Envious Desire

Chloe

Making my way to the one place I sense the most security, I sneak in, observing him, settled comfortably on his bed highlighted by the pale cyanic moonlight. Peaks and valleys slowly rise and fall with his melodic breath. Admiring his physique, I gawk in awe, observing his decorated skin dance in the night luminescence.

Tiptoeing to the opposite side, I bend one knee, sliding under the sheets to lie within proximity, exhaling a deep, long breath. Watching his body rest, my eyes mist in anguish. I’ve caused him so much misery, I couldn’t protect our child.

He’s done everything in his power to comfort me to allow me my space, yet keep him within arms reach and now, I must break his heart yet again with the knowledge I lost our child. Why couldn’t I do more, why couldn’t I stop him from taking a piece of Axle from me.

His hand lies extended upon the gray Egyptian cotton multi-thread count sheets. I crave to reach out and come into contact with his tattooed flesh.

My hand makes its way in his direction halting mere centimeters short of his decorated fingers. Pondering whether or not, if his touch will create the same electric response to our connection? My longing orbs follow the lines on his neck, down to his chest, following his stomach– he’s an absolute beauty.

My eyes commence to water. Axle stirs, waking up to my light heaving, heather gray eyes focus on mine piercing with his gaze, capturing my breath. I observe his body at rest, with confusion, unsure how to proceed. His breaths are steady and unwavering when I conclude I must take a leap.

Allowing the words to flow passed my lips, “I’m so sorry Axle.” Unbeknownst to him, my apology is for the loss of our child. Why was I so weak! Why couldn’t I have been more– more...; why couldn’t I cease his attack? Leading to the theft of our child.

His face contorts, eyebrows unifying in mystification at my utterance, “There is nothing to be sorry about Chloe. I get it, you need time and I’m here for it.”

Reiterating, “No! I’m sorry Axle. Please, I’m so sorry,” my head cascades from side to side, eyes drifting shut, allowing myself to gain my composure.

Eyes fluttering open, my arm elongates to reach for his strong, angular face, but something halts my arrival. Lying there unmoved, patient, he allows my pace to proceed.

If we connect he’s real. I know he’s real but it makes it all real for me. He remains unmoved. “I... I need to... touch you. I need to know you’re real,” I whisper in fear of his response and the notion that this is my reality.

“Anything you desire,” he huffs out in a barely audible breath.

Slowly extending my arm, I attempt again, reaching his electrifying skin causing my world to explode. His eyes seal at my touch. I skim his stubbly left cheek in disbelief as he resides in front of me. He’s alive, breathing and within reach!

My apologies roll off my tongue like a slinky rolling down a staircase. My eyes water at the thought of never having him close. Vigilant to his eye movement, his eyelids remain sealed at the sensation of my touch. Not moving a muscle, he allows me the capacity to roam free.

Goosebumps sprout on his well developed chest as I trace the intricate designs flowing over his pecks. His breathing quickens causing my heart to match.

I have a desperate need to feel him next to me, flowing beside him. I twist to have our bodies meld together as one. He moves to secure me with his arm but he halts his action. That’s what I crave right now. Letting him know his warmth is required, I grab his arm, coiling it around my waist.

He exhales a relieved breath, snuggling me, I kiss his decorated hand as he tightens his embrace. I bask in our comfort, breathing intensifying as another tear flows down my cheek.

We lay there in comfortable silence, breathing evening out as the fatigue hits me provoking me to slowly drift in his loving embrace.

Axle

I’m awakened by the sudden sensation of warmth within my proximity. Peeling my eyes apart, I’m blessed with the most beautiful sight known to man. She’s unmoving, staring at me with misted coffee colored eyes.

My automatic instinct is to coil my arms around her waist, tugging her to my chest, shielding her from this anguish that tortures her. In spite of everything, I lay motionless unwilling to obliterate this moment of her beside me, adjacent and conscious.

To my immense surprise, her marvelous voice filters into my ears.

“I’m so sorry Axle.”

Stunned by her apology, I retorted, “There is nothing to be sorry about Chloe. I get it, you need time and I’m here for it.”

“No! I’m sorry Axle. Please, I’m so sorry,” her head shakes back and forth

Her arm extends to reach for my face, stalling midway. I remain stoic, despite every nerve in my body exploding with the need to embrace her, willing to allow her what she needs to move forward.

“I... I need to... touch you. I need to know you’re real,” she expresses with a hint of fear in her eyes.

I speak with genuine emotion, “Anything you desire.”

Attempting a second time, I’m blown away by the connection of her touch. Lightning bolts sear my skin, igniting every nerve to flicker in excitement triggering my eyes to cascade shut, relishing her touch.

