..." said Jonah, unconvinced. "So, it's a Fraser world tour for one year, huh? Lord knows you are way overdue for a break. You work so hard that I get scared on your behalf. You were practically working yourself to death!" "Well, that's about to change now," Derek said happily. "I'm going to speak to my COOs this morning and I can almost predict their reactions. They'd probably think that I'm losing my mind."
"I would have thought the same thing if I didn't get to see you in person and know why you've made this decision," Jonah laughed. "But trust me, buddy, you're taking a step in the right direction." "Thanks, man. And point of correction, it is the Fraser and Lane world tour," said Derek with a grin. "She's not a Fraser. Yet."
******
The fish pond was near the vegetable garden and bordered by tomatoes and cabbages. There was a variety of fish in the water including koi carps, goldfish, sturgeon, sunfish, and gobi.
They swam around the pond so blissfully that Rachel envied them. What wouldn't she give to be able to float around life like this without any cares or worries?
Without having to wonder if the man she was in love with felt the same way about her or if he was only pampering her and her daughter out of guilt.
"These fishes are beautiful," she said in awe. "How can you stand the thought of eating them?"
Vanessa laughed. "Oh no, we don't eat them. We get our edible fish from the fish farm market nearby. These are just pets."
"Thank goodness," said Rachel with a dramatic sigh.
"Here, have these," said Vanessa, passing a bag of fish pellets to Rachel. "They get super excited once they spot their meal."
True to her observation, the fishes began to swim more frantically towards the edge of the pond as soon as Rachel stretched her hand forward with a handful of pellets.
She sprinkled them on the water and was initially startled when some of the fish jumped to the surface of the pond to catch the falling food with their mouths.
"Wow!" Rachel squealed with delight. "This is fun!"
Vanessa laughed and watched as Rachel continued to sprinkle more pellets into the pond while the happy fishes put on a show for her. It was like watching a child discover a new trick. Vanessa oddly felt a strong maternal instinct toward Rachel even though they were only a few years apart in age.
"I think you have successfully overfed these guys today," Vanessa commented after a few minutes of watching Rachel's generous fish feeding. "I don't think they'll be mad if I don't feed them again today after this."
Rachel laughed and returned the bag of fish feed to Vanessa. "I agree. That was fun and relaxing."
After putting the bag of feed away, the two women sat on the boulders that lined the pond and watched the fish swim about calmly. The air was warm and the sun was shining brightly above them.
The awning above the backyard patio provided the perfect shade for them. It was such a peaceful morning that was punctuated with the distant sound of the mooing cows grazing in the field, and the bubbles of laughter from the children upstairs.
"Don't you think we should check on the girls upstairs and see how they're doing?" Rachel asked her host.
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"Don't worry about them. The nanny is with them,” replied Vanessa smoothly.
"Oh, I didn't know you have a resident nanny."
"Two, actually. I can't imagine running this farm, maintaining my job at the magazine, and raising the girls full-time. That's way too much for one person to handle."
"You work at a magazine?" Rachel was surprised.
"Yep. I'm a columnist for the Garden Variety magazine. It's a self-help women's magazine that touches on every topic that concerns us. I write about gardening and farming, and offer new tips on how to start your own home garden, as well as DIY tips to make the process more fun and less intimidating."
"That's phenomenal," said Rachel, impressed.
"Thanks," said Vanessa. "I am determined to make sure that my degree in Agriculture does not go to waste."
"Well, my degree in Library Science has gone to waste," laughed Rachel. "I now film YouTube videos for a living, which is way more fun than working in a library."
"I started a YouTube channel once," Vanessa mused. "I couldn't keep up with it. I felt so silly sitting in front of a camera and just rambling on and on about plants and animals."
Rachel laughed. "I felt the same way when I just started too."
"The highest number of views I ever got on a video was seven. And that was because it was watched by Jonah, Derek, my two siblings, his sister, my best friend, and one of my cousins in Korea. After that, it was a wrap for me!"
Rachel couldn't help herself, she burst out laughing so hard that her eyes teared up and her sides ached. Vanessa joined in the laughter, holding her head in her hands as her body shook with mirth.
"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to laugh," Rachel apologized.
"Oh, it's fine," said Vanessa with a wave of her hand. "Jonah and I laugh about it all the time."
When their laughter finally died down, they sat quietly in companionable silence, watching the fishes and soaking in the serenity surrounding them.
"He's in love with you, you know," said Vanessa, softly. "I have never seen Derek look at a woman the way he looks at you."
Rachel smiled but said nothing.
"He may not be the best at expressing his feelings with words, but you will know how he feels about you by the way he treats you," Vanessa continued.
"I don't know about you, but I am one of the few women who prefer action to words," she added. "I feel that words are empty if there is no corresponding action to back them up."
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"I guess so," Rachel agreed, "but it still doesn't hurt to hear the words. I love Derek and I understand that it might take some time for him to warm up to the idea of falling in love." "Mm-hmm," Vanessa agreed.
"But I don't want to get my heart broken because I am waiting for a declaration that I may never hear," Rachel continued. "A part of me wonders if he's doing all of this now because he still feels guilty about rejecting me when I was pregnant with Zoe."
"There could be a little bit of guilt at play here but I believe he is motivated by something other than guilt, Rachel. Be patient with him and with time, he will realize that love is indeed a beautiful thing and he has nothing to fear." "Do you think he is afraid?"
"Yes. I think he is afraid of falling in love because of how his parents' marriage played out. I wonder if he has told you about them before?"
"Yes, he has. I felt very sorry for him knowing that he grew up with a father who pined for his mother while she hopped from one man's bed to another. That must have been very painful to witness."
"And that is why you should be sympathetic toward him and his hesitation to let down his guard. Derek doesn't want to end up like his father."
"But I am not his mother," Rachel argued.
"True, and that is what you need to show him - that you are Rachel Lane and not Yolanda Fraser. Do you understand?"
Rachel sighed. "I think I do."
"Good. Now, let's go inside and see how the girls are doing. I'm sure the nanny would be thankful for our presence. Sometimes I feel sorry for her and then I remember that I pay her handsomely for the job and that instantly absolves my guilt. She's simply doing what I pay her to do."
Rachel chuckled.
"In the meantime," Vanessa continued. "I think you're going to need a nanny for Zoe during your around-the-world trip. You can't spend the entire time carrying her around and feeding her when you should be having fun with your man." "Er, I don't know..." said Rachel uncertainly.
She'd never thought about getting a nanny for Zoe because they'd never needed one. "I'll have to discuss that with Derek."
"I think that decision is mostly up to you, Rachel. You don't know the power you have over Derek yet, but I'm sure you'll find out soon enough."
Rachel wasn't sure if she understood what Vanessa was saying but she kept quiet. The woman knew Derek more than she did, so she just might be right when she said that he loved her too.
Well, that remained to be seen and she was patiently waiting.