SWNOVELS Chapter Chapter thirty-five
A cold sweat beads rapidly down my body as I stand frozen in the dimly lit room, facing my father. He stares at me, his thorny gaze tearing me up from the inside out.
"I knew I shouldn't have let you go to Mimmgar with your brother. If you hadn't been there, this never would have happened," he bites out coldly his every word piercing my heart like being stabbed by a knife.
My father's officials stare at me scornfully after receiving the news of my brother's death. Their gazes burn my skin like acid as the weight of the room closes in around me. Darkness fills my entire being. I take in deep, shaky breaths to try and console myself.
I knew father would upset over Fafnir's death but I never expected to be blamed for it. He's right though if I hadn't been there Fafnir would still be alive. I can't seem to do anything right.
Unable to respond to my father's words, I stand trembling before him, Fafnir's lifeless body sitting just a few feet in front of me. I stare intently at the cold lifeless corpse that was once my brother. Tears well up in my eyes.
Why was I so careless as to let him die?
The gravity of things only worsens when I hear the hushed voices of the officials behind me.
"She is our chieftains daughter, how is it that she allowed her own brother to be killed?" One of the officials sneers.
My teeth clench and my fist tightens, suddenly I can't hold back my anger any longer. My veins fill with frosty wrath. What do they know? They weren't even there. How can they blame me when they saw nothing?
"If you all wish to blame someone for this, blame the humans. They were the ones that killed him, not me," I cry out, my brittle voice echoing throughout the throne room.
Stalking up to me my father brings his right hand crashing down on my face. My cheek explodes in stinging pain. I stare up at my father with wide eyes. Why is he doing this to me?
"You will not try to put the blame on the humans. I've decided that, as the last act of goodwill, I will mend our relationship with the humans in honor of your brother. You will not blame them when this is so clearly your fault. Had you not been so weak, Fafnir would live," my father harshly spits out.
What the hell is wrong with my father? He was against working with the humans. Why should I be blamed in their stead?
"As you wish chieftain," are the only words I manage to get out, I can't bring myself to call him my father right now.
How can he be so cold?
"Retire to your chambers, Eleonora. I don't wish to see you right now," my father orders.
Nodding, I wordlessly leave the throne room, slamming the door behind me. Just outside the throne room, I spot my mother standing near the door. She stares at me with a piercing gaze, as tears spill from her eyes. She doesn't look at me long, turning away while stifling a sob.
So even she blames me for his death? I never could have imagined that I would be the one to blame for this. Then again, if I wasn't so weak, I could have fought alongside Fafnir rather than be in the way.
My body is heavy with every step that I take until I finally make it to chambers. Slowly I crawl into my bed allowing my tears to fall.
Fafnir's gone and it's all my fault. What am I supposed to do? I'm so lost right now, and there's no one to point me in the right direction. Curling up in a ball, I fall asleep to the sound of my sobs filling the silence that I so desperately wish to claim me.
***
It's been a week since the passing of Fafnir, his burial ceremony was yesterday. But father did not permit me to go, saying that, being the one who caused his death, it would be shameful to show my face. So I spent the entirety of the ceremony trying to catch a glimpse from my chambers.
I sit on my bed my knees drawn to my chest as an endless river of tears pours down my face. I've barely left my room since the day of Fafnir's death. I am far too ashamed to show my face in the horde.
The times I have left I've only ever received stares of contempt from those in the horde.
I lift my head from where it sits on my knees when I hear the sound of someone opening my bedroom door.
Silently, Soren slips into my room taking a seat next to me. He gently places a hand over my shoulders.
"You need to stop sitting in your room all day Nora, it's not healthy," Soren whispers, looking as though he's scrambling for something to say.
"What's the point of leaving here if going out there means facing the horde. Soren, I got my own brother killed, I'm ashamed of myself," I croak.
Soren sighs lightly pulling me into a hug.
"I don't want you to blame yourself for this, you did nothing wrong," Soren coaxes me.
A heavy silence falls over us. I stare off into the room not knowing what to say. Soren might just be the only one in the horde who has faith in me.
After a while of us sitting in comfortable silence, Soren slowly gets up.
"I have to go, my border patrol starts soon, but please try and get out. You don't need to be around anyone from the horde. Just don't keep yourself locked up in here," he says.
He waits for me to respond, but when I don't, he leaves the room.
When I hear the soft click of my door I place my head back in my knees. I know he's worried about me, but can he really expect me to want to leave with the way everyone's been treating me? I can't go out there and face everyone when every time they look at me I can see the blame in their eyes.
I move from my bed to my bedroom balcony and spend my day staring up at the sky until the sun begins to set.
When the sun fades and darkness settles over the land I decide to take Soren's advice and head out for a little while.
Stripping out of my clothes, I faze and take flight into the cool night sky.
Stars light the sky like snowflakes in the night. The pure black of the night is my comfort, a blanket of generous velvet that keeps me safe. It is the pure black that makes the moon so beautiful. In the moonlight, I am as the flora of nature, alive and unseeing, existing only as myself.
Slowing down my flight, I land swiftly on the forest floor. Fazing, I lean myself up against a tree. I sit against the tree with closed eyes. I am at home and the blackness around is my cocoon, a place in which my dreams may flow freely. The moon and stars shine above the passing clouds of ink, as the air releases the heat of the day.
I like the night, it hides my flaws, my imperfections, the scars burned into my soul. The moon guides me through the night. Her calming presence makes me slowly drift, my body switching off, but she lets my soul run free. I can do the things I would never be allowed to do when the sun is out. I can do whatever I like, as my sorrowful thoughts, silently burn into smoke as they wander through the endless night.
My eyes jolt open when I hear the sound of twigs snapping and leaves crunching off in the distance. Standing, I quickly look around my surroundings, turning when I hear more crunching from my left.
Emerging from the trees, I see a tall man with ash white hair walking towards me. Sending the unidentified man a deadly stare I question him fiercely.
"What are you doing on Perilous horde territory?" My voice is sharp as I stare on at him intently.
The man walks closer, staring me up and down with a cat-like grin.
"I've heard that the young princess of the Perilous horde is an unrivaled beauty, so I had to see for myself what all the fuss was about," the man states nonchalantly.
Rolling my eyes I place a hand on my hip, "So you came here only to see a beautiful woman?" I question with an arched brow.
The man walks closer until he's standing a few feet from me. The moonlight glints off his waist-length ashy hair. He has a face that could stop any female in their tracks, it's long and oval in shape with high defined cheekbones. Looking into his deep gray almond-shaped eyes, I follow them to his long slender pointed nose down to his plump rosy-colored lips. I glance over the rest of him, taking in his tall slender frame. He's probably the most beautiful man I've ever laid eyes on.
"How could I not come to see the famed chieftain Valrons daughter, I've heard she's most exquisite," the man says looking me up and down.
Of course, the only good thing my father has to say about me is in regards to my appearance. Of course my fathers manners are no better than that of a vulgar beast.
"And who the hell might you be to be coming here looking for the princess?" I bark.
"Excuse me for my rudeness, my lady, I am Slyvan Bray," the man introduces, giving me a slight bow.
Hope you enjoyed the chapter don’t forget to like and comment.- Ray