The gentlest of caresses on my unshaven cheek have never been so powerful as it is today. Her, right now, this, this is what I have been craving, my woman, my love– by my side, unafraid to take the necessary steps to break free of her trauma.

My body reacts with my hairs standing on end to coat my entire body. I remain unmoving to allow her whatever is necessary to get her secured in my embrace again, even if it’s the epitome of all my nightmares. In agonizingly slow movements she flows over my chest triggering my breathing to exasperate.

Inching closer to me, my breath hitches in my throat, lump forming, in utter disbelief. My hand automatically chases after her touch, until I recall her hesitance to my endearment. Observing my actions, she bestows upon me the slightest nod allowing me to caress her hand on my cheek. Grasping it, I twist my head to place a chaste kiss on her supple skin as her repeated apology rolls in my ears.

I allow her apologies to assist in her recovery, if that’s what’s necessary, I will allow her anything she requires. Mere inches from my face she stares into my eyes with nothing but sorrow and what seems like regret as a single tear falls from her eye like rain trickling down a windowpane.

“I forgive you Chloe. I love you,” was all I could fathom was pivotal to relieve her stress of this moment.

Twisting her body towards mine, shimming towards me, molding our bodies together as one, she settles against my chest. On instinct, I draw my arm to embrace her, however cease my actions unsure if this is too much for her. Noticing my movement, she grasps my arm wrapping it around her frail waist.

In stupefaction at the milestone we’ve just hit, I inhale her mind blowing scent, relishing all the memories that flood my mind, exhaling a feeling of… home.

Her arm latches to mine, as I envelope her body unwilling to release her from my side. I could feel her breathing steady as the precious moments passed. Her ease into hibernation in my arms brought about the sensation of weighted eyelids, triggering them to shut and bask in this monumental moment.

Little did I know how much I truly missed having her in my embrace and how much I needed it to survive. We slowly drifted off in joyful slumber together as one, as it was always meant to be.

The incessant vibration of my cell phone snatched me from my serene lifelessness, spooning the love of my life. Not wanting to disturb Chloe, I move with swiftness to halt its harrowing seizures on my nightstand. Slinking out from under her, I tiptoed to the bathroom to answer the call, caller ID alerting me it’s Victoria.

“Yes Vic,” I let out with more anger than intended.

“Axle, where are you? Mr. Wilson is here for your rescheduled meeting. You said you would be in today,” she huffed out with exasperation.

Pinching the bridge of my nose, my eyes slam shut, “Oh fuck! Alright, order him breakfast. I forgot it was today and time slipped by. I fucked up.”

I focused so much on Chloe and her advancement throughout yesterday and this morning, it completely slipped my mind that today was the meeting. I rescheduled when I saw Chloe was unresponsive to me. Figures– we take a huge step towards healing, and I have a fucking meeting.

“I’ll be there as fast as I can. I’m leaving now.”

Hanging up the phone, I slide my hands through my hair with a perpetual need to remain by her side. Peering out to the bedroom from just beyond the bathroom door, I view an angelic, tranquil, magnificent being. Chloe’s body laid across my bed breathing in steady breaths appearing as if she is finally acquiring the peaceful rest she deserves.

I’m elated we have finally broken the barrier, taking the next step in her healing process. Leaving her side feels misguided however, I refuse to destroy the slumber her body requires to wake her. I conclude, a note and flowers would be best to alert her. I had an important meeting that I could not miss for a third time, although as soon as it’s concluded, I will not waver in rushing to her side.

Handling my phone, I text Leo of my urgent requirements. With swiftness, I shower and dress in a gray pinstripe suit with a black fitted button down shirt, running my fingers through my hair, heading out the door. I jump into the car, informing Leo to hit the gas. The sooner I close this deal, the sooner I will return home to her perimeter.

Chloe

Reanimating, for the first time in weeks I slept with a calmness I hadn’t felt in months coming to the realization, his arms are the safest place for me to reside. I’ll always yearn for it even in my darkest days. He is my safety… my security… my home.

Eyes fluttering open I notice the heat I once relished in is gone. Twisting I’m met by cold, ruffled sheets and a slept on, empty pillow. Did I imagine us? Was this all a part of my hallucinations again? A sudden wave of sadness swoops over me when my rested orbs land on roses.

Noticing a paper with ink, I stretch my arm to grasp it reading its contents.

“My Love,

Unfortunately I had a meeting that cannot be rescheduled again. I’ll ensure the meeting is short as the only place I crave to be is with you in my arms.

Please rest, I’ll be back around noon.

Love A”

He loves me even through all of this he loves me still. I need to expel what truly transpired during my absence. He warrants endless apologies for my reactions, for consistently pushing him away, and for him to heed what I have known for months now… I love him. I love him, I truly and unequivocally love him.

