Extracts from The Diaries of 'Professor' Cornelius Crane

Due to the fact that I will not be able to read, I’ve decided to start preparing some video tapes for myself; some stuff that will help ease my six-year-old self into the strange new world he’s going to find himself in.

Hell, poor guy, it really will seem like something out of a science fiction flick to him.

Thank goodness that I clearly remember being interested in time travel at that early age already. I loved watching the Time Machine movie even though the Morlocks gave me nightmares for a week. It’s a good thing the memory was so vivid, I’ll be able to use it as a springboard to explain his…my predicament to me.

Shit, Time Travel is confusing to me, and I’m an educated adult! How the hell do I explain it to a child, even if that child is a younger version of me?

Of course, I’ll only be able to say enough to try put my six-year-old mind at ease. But then how does one explain the fact that I know what is about to happen?

I’ll have to present it in a way where I can pretend to have discovered the presence of an embolism that is expected to induce a severe stroke; something that I inadvertently picked up using the new…CAT scan apparatus that Global has been developing.

That’s it! Nothing too elaborate or peppered with incomprehensible modern technological jargon; something short, simple and hopefully reassuring.

Yes, seeing myself presenting the explanation should help greatly.

I’ll start working on a script right away!!!