Experimentation

Dear Diary

Amazing how fast the weather can change, from a bright sunny day to a rainstorm. The winter flew by like every year, Illton does not like to be cold. Mrs. Zillah’s class has officially become Mona and I’s safe haven. Mrs. Z loves the company and I need to be away from Cade, his recent actions towards me ever since I was pushed down the stairs is starting to make me cautious again. Mona has been making me keep the lighting at my fingertips, not wanting me to get hurt again. If it wasn’t for my fast healing, my leg wouldn’t be functional. Jayde is a girl who likes to pick on the weak but I can make her fall to her knees in pain, I can make every fiber in her body ache, I could stop her hea- No, that’s not who I am.

“Irisa” Mona shouts in my ear letting me escape from my world. “What Mona?” I whisper trying to recover from myself again, I am not a monster. “Are you getting ready at my house tonight or do you want to go to yours?” Mona grabs my hand bouncing slightly in excitement but all I am is confused. “What are you talking about Mona?” Her face turns from excited to disappointed. “Prom? It’s our last one before we graduate from this piece of shit prison. You have to come, you’d promised.” Did I? “Look, Mona, I love you and you’re my best friend but there are reasons I’m not going. First, I never bought a ticket and the sale ended last week. Second, I don’t have a dress to wears. Lastly, what if I lose control of my ‘powers’? I don’t want to massacre my graduating class.” The attitude that flows out of my mouth is shocking to me but Mona has a gentle smirk on her face as I finish my rant. I know she is just going to be upset but all the reasons I gave are valid. “I know you were going to try and pull something like this but I’ve been prepared for this battle. For your first problem, I had bought the tickets when they first came out with the money you allowed me to borrow for lunch. The second issue that you made up, I’ve put my blood, sweat, and tears into making you a one of a kind dress that will make you look like a goddess. The third problem has the simplest solution of them all, just stay away from Jayde and you won’t be a murder. You are going to the prom with me.” I let out a sigh knowing I am not winning this battle today, I have to go to that stupid dance. “What time do you want me to come over?” I moan out in annoyance, placing my hands on the sides of my head rubbing my temple softly. “7 o’clock sharp, not a minute later or I will be best friendless once again.” An attempt at being serious came from Mona’s mouth and all I could do was laugh. This girl will seriously be the death of me.

The day went by a lot faster than I had wanted it to but there was nothing I could do about it. Chemistry was my last class for the day for senior prom we get to leave early, yeah. I totally want more time to get ready for a dance I didn’t want to go to, I still don’t want to go. Slowly packing my bag and leaving class, I let my mind wander about the night to come. Why does Mona want to go that badly that she forces me to be dragged along? A hand grips on my wrist pulling me from my thoughts, a yelp was heard in the air as electricity sparks off of me. “Really Isa, did you not hear me calling your name?” Mona’s face is priceless, I start to chuckle having restraint from letting out my grizzle of a laugh. “I’m sorry Mona, I was lost in thought.” Calming my laughter down before looping my arm with Mona’s. Her eyes light up with joy as we walk down the hall, her smile shows her enjoyment of her winning our argument. We push through the crowds out the front of the school making our way to Mona’s car. “Do I have to wear a dress?” I manage to groan out as we get our stuff in the backseat of her chevy blue truck she got last week. “Yes, I made it. When we get to my house- I’m kidnapping you for the rest of the day, your sister said it was fine. Anyways, once we get back you can look at your dress and I will make any changes you want to it, okay?” Mona’s voice fills with humor and delight as she finishes her sentence. I’m just sitting here in shock because I didn’t know Mona could sew. “Okay.” Saying with a loud confidence, that I’m going to have to fake the whole night. Mona just smiles, starts her car, and begins to drive away.