Resting back on the pillow I drift off once again in elation inhaling his scent.

Veering at the clock, it’s 1:16pm. I texted him and called, no answer. The anxiousness from our impending conversation is retiling my nerves to vibrate at an intense level like The Flash phasing through walls. I take it upon myself to call Victoria to inquire if his meeting has concluded.

Flipping through my contacts I give her a ring.

“Chloe! Dear how are you? I feel like I haven’t spoken to you in ages,” delight filters through the receiver.

“Hi Victoria. I can actually feel your smile through the phone.”

“Oh stop it Chloe.”

“It’s that infectious.”

“Awe, thanks Chloe.”

“I was just curious, has Axles’ meeting concluded yet?”

“Oh, no honey. It’s not, it’s going to be a bit. Why don’t you stop by? We can catch up and when he’s done you can go right in.”

“Oh, I don’t know Victoria. I don’t think I’m up for going out.”

“Oh come on hun, it will be great to see that beautiful face of yours. It’s been too long, honestly.”

Mentioning my face, all I could imagine are the horrid triad of pale hues that coat my skin, “Um…”

“If you come by, I’ll make you your favorite tea.”

Releasing a sigh, a part of me just craves to see Axle. I want him near me again. I felt anxious without him, “Okay, fine I’ll go regardless, tea is not a requirement. Just seeing you will suffice.”

“Perfect!”

“See you soon.”

“Bye Hun.”

Hanging up with her, normalcy seized the situation. This resembles before, before the kidnapping before my life took a left turn leading down a cliff without a parachute. Unsure if this is what normalcy will be from here on out, however I surmise this is the beginning of it.

Excitement filters through my veins at the thought of revealing my emotions to him while he is conscious. Hopping out of his massive sized bed, I dash to my room to prepare myself for our next encounter.

Arriving at the building an uncomfortable sensation crawls up my spine. Scouring the area, not one person gives a second glance. Dubious as to why, I surmise this may be residual from my experience. That’s a possibility. Right?

Shaking off this horrid sensitivity, unwilling to allow it to determine my actions. One step in front of the other, I stroll into the familiar building.

Halting at the elevator, anxiousness consumes me. Stepping inside, pressing 20 my fingers intertwined and untwined. The apprehensiveness builds within me. Will he be upset that I’ve arrived unannounced? Second guessing myself the doors separate.

Victoria’s eyes connect with mine, her face lights up the whole room, like the sun beaming in a greenhouse. “Hi honey! Why don’t we go downstairs to the cafe,” she rounds her desk in haste as if to catch the elevator before the doors shut behind me.

Slanting my head, suspicion ensues, “No, I want to stay here. I’d like to see Axle.”

“Right now is not a good time.”

“Really? He finally replied just as I arrived and told me his meeting was over. Why wouldn’t it be a good time?” I inquire with narrow eyes.

“Maybe we should just catch up first and give him some time.”

“Some time for what?” Now my nerves are spiked, blood beginning to simmer. “Victoria, you’re acting suspicious. What’s going on?”

Her stammering triggered my curiosity and focus my attention towards his office. Without a second thought my feet followed suit. Racing towards the door a gut piercing churn ravaged my stomach. Swinging the door open, I storm in sans knocking.

Vexation steams from the top of his head like a tea kettle. His vein pulsing on the side of neck with a vivid heartbeat. His desk phone in his hand, I focus on his line of sight before he veers in my direction.

WHAT! THE! ACTUAL! FUCK!

Long brown hair and a red skin tight dress. Her head twists over her shoulder finding me, granting me the most devilish of all looks. Observing her whore red lips dance across her face into a sinister smile triggered my blood to boil over like a fucking erupting volcano. Her vile demeanor set off the devil in me.

What is she doing here? Is “SHE” why Victoria was attempting to keep me away. What was transpiring before I arrived? I can’t. I refuse to deal with this. Abdication is a must, a slew of emotions crash within me like a tidal wave. I must flee, finding solitude elsewhere before I explode.

As I determine my exodus, I switch gears, making a quick audible. Skeptical if my reaction is the clusterfuck of emotions or seeing HER again, I face Axle, storming up to him, flatten my hand, soaring it into the air like an eagle connecting with his cheek, moving his face to the other side of his body.

His hand flies to his angular face, eyes to the size of saucers, canopying the now red handprint where my hand just laid. In utter and complete awe he gawks at me. Eliciting an explosion of rage to erupt within my body like a building being demolished.

~~~

Who was in Axle’s office?

How do we feel about Chloe & Axle’s reconnection?

Thoughts? Theories?

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