Envious Desire

Chloe

Selena... she’s become the thorn in my side constantly shedding my skin causing rivulets of blood to flume, staining my skin, reopening wounds time after time again. She’s the shadow of an unwanted reminder of hell, residing not only in my mind but in front of my devastated eyes.

I’m unsure if I can observe Selena or harken her shrill voice any longer. Texts ping and calls summon Axle at all hours of the day and night, imploring for food runs, or baby necessities before their arrival, tending to her every whim. Being the man that he is, he’s inclined to tolerate her and her insane requests for the sake of his child.

She beckons to inform him of every appointment she has which is understandable, he deserves to attend and bear witness to the growth of his unborn baby. She even drags him along to make purchases of furniture and clothing for both her dormitory and his.

It’s overwhelming, it’s heartbreaking to observe the baby’s room develop into the dream nursery it’s become. She’s materialized at Axles home, at all hours of the day, attempting to settle in a shameless attempt to stake her ground in his life. As if it’s her place to remain by his side now.

The baby... every time I see her enlarged stomach, it’s like a harpoon through my heart, seizing it mid beat. I’m hyper vigilant to her actions, when placing a hand on her rounded belly, caressing it while sitting or standing and can’t help but ponder the sensation it would cause.

It’s tortuous monitoring her flaunt her rotund stomach around the house or even at the office. Axle and I have attempted to reconnect on numerous occasions however, her incessant presence hinders our progress. The constant reminder that she will give him exactly what was torn from our grasp assassinates every bit of hope I possess day by day.

She even had the audacity to show up to a lunch he’d arranged for us at that Italian restaurant we had our little rendezvous in, in the bathroom months ago. She’s omnipresent, infiltrating every moment we attempt to partake in.

Is this what our life will be like? US, attempting to have our moments together while she does everything in her power to halt any progress? Will she use the baby to slither a wedge between us? Will she endeavor to gain Axles attention using her baby- their baby, as leverage?

Ugh! I renounce any thoughts of her to infiltrate my mind anymore, I’ve decided to surprise Axle for lunch, with the expectation we will have the ability to consume a meal sans Selena. When she is cognizant Axle and I have an arrangement, she “surprisingly” makes an appearance to ruin what advancement, if any, we have achieved.

Shaking out the image of the whore with Axle in my tormented mind, I conclude a surprise visit is warranted. Jumping in the shower, I cleanse myself of vile thoughts as I infuse my hair with coconut cleanser and wash my body with coconut scented soap.

The steamy water seared my flesh into rosy hues, welcoming the hot sting of pain instead of the horrid images in my mind.

Dressed in a blue off the shoulder, long sleeve sweater with gray skinny jeans, I compliment the look with over the knee thigh high boots. I complete my look with minor makeup to conceal the reminisce of proof of my horrible experience and head out the door.

Parking in the garage adjacent to Axles place of work, I contemplate what words justify a surprise visit in the middle of the day. Second guessing my actions, I huff out a huge breath exiting the car whipping around the wall, walking towards the street.

Halting my feet, I peer at the massive building, so many memories flood my mind as I close my eyes to enjoy each one. A smile tugs at the edges of my lips when I peel my eyes apart to view the entryway of the infamous coffee shop where it all began.

Stuck in place, nothing is possible but painful gifs of the moments he’s shared with her thus far. With each painful movie comes another crack to my already pierced heart.

“Chloe?”

Taken out of my anguishing trance, my eyes veer towards the husky voice to meet reddened hues of brown.

Shaking off my pain, “Are you okay Eli?”

“Not really. Avery and I just had a huge argument,” lips form a thin line.

“I think- I think it might be over.”

The anguish reaches his eyes as they water, triggering my arms to coil around him, “Awe, Eli. I’m sure it’s not over. Let’s have lunch. Tell me what happened and maybe we can come up with a solution to have you two remain a couple.”

Elijah and I walk into the restaurant just across the way, taking a table by the window. Perching in our seats, I inquire, “What happened?” Our server pops up just then.

“Good afternoon, my name is Elle. I’ll be your server for today. Would you like to start with some drinks?” Her voice is sweet and welcoming.