In the entire time of Mona’s and my friendship, I have never once been to her house. Every sleepover we had was at my place. Every time we were to hang out, it would be at my place or Jack’s Pizzeria ( The pizza place we went to when we talked about my powers) or her cliff. Any location other than her house was where we could hang out, but now we are getting ready for our senior prom. Honestly, I think she just wants to go there because I own like two things of makeup and a small bathroom mirror, not the most ideal place to get ready for prom. Mona suddenly turns left down the road bringing my attention back to the present. “Woah, princess calm down. We will have enough time to go to the ball, Cindy.” My body jumps in fear as she stops the car suddenly. “I’m sorry Izzy, it’s just that my dad and stepmom aren’t home right now. They are going to be out until 3:30, this way is to the back of the estate that we live in so that if they do beat us there than we don’t have to communicate with the likes of them.” My eyes turn towards the clock, reading it out to be 3:24. “If you want to beat them then we got to hurry up.” I grasp my hand around the safety handle and my mouth forms a smirk. “Okay, let’s do this.”

The car safely stops in front of a glorious mansion, my eyes pop out of my head in shock. I knew Mona’s family was rich but not this rich. My body finds its way out of the car and onto the solid stone pathway in front of me. The house was a clean white paneling, a round black roof, the windows- “Izzy? You alright?” Mona’s hand gently squeezes my shoulder to snap me out of my distracted phase. “Yeah, I just got lost in thought again.” Mona hastily moves her head in a nodding manner, grasps my hand swiftly and drags me up a long stairwell. The second floor is just as clean as the first, the walls have gold lining swirling up and down the corners of the walls. Before I could grasp onto more details, I was dragged into a room at the end of the left hall. Mona begins to move towards the center of the room, “Izzy, welcome to my sanctuary, also known as my bedroom. I know it’s not much but its home.” Her smile reaches her eyes when she sees my reaction, the spark in her eyes when she sees someone she cares about happy for her is truly rare. The walls are light pink with white patterns around the wall, swirling from the floor until touching the ceiling. A white canopy bed sat in the middle of the room between two addition doors. The closet and a bathroom I believe. A white vanity was in the corner of the room, having a Hollywood type of mirror. A white dresser beside the left wall across from the vanity. Did she live in a palace? “This is amazing!” She nods her head before running to the closet, “Wait here.”

A minute passes as I stay seated on Mona’s bed. I rise my hands slightly and start letting sparks jump off my palm. Facing my hands together I pulse the electricity out pushing the energy at each other. Turning my hands slightly, the electricity forms into a ball. My eyes become drawn to the ball that I didn’t notice that Mona has returned until a tap was on my shoulder. My body jumps out of fear, shooting the ball up into the ceiling cracking it slightly. “Careful Izzy. You don’t want to kill me, do you?” Mona’s voice full of laughter and joy, my lips form a gentle smile. “Can I see this dress now?” My voice is full of excitement. I want to see this dress she made. She grabs my hand harshly and pulls me off the bed. “Are you ready?” Nodding my head quickly as she holds a black dress bag in her hand. She begins to slowly unzip the bag and then pulls out the most beautiful dress I’ve ever seen. A strapless dress with a v-neckline, jewels lining the V and trailing the down to the waist. The bottom is layered with the blue fabric having a slim but puffed-out skirt, the black and blue of the dress has a slight shimmer to them. “Mona, I have no words.” My hands graze the dress slightly stroking the silk softly in amazement. Did Mona make this? The gems felt a little rough but gave the dress character, the belt made of jewels allow the v-neck to pop out from the dress. “I know Izzy, I’m amazing. You don’t have to thank me, just rock this dress for the whole world to see and enjoy tonight. We are seniors, you won’t regret this night. I promise you that we will have fun, just the two of us.” Mona’s voice holds a bit of pleading but I know my answer will please her. “What are we waiting for? Shouldn’t we be getting ready?” My sarcastic tone arises from me but the smile on Mona’s face could give the sun a run for its money. Mona quickly grabs my hand and pulls me into the bathroom, here we go.

