Egomaniac

I woke up first. Even though I was generally the late riser, Drew was the one still sleeping at nearly seven-thirty in the morning. He lay on his stomach, the sheet tangled around his waist, leaving his taut ass on full display. Both of his arms were over his head, tucked under his pillow as he slept peacefully, facing my direction. He’d grown a five o’clock shadow and his hair was unruly—we’d only fallen asleep four hours ago—yet if it was possible, he looked even sexier than he had yesterday.

Could he have grown sexier? Possibly, but it was more likely that I’d grown to appreciate him more, to like him more. It was probably good that Drew’s son was going to be with him for the next week. It wouldn’t be hard to grow attached quickly, and the last thing I needed was to jump from a man who wasn’t interested in me to a man who wasn’t interested in a relationship.

My phone vibrated on the nightstand, so I reached over to grab it before it woke Drew up. After typing in my password, I found a new text had arrived.

Baldwin: Casablanca tonight? I’ll bring Moroccan meatballs from Marrak on Fifty-Third.

I sighed. This was our thing. We both loved renting movies and turning them into a theme for dinner. Back in college, we’d take turns picking out the movie, and the other would have to bring food to pair with it. I’d pick Sweet Home Alabama, and he’d bring southern fried chicken. He’d pick Shawshank Redemption, and I’d bring bologna sandwiches.

Two weeks ago I would have jumped at a movie night with Baldwin, but now I felt conflicted for some reason. It wasn’t like Drew and I were really dating, or even if we were, that Baldwin had any interest in me other than friendship anyway. So why did it feel wrong to say yes? Maybe because I was lying naked in bed with one man, thinking about making plans with another. That was probably what wasn’t sitting right. I pushed the button on the side of my phone and decided later I’d give Baldwin’s invitation more thought before I responded.

Since my bladder was calling, I decided to go to the bathroom and then make coffee before slipping out. I needed to get to my apartment for clean clothes and a quick shower before my nine o’clock appointment downstairs.

When I was done, I left a note under an empty coffee mug on the kitchen counter and headed to the subway.

Around the second stop, I realized I’d left my phone on Drew’s nightstand. At least I wouldn’t have far to go to get it when I got to work in a little while.

The office phone was ringing when I walked in with a few minutes to spare before my appointment arrived. I reached over the reception desk and grabbed it.

“Drew Jagger’s office. How may I help you?”

“I need to speak to Drew.” I’d only heard Alexa’s voice once, but I knew it was her. Not too many of his clients had a southern accent and an attitude.

Over-the-top sweetness oozed from my voice. “May I say who’s calling?”

“No, you may not.”

Bitch.

I glanced over the reception desk at the phone and saw that Drew’s office line was red. He was already on the phone.

I smiled as I got back on the line. “Mr. Jagger isn’t available right now. Would you like to leave a message?”

She huffed. “Tell him to call Alexa.” Then she hung up in my ear.

I heard Drew talking as I passed his office, so I wrote the message on my message pad and ripped off the little slip to leave on his desk before my appointment arrived. But when I went back to his office, he was hanging up the phone.

“Good morning.” I smiled as I walked to him. “I just took a message while you were on the other line.”

Drew leaned back in his chair with an impassive look. “I took a message for you, too.”

“Oh?”

He slid my cell phone to the edge of his desk. “I thought it might be you, calling to see if you left your phone at my place, so I answered it.”

There were only two people who would call me early in the morning. Since Drew was acting strangely, I figured it wasn’t my mother.

“Who was it?”

The muscle in Drew’s jaw flexed. “Baldwin. He wanted to know if he should order the Moroccan meatballs for tonight.”

Shit. This feels even weirder than it did this morning. I sensed the need to explain.

“He texted this morning and asked if I wanted to rent a movie and have some dinner. I like to match food to the theme of the movie. I hadn’t responded yet.”

Drew’s face was unreadable. “Well, he’s waiting for your answer.”

We stared at each other, my mind jumping all over the place, trying to figure out what Drew expected me to say or do. Luckily, the front door buzzed. I looked down at my watch, relieved that my morning appointment was a few minutes early.

Drew stood. “Is that for you?”

“I think so. I have a nine o’clock session. I’ll go let them in.”

“I’ll get it. I have a conference call, so my door will be shut, but I don’t like people to think you’re alone in here.”

He handed me my cell phone as he walked past. “You don’t want to keep Professor Peckerhead waiting.”

