Elegi Of Rose

Three days waiting for a call gave Ayu enough time to imagine different possible scenarios that could happen when she met Roni, one even included him not remembering her, but that was out now. Calling her would make any idiot conclude he didn't have some sort of amnesia. Ha! That would be so stupid!

So Ayu calmly drove to the hospital... okay, maybe not too calm, because she was furious as well. The hurt was fast to disappear, but the anger came just as swiftly. Roy acted like she was just out to buy groceries! What the heck! She was going wring his neck later for good. Then she'd force him to listen to what she had to say.

She was not that insensitive or stupid not to know or feel that her husband could possibly return her feelings. But nothing was certain unless one of them had to bring down the hammer and speak up.

He may like it, he may not. But I'm settling this one my way.

*****

Walking down the corridors of the hospital, Ayu was cautious. She didn't want to meet Sinta and Lis because that would only ruin her composure. She wanted to be alone with Roni, to talk, to say what was needed to be said, and to have closure.

She didn't know what he wanted to tell her, and any moment now, she'd find out.

Ayu took a deep breath when she stopped outside his door, released her balled fists, and shook her hands. She needed to do this. She had been waiting for this very moment and now, here it came.

In one swift motion, she opened the door and was almost blinded by the light. As her eyes adjusted, she stepped into the room and closed the door behind her. The silence told her Sinta and Roni' twin sister was not around. "Yu," Roni' familiar voice said by the window.

Ayu's eyes were still adjusting to the bright light coming through the window so she walked closer, her eyes watering with tears. There sitting on a wheelchair was the man she once loved and still cared for. "Roni," her lips quivered as she said his name, finally being able to utter it while looking at his handsome, conscious face. "I'm so glad you're fine."

He beamed, his perfect teeth showing. He looked down at his legs and said, "I still can't walk though. Still undergoing therapy." He looked over his shoulder through the window and smiled, "I've missed a lot of sun lately," he said, explaining why he was sitting where he was.

She nodded, standing there about two meters away from him.

He held out his hand and she gladly walked the remaining space between them, held his hand, and dropped to the ground in front of him crying. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."

She bent her head to hide her overflowing tears. Roni had never seen her cry before. Not ever.

"What are you sorry for?" When she didn't answer, he continued, "Hern told me you've been beating yourself, blaming yourself for what happened to me." He held out his other hand and rested it under her chin to force her to look into his eyes, those brown eyes she had longed to see for years. That warm look in them was still the same-comforting and loving.

"You wasted two years in this hospital because of me," she finally said, meeting his gaze.

"I don't remember any of it," he said, making light of his previous state.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have lost control. I was the one driving and I should be the one who-"

"Don't say anything like that," he stopped her words. "It was my fault. I told you the news at a very wrong time," he said, his words full of bitterness towards himself. "I was so stupid. I shouldn't have said it. I didn't even know why I wanted to back off."

Ayu froze. "What do you mean?"

Roni chuckled, shaking his head. "I got cold feet I guess," he shrugged.

"You... what?" she asked in disbelief.

"I was suddenly afraid and I don't know why. I made a rushed decision when I said we should cancel the wedding. I shouldn't have doubted my feelings for you, and we wouldn't be here now."

Cold feet? That was the reason?

The shock she wanted and expected upon hearing his reason must have been stuck somewhere because right now she was just plain dumbfounded. She expected a name, but a cold foot was no name! It was just freaking unbelievable! Cold feet? What the hell!

Her response startled him though, because she laughed. She laughed really hard until she was out of breath. Disbelief, relief, and sudden enlightenment showered upon her. "Yu?" he asked with concern.

"Cold feet?" she managed between laughs. "You? Cold feet?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"There was no one else? No pregnant woman? No love-at-first sight-with-another-woman?"

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He shook his head. "There is only you, Yu."

His words stopped her. Did he say "is"? It was in present form. He didn't say "was". He said, 'There IS only you, Yu.'

Okay, this was going to be difficult after all. "So, you don't hate me for causing the accident?"

"Of course not!" he said almost instantly. "I would never do that."

"So what did you call me here for?"

He stopped to look at her for a long time before answering, his face serious. "Herland told me you have something to tell me. He didn't say what it was, but he said it's big. Lis knew about it but didn't say a word. She and Sinta refused to say anything about you."

Ayu wiped her tears and let go of his hand and stood up. She took a deep breath, glanced out the window, almost hoping she was out there and not here, about to say the words that would put a dot to the chapter of her life called Roni. "I'm married," she whispered, but she knew Roni heard it too well. She knew he was shocked as well because she could feel his eyes looking at her with disbelief and awe.

"You're married," his voice shook.

Ayu nodded, the tears falling down once again. She knew at the sound of his voice that he was hurt. But she couldn't help it. She had to say what she needed to say. He got to hear the words. "And I'm in love with him," she finished. She didn't intend to tell him about her real situation with Roy. It was between her, Roy, and those people who knew about the true story-her father and Herland.

"Funny I was just about ready to ask you to marry me again a few seconds ago," Roni said, puffing out air. She couldn't look at him and tell him she was still willing to be friends with him. That would not happen for now. Maybe someday, but not now. "But it's okay. I was not even sure if you're still in love with me when I woke up. No, let me rephrase that-I was sure you were over me because if you were, you would have not left my side when I woke up. And don't blame yourself. I understand. You have a husband to think of."

"I'm not going to say sorry about finally letting you go," she said quietly. "It happened naturally whether I liked it or not."

Roni nodded, looking out the window as well. "When do I meet him?"

Ayu's lips twitched. "Soon, when everything's polished."

"What do you mean?"

Planning your weekend reading? Ensure you're on 000005s.org for uninterrupted enjoyment. The next chapter is just a click away, exclusively available on our site. Happy reading! "That's for me to know... and polish," she grinned.

*****

She didn't stay longer. All was well, and though Roni was kind of hurt, she knew he'd be over her soon. After all, he wouldn't have had cold feet or think of backing out the wedding if he was sure about her. He'd be fine and she was sure of that. Right now, her worry was about Roy.

She promised to have that talk with him once she got back and she would do that. No backing out. Today, she'd either be broken-hearted or be a happily married woman without a contract to think about.

In a hurry to get inside the house before she changed her mind, she did not bother to park the car in the garage. She half-ran to the front door and opened the door, intending to find her husband. "Roy?" she called out.

No answer.

"Roy?" she asked aloud once again.

She found him in the living room, sitting there looking out the glass walls and out into the woods.

"Hey," she said in a serious tone. "I need to talk to you."

He looked away from the glass walls, stood up with his crutches and walked towards her. "I have something for you," he said, his tone dead-pan.

Ayu didn't know why, but her heart started to beat faster. "What?" she asked, almost afraid.

He reached for the back pocket of his pants and when his hands came back in view, he was holding a piece-no, he was holding pieces of paper. "Our divorce papers," he added, his voice empty along with his whole features. Ayu's ears were ringing with his words.

The last time he gave her a piece of paper, she jumped for joy. But today, she was about to crumble down with despair.