“Do you want to look now?” Mona’s hands covered my eyes but it was hard due to me being about 7 inches taller than her. “Yes, I’ve been waiting for like forever now. I want to see.” I manage to get a laugh out of Mona. I feel her hands slowly remove from my eyes but I keep them close. “Aren’t you going to look at my work of art?” Mona’s voice burst in my ears, I nod my head slowly and open my eyes looking into the mirror in front of me. I have no words on what Mona did, my hair is wavy almost curl like when it’s usually straight. My eyes held a dark blue smokey makeup, making my eyes shine. My cheeks had a slight pink blush and my lips glossed with a red glace. I can’t believe this. “ Mona, you are a miracle worker.” Mona’s eye light up but everything about her lights up after she got herself ready. Mona’s golden hair shined perfectly once she straightened it, having a bit of glitter lining her hair. Her brown eyes are accented with gold eyeshadow having a black-winged eye. Mona is not the biggest fan of makeup, therefore after her eyes, she is just wearing pink lip gloss. Her dress is another one of her creations, a black dress with gold straps. Simple but unique, just like Mona herself.

“I know, I’m amazing. You don’t have to thank me.” Mona suddenly stops in her tracks and races into her closet, what the hell just happened? “Mona? Are you okay?” I say softly, startled from her sudden actions. “I have something for you, I forgot about it. Hold on, I’ll be out in a minute.” I walk over to Mona’s vanity and release a sigh. That girl can be picky, but she’s my best friend. I couldn’t be without her, I slowly sit down in the chair that she brought out from her closet earlier. The makeup disperses around the top of the vanity are hilarious considering neither of us is wearing a lot of makeup. I quickly glance at myself in the mirror, something isn’t right. What is it? I look around at Mona’s vanity to see if I could find what I was missing but my gut was telling me to look elsewhere. My feet manage to bring me to where my mind was telling it to go, the bathroom. My eyes search around the room until I found the source, my necklaces. I forgot them on the sink, I quickly grabbed the K and the new locket that I got for my birthday. I never found out who sent it but after my other one’s chain snapped in the fight with Jayde I’ve used this as the locket. I quickly snap them back onto my neck but because of the dress has a v-neck style, I can’t hide them like before. My heart starts to settle after I wrap two fingers on the K, I can’t lose this necklace. “Izzy? Where did you go?” Mona’s voice scares me causing me to jump back in fright, sparks swiftly sparking off my skin in defense. “I’m in the bathroom, sorry.” The sparks die down fast once I step out of the bathroom, as soon as I look at Mona, I notice a box in her hand. “What is that?” My voice comes out calmly but on the inside, I was a bit nervous. “I was shopping the other day and I went to this jewelry store, I forgot the name, and I was just browsing and then I spotted this. As soon as I saw it, I knew it was for you.” Mona places the box in my hand and starts to back away slowly from where I was standing. What a weird girl. Mona must have seen what I was thinking because she sent me a dirty glare. “I’m opening it, gosh.” I lift the lid off the box slowly moving the tissue paper just to torture Mona. “Hurry the hell up.” Nodding my head I pull the silver link out to reveal a charm bracelet. There were 6 charms, all beautiful and unique in their own way. A lightning strike, half a heart with Be Fri For carved onto it, a tree charm with an apple carved into it. The other three are an I, a shield, and an angel. I understand the first five but the angel, why an angel? “Hey Mona, this is a breathtaking but quick question. What is the angel for?” My voice stays soft and simple but my curiosity must have taken Mona by surprise. “Well, before you I was nothing but a ‘creep’ because I had a crush on the wrong guy. I lost all my friends, my Dad just remarried and I felt like my life was falling apart. I was even to the point where I thought that I needed to kill myself and leave this life. Behind the glasses and fake smiles was a broken girl that was going to be gone. One day, I get called to the office to help give a new girl a tour and be her buddy for the first few weeks. At first, I didn’t want to do it, just wanting to hurry up and drink this bleach that was coming in the next week, but the day had come and I was going to stay home but then my gut told me that I should go and show this new girl around the school. What was worse that could happen? I was already planning to kill myself, the worse she could do was speed up the process. I got up and dress faking a smile the whole time, I got to school and went to my homeroom waiting to be called down to the office. Once my name was called, all the confidence I had just drained away but I knew it was too late. I dragged my feet to the office and I didn’t even look you in the eyes at first, but as soon as we started talking I felt that I wasn’t going to lose you. I had finally found someone that would stick with me through thick and thin but when you fainted I thought you were dying. The world was being cruel to me once more before I finally end this misery. I went to the nurse’s office to check up on your dead body but you were alive and fine. You did have to go home but you were coming back and you even wanted to be my friend, the first person in a long time that wanted to be my friend. After a while of our friendship growing and me finding out your secret then you sticking up for me that’s when I realize you weren’t the world trying to get me to kill myself but instead to save my life. You have saved me in more ways than I could ever repay, no money in the world could ever make up for the gift you gave me. This bracelet is just a simple way I could say thank you and I hope that one day I can do what you did for me.” Mona’s words bring me to tears, I wrap my arms around her pulling her into my chest. The tears flowing down onto her hair, softening the hair spray that she stuck to her hair. “Thank you, Mona. Now before I ruin my makeup anymore I think we should get going to our final prom. What do you say?” A single tear falls from her face while she nods her head.