Ironically, the problem with the couple that had just left my office was they didn’t say what was really on their minds. They weren’t open with each other. Lauren wanted more oral sex and was embarrassed to ask for it. Her fiancé, Tim, wanted her to initiate sex more often. While Drew and I had yet to encounter any problems in the bedroom, I had no idea what he wanted from me. Here I was, counseling people that the key to any type of successful relationship is communication, yet I was hiding from Drew in my office to avoid finishing the conversation I knew wasn’t done.

I sat at my desk for another half hour, feeling frustrated and angry with myself. Not to mention, Drew was the type of man who said exactly what was on his mind, so why wasn’t he telling me how he felt about my having dinner with Baldwin? And why was I so hung up on what Drew thought if we were just fucking?

The longer I sat at my desk, the longer I stewed. I needed some clarification on what was happening between us. If I didn’t get it before he left this afternoon, it was going to fester. So I decided to take the advice I was constantly dishing out. And it was better to get it over with while I was annoyed.

Standing, I took a deep breath and marched into Drew’s office. He was on the phone when I walked in.

Taking one look at my face, he said, “Let me think about it. I’ll give you a call back next week, okay, Frank?”

When he hung up the phone, he leaned back in his chair the same way he had this morning and nodded. “Emerie.”

“Drew.”

We stared at each other.

When he said nothing, I rolled my eyes. “What are we doing?”

“Right now? You’re standing in my office looking a little pissed off.”

I squinted. “You know what I mean.”

“Not sure that I do.”

“Are we…” I waved my hand back and forth between us. “…just sleeping together?”

“We spend most days together, share almost all of our meals together, and when it comes to sleeping—we don’t get much of that when we’re in bed together.”

Drew looked amused. I wasn’t.

“Are we…doing those things together exclusively?”

He stood and came around his desk. The playfulness was suddenly gone from his tone. “Are you asking me if it’s okay for you to fuck someone else?”

“No!” Yes? No? Maybe? There wasn’t anyone else I wanted to be with. Oddly, the thought of sleeping with Baldwin wasn’t even appealing any longer. But I wanted to know if it would be weird if I spent time with another man.

“So what are you asking me?”

“I…I don’t know.”

Silence fell between us. I could see the wheels turning behind his eyes as he stared at me, his thumb rubbing at his bottom lip. After a minute, he pushed off his desk, and that thumb found its way to my chin and lifted.

He spoke into my eyes. “I’m not planning on sleeping with anyone else. And I expect you won’t either. I thought we settled that in the bathtub yesterday.”

My voice came out faint. “Okay.”

“I take it this is about the message I gave you earlier?”

I nodded.

“You want to know what I think about you spending the night alone in your apartment having dinner and watching a movie with the putz?”

I nodded again.

“Alright.” He looked away, seeming to contemplate his answer for a moment, and then said, “I like you. I like the way you listen to people’s bullshit problems all day but still believe there’s a reason to work through things. I like that you’re up for anything—that you like staying in and watching old movies, or going out to a pool hall. I like the way your eyes light up when you talk about your parents. I really like the way it feels when I’m inside of you and the way you moan my name when you’re about to come. I like that you made me coffee before you left this morning, and I even like that you’re concerned what I’ll think about you having dinner with Professor Pansyass.”

He paused. “I think all that should tell you that for me, there’s more here than just fucking. That being said, I’ll tell you straight out that I hate the thought of you snuggling up on the couch to watch a movie with some dickhead you’ve been in love with for three years. But I’m not going to ask you not to spend time with him. That’s a decision you need to make on your own, and I’ll deal with whatever you choose because I realize my trust issues come from a place that has nothing to do with you.”

I swallowed. That was a lot to take in at once. And it was way more than I’d expected him to commit to. “Okay.”

“We good? Because I have four hours to do eight hours worth of work before I hop on a plane so my lazy-as-shit ex-wife can complain about the traffic getting my son to the airport while I fly nine hundred miles to pick him up and then turn right back around and fly another nine hundred miles back home. And I need at least a half hour of those four hours freed up so I can fuck you bent over your desk. Because you might have made me coffee this morning, but you didn’t stay long enough for me to come inside of you, and I plan to remedy that before I head to the airport.”

My head might have been spinning, but I knew one thing for sure. There was nothing I wanted more than for Drew to get his work done and make good on his plans.

I pushed up on my tippy toes and kissed his lips. “Go. What are you standing here for? You have work to get done.”