SWNOVELS Chapter 484
Chapter 0484
Hell, I should have let go the moment Rowan decided to marry Ava. He didn't have to, but he did, because maybe deep down, something different was working inside him. I should have moved on the moment I realized there wasn't a future between us.
I hate myself because Mia just showed me the extent to which I broke Calvin. He did nothing but love me, while I used him and kept him tethered to me instead of letting him go.
"I think that's enough for today," Mia says once I'm calmer and my crying has stopped.
Today was brutal, but it also shed a lot of light for me.
"Thank you," I sniff, and wipe my nose with the tissue she gives me.
"Anytime," she replies. "Now, I'll see you the day after tomorrow."
Following my fourth session, we had agreed that I'd be seeing her every other day. I had a lot to unpack and she felt that was the best course of action. Once I was more stable, my sessions would start to dwindle a bit.
After giving her hand a squeeze, I walk out of her office, and out of the building.
I didn't really feel like going home, so I just hop into my car and drive around, not really sure where the hell I was going.
When I come to a stop, I'm surprised to find myself outside Calvin's offices. I am not sure if he's even around. He has a construction company. He's the boss, but he likes being at the sites. He likes working with his hands and not just sitting behind a desk all day long.
What the hell am I doing? I keep asking myself as I get out of my car and walk towards the building. I should turn back, but I can't seem to stop my legs from moving.
His office was on the first floor, so I take the stairs hoping it would give me time to rethink my decision and back out.
I get to his floor and immediately head to his office. I push open the glass door, just as his secretary turns to me. "How may I help you?" she smiles politely and in a welcoming manner.
"I'm here to inquire about your services. I'm thinking of renovating my house."
Did I sound convincing? The pounding of my heart is the only sound I could hear above the ringing of my ears.
"Sure, no problem." She replies. "The boss is here today so you can speak to him. What's your name?"
*Anna White," I lie while trying to hide my grimace.
*Just a moment," she types something on her keyboard before raising her head. "You can go in."
She points me in the direction of an office that is on the opposite side. Despite knowing where his offices are, this is the first time I've been here.
I give her an appreciative nod and then walk towards Calvin's office. I knock before pushing the door open.
Stepping in, I find him bent over his desk working on some papers. Content belong to NôvelDráma. Org.
"How can I help you, Anna? Is it okay if I called you Anna? I don't know if you are married or not. I don't want to be disrespectful."
His eyes widen, and he freezes in his chair when he pulls his eyes from the papers he was working on, and they fall on me.
"What the hell are you doing here?" he growls, gone is the friendly tone he had used a few seconds ago.
"I'm sorry," I blurt out before I can chicken out. "I'm sorry for what I did to you. I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry
for denying you a chance to move on and find a better woman. I'm sorry for holding you back. I'm sorry for using you. I'm sorry for the years of pain I've put you through. You are a good man, Calvin, and you didn't deserve the shit I put you through."
I stand rooted near his closed doors, my hand trembling and heart aching. His eyes are wide in shock, but that doesn't deter me as I continue.
*You deserved to be loved, Calvin. You deserved a woman that put you first. You deserved the world. You still do. I've never apologized, and I know apologizing doesn't fix shit, but I just wanted to let you know that I am sorry. I'm sorry for taking advantage of your life and not seeing the amazing man you are. If I could take back how I treated you, I would, because you are an amazing man and father and any woman would be lucky to have you. It's just too bad I hurt you in the process and realized this too late."
Before he can recover from the shock of my words, I turn, open the door and leave. I keep my head down as I pass his secretary's desk. I don't want her to see the tears that streak down my cheeks.
Like I said, apologies don't always fix everything, but it was a start. Calvin deserved to know that I am sorry for what I did to him. That I regret what I did to him.