The drive was peaceful and quiet, we were both excited about this dance. Even though the whole school could care less about us, we knew in our hearts that we were stars. Pulling up to the building knowing that if we are early then we will find a parking spot much easier than if we were on time. Mona quickly turns into an empty spot near the building, we turn to each other slightly and smile. We open our doors and walk out, the building is beautiful. A country club that was popular in our little corner of the world, flowers surrounding the building, having pathways leading around to the golf course that is right next door. “This is just amazing Izzy, let’s go inside.” Mona grabs my arm roughly, but not enough to hurt, and pulls me through the parking lot and into the building.

The eating lounge was enormous compared to what the outside looked like, but I’ve learned that looks could be deceiving. A giant gold chandelier hangs above our heads, lighting up the room around us. The tables have black table cloths with gold edging, making the room sparkle slightly. “Wow, they went all out this year.” Mona’s eyes are slightly bulged out of her head, a laugh so loud erupts from my chest that Mona stops and stares. “What do you think is so funny girls?” Mrs. Zillah makes an appearance from behind the bar that is in the back of the room stretching out from on end to the other. “Hi Mrs. Z, what are you doing back there?” Mona skips along in front of Mrs. Z relaxing on one of the bar stools. I drag my feet over to the seat plopping down on the stool beside Mona. “Are you going to serve us, minors, alcohol? The horror!” The humor in my voice jumps out among the chattering teachers that had just shown up in the corner causing their heads to snap towards us. “No, I’m not serving you a drink. I’m not serving them, Leonard, I like my job and I’m smart!” Mrs. Z eyes trails to me in annoyance, all I do is smile sweetly back at her keeping my innocent facade. “I’m back here locking up all the drinks that you frisk teens think you can get into from behind here. Did you guys check-in at the door yet? I think the volunteers have just set up, I’d go do that if I were you.” After that Mrs. Z turns away from us and goes through a door behind the bar, I quickly jump off my stool, leaving Mona behind, walking to the check-in booth. Jayde and another girl, I believe her name is Lele, are sitting at the booth. Jayde still has her fresh bruises over her arms and across her face, a scar now from her collar bone to the middle of her arm when Cade had restrained her. “I’m here to check-in, the name is Irisa Farren.” Lele reaches forwards and grabs the guest list as Jayde's eyes wander over my beautiful body. “How?” Jayde voices come out in a whisper but I just smirk as she is clearly confused. How did I manage to get away from our fight without a single scratch on her body, but she had to be hospitalized for the last few days. “I would close your mouth if I was you. You don’t know what things could be forced in there if you keep it open for too long.” Jayde’s eyes snap to mine fast, before I allow her to get a word out, Lele jumps in the conversation, “You are all set Irisa, have a good night.” Lele’s hand gently touches mine as a light blue stamp is placed on my left hand.