Flabbergasted, I peer at Elijah when he speaks up. “Whisky on the rocks, double please.”

Taking his cue, “I’ll have the same.”

As she disappears, I inquire again, “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know. We’ve been fighting for a while now. It’s just been escalating and today it just blew up.”

“What do you mean?”

“Avery has been saying how there’s a distance between us. And how it’s only gotten worse the last few months.”

I probe for clarity, “Is there distance?”

“There is, but I’ve tried closing the gap. I’ve had two dinners that Avery never showed up for and I even came home with flowers too.”

“Does he like flowers?”

“Used to, that’s why I bought them but they ended up in the garbage.”

My lips scrunch and pull to the right side as my brows furrowed,

“Has he spoken to you to explain why he’s unhappy?”

“All that is said is how leaving is the only option if things don’t change.” Placing a hand over his face, a slight shake to his head commences when our server pops up placing our drinks in front of us.

Elijah gulps his drink, triggering my coffee-colored eyes to widen to record size, evoking my hand to envelope his on the table, giving a light squeeze.

“May I have another please?” Eli inquires for another. The server disappears again. “Eli, take it easy. I don’t want to see you hurt yourself.”

Shutting his eyes he nods his head, “I just needed that first one to calm my nerves.”

“I’m so sorry you’re going through this,” I expel with a bleeding heart.

“Thanks Chloe, you always know how to make me feel cared for.”

My lips pull, the edges of his curl just a smidge.

“I’m unsure as to where it went wrong and no matter what I do, it’s just not good enough for her.” Tilting my head at his last word, I think the alcohol has already gotten to his brain.

“It’s just become so difficult to deal with. Nothing is good enough anymore,” banging his hand on the table in clear frustration, he releases his pent up anger.

Placing his drink in front of him, “Are you ready to order?” The server inquires if sustenance is next.

Nodding, Eli looks at her, “Yea, can we share the appetizer platter? Thank you.”

Scribbling on her pad, she scurries off.

Silence dances between us when Eli continues, “Unreasonable. That’s the only word I can come up with to describe what’s been happening. Do you want to hear the most audacious thing that was said? I’m not allowed to be friends with you or the girls anymore.”

Shock captured my face, eyebrows raised and connected.

“I replied, ’You can’t control who I’m friends with. Besides, I’d never do that to you Chloe. You mean too much to me to ever let go.” His eyes veered between me and his drink.

Placing his hand over mine, he rubs his thumb over my skin. I’m taken aback by the sudden contact. Barely as much as before but still a shock.

“We’ve become so close, you’re like a sister to me. I wouldn’t risk isolating myself... I just-” huffing out a breath, “I don’t see it lasting anymore Chloe,” The last part he whispers.

My eyes water observing his anguish. Cocooning his hand with both of mine. “Whatever you choose, I’ll have your back, whatever it may be. Just make the best decision for you and what will make you happiest.”

Lifting my hand he places a kiss on my knuckles. I’m not as astounded this time around at the connection. “You’re always so supportive Chloe. I love you so much.”

The mention of love tightened my stomach, receding from his grasp, Elle pops up just in time with the appetizer.

“Here you go.” Placing the huge plate between us, she inquires, “Do you need anything else?” In unison we both shake our heads, expressing our gratitude as she disappears.

“I don’t even want to talk about this anymore. Let’s talk about you. It’s great seeing you out of the house. How have you been feeling?” Eli switches the subject to ease his ongoing pain.

Time flies as we exchange sentiments of past days since we last saw each other when Eli mentions he’s late from lunch, standing abruptly, sprinting to kiss my cheek, catching the side of my lip as I jolt from the connection.

Wide-eyed and apologetic, “Sorry Chloe. I,”

Cutting him off, I understand his apology, unnecessary, I get it. “You’re running late. Go before you’re even more late,” I wave him off to step with haste.

Shooing him away, I rest on the back of the chair contemplating my life and the drastic changes that have unfolded when my heart ceases to beat. I observe what has been slaughtering the organ that beats just below my ribcage... Axle exiting the coffee shop- with HER.

~~~

What do you think Chloe will do?

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