I make my way over to the dance floor in the next room, a light gold disco above the floor lights the room fully. The shine allows the floor to look smooth, dancing will be easy in this room but the room allows too much light to allow the students to ‘get real cozy’. The wooden floor has a nice sleek look to it, allowing the floor to be smooth enough to have less friction when dancing but won’t cause falling. “You look beautiful.” A voice comes out from behind me, my heart skips a beat once the voice registers. “Hello, Cade. How are you tonight?” I can’t face him, my eyes focus on the DJ’s booth in front of me. “I’m doing okay, but I would be doing better if you weren’t ignoring me, Iris.” Iris? He has the nerves to call me Iris after what he allowed his friends to do? “Well I’m not ignoring you know, am I? I just can’t stand to be around you, I wonder how the hell we were friends all those years ago.” With my anger rising fast I look him in the eyes, to show the blaze that was held within them. We just stand there, doing nothing but staring at each other. I finally break eye contact and look at him, his brown hair loose with his natural curls for the first time in forever. He is wearing a dark blue almost black button-up dress shirt and a black vest, the first two buttons are undone of his shirt giving a slight view of his chest. A simple black belt with black dress pants allowing his dark blue shows to be noticeable, we match. “Look at that, we match.” Cade’s voice jumps out as if he had read my thoughts as if mind-reading was possible. I move my head slowly in a nodding motion but not a sound out of my mouth. “Izzy, let’s go claim a table.” Mona’s arm links with mine and she pulls me away from Cade’s proximity.

“Have I ever told you about how much I love you?” I whisper softly into Mona’s ear. “No, but you should do it a lot more often if life keeps going like this. You lie to your heart about how you feel and me having to spell it out for you.” Spell what out for me? What the hell is she talking about? Mona’s eyes show annoyance with a tad bit of humor, “Irisa, you’re in love with Cade.” My breathing stops for a minute, I’m in love with Cade? That is stupid, crazy even to think about, me being in love with Cade. Isn’t it? I know I was conflicted with my feelings when middle school came around but once he had abandoned me, they went away. Now, recently my heart starts to pound faster when he is near while my hands get slightly sweaty. Do I have feelings for him? “Just forget about it for now, okay? You and I are going to go out there and enjoy the dancing and later on, food. Let’s go.”

The music moves my body and soul in a graceful way that I forgot that I possessed. The dancing lessons that I took when I was in elementary pull off when the upbeat songs come on. Mona and I were in the center of the gym and mosh pit, what we like to call it, the intense dancing takes a toll on Mona. The energy in my body pumps to my adrenalin keeping the momentum in me going. “Izzy, I’m going to get some water, stay here I’ll be right back.” Mona walks out of my sight leaving me alone to dance. I keep the speed up as more people surround me allowing me to grasp onto the situation of the people around me. They are blocking me in, they're trapping me. The lighting sparks off my skin trying to form a wall but the proximity of people is blocking it. “Irisa!” A voice shouts from behind me as a hand wraps around my upper arm, I snap my head towards the person behind me. “Are you alright? You looked like you were having a panic attack.” Cade’s eyes shine with worry as I wrap my arms around his stomach using him as a way to ground myself. I push my head into his neck holding him close to me, listening to his heartbeat slowly. Pump-Pump...Pump-Pump…Pump-Pump...Pump-Pump.

“Izzy, what’s going on?” His voice snaps me out of the trance. I manage to swiftly move away but Cade’s arms move around my waist pulling me back into his chest. “Don’t push me away again, I’m worried about you. I miss you, Izzy, you’re my best friend.” The upbeat music playing starts to slow down, a slow song. “Dance with me and tell me how you feel, please?” Cade holds his hand out in front of me. Should I take it? I close my eyes letting the energy inside me settle, what should I do? My body takes over and places my hand in his, Cade smiles from ear to ear as I nod my head. I wrap my arm around his neck as his right-hand touches my waist, my other hand still placed in his as the music playing softly in our ears. Cade’s green eye draws me in as our hips sway along with the music, his touch stays gentle as he releases my waist and spins me to the music. We move gracefully around the room as people’s eyes begin to fall on us, for some reason, I don’t care if they stare. My eyes meet Cade’s once again as the song heads towards the ending, my heart skips a beat as his eyes shine with a passion and love I have never seen in his eyes. I feel him beginning to twirl me out, my body moves in a smooth way before crashing into Cade’s chest as I’m pulled back. “Sorry, I need to go.” I manage to walk away swiftly from him as a crowd of people had formed around us. “Izzy, where are you going?” Mona shouts from behind me as my feet hit the ground outside, I can’t explain to her what’s going on with me.

Glancing around the environment I placed myself in, my eyes settle on a pathway leading to what looks like a fountain. Reaching down I take off the heels that Mona convinced me to wear, the fact that I didn’t fall when running is a surprise to me. Slowly, I make my way over to the fountain putting my hand in the water trying to relax. Why do I feel this way? It’s Cade who touched me and somehow made me feel weird. I don’t know how to explain it, this feeling is familiar but I can’t place- Katrina. I felt the same way with Katrina but I can’t feel this way about Cade, he’s Cade. An arrogant, stubborn, stupid airhead of a guy who doesn’t understand what it’s like to be me. Why do I feel this way? “Ah, why world? Answer me that.” Yelling into the sky allows some of my anger to deplete slightly.

“I don’t think China heard you well enough, scream a bit louder next time.” Cade’s voice erupts from the fountains entrance but I didn’t get scared of it, first time for everything. “What do you want Cade? I thought me leaving would have been a clear enough message for you.” Don’t look at him, don’t you dare look at him. I sit down slowly on the edge of the fountain, facing away from the club, and away from Cade. “Maybe to you but you are leaving confusing messages for me.” Footsteps make their way over to me, Cade is getting closer. Stay calm Irisa, you’re strong, don’t let him tempt you. “You have this weird panic attack in the middle of the dance floor and I manage to snap you out of it, you end up snuggling into my chest and then you pull away trying to walk away. You accept my offer to dance, looking happy and peaceful as we become the only people in the world, but once the song ended then you ran out of the whole club. How is this a solid sign for anything?” Just keep looking away Irisa and you can make it through this. “You are looking at the wrong facts, I tried to ignore you at the dance and when I had my anxiety attack I was pushed into you and it seemed like I had hugged you. I only danced with you because I knew if I had tried to reject you, you would only keep pestering me until I did. I ran out because I saw it as an opportunity to get away from you!” I shout out lie after lie as I pace in front of him, keeping my gaze away from him.

I finally had the courage to meet his eyes and all I saw was anger, but my gut is telling me there is more to this emotion. “Irisa Farren, you act like I haven’t known you my entire life, you think by now that I wouldn’t know when you are lying? Every word you had just said was a lie, spilling from your mouth.” I force my head away from him trying to compose myself, how does he know. “How would you know I’m lying to you huh? Are you magic?” I force the sound of anger and sarcasm out of my mouth even though every fiber in my body wants me to run up to him and apologize for leaving him like the way I did in the dance. “No, I know you, even a year away from each other doesn’t change the habits that you had over the years of us growing up. Every time you lie, your nose flares out and your right eyebrow goes up slightly, I know you Irisa. Stop trying to forget about our past because it’s not going to happen.” Cade and I are only two feet away from each other, our eyes locked. I open my mouth to say something that would get him away from me but nothing came out. I didn’t want him to leave, I wanted him to come closer. “I wish I didn’t flip out at you when you were in a bad place.” Cade moves a bit closer as he continues talking. “I wish I had the courage to talk to you when you got back. I wish I stood up for you at the diner when Jayde was being a bitch. I wish I could have done more when you and Jayde got into a fight at the mall and you had done something to your leg, all I did was talk to you until I thought you were calm. I have been thinking about you ever since you got back and every time we pass in the hallway and our eyes meet. All I want to do is hold you and scream on the top of my lungs that I’m sorry for leaving you alone. I’m sorry that I was the only one to visit you before you decide to stop allowing them to come. I’ve been in love with you since we were 10 years old but I’ve never had the guts to tell you and when I almost lost you because you were so depressed after you lost your mom, I just snapped at you because if I was to do it to anyone else I knew they would be angry at me for being mad at you. I snapped at you because I felt safe but I never came back even when I wanted to go back badly. Please forgive me and let me love you the way you deserve to be loved.” Does Cade love me? My mouth drops slightly as I try to make words form from my mouth but I can’t. I stare into his eyes but I don’t know what to say. “Screw this.” Cade begins to move towards me, he is giving up on me, again. As he reaches me, he places his hands on each side of my head and pulls me closer to him. “What-” Before I can continue his lips meets mine, kissing me